Travel - when DH should cut off travel

[murrt]

Hi ladies,

DH's cousin (who he is very close with) is getting married in Scotland in mid-November. I'm due Dec. 1.

I'd love to tell him to go to the wedding, his family from Ireland (where his cousin is originally from) all traveled here for our wedding, and this particular cousin he grew up with every summer in Ireland from when they were little all the way through high school. He's more like a little brother to DH than a cousin. But, I'm worried about him traveling so close to the due date (within two weeks).

I definitely want him here for the birth. And he wants to be here.

What would you do?

[expatmama11]

Can you book a refundable ticket? I would say plan on him going but know that it could change based on how you are at the time he needs to leave. Hopefully his cousin would understand that.

[murrt]

I guess we could try that but it also involves hotel too.

[expatmama11]

Apr 18, 2015 10:29:09 GMT -5 murrt said:

I guess we could try that but it also involves hotel too.

Most hotels have cancellation with at least 24hr notice. 

I wouldn't book a trip that close without being able to get a refund. With that said, I would do my best to make it work if I could. 

[jtizzay]

Ya I wouldn't. But that's me. W the first I would have been too nervous. Plus I needed help getting my boots on

[spidermonkeymama]

I had a cutoff for my husband @36w for his work travel. I don't think I'd feel comfortable having him out of the country after that time period.

[PaperRing]

Apr 18, 2015 11:56:49 GMT -5 spidermonkeymama said:

I had a cutoff for my husband @36w for his work travel. I don't think I'd feel comfortable having him out of the country after that time period.

I agree with this. Especially since it's international, I wouldn't be comfortable with it being so close.

[kamek]

I also think cut off around the 36 week mark, possibly even sooner for international travel.  Def no way I'd feel comfortable with my husband traveling internationally 2 weeks before my due date.

[kamek]

Also, I would hope that your husbands cousin (and SO) would be understanding if you guys choose for him to stay home. If it was my wedding, I wouldn't even expect a pregnant guest/her spouse to attend so close to due date, no matter the distance.

[booklover811]

My H is going on a hunting trip in Wyoming with his best friend this fall and I told him he had to go early in October and no later. I want him here in case something happens. I will be 31 weeks. He was totally fine with that.

[anonymouseliza]

I wouldn't be ok with out of country (or more than 4 hours total travel time) after 36 weeks. Though if it were 36w and not 38w I might live with it. But as much as it sucks, I would not be ok with that. I know you'll probably go late if he doesn't go, but it feels like asking for fate to intervene if he does.

I missed my brother's wedding due to travel restrictions last pregnancy. He got married in Puerto Rico (my SIL is Puerto Rican) two weeks after my cerclage was placed. I missed seeing the wedding and a bunch of family, but I couldn't fly that far. Sucks, but everyone understood.

[manderslvt]

Yeah, I'm with everyone else...I wouldn't be comfortable with DH traveling after 36 weeks.

[lovegrilledcheese]

I'm a FTM and am anxious as hell. I have already told DH he can't go out of town after 34 weeks. I want him here in case I go early or something happens.

[ellewills618]

Can he go earlier to say hello to everyone and spend time but miss the wedding? It sucks but I wouldn't be comfortable with international travel that close to my due date. I went 5 weeks early with DS and couldn't imagine doing the freaking out/driving/laboring without him.

[Unknown]

I would say stay. My LO was two weeks early and I had no inclination labor was coming (I.e. 0 CM not effaced the same day my water broke).

[bugsy54]

I would say stay. Good luck with the decision!

[junkytrunk]

I would make him stay. My H had a trip planned a month before my due date with #1 and he came 5 weeks early. My water broke, so it wasn't expected. He was in the nicu for 5 days and my H went on the trip 2 days after we brought him home. You never know what could happen.

[murrt]

Thanks everybody. I think I'm leaning toward him not going. We just saw the bulk of his family from there about a month ago - including the mother and father of the groom, so I don't think him going out there early Ito say hello really works for us. I'm sad to feel like I'm taking this away from him, but I know his family will be very understanding, and excited for the baby that's coming.

[anonymouseliza]

It's a shitty feeling. But you aren't taking away from him! You aren't telling him unreasonably he's not allowed to see his family. Presumably he wants to be there for the birth and first few days of his child's life too! There is just no predictability - one of my friends went into spontaneous labor at 36w with her first. They weren't ready at all, expecting that she'd go late in her first pregnancy. You just have no way of knowing, and the safest play is to be home.

[hollandmama]

If I were you I'd tell him to book last-minute and wait and see... you'll get the idea of how your pregnancy is progressing, if it's not high-risk and you're feeling well then I'd just let him go because first pregnancies tend to be longer than 40 weeks anyways

November is low season in Europe so I think it'd be easy to find tickets and hotel last minute.