Working Mom/Preschool Blues

[xanthepants]

I could put this in a whine- but I feel like starting threads so sue me.
I'm frustrated. I still don't like our daycare much. The latest is that the preschool teacher that I do like is now cutting her hours (she works 3 jobs) because she just can't do it anymore (who blames her!). So more than likely she's outta there. Word is an outside person from FL will start someday in the future. So again another new person and Coco does terrible with new people. Sigh. They've been trying to transition her in each day and it goes shitty. She cries most days for a while and hides in a corner or needs a ton of attention and reassurance because she is scared of the other kids. She doesn't really know many of the other kids (I checked and there are 2 boys that were once in her toddler class, most have moved away).

I have checked and checked other schools. Preschools situations suck. 2-3 hours 2-3 days a week. WTF. What do working parents do? I have to pay for preschool and then on top of that find a way to get her to and from and then before and after care and pay for that? So instead of my payments going down they skyrocket. Or I find places that do both (such as the lone place I'm at and it bites). I've found one other place and the director flaked out on the tour so that is a no-go (besides them having 17 kids per teacher). I'm now down to doing a second round of searches and expanding our ring and looking at parochial schools (with no ratings to be found - sigh!) or to adding a good 20-30 minutes onto my 1 hour commute. I live in a huge city. This shouldn't be a problem. How are you guys handling this or being creative with your schedules to deal with this? Finding daycare seemed simple compared to this.

[paddyb]

Apr 14, 2015 12:58:38 GMT -5 xanthepants said:

I could put this in a whine- but I feel like starting threads so sue me.
I'm frustrated. I still don't like our daycare much. The latest is that the preschool teacher that I do like is now cutting her hours (she works 3 jobs) because she just can't do it anymore (who blames her!). So more than likely she's outta there. Word is an outside person from FL will start someday in the future. So again another new person and Coco does terrible with new people. Sigh. They've been trying to transition her in each day and it goes shitty. She cries most days for a while and hides in a corner or needs a ton of attention and reassurance because she is scared of the other kids. She doesn't really know many of the other kids (I checked and there are 2 boys that were once in her toddler class, most have moved away).

I have checked and checked other schools. Preschools situations suck. 2-3 hours 2-3 days a week. WTF. What do working parents do? I have to pay for preschool and then on top of that find a way to get her to and from and then before and after care and pay for that? So instead of my payments going down they skyrocket. Or I find places that do both (such as the lone place I'm at and it bites). I've found one other place and the director flaked out on the tour so that is a no-go (besides them having 17 kids per teacher). I'm now down to doing a second round of searches and expanding our ring and looking at parochial schools (with no ratings to be found - sigh!) or to adding a good 20-30 minutes onto my 1 hour commute. I live in a huge city. This shouldn't be a problem. How are you guys handling this or being creative with your schedules to deal with this? Finding daycare seemed simple compared to this.

Have you looked into anyplace closer to work? (so downtown).  I can't remember if your H does some of pick up drop off, but if not, you maybe ablet o find a place near downtown that does both. 

[jennmm]

I'm sorry your situation sucks so bad. I don't have any real advice since our daycare situation is okay but I just wanted to lend support. Hugs!

[xanthepants]

Yeah He does pick up about 70% of the time. And he comes from the opposite direction so close to home works best for us. I thought about that too. I think I would freak out with her in the car with me for an hour every morning/night - HA! I need my NPR not my frozen cd. I'm so selfish.

[bliz1712]

My situation is slightly different because I'm in a smaller city. But there are 3 options for preschools in our town. 1) enrolling in a parochial school and paying the tuition. I think it's about 200 a month and for 2 days a week. 2) offered through the school and more expensive I think and still 2 days a week 3) an assisted program that would be based on income and offered every day for 1/2 days. 4) there is a center in town that would have all day preschool (which sounds like what a lot of J12ers do for regular DC, but I'm not sure how it would work if I wanted to continue using the DC I have.

With V we did option 1 and will more than likely do the same for both Hanna and Eliza. I have a flexible enough job that I will be able to leave and drive them to and from. I'll just have to make up my time. I hate to say it, but option 3 is the worst option. I don't want to sound mean, but it's the rif raf of our town because it's free. However, this option provides bus transportation.

I like paddyb's idea about looking downtown, maybe there's something there that would be closer to your work.

ETA: I just saw your response about closer to your work....Maybe this is a way to move up the moving to a different area.  You would have more options closer to home.  I know you've talked about moving for awhile.

[summergirl1211]

Ugh, I'm sorry it has been so frustrating for you xanthepants! Honestly my head is in the sand about this preschool thing because our center just transitions them around 3, so it just seems like a new room to me and not such a big milestone. I know I'd be all torn up about it if it was a different place or we had to worry about getting her to and from locations.

I'm sure you've considered this, but are there any centers that wouldn't be horrible drives for you and your H but aren't in town?
Or yes, moving altogether sounds like a perfect idea. Somewhere further south near trixi282 and me?

If it makes you feel any better, there has been a ton of turnover with teachers at Riley's daycare. Luckily for her there's always 2 "regulars" even if there's one new person. I think I'm worse at people leaving than she is. I swear, I cry every time. One of her main teachers is leaving today and I've already teared up a few times about it.

[roo1582]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I know this center has been an issue for you in the past Unfortunately, I don't have any advice. We are using a regular daycare center, which starts preschool curriculum at age 3. That is our only option since its the only thing that offers full days. Like your area, regular preschools are only few a few hours a couple days a week. Are there any centers closer to where your H works? I'm not sure how bad his commute is. Could he do pickup and drop off regularly?

[sarahandeddie]

Our preschool has before and after school care, although it only goes until 3 or 4. It is a Lutheran school though. The 3yr olds go two days a week and 4yr olds go three days a week. I think most of the working parents have their kids in in-home daycare on non school days. I see lots of grandparents doing pick up/drop off too. But I'd say almost half the class has a stay at home parent. In our area it's often cheaper to stay home than pay for daycare.

[aylafsu1881]

We are in a situation like @roo1528. Our DC offers preschool and that is where E will go. Honestly, I had no idea about preschool and we happened to luck out and the center we choose offers it. I do not know how I would shuttle her around during the day to get to and from preschool if it was not at her center. Plus the cost. The Montessori school here is $600 a month for preschool! H and I would never be able to afford that with DC in the afternoon and DC for this new baby on the way.
I am sorry you are having a tough time. Transitions are hard and E does the same thing when she changes rooms at her DC. It is tough to see new kids and new teachers. It sounds like you are not the happiest with this center so a move may be necessary. Si there a place closer to your H's work? Since he does 70% of the drop off/pick ups maybe you could find a place closer to his work.

[xanthepants]

H leaves for work at 5am so he cannot do drop off unfortunatly - nonflexibe hours. He does however get off early most days (3 pm for pick up though he waits until 4 to get lawn mowing etc done) unless there is a power outage or emergency (which does happen every few weeks). We work in opposite directions so we think that about 10-20 minutes out of the way for either of us is about the max since we both have about a 1 hour commute already each. I will widen our search and look at parochial schools to see if they might have extended after school care too. I think I might look at going back to 5 days as well and see if I can go to shorter hours I guess to see if I can just do either before care and then preschool then go pick her up or vice versa. I don't think that will fly with work - but it's worth asking about. Thanks for throwing out ideas!

[xanthepants]

aylafsu1881, Sorry - I'm unclear. I do 100% of drop offs. Then I do 30% of pick-ups and he does 70% of them when he can. I get all the sick day, emergency (he has to work late) pick ups since my work is vastly more flexible and he is on a strict timeclock situation with ridiculous early hours.

[sarasansh]

Maybe this is something you've looked into, but have you considered doing a preschool program and then a nannyshare? Another teacher at work does a nannyshare and he's been so happy with it--the jist is that you and another family or 2 hire a nanny together to watch all 2/3 kids and split the cost. The nanny would be able to do pick up/drop off at a preschool with odd hours and from what I've heard, the price can be comparable or slightly less than daycare. Just a thought to throw out!

[aylafsu1881]

Apr 14, 2015 14:29:59 GMT -5 xanthepants said:

aylafsu1881, Sorry - I'm unclear. I do 100% of drop offs. Then I do 30% of pick-ups and he does 70% of them when he can. I get all the sick day, emergency (he has to work late) pick ups since my work is vastly more flexible and he is on a strict timeclock situation with ridiculous early hours.

I see. That does complicate things. I like sarasansh idea of a nanny share. I hear they are popular in bigger cities.

[MissMusic]

I was also going to suggest a nannyshare! This situation is crappy, I'm sorry you're having to sort it out and Coco is suffering. I don't know how working moms do it sometimes! A nannyshare or just a nanny might work out well for you!

[trixi282]

I'm with summergirl1211, K just needs to get a job that's in the south metro or in the city and you can move closer to us!

Honestly, before we moved home I would have been in a predicament, I'm sure. But the daycare J is in now (that we plan to keep her in for awhile at least) has preschool, like summergirl said. She's already started to test out that room and so far it's been going well.

I can't believe there isn't another option near you... I'm so sorry you have to stress over this!

[justbeth]

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this! What a stressful situation. I'm sorry you and Coco are having to deal with this.

I work in a preachool admin office and hearing your story blows my mind! All the daycares around here just transition into preschool classrooms with curriculum at three. I didn't realize it was different in different regions.

[bantyrooster]

We will be in the same issue soon. On days I am off work I will have to drive him in for school, which is an hour round trip two times. It sucks. For us I will most likely transfer closer to home in a year or put him in a full time DC and just send him the days I work. Nowhere does pt daycare except the hospitals around here. I know lots with nannies and they like it. I have looked into it, but a part time nanny is hard to come by.

[summergirl1211]

Apr 14, 2015 21:39:21 GMT -5 justbeth said:

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this! What a stressful situation. I'm sorry you and Coco are having to deal with this.

I work in a preachool admin office and hearing your story blows my mind! All the daycares around here just transition into preschool classrooms with curriculum at three. I didn't realize it was different in different regions.

justbeth, agreed! It's hard for me to imagine a daycare center that doesn't also have preschool included. I think it just depends on the center and not the region since trixi282 and I are also in the Twin Cities like xanthepants and our centers (not the same center but part of the same company) offer preschool like you're saying. 

[origamimommy]

I can't add anything else, except that I feel your pain. I do 100% drop offs, pick ups, and sick days. It's so frustrating.

[cookiesandwine]

I have the preK blues too.... except I lay awake at night worrying about my tiny baby riding the bus.

[tribute17]

I was also going to suggest a nanny or nannyshare. I have no idea about price but it may be worth looking in to.

[cookiesandwine]

Instead of a full on nanny what about a SAHM mom who wants to make a little money being your runner/PT nanny?

[xanthepants]

I might have found a solution. I FB our old teacher I loved who left our center. Her daughter is a teacher at a center that is sort of within a range that I can swallow. So I'm calling her tonight to get the lowdown on it and see what she thinks of that center. It would add a little time, but if it is a better vibe than where we are at, and I trust this teacher with everything, maybe we can transfer her there. It would be all day preschool/daycare so it would work. No idea about the cost but it is probably comparable to what we pay now.

[summergirl1211]

xanthepants, that would be awesome! I hope it works out for you! Keep us posted!

cookiesandwine, I can't imagine any of our babies on a bus at this point. I don't blame you one bit!

[cookiesandwine]

Apr 15, 2015 8:33:23 GMT -5 summergirl1211 said:

xanthepants, that would be awesome! I hope it works out for you! Keep us posted!

cookiesandwine, I can't imagine any of our babies on a bus at this point. I don't blame you one bit!

It's insane right!!!!!1!11!1!1!  Ugh I hate thinking about it. They have AM and PM classes, and I'm really hoping she ends up in the morning class because I may be able to come in to work at 8:30 instead of 8:00 so that I could do drop off, and then at least her bus ride to the sitters would be only the preK kids.