So many internet hugs to you and R. I wish there was something I could do or say to make it easier. All that's certain is that this too shall pass. Hugs, hugs.
Well, damn. I am so so sorry and devastated for you. You are in a position that no woman, no mother, should EVER have to be in. Ultimately only you and R know what is best for you and your family and that is the right decision. Know you have 100% support behind you. Hugs to the five of you.
Wow, this is rough. I feel the heaviness and sadness expressed in your post, and I hope the right decision comes to you and that you move forward in peace.
I can't imagine being away from my baby so long, but I do remember being young and watching my parents being faced with incredibly difficult situations. What I know for sure is that we are all faced at some point with life changing decisions. When Piper comes to that place in life, she will have the best examples set in front of her. She has the best parents in you guys. She will know what bravery and courage look like because that is what you have shown her. You are an amazing woman and I am rooting for you.
I've been following your blog and I just wanted to echo all the other comments that have been made that you are such an incredible mother. I can not express in words how much support we all feel for you and your family.
Post by ombradellarosa on Jan 28, 2015 2:38:52 GMT -5
What an unimaginable situation you are in right now. Such a horrible choice. I can sympathise with wanting to be home right now, especially since it doesn't seem as though it would necessarily make a difference in the outcome. You can lean on us! My family will keep praying for you.
Post by baytosa2013 on Jan 28, 2015 9:44:14 GMT -5
I'm stomping my feet right now because this is SO NOT FAIR! I am so incredibly sorry that you and Robert have to make some choices that are shitty and shittier. Whatever choice you end up making, I pray that you will be able to be at some kind of peace with it. You are wonderful parents and will make the best decisions for you and your family. I am wishing you the strength you are going to need to get through this. Virtual hugs coming your way.
I've been following your blog and routing for you and the babes from the background. There are no words for such a difficult situation and no one should ever have to go through such torment. I wish you peace in knowing that whatever decision you make will be the right one. You have shown time and time again what a strong and resilient person you are. You and your husband are brave and you will get through this tough time.
Thoughts, prayers, good vibes, and any other kind of support that travels via air or internet are being sent your way!
Thank you all so much for your support, even when I am feeling silent and weak.
We have decided to not make any decisions until at least next Tuesday. R is out of town for the next three days, then it is the weekend, so the next time we can get with all the doctors is Tuesday. We have a meeting set up with my MFM, and the lead Doctor, and will make decisions after that.
Unfortunately, for me, I will then be one more week pregnant, and one week closure to viability, so the longer we wait, the harder the decision will be. My doctor says if I want to terminate, I need to do it before 21 weeks, so we have about 3 weeks to decide. There is a weight limit that they will no longer assist in terminating the pregnancy.
New news today is my blood pressure is creeping up. I run low, and since being on bedrest it's been really low, like 90/50 has been the highest. The past two days it's running around 130/80. This is normally an okay BP, but it should not be this high while on bedrest. Hopefully it will settle down, I'm under a lot of stress.
Post by mrsdee1982 on Jan 28, 2015 11:47:50 GMT -5
I feel like it's a good thing that you won't be making any decisions just quite yet. You just got all this news and both your heads are probably swimming with information. You both need to just take a few days to let it all settle in and really focus on what your hearts are saying. Neither decision is one you want to rush into or be rushed into.
Your BP is probably high because you are so stressed out. Unfortunately I don't see that stress going away anytime soon for you. So, I know way easier said than done, but you've got to try and just relax a little. (I say this, knowing if I were in your position I would not possibly be able to).
I am just so sorry for you. This is just so unfair. I wish so badly that there was something I could do for you.
Please just know, that no matter what happens, you have people all over the world supporting you and routing for you. We're your cheerleaders. We'll be here to cry with you, cuss with you, laugh with you, etc. Just know we're all here for you.
I agree with missdee, maybe waiting until Tuesday to make any decisions will be better to give you time to process the information. Of course the decision will be hard either way. I can't imagine the stress you're going through. Just know that we are all here for support whatever you and your husband decide!
I am so very sorry you have this decision to make. I don't always post on here, but I check this thread daily to see what is going on with you and those babies. You have so many people in your corner.
Sending you more invisible, but hopefully palpable, support from afar!
Just read your most recent post and loved it. It was sad to know the story gets harder, but it was so fun to hear about your great relationship with R. More hugs to you!
Hopefully the next few days will bring you some peace; that is, I know it's a longshot, but knowing that you have a few days until any decisions need to be made, maybe your mind can check out for just a bit.
Let us know if there's anything we can do--send you links to funny stories, videos, gifs, you name it. Your minions are here and happy to help!
I'm a little relieved you are taking a few days to decide. I had a hypothetical decision in my head last night and when I woke up today I felt totally opposite. I know thinking about it isn't the same as living it so please don't take what I said as insensitive. It's an overwhelming choice to make.
On one hand I wish nature could just take its course if you were leaning towards termination so it wouldn't have to be a decision you made. On the other hand I really really want this story to have a miraculous happy ending and we can meet face to face at a book signing for you best selling memoir of this struggle.
Either way you're an amazing woman. I'm still sending love your way and wishing for a miracle. Two miracles actually.
Thank you all so much for your support, even when I am feeling silent and weak.
We have decided to not make any decisions until at least next Tuesday. R is out of town for the next three days, then it is the weekend, so the next time we can get with all the doctors is Tuesday. We have a meeting set up with my MFM, and the lead Doctor, and will make decisions after that.
Unfortunately, for me, I will then be one more week pregnant, and one week closure to viability, so the longer we wait, the harder the decision will be. My doctor says if I want to terminate, I need to do it before 21 weeks, so we have about 3 weeks to decide. There is a weight limit that they will no longer assist in terminating the pregnancy.
New news today is my blood pressure is creeping up. I run low, and since being on bedrest it's been really low, like 90/50 has been the highest. The past two days it's running around 130/80. This is normally an okay BP, but it should not be this high while on bedrest. Hopefully it will settle down, I'm under a lot of stress.
Just letting you know I'm still thinking about you and hoping for you to find peace with whichever decision you end up making.
I'm a little relieved you are taking a few days to decide. I had a hypothetical decision in my head last night and when I woke up today I felt totally opposite. I know thinking about it isn't the same as living it so please don't take what I said as insensitive. It's an overwhelming choice to make.
On one hand I wish nature could just take its course if you were leaning towards termination so it wouldn't have to be a decision you made. On the other hand I really really want this story to have a miraculous happy ending and we can meet face to face at a book signing for you best selling memoir of this struggle.
Either way you're an amazing woman. I'm still sending love your way and wishing for a miracle. Two miracles actually.
This is so sweet of you. I smiled at the thought of meeting face to face at a book signing.
I agree with you in so many ways. Last night I felt myself asking for nature to take its course. I didn't want to be the one to make the decision, so I just wanted my body to do it for me. So I prayed that I wouldn't have to make the decision. Then I woke up this morning to the babies moving around like crazy. I've only felt real kicks a couple of times, but today it's been non stop. It's like they are begging me to notice them. I can hear them telling me "we're still here, we're still fighting." Then I prayed for the decision to not be made for me.
I am planning on keeping my posts light and recapping the history of this journey for the next few days. I've come across plenty of blogs about pPROM and placenta abruption, but most of them start without a lot of history and end when things either hit the fan or a miracle happens, and that's it. I want to help other moms go through this. I want them to know every detail, every thought I've had, every step backwards and every step forward, because I want them to know it's okay to have those thoughts and set backs too. I want them to know me, so they trust me, and can find comfort in my words when they face this horrible situation. I wake up wanting to write now, it's really become an incredible distraction to this whole mess. I hope to make it a book one day, even if it's just for me and Robert, but maybe it will be for more.
So I'm going to be focuses on just that for the next few days. I don't want to think about decisions right now.
Sending you more invisible, but hopefully palpable, support from afar!
Just read your most recent post and loved it. It was sad to know the story gets harder, but it was so fun to hear about your great relationship with R. More hugs to you!
Hopefully the next few days will bring you some peace; that is, I know it's a longshot, but knowing that you have a few days until any decisions need to be made, maybe your mind can check out for just a bit.
Let us know if there's anything we can do--send you links to funny stories, videos, gifs, you name it. Your minions are here and happy to help!
I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I think some funny stories / gifs/ videos would be great. I'm actively trying to lift my spirits today.
Thank you all so much for your support, even when I am feeling silent and weak.
We have decided to not make any decisions until at least next Tuesday. R is out of town for the next three days, then it is the weekend, so the next time we can get with all the doctors is Tuesday. We have a meeting set up with my MFM, and the lead Doctor, and will make decisions after that.
Unfortunately, for me, I will then be one more week pregnant, and one week closure to viability, so the longer we wait, the harder the decision will be. My doctor says if I want to terminate, I need to do it before 21 weeks, so we have about 3 weeks to decide. There is a weight limit that they will no longer assist in terminating the pregnancy.
New news today is my blood pressure is creeping up. I run low, and since being on bedrest it's been really low, like 90/50 has been the highest. The past two days it's running around 130/80. This is normally an okay BP, but it should not be this high while on bedrest. Hopefully it will settle down, I'm under a lot of stress.
Just letting you know I'm still thinking about you and hoping for you to find peace with whichever decision you end up making.
Post by tahitiandreamin on Jan 28, 2015 12:38:56 GMT -5
I just read your blog update and your most recent post. After everything that you have been through this sucks, I mean really, really, really sucks! I really do wish you all the strength in the world as you and Robert make this incredibly tough decision. No matter what your choice is, I'm sure that in the long term it will be the best decision. You seem to be weighing your options in a very logical manner looking at what you are loosing out on right now but also considering the possible future scenarios. As a STM you do have much more to consider than if this was your first. The fact that you are considering how this affects Piper is proof that you are a strong, amazing mother! Whatever happens, whatever choice you and Robert make, know that we are all standing behind you as your cheering squad!
Sending you more invisible, but hopefully palpable, support from afar!
Just read your most recent post and loved it. It was sad to know the story gets harder, but it was so fun to hear about your great relationship with R. More hugs to you!
Hopefully the next few days will bring you some peace; that is, I know it's a longshot, but knowing that you have a few days until any decisions need to be made, maybe your mind can check out for just a bit.
Let us know if there's anything we can do--send you links to funny stories, videos, gifs, you name it. Your minions are here and happy to help!
I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I think some funny stories / gifs/ videos would be great. I'm actively trying to lift my spirits today.
I am planning on keeping my posts light and recapping the history of this journey for the next few days. I've come across plenty of blogs about pPROM and placenta abruption, but most of them start without a lot of history and end when things either hit the fan or a miracle happens, and that's it. I want to help other moms go through this. I want them to know every detail, every thought I've had, every step backwards and every step forward, because I want them to know it's okay to have those thoughts and set backs too. I want them to know me, so they trust me, and can find comfort in my words when they face this horrible situation. I wake up wanting to write now, it's really become an incredible distraction to this whole mess. I hope to make it a book one day, even if it's just for me and Robert, but maybe it will be for more.
Wow! Even in the midst of everything that you are going through you are looking at helping other women! girpipley, you are my hero right now! You have such AMAZING strength and character! I don't think that I could be going through what you are and manage to keep such an outward view. You are incredible!
Post by honeybunches101 on Jan 28, 2015 13:01:40 GMT -5
I am so sorry you are facing such an impossible choice. I hope you are able to get some clarity in the next few days and weeks and will be a peace with your decision. You and your little ones have been so strong through such a miserable experience, and I really admire your decision to write about it all to help other women. Even in your struggle you are thinking of others! Sending lots of hugs and love your way.
This is so sweet of you. I smiled at the thought of meeting face to face at a book signing.
I agree with you in so many ways. Last night I felt myself asking for nature to take its course. I didn't want to be the one to make the decision, so I just wanted my body to do it for me. So I prayed that I wouldn't have to make the decision. Then I woke up this morning to the babies moving around like crazy. I've only felt real kicks a couple of times, but today it's been non stop. It's like they are begging me to notice them. I can hear them telling me "we're still here, we're still fighting." Then I prayed for the decision to not be made for me.
I've been thinking a lot about you - like the rest of us. And your philosophy is so similar to mine. I'm not a huge pray-er, but in situations with terrible alternatives I want the choice to be made for me. And I too would wait to make a decision in the hopes I wouldn't have to. I think a lot of it is the guilt. "What if I choose wrong?" And if you're not the one making the choice, you don't have to worry about the guilt. It's preposterous, because there is no wrong choice in difficult situations. Both choices are right, they just have different outcomes. But facts don't always change the way we feel.
I'm still pulling for all of you. For you, Robert, Piper, Scott, and Miles. And the best possible outcome, no matter what that is.
I'm a little relieved you are taking a few days to decide. I had a hypothetical decision in my head last night and when I woke up today I felt totally opposite. I know thinking about it isn't the same as living it so please don't take what I said as insensitive. It's an overwhelming choice to make.
On one hand I wish nature could just take its course if you were leaning towards termination so it wouldn't have to be a decision you made. On the other hand I really really want this story to have a miraculous happy ending and we can meet face to face at a book signing for you best selling memoir of this struggle.
Either way you're an amazing woman. I'm still sending love your way and wishing for a miracle. Two miracles actually.
This is so sweet of you. I smiled at the thought of meeting face to face at a book signing.
I agree with you in so many ways. Last night I felt myself asking for nature to take its course. I didn't want to be the one to make the decision, so I just wanted my body to do it for me. So I prayed that I wouldn't have to make the decision. Then I woke up this morning to the babies moving around like crazy. I've only felt real kicks a couple of times, but today it's been non stop. It's like they are begging me to notice them. I can hear them telling me "we're still here, we're still fighting." Then I prayed for the decision to not be made for me.
I am planning on keeping my posts light and recapping the history of this journey for the next few days. I've come across plenty of blogs about pPROM and placenta abruption, but most of them start without a lot of history and end when things either hit the fan or a miracle happens, and that's it. I want to help other moms go through this. I want them to know every detail, every thought I've had, every step backwards and every step forward, because I want them to know it's okay to have those thoughts and set backs too. I want them to know me, so they trust me, and can find comfort in my words when they face this horrible situation. I wake up wanting to write now, it's really become an incredible distraction to this whole mess. I hope to make it a book one day, even if it's just for me and Robert, but maybe it will be for more.
So I'm going to be focuses on just that for the next few days. I don't want to think about decisions right now.
It had been two days since I'd read the blog. I'm so sorry for what your most recent days have meant for your family. @girlpipey you've come this far because you're strong and you're smart and you're a loving mother. You will do what's right for you and your family and either way it won't for a second diminish what those boys mean to you Piper and R. My heart is with you in your coming days... T&P
I just got caught up on the last two days of the blog. I loved reading the story about you and Robert. I love that you shared that with us. And I am so sorry for the decision you are having to face with the boys. My heart breaks for you and for them. I am praying for you and your family. I'm praying so hard for the boys. I hope that you can find peace with whatever you decide and I want you to know that I think you are so incredibly brave.
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