Bedtime rant!

[atangiblewish]

I love my boyfriend...but why does he have to "play" with her while I'm putting her to sleep. He's a chef so he works a lot of nights. But when he's home I know bedtime is going to suck. She prefers him anyway because mommy sucks apparently, lol...so him also playing doesn't help at all. I want to throat punch him right now. She's been crying and standing in her crib for about 20 min now. Not crying crying, but whining....breaks my heart but I know she's fine since she isn't shedding tears. 

[babygsmommy]

So are you sleep training? Or just letting her CIO?
Doesn't sound like you have a routine down if he plays with her some nights. This would be confusing

[atangiblewish]

His mom and brother moved out so we are better They were our main issue because they are both horribly, disrespectful, manipulative people. I moved out for a month and he kicked them out shortly after my return...wise decision lol. Though he's a stubborn guy a lot of times (and I'm stubborn as well - fun, fun!) I have to remember how much he does for our family. And like I said, once they left everything is 100000x better. We are partners again. And that is important to me after an abusive, alcoholic marriage.

We have a very strict routine and I don't let her cry it out (if she starts crying for real I'll be in there instantly). He's hardly ever home at night (when shes going to bed) so I understand where he's coming from because He works 10-12 hours a day so he hardly sees her. On the rare time he's at home he just constantly gives her fun kisses and such that are more like playing. Nothing completely rough housing. But to her, since she gets so excited around him it's tough. Trust me I'm so strict with my routine I get side eyed by a lot of people all the time. But it's my saving grace to get things done and have my quiet zen time.

[ciahanna]

My DH works overnights and isn't home alot depending on the week but he does respect my nighttime schedule.After explaining that I had to deal with the fallout from him changing stuff and how it made it twice as bad for DD he now follows my lead. What works for us is that I bring her to DH for kisses and hugs but I still put her to bed so that the routine doesn't change.

[atangiblewish]

Yea I am going to have to talk to him about it. I really just don't feel like hurting his feelings because I know he does it out of love seeing her laugh and smile. I feel like there's no gentle way to say it because he looks so forward to it. But it really does mess it up that night that it does happen. And like I said, she just is so smitten by him that she gets extra into it. When he's not home I usually carry or walk her in and she goes right in and snuggles her little stuffed animal and falls asleep. Next time he's home at night I am going to try what you do. Thank you!