I don't know what to do with myself

[soultrane]

After 2 rounds of cytotec, I'm still waiting out the cramping and bleeding and may still need a D&C on Friday. I had a follow-up sono yesterday where they confirmed that I had passed the pregnancy tissue, which happened literally as I was leaving for my appt. I was getting into the car and felt something so I ran back inside and sure enough, boom. There were still some clots left and "stuff" so they suggested a 2nd round of cytotec to help clear everything else out. 

All of that said, I just feel blah today. I'm not upset, I'm not anxious, I'm not angry, I'm just....bored. I've been working from home since last week and I think I'm going stir crazy, but I'm also hesitant to go out while I'm still bleeding. I do best when I'm busy but I just don't know what to do to keep myself occupied. 

What are your favorite mindless time wasters when you don't have anything else to do?

[Ace]

I'm sorry that you're still dealing with everything.

Honestly, my favorite time waster is GBCN/this place or browsing pinterest.

[soultrane]

Apr 15, 2015 20:33:42 GMT -5 Ace said:

I'm sorry that you're still dealing with everything.

Honestly, my favorite time waster is GBCN/this place or browsing pinterest.

Thanks. At this point, I'm just kind of annoyed that it's taking so long. My body doesn't seem to know what to do here and I'm frustrated with it. 

Which boards on here keep you the most entertained? I was pretty active on my month board but feel weird going back there, and kind of feel like I'm homeless here right now. Does anyone have good website recommendations? Games? Books? From the looks of it, if I need the D&C on Friday I'll have the entire weekend to lay around at home. I need something new to keep me occupied! 

[PiradicalMaid]

I'm sorry you're still bleeding and cramping

Buzzfeed and Netflix are my favorite time killers. I also play Candy Crush, or whatever your mindless, addictive game of choice is.

ETA: I also love love love The Toast and sometimes I'll go down the XO Jane rabbit hole...

[PiradicalMaid]

I feel the same way about being "homeless" on here! Our month board was active and entertaining. I'm sure they wouldn't mind if we went back, but I think it'd be a little triggery for me right now.

I like Baby Names for entertainment. I know I've seen you on there

What kind of books do you like?

[soultrane]

Apr 15, 2015 21:04:06 GMT -5 PiradicalMaid said:

I feel the same way about being "homeless" on here! Our month board was active and entertaining. I'm sure they wouldn't mind if we went back, but I think it'd be a little triggery for me right now.

I like Baby Names for entertainment. I know I've seen you on there

What kind of books do you like?

Wasn't our month board great?? That was my first stop every morning when I logged in. I've lurked a little this week but it just feels weird now, especially seeing the new posters who have joined since last week. I feel like going back there now would make me like Wooderson in Dazed and Confused. The new ones would be like "who is this? didn't she graduate like a long time ago? why is she coming back for our parties at the moon tower?"  

Baby Names was my hang out even before I got pregnant, but it seems like everything has just been so slow. Like, I seriously feel like I've read everything there is to read on the internet.

I love to read and usually stick with the classics. I have a kindle full of books waiting to be read, but if I'm being completely honest though, I'm kind of nervous to dive into a book right now though because I'll always associate it with this time in my life. I need to find a silly, mindless read that I'll only want to read once. 

[PiradicalMaid]

Apr 15, 2015 21:26:02 GMT -5 soultrane said:

I love to read and usually stick with the classics. I have a kindle full of books waiting to be read, but if I'm being completely honest though, I'm kind of nervous to dive into a book right now though because I'll always associate it with this time in my life. I need to find a silly, mindless read that I'll only want to read once. 

Oh wow, good point, I didn't think about the association. 

If you can handle *really* silly, have you read the Twilight books? They are horribly written, which can be frustrating, but the story is engaging. Have you read the Divergent series? That one isn't one I'd necessarily need to read again but, again, it was engaging. I also just heard from someone that Jennifer Weiner is actually a decent easy read.

What about something you've read over and over so you wouldn't necessarily associate it with this time? Some of my go-tos are Anne of Green Gables, A Little Princess, Little Women, and anything by Jane Austen. Oh, Harry Potter is one I read over and over as well I also love love love His Dark Materials, but that wouldn't be light and silly to just jump into...

[hollyberry]

I am sorry you are dealing with this, I hope you find out you don't need a D &C, not that they are bad, I have only had them. Just hope for you that the process gets finished sooner rathrr then later. Really as far as tme waisters, I am on here quite a bit and just regular tv, we just moved so organising that helped me keep busy after my loss. Hugs

[vballbaby]

How about a Game of Thrones marathon? there's four seasons you can watch on demand on HBO plus the first episode of season 5 just came out! Some mindless shows I love: Reign, vampire diaries, the originals. As far as books, I recently read Wild which I really enjoyed but wouldn't read again. It's a good escape and she's on a hiking trek through the PCT on her own. Kinda makes you envision yourself being out there in the wilderness. Fx you don't need surgery.

[muscari]

Meh, so sorry to read that after 2 rounds of cytotec you're still in limbo about whether or not you have managed to pass everything on your own or whether you'll end up needing a d/c after all.

Mind if I ask what dosages you were given and to take how/when? I've gone through a cytotec induced mc myself and was prescribed 4x200mg to take vaginally in one go. But I've seen so many different dosages and all come by! So that's made me curious about the differences. Unfortunately I ended up needing a d/c 3 weeks later after all as my MC had been incomplete and my body wasn't succesful in getting rid of the remaining tissue on her own, regardless of the epic cramping I was having all the time. I was réally disappointed about that, as we really wanted to prevent the d/c. But by that time it was the best option and I have to admit; it wasn't as bad as I thought/worried/feared, far from it. I felt almost instantly better physically after the d/c, which also had a positive impact on my emotionally. Sure, I felt sore down there for a couple days, but from that on there was just some bleeding then spotting for 2 weeks but no more cramping which was a blessing. I also felt that I finally moved on to the next phase of things, so to speak, as I realized it had been impossible to grief and deal with things emotionally while things were still dragging on physically. I grew so weary of having to deal with things and wanted a clean line under the physical part so to speak, and the d/c somehow was that line for me.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you today&tomorrow!

[followthesun]

Try the Serial podcast. So addictive!

[muscari]

Ohhh and I meant to add but got interupted while writing the message: Netflix is awesome for times like this. Hubs and I have bingewatched series like whoa. And I also spent a good bit of time on my favorite MMO EverQuest2 hehehe

[soultrane]

PiradicalMaid, Anne of Green Gables and Little Woman are two of my favorites and I have the full Jane Austen collection waiting to be re-read!

hollyberry, it's not that I'm nervous about the D&C (in fact that's what I thought I would do before I met with my doctor last week and she recommended trying cytotec over the weekend), I just thought this part would be over by now!

vballbaby, I'll check out Wild. Thanks!

muscari, they had me take 1 dose on Friday (4 pills vaginally, 800mg) which did work and allowed me to pass almost everything. I took a second 800mg dose on Tuesday afternoon because I still had some clots remaining. My bleeding has been fairly light since then, so I'm thinking that a D&C is in the cards for tomorrow. I'm just ready to be able to get back into a regular routine without worrying about bleeding and super jumbo pads!

followthesun, I really wanted to listen to the Serial podcast when it came out and kept forgetting to. The story is local to me so I've caught a lot of the details on the news and my husband and I kept saying that we were going to check out the podcast. I think I know what's on tap for this weekend, thanks!

[muscari]

Ahh yes I absolutely understand that by now you are ready to get rid of the superpads by now! I felt the same way after having needed them for five weeks. Did use pads for my first period after the d/c cause I wanted to be able to keep track the blood loss but I have been using tampons since I was like 16 and pads are just to not my thing, so next period I am back to thoese I think!

I wonder whether a second dose of cytotec would have helped me had the dr prescribed it after the first check up. But I was sent home to wait to see how things progressed naturally. Then by the time I had another check up -with another dr- it was too late to try that and I was scheduled for a d/c asap (just had to wait the weekend).

Will you be scheduled in for a d/c the same day once you have your check up on friday or? GL girl!

[hollyberry]

soultrane, well its good you are not nervous then. And ya a D&C is a lot faster, to deal with the physical part of it all. Good luck.

[soultrane]

muscari, the D&C is scheduled already for tomorrow afternoon. They prescribed the cytotec last Friday and scheduled the D&C just in case I would need it. After my follow up appt on Tuesday, they decided to keep it scheduled but for me to do a second round of meds in the meantime to see if that would clear out the rest. I'm planning to go in for a sono tomorrow morning to determine if I still need the D&C.

[muscari]

Ahh, gotcha soultrane! Good luck tomorrow with your appointment - keeping my fingers crossed all will go smoothly for you, one way or the other!

edited to get rid of a stupid type *giggles*

[vivela]

The waiting is so hard! I binged a lot of Midsomer Murders and Death in Paradise when I was waiting for my m/c. They are both British detective shows, nice and light.
You could try heading over the CAL or The Bench. CAL has plenty of people who aren't actively trying, the women there are really kind and helpful as well.

[nikolie93]

I felt the same way when I went through my second loss, it never seemed to stop. I worked from home as well and got stir crazy too. Luckily work was so damn busy it kept me occupied for the most part. FB helped me too!

Sorry it's being so damn slow for you.

[PiradicalMaid]

Thinking of you today, soultrane. I ended up opting out of a D&C because my bleeding started to lighten on its own.

I also thought of another recommendation for you- I just read something suggesting binge watching a nostalgic TV show. The example they used was Buffy, which made me think about re-watching that one, but maybe there is another show that you've already watched a million times and might want to throw on again.

Hope you're doing well

[soultrane]

Apr 17, 2015 12:51:05 GMT -5 PiradicalMaid said:

Thinking of you today, soultrane. I ended up opting out of a D&C because my bleeding started to lighten on its own.

I also thought of another recommendation for you- I just read something suggesting binge watching a nostalgic TV show. The example they used was Buffy, which made me think about re-watching that one, but maybe there is another show that you've already watched a million times and might want to throw on again.

Hope you're doing well

Thanks! I was thinking of you today too and was wondering if you ended up needing the D&C. I went in for a sono first thing this morning and my OB said that I was totally clear, so no D&C!

I made today a "me" day instead since I had already taken off work. I got my hair cut and highlighted and have just been lazy. This might sound weird, but the haircut was kind of cathartic. I had a lot of time to think while I was waiting and it does kind of feel like a new beginning. New hair, new beginning! 

[vlinder]

I'm glad today went well for you!

[PiradicalMaid]

soultrane that sounds like a great day! I've actually been thinking about doing something with my hair. Hmmmm, you may have convinced me

[Ace]

I'm glad today went well for you!

[muscari]

So glad to read that you ended up not needing the d/c, soultrane, that's wonderful news! Your me-day sounds lovely

PiradicalMaid, am also glad to read you were able to opt out from your d/c procedure as well.

[nikolie93]

I'm so glad to hear that neither of you needed d&c's!