MH knows a lot I supposed. We both like science and he isn't home every month. He has been great and trying to plan his training and Visa stuff around future FW. He even has the Fertility Friend app on his phone to double check when his back to back requests a change in rotation.
EDIT: Sorry, by saying he was a keeper it was implied that there was something not normal (aka weird) about a husband staying in the room for an internal. I was just trying to understand for the love of pete, I wrote "genuine question" which clearly states that I was NOT being snarky. I have no idea why you took such offense to this question.
EDIT EDIT: and yes, I'm freaking dropping this now because this entire blow up is pissing me off.
I don't know if this is the case for their H's but mine was weirded out by the internal ultrasound the first time. I think it has to do with what was expected. Most movies/pictures of ultrasounds are external so when the tech pulled out the wand and lubed it up his eyes got huge. Now its no big deal. I never thought to warn him because I'd been through it before with my previous pregnancies.
Post by housecarder on Apr 20, 2015 15:35:45 GMT -5
To the original question, he didn't know anything before TTC but has been very open to learn. We watched the Great Sperm Race together and anytime I say anything like "my temp went up/down" he asks what that means. I think it's helped a lot with his anxiety about not conceiving right away.
Post by awkwardturtle on Apr 20, 2015 15:38:13 GMT -5
MH knows I temp and chart. I've shown him my chart a few times and he thinks it's really cool. I have also explained when we would need to have sex in relation to ovulation, as well as how long sperm live and an egg lives.
I do not tell him when I'm in my fertile window, I do let him know when I have confirmed ovulation. This is mainly because I am trying to understand my cycles since going off of depo. He doesn't seem worried about us being in cycle 8 since he knows it can take a while after the depo shot to conceive. I did notice a hint of sadness in his eyes when my cousin announced her pregnancy, so that made me a little sad.
Post by mlgnumbers on Apr 20, 2015 15:38:25 GMT -5
He knows when I'm having my period. That's about it. I mean, he knows that I temp and use OPKs, but he has no idea why or exactly how it all works...and he doesn't care to know. We have a pretty healthy/consistent sex life, so I don't worry too much about timing. We are bound to hit 2+ days in the FW, so I don't even worry about trying to seduce him at the right time or anything.
He knows more now, because he asks questions so I answer them. There are no performance issues, but he's the kind that wants to have sex every day anyway, so it's not usually a big deal. I didn't make a big deal out of anything when I started, but I didn't/don't try to hide temping or OPKs when I was doing them and he was interested to know more details. He thinks he "can tell when I'm ovulating" which I always find hilarious.
Mine wasn't allowed, so that would have been weird.
Okay, that's one thing.
But, the earlier post made it sound like staying was this huge grand gesture. I guess I don't get it. But, then - I don't get a lot of things.
For me it was a big deal because he's pretty squeamish about everything else in life. (cat poop/puke, needles, blood, talking about bodily fluids in general) He also had to hold my leg steady during it because I have really weird leg spasms in one leg. So I appreciated that he didn't think twice about it.
ETA: I didn't fully read the rest of the thread until after I posted. Just wanted to clarify things from my end. Not knowing how out of character this was for MH definitely makes a difference when looking at this story from someone else perspective. *i'm exhausted today, I hope that last sentence made sense.
I usually just tell mine.... "This is your week!" and I let him take it from there. Then starting a week later he will start bugging me if "I know anything yet". He is pretty clueless, but doesn't want to know more. Says it puts too much pressure.
This is us, but I don't tell him it's his week. I just start initiating more. He doesn't want the pressure, but from time to time he will ask if I have anything to tell him. I avoided temping for awhile because I didn't want to wake him up when my bbt beeped--it isn't silent. Now, I want to know what's going on in my cycle, so he can deal with the beeping. He mostly ignores it.
joy MH is my personal internal ultrasound king. He's a keeper for that reason.
H cared about all the "science" behind it in the beginning. It's been so long since he's really asked about anything that I'm sure he doesn't care anymore.
Post by TheEleventhHour on Apr 20, 2015 17:24:47 GMT -5
We are currently TTA so my FW hasn't mattered yet but he knows I started to temp and when he asks questions I answer. He thinks it is pretty cool basal temps shift around O.
Post by notthedroids on Apr 20, 2015 18:04:11 GMT -5
H knows about temping (to an extent, not sure I would recommend him to analyze charts). He usually knows when it's my fertile week. He is an engineer so he loves numbers and percentages and will study FF, though I'm not sure he's 100% sure what he's looking at. During the TWW I always get "so what's the percent accuracy if you tested today?" I love my little nerd.
H only understood the very basics for the first while, then around six months in I convinced him to watch The Great Sperm Race. Since we EOD shortly after AF leaves until after I get CHs he has a good idea about my FW. He also asks about my temp and my CHs.
H knows about temping (to an extent, not sure I would recommend him to analyze charts). He usually knows when it's my fertile week. He is an engineer so he loves numbers and percentages and will study FF, though I'm not sure he's 100% sure what he's looking at. During the TWW I always get "so what's the percent accuracy if you tested today?" I love my little nerd.
My engineer husband like to study my chart too, but I don't think he gets the concept. Last year he copied all of my data into Excel because he wanted to see the data represented in different ways. (I don't know what he accomplished with that, but he seemed pleased with his results).
I feel like it's a catch 22 for me and MH. I talk about it because I feel like he needs to know that there are certain times sex will result in pregnancy, otherwise he may think sex at cycle day 8 is enough (he can't stand when it feels forced). But if I talk about it too much then he definitely gets a bit of performance anxiety. Since 8 cycles have passed he definitely knows more and wants to know more than he did in the beginning. When we started he had the attitude of "chill out, it will happen when it will happen" but I try and keep quiet when my FW rolls around and subtly stalk him like a "cat in heat"!! (to quote kellybenelly83)
rablissful, I wish my DH would go for "I'm fertile let's do it". I feel like I have to give him a nice little whiskey ginger if I want to do it two days in a row (because that's how he knows I mean business)
pbandj714, omg sex calendar ...I'm using that, that's great
edited because I apparently can't spell at all. There are probably more errors..my apologies in advance- I started the wine early.
H knows about temping (to an extent, not sure I would recommend him to analyze charts). He usually knows when it's my fertile week. He is an engineer so he loves numbers and percentages and will study FF, though I'm not sure he's 100% sure what he's looking at. During the TWW I always get "so what's the percent accuracy if you tested today?" I love my little nerd.
My engineer husband like to study my chart too, but I don't think he gets the concept. Last year he copied all of my data into Excel because he wanted to see the data represented in different ways. (I don't know what he accomplished with that, but he seemed pleased with his results).
haha! omg, that is hysterical! My husband is in business, but LOVES everything about excel and will make any excuse to use it. I'm probably not suggesting inputting my fertile data though
My engineer husband like to study my chart too, but I don't think he gets the concept. Last year he copied all of my data into Excel because he wanted to see the data represented in different ways. (I don't know what he accomplished with that, but he seemed pleased with his results).
haha! omg, that is hysterical! My husband is in business, but LOVES everything about excel and will make any excuse to use it. I'm probably not suggesting inputting my fertile data though
In case you were wondering, there is not way to export data from FF, so it has to be manually transferred. I sent a feature request to FF to add an Exporting option, but I don't think they took my suggestion.
Well, apparently DH knows less than I thought. He just said "are you SURE you're not knocked up?" I had to explain that if you're pregnant enough for symptoms, you're pregnant enough to turn a test. The test was negative, therefore the symptoms I'm having are not pregnancy related.
My husband knows everything I do. I mean, I don't share my temps with him every morning, or anything, but he knows that I temp, understands why, and gets that a thermal shift means I've ovulated. He knows when I'm in my FW. He knows what a positive OPK looks like, and he's on board with the sex schedule (obviously). He knows as soon as I know my period is coming, and once or twice he's talked me out of testing too early (because he also knows what "too early" is). He keeps track of my cycle with some sort of app on his phone, too.
We don't talk about it often or anything, but he's fully informed, because he wants to be. We both like it that way.
Post by brettanomyces on Apr 20, 2015 20:00:36 GMT -5
He knows a lot of the things, but we're at the point we've been trying for so long and are now seeing an RE for treatment. I don't tell him about every single temp or pee stick, but I keep him informed about what's going on.
My FW is obvious, because we keep Jewish family purity laws, so our entire physical relationship revolves around my cycle.
Everything I know, he knows. Mostly because I'm a talker and I have no filter. I bring him OPKs like "does this look darker than yesterday?" I show him charts and say things like "Look at this! Check out this temp rise!" Then of course, he says what does it mean and I give him the full length twenty minute explanation. After over a year of trying, he's more educated on women's reproductive cycles than most women!
This is how it is with MH too! He's really good at looking at OPKs!
Post by singingsea on Apr 20, 2015 21:13:47 GMT -5
We got lucky with DS and conceived him on my second cycle. This time around is the first time I've charted and used OPKs. I'm not temping yet but I will probably start soon (currently on cycle 6). I kind of have an idea when my fertile week is. H doesn't want to know details. So I stopped telling him but I think he can tell when I regularly jump his bones a couple days in a row
I share everything that is going on in the TTC journey with MH. He does not get to attend appointments unless absolutely necessary, so I always make it a point to explain everything that went on so he's in the loop. He often asks questions and I do my best to answer them, but is already fairly knowledgeable about the female reproductive cycle from work related cases. He is a very factual person, so needs the data to justify that our plans for each cycle are feasible and appropriate.
I also tell him when I am close to ovulating and about the benefits of temping, OPKs, and checking CM. He doesn't read too much into it and it does not cause him any stress that would impact performance. He actually prefers to know so he can be mentally and physically up for sex since he works so much. I guess I am an over-sharer, but he hasn't stopped me yet
Post by kayladawn91 on Apr 20, 2015 21:24:26 GMT -5
DH knows that I temp and have a chart. Other than that, he doesn't really know much. If I mention something about my temp going up or down, he'll ask what that means but he doesn't ask questions on his own. He's indifferent to the whole thing, but understands that I like to be in the know with my body.
Mine basically knows he has to put the stick in the hole. It's only our 2nd cycle, and for him it's more like NTNP. I temp and chart, but I always get up before him (and my dog wakes me up to get in bed within 30 mins of the same time every morning, which works out well for temping) so while he may have an idea, he hasn't asked about it. I've dropped tidbits of info (it could take a year, 20% chance, etc) but if he thought we were actively trying, his anxiety is so bad that he would already be freaking out that I'm not KU. The chart is more for my sanity, my sex drive seems to increase naturally around the FW, but last month we barely caught it because he was worn out from work. When he asks, I'll explain, so far, he's just happy about the "NP" part of NTNP.
Mine basically knows he has to put the stick in the hole. It's only our 2nd cycle, and for him it's more like NTNP. I temp and chart, but I always get up before him (and my dog wakes me up to get in bed within 30 mins of the same time every morning, which works out well for temping) so while he may have an idea, he hasn't asked about it. I've dropped tidbits of info (it could take a year, 20% chance, etc) but if he thought we were actively trying, his anxiety is so bad that he would already be freaking out that I'm not KU. The chart is more for my sanity, my sex drive seems to increase naturally around the FW, but last month we barely caught it because he was worn out from work. When he asks, I'll explain, so far, he's just happy about the "NP" part of NTNP.
That's pretty much exactly how we are. Except for the stressing part. DH isn't all that excited about TTC. He'll be very involved once we have an actual baby, but until then, he doesn't care at all.
Post by dashforcashfan on Apr 22, 2015 15:27:02 GMT -5
He doesn't know enough and doesn't want to, we recently decided to start TTA but he says he doesn't always have to use a condom because if 6 months of us trying didn't get me pregnant than I must have fertility problems
He doesn't know enough and doesn't want to, we recently decided to start TTA but he says he doesn't always have to use a condom because if 6 months of us trying didn't get me pregnant than I must have fertility problems
After I answered this, I decided to show DH my chart. He thought it was pretty cool, and today he reminded me when I almost forgot about temping. I still don't plan to tell him when it is my FW, because of the pressure, but it's nice that he knows a little bit more.
He doesn't know enough and doesn't want to, we recently decided to start TTA but he says he doesn't always have to use a condom because if 6 months of us trying didn't get me pregnant than I must have fertility problems
This is not true.
I know, but he doesn't listen to reason. I have an appointment to begin birth control due to his "theory".
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