Who is doing the SAH thing?

[aggiebug]

I can't remember who is going to sah with the kiddos

If this is your second did you sah from the get go?

When did you decide to sah?

What is something that makes you nervous about being a sah parent?

Do you have a plan to go back to work in the future?

[misshart00]

I can't remember who is going to sah with the kiddos

If this is your second did you sah from the get go?
I have two kids. I quit my job one week before the big one was born.

When did you decide to sah?
I have always wanted to be a SAHM. My mom even told that to H before he proposed.

What is something that makes you nervous about being a sah parent?
Money is stressful sometimes.

Do you have a plan to go back to work in the future?
I run our company from home. It's not super busy right now. I also do direct sales and recently got a work at home position as a copy editor.

[dreemkin]

I'm gonna play even though I'm a part time SAHM. My H wants me to be full on SAH but I'm not so sure...

If this is your second did you sah from the get go?
I went part time (20hr/week) after having DD1

When did you decide to sah?
Still deciding. If DH gets a new position or raise like he's supposed to I'm going to rethink it seriously.

What is something that makes you nervous about being a sah parent?
Feeling isolated, less $ coming in, not wanting to ever go back to work.

Do you have a plan to go back to work in the future?
See above. With what i do, I think it'd be hard to get back into it (I know I would never want to).

[aggiebug]

I am. DD is my first. Dec 31st was my last day.

I have always wanted to be a SAHM but I had a lot of guilt making it hard to truly make that decision for a very long time. H was wonderful and supported my decision no matter what I decided.

Money is a big deal.

Honestly at this point I don't know. My mom was a room mom and was very present growing up and I want that for my kids but maybe in the distant future.

[aggiebug]

dreemkin what do you do?

[maryxc1]

I can't remember who is going to sah with the kiddos

If this is your second did you sah from the get go?
- I quit my job almost three years ago, two weeks before DS was born.

When did you decide to SAH?
- It is something we always thought we would do.

What is something that makes you nervous about being a sah parent?
- Not enough income and not feeling like I am accomplishing anything. I am a very task driven person.

Do you have a plan to go back to work in the future?
- I always said I would wait until both kids were in school, but may go back when DS is in school and DD is in preschool. We will see.

[mamabisme]

If this is your second did you sah from the get go?
This is my third and I have been a sahm since DD1 was born.

When did you decide to sah?
H and I decided when we were still dating that if we ever had kids I would sah.

What is something that makes you nervous about being a sah parent?
I've always feared that my sah would affect my husband's ability to retire at a reasonable age. That said, H is very smart about money (he works in finance) and is already saving for retirement. He knows what he's doing.

Do you have a plan to go back to work in the future? Maybe one day in the distant future, when all the kids are in school full-time. I'd likely only work part-time, though. It is important to us that someone be there when they get home from school.

[babycfeb2015]

If this is your second did you sah from the get go?
This is my first. Like aggiebug I stopped working at the end of December

When did you decide to sah?
Ive always planned on staying at home. I am working a few hours a week (3-4) doing personal training to get some extra spending cash

What is something that makes you nervous about being a sah parent? Mainly money. We prepared well for me to be home full time for at least a year but we want to move in the next 2 yrs and my DH is in grad school at night

Do you have a plan to go back to work in the future?
I will probably slowly ramp up my personal training clients with time

[osumegs]

If this is your second did you sah from the get go? First baby

When did you decide to sah? DH and I decided I would sah when we were dating but discussing marriage. We graduated from our Grad school program with loads of loan debt, so we spent the time between graduating and this baby living on one income and using the other to pay all that off. This was the ultimate goal.

What is something that makes you nervous about being a sah parent? Isolation mainly

Do you have a plan to go back to work in the future? I am staying on as a contingent employee. I will be picking up random weekend shifts when dh is off (a few every 12 weeks) just to stay active and keep a door open.

[hollydfromtn]

If this is your second did you sah from the get go? DS is my first.

When did you decide to sah? We made the decision to move to DH's hometown after we found out I was pregnant. I had a couple of teaching interviews after the move but nothing panned out with those. We decided at that point that I would work part time up until delivery and then SAH after that.

What is something that makes you nervous about being a sah parent? I'm nervous about the money of course but also being a good SAHW. I've never been the homemaker type, so I'm having to learn to cook while taking care of a baby. DH has been really helpful and supportive while I figure things out though.


Do you have a plan to go back to work in the future? I would like to have DS start daycare/preschool around the age of 2 for the social interactions.

[ace226]

If this is your second did you sah from the get go?
N/A

When did you decide to sah?
When we started to TTC. My dad stayed at home with me and I loved it and I want that for my kids!

What is something that makes you nervous about being a sah parent?
I really crave external validation and it's something I'll have to get over in this line of work. Especially living in Utah where it's easy to be typecast as a soccer mom who lives in a bubble and knows nothing... When that's not the case at all.

Do you have a plan to go back to work in the future?
It's uncertain. I loved my field of work before and had dreams of law school or law enforcement in general, but it just doesn't feel right to have both parents in law enforcement right now; too unsteady. I've seen people who've totally made it work, it just doesn't necessarily feel right for us.

[dacora]

If this is your second did you sah from the get go? This is my first.

When did you decide to sah? We decided a few months into my pregnancy. At first we didn't think I'd be able to stay home, but DH surprised me by letting me know I would be able to after he looked at our finances and budget.

What is something that makes you nervous about being a sah parent? We're okay financially, but any emergencies might screw us up pretty easily.

Do you have a plan to go back to work in the future? After DD is in school I'll start working part time. I didn't have any sort of career before, so I'm not sure where I'll be working in a few years.

[dreemkin]

Apr 16, 2015 10:20:45 GMT -5 aggiebug said:

dreemkin what do you do?

I am a clinical lab scientist and the medical field is constantly changing (especially in microbiology where I currently work). Even with keeping my certification up, I think it'd be hard to jump back into when you are away for so long.

[osumegs]

dreemkin I'm in the same boat. It is hard staying up on things.

[cginge]

-FTM here; staying at home for now and likely for a while.

When did you decide to sah?
-We always planned on me staying at home but this pregnancy happened sooner than expected (by a couple years). After we determined that we could afford for me to stay at home, we decided that this arrangement would work out best for our family (we both had time-demanding/stressful/not able to leave at a moment's notice type jobs).

What is something that makes you nervous about being a sah parent?
-Judgement of others. I worked hard for a law degree and left a great job/great office to SAH. I have no regrets but I'm sure others judged my decision outside of my presence since I left while on an upward swing. I got pregnant on my honeymoon and some of the males in my office made comments (before I let them know I pregnant) about how I was going to sell out and be a baby-machine.

Do you have a plan to go back to work in the future?
-I doubt I will be able to go back to my former field due to time demands but I eventually plan to start practicing again. We would (hopefully) like more kids soon-ish so I might wait until we figure that part of our future out before committing to anything long/full-term.

[mamabisme]

For those of you concerned about isolation, may I suggest looking in to baby-friendly activities? Our LO's are all getting old enough that they can stay awake for story time at your local library, mommy and me yoga, mom's bible studies or whatever else it is that you're in to. If all else fails, look in to mom's groups (you can usually find something on meetup.com). When DD1 was a baby I would take her to a story time at my local library specifically geared to babies under 18 months. I met 4 other lovely ladies there that had babies within a few months of DD and we started hanging out. At first we would all just pack lunches and eat and talk at the park by the library after story time. That graduated in to weekly play dates at eachother's houses. Now, 5 years later, we may not be as active (kids are all in school) but we are all still in touch and get together from time to time. Our kids are all still friends and most of us had a second batch of babies that are all around the same age and are friends, as well. So far, I'm the only one to have a third. Looks like I need to get out there and do the whole thing over again. My point is, this sahm gig can be a whole lot of fun but you've got to get out there and make connections!

[aggiebug]

Apr 16, 2015 14:16:44 GMT -5 cginge said:

-Judgement of others. I worked hard for a law degree and left a great job/great office to SAH. I have no regrets but I'm sure others judged my decision outside of my presence since I left while on an upward swing. I got pregnant on my honeymoon and some of the males in my office made comments (before I let them know I pregnant) about how I was going to sell out and be a baby-machine.

Oh my gosh. Yes! I think a large source of my guilt is professional. I am a veterinarian and the comments I heard before I was even pregnant were unbelievable. This was before I had even decided I would sah. Most of my professional acquaintances don't know I sah and I doubt they will unless they specifically ask. I feel like I am much more likely to avoid the topic with them because of the judgement.

dreemkin I hear you the same goes for my profession. I try to stay in the loop professionally but it us still different.

[xoxolicia]

If this is your second did you sah from the get go?
First baby. I worked until I went into labor.

When did you decide to sah?
I wanted to stay home, but we couldn't afford it. I got sick the week before I was supposed to go back to work.

What is something that makes you nervous about being a sah parent?
Being really sick and home alone with a newborn.

Do you have a plan to go back to work in the future?
My doctor said I should expect to be out for at least a year, but will re-evaluate in 6 months.

[osumegs]

aggiebug and cginge I fear the same thing. Most of my negative feedback has been surprisingly from women my mom's age or older that were sahm. The why waste a degree comments are my least favorite. I like knowing I have a career to fall back on if dh can't work down the road for whatever reason.

[osumegs]

mamabisme Those are some great suggestions. Lap time at our library has actually been a great activity so far, but some of the other ones I havent looked into yet. Thanks!

[misshart00]

Im still paying my student loans and I'm a SAHM. I didn't have a ton to begin with, but we discussed this a lot before we got married.

[mamabisme]

Apr 16, 2015 18:35:47 GMT -5 osumegs said:

mamabisme Those are some great suggestions. Lap time at our library has actually been a great activity so far, but some of the other ones I havent looked into yet. Thanks!

I'm really looking forward to getting to some baby activities with DS! Right now, DD2 is home with me too and most of what we do is stuff for her age group. Once she starts school, in August, I will definitely be looking in to baby activities!

[RedGiant]

If this is your second did you sah from the get go? Yes. I actually took a voluntary layoff from my old job and then on my second to last day found out I was pregnant.

When did you decide to sah? DH and I had discussed and decided that one of us would stay home with the kids well before we even started trying to get pregnant.

What is something that makes you nervous about being a sah parent? If I will be able to properly socialize and educate both kids and keep it fun while keeping up with the housework.

Do you have a plan to go back to work in the future? I think once they are in school I'd like to do some part time work. Not sure if I'll go back to engineering (worked at defense contractor) or do something completely different.

[lilyelayne]

I'm theoretically going to work PRN beginning in July, but I wouldn't be surprised if I'm totally SAH by the end of the year.

When did you decide to sah?
I was in college when I realized I really wanted to SAH when I had kids. DH and I talked about it before we were engaged. It's a surprise that I'm even trying PRN work, but I love my job (clinical research coordinator) and DH was really nervous about being the sole financial provider. He was nervous about becoming a dad; we postponed TTC a couple times as we worked out what was causing his anxiety and addressing what we could, like me agreeing to work PRN or part time. We have plenty of lifestyle changes we could make if we need to.

What is something that makes you nervous about being a sah parent? I'm worried about running out of interesting conversations to have with DH. I love being a mom and especially a SAHM but I don't want that to be my only identity.

Do you have a plan to go back to work in the future? I don't imagine I'll ever go back to full time work.

[toadandbuggie]

Can I play even though I'm still undecided?

If this is your second did you sah from the get go? First, but I always wanted to be able to SAH.

When did you decide to sah? I thought that after I had my babe that I would instantly know. Nope. It's hard to imagine going back to work right now when LO is still waking up 3 times a night to eat. I took leave until September, although I told my coworkers I was aiming for June to come back. I'm thinking to make a decision by May.

What is something that makes you nervous about being a sah parent? Being out of the work force for too long and not being able to get back in once the kid(s?) are in school. Relying on my H for money - we've never combined finances. Scared that will cause fights. Feeling lonely.

Do you have a plan to go back to work in the future? I would definitely be doing something once my kid(s?) are in school.