***GirPipley***
Jan 20, 2015 23:01:30 GMT -5
Post by billyhorrible on Jan 20, 2015 23:01:30 GMT -5
I was going to post this over on TB, but figured it'd just be easier to do it here. I know that no one here would think twice about dedicating a thread to you.
"Today, My sister was here and told me about her friend that went into labor yesterday, at 36 weeks and had a 5lb baby. She kept reiterating "a 5 lb baby!" She kept talking about how tiny a 5lb baby must be, and how scared and panicked she was for her friend. (The baby is fine, no NICU time, going home tomorrow). She's so scared for her friend while her own sister is sitting here, potentially delivering dead babies who weigh less than half a pound and are smaller than my hands.
I was so angry at her for telling me about it, and not understanding how insensitive it was. I wanted to put my hands over my ears and scream so I couldn't hear her. I would give anything to have a 5lb, 36 week baby. Anything!
Then I immediately started to feel guilty for feeling so angry. My situation does not mean that having a 5lb baby isn't scary. It doesn't mean her friend doesn't need support or prayers or reassurance. I fell horrible."
This is exactly what I was referring to in my post. You don't have to feel guilty about having feelings like this. It's okay. Of course, it wouldn't be okay to act like a bitch to the girl, or tell your sister she should suck it up, but don't get down on yourself about feeling angry. It doesn't cause her any harm and sometimes you need that release- that angry feeling, before you can move on in a healthy way.
Also- yesterday at my scan, the tech didn't give me any pictures. She didn't take a peak at their sex. She didn't talk to me. She just did he scan and told me A's fluid levels. The lady next to me was getting pictures and the tech was confirming the sex of her baby, they were talking and laughing. She was also under 20 weeks. I really just wanted to know that Miles was okay, but then when I got back to my room, I felt sad bc I didn't get any pictures. What if that was the last time I will see them alive? What if I go into labor tonight, and they die before I can get pictures of them.
I hesitate to even bring this up, but maybe it's okay. Let me start by saying you have been having lots of good reports. There is no reason to believe anything tragic or traumatic is going to happen tonight. But to address your concern, there are photographers out there who specialize in newborn photography, when the newborn doesn't make it. I'm not suggesting you will ever need this service, but know that it is there. You never have to worry about not having a picture. I've seen these pictures and they are beautiful and heartbreaking, and so much more meaningful than an ultrasound.
"Today, My sister was here and told me about her friend that went into labor yesterday, at 36 weeks and had a 5lb baby. She kept reiterating "a 5 lb baby!" She kept talking about how tiny a 5lb baby must be, and how scared and panicked she was for her friend. (The baby is fine, no NICU time, going home tomorrow). She's so scared for her friend while her own sister is sitting here, potentially delivering dead babies who weigh less than half a pound and are smaller than my hands.
I was so angry at her for telling me about it, and not understanding how insensitive it was. I wanted to put my hands over my ears and scream so I couldn't hear her. I would give anything to have a 5lb, 36 week baby. Anything!
Then I immediately started to feel guilty for feeling so angry. My situation does not mean that having a 5lb baby isn't scary. It doesn't mean her friend doesn't need support or prayers or reassurance. I fell horrible."
This is exactly what I was referring to in my post. You don't have to feel guilty about having feelings like this. It's okay. Of course, it wouldn't be okay to act like a bitch to the girl, or tell your sister she should suck it up, but don't get down on yourself about feeling angry. It doesn't cause her any harm and sometimes you need that release- that angry feeling, before you can move on in a healthy way.
Also- yesterday at my scan, the tech didn't give me any pictures. She didn't take a peak at their sex. She didn't talk to me. She just did he scan and told me A's fluid levels. The lady next to me was getting pictures and the tech was confirming the sex of her baby, they were talking and laughing. She was also under 20 weeks. I really just wanted to know that Miles was okay, but then when I got back to my room, I felt sad bc I didn't get any pictures. What if that was the last time I will see them alive? What if I go into labor tonight, and they die before I can get pictures of them.
I hesitate to even bring this up, but maybe it's okay. Let me start by saying you have been having lots of good reports. There is no reason to believe anything tragic or traumatic is going to happen tonight. But to address your concern, there are photographers out there who specialize in newborn photography, when the newborn doesn't make it. I'm not suggesting you will ever need this service, but know that it is there. You never have to worry about not having a picture. I've seen these pictures and they are beautiful and heartbreaking, and so much more meaningful than an ultrasound.