Talking to young children about divorce

[arb213]

So, I've been divorced a year and a half now and my DD (age 5) asked me "I wonder why daddy wanted a new wife" (my XH re-married and now has a child with her). I was at a loss for words and wish I had a child friendly version to tell her. The truth is he cheated but obviously I am not going to tell my 5 y/o that. He's still her father no matter what a douche he may be. What do you guys tell your children about divorce?

[freezorburn]

I've been looking for advice on how to handle this, too. MH has been having an affair since the holidays and is convinced she is the love of his life, so we are now separated for all intents and purposes, and will probably start the divorce process later this year, once DS and I have been home long enough to re-establish our residency. I understand the whole process can take a while, so DS will probably be close to 5 by the time we've worked out our terms and filed everything.

The only thing I've been able to find is an old Mr. Rogers episode. He talks about how sometimes children think it's their fault and parents need to reassure them that it's not, that it's a sad thing but we can talk about it, and it's a decision between grownups. I found a book, too. DS isn't ready for it but maybe it will help when he starts to have questions.

Here's the episode -- the discussion about divorce starts about 10:50. The topic is introduced and then Mr. Rogers talks about it a little, then it goes into a Neighborhood of Make Believe plot, which continues through a few more episodes.



Here's the Amazon page for the book
www.amazon.com/Lets-Talk-About-Divorce-Rogers/dp/0698116704/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1429516909&sr=1-1&keywords=mr+rogers+divorce

It also looks like Amazon has a few suggestions too, if you scroll down.

For the moment, DS keeps asking where Dad is, and I tell him he's still abroad, working hard. Which is true. It kinda sucks that I can't really tell him that Dad doesn't want to be with us anymore. Because that's the real truth, but I feel like I'm covering up for him and that minimizes the consequences of his actions. Really burns me up. But I feel like all I can do is take the high road.