when did you tell your job...

[nobb14]

... That you started the adoption or foster process?

Trying to channel the most optimism possible, I will let myself believe my agency saying the chances are "great" for us to have a successful match within 12 months. However, my confusion is this: without a traditional 9 month pregnancy and having an unknown window with the adoption process, how the hell do I keep my job in the loop?

It's fairly easy to keep things on the DL now since our homestudy isn't yet complete, but it's still possible we would be matched with an expectant mother due in the fall or winter--- and once the homestudy is finished we did agree to immediate placement. Complicating things is the fact that I plan on quitting to be a SAHM so I'm not necessarily worried about FMLA--- but that doesn't mean I want to screw my job over and quit the second we get the call, since so much can change in this process.

Any insight? Thank you in advance!

[gnomesweetgnome]

I told my job when we were homestudy approved. I also let them k ow I was planning to quit to SAH, and that I would give them as much notice as possible. We had one meeting with an EM, and I told them about that. We didn't match with her, but two weeks later we got a call about a baby already born, so they had about 14 hours' notice that I was quitting. There were no hard feelings or anything, but I was also in a position that is far from irreplaceable.

[drl]

I told them once we went active. Our wait was 3.5 months, and DD was already born, so I left the day after we got the call.

I planned to SAH, but at the end of my ML, my boss was going out on paternity leave. So I offered to come back for a month to fill the gap, then stay home. It worked out beautifully. But I work in a very family friendly environment

[theatrepal]

I told my boss after we were homestudy approved. At that time, I told him I would take 12 weeks off and would let him know as soon as we heard something. My huge Fortune 100 company totally didn't get it. I was told to fill out the maternity leave paperwork 60 days early. I had to explain they may not be possible. Moral of my story, have the discussion on a day when you're ready to educate and be patient!!

[roxy]

Fortunately my direct manager happens to be one of my closest friends and was a wrote a reference letter for us. So my work has pretty well known from day 1. She let our plans slip out (accidentally) to the owners of the company just before we were homestudy approved. Thankfully I'm not the first one in the company to adopt, so they were/are supper supportive of our time frames.

We will not have an immediate placement once we get matched so it will be much easier for me to plan for maternity leave.

Good luck to you!

[browneyes8]

We needed to have references from our employers so we told our jobs during the home study process.

[pinkie]

We told when we were actively waiting with an agency. I told my supervisor as soon as we accepted a match, with the understanding it may not happen. Our first match didn't work out but I did the same with our second match (ds1) and third match (ds2). Everyone used discretion and told me how much they appreciated my honesty with them. Everyone was super supportive...they even threw me a shower after we got home with DS1

[chicago]

Similar to most others ... I told my boss and HR lead once we were waiting. I told them how much time I planned to take off. I told that it could happen at any time and the amount of lead time varies. They all took it well and wished me luck.
I haven't thought about when I tell them ... It might depend on how far the expectant mother is into the pregnancy.

[nobb14]

Thanks all, this is all great info!

[packerfan4life]

I told my work when we were home study approved. I work in a field where if I can't work someone needs to cover for me, so I wanted them to be prepared if we got a match with short notice (which happened - we had a 4 day match before she was born)

[jwinct]

I had to tell my job as soon as we found out that we were invited to start the classes, because I would have to leave work early every Monday for many weeks. I spoke to our HR person and our company president well before that, though, so that I could give them a heads-up that we were doing this. It's a small, family-owned company, so I knew I am not covered under FMLA, so I wanted to know what I would be able to take off, unpaid, without losing my job.