M14 SAHM check in?

[nattybumppo]

I don't even know how many SAHM are in M14 but I've been having a rough go at SAH life lately and wondered if other SAHMs here would like a check in?

(1) Intro w/ LO(s).  Planning on more?  Done?  Who knows?

(2) Do you have a SAHM timeline (ex - looking for work now.  will go back when they are in school.  SAHM for life!)

(3) Current challenge related to SAH

[nattybumppo]

(1) 2 LOs - DD1 born 11/2011, DD2 born 4/2014. We are 99% sure we are done.

(2) I have no idea when I'll go back to work. I didn't know if I would want to SAH or not until after DD1 was born (I went on mat leave thinking I'd come back, but nope). Some days I miss work a lot, but b/c of DH's job and other stuff, I'm not sure if I'm ready to go back yet.

(3) Challenge: Taking care of myself. Specifically, I'd love to go to the doctor (regular doctor for a check up, dermatologist for a check up, eye doctor for new glasses), but I hate to coordinate with DH to come/stay home to watch the kids (coordinate around meetings, etc) and I don't have a babysitter. (DH is actually okay with doing it, but the stress of coordinating when he can watch the kids and when appts are available is just a pain and stressful enough that I just keep putting it off.) I hate the hassle of trying to do things for me during business hours.

[younglove316]

I'm cool with a check in on here!

1) We have 1 LO currently, DD is almost 14 months and our second one is due November 20th. We will be done after the 2nd

2) I'm not sure how long I want to stay home. Honestly I'm thinking when the next one is about a year or so I may start looking for something part time. The plan is though for me to be mainly home until the kids start school.

3) My biggest struggle is keeping her occupied all day! She's not walking yet so I feel that somewhat limits us in activity and I get bored just sitting around. She's a quick little crawler though and wants to get into everything!

My other struggle is with myself. I graduated in May 2013 after what seemed like forever, I was on the 5 year plan. I've yet to work a day in my field so I'm almost feeling like I wasted my time getting a degree because by the time I'm ready for a career I will have been out of school too long.

[katka512]

I would love to have a check in!
1) We have one LO. We're hoping for 1 or 2 more.
2) I would like to be a SAHM as long as possible/practical. I truly love it and think this is what I'm supposed to do. When it's no longer what's right for our family or when I'm not needed at home, then I'll start looking for work.
3) There are so many activities in my town that I want to do with LO, but they are almost all at 9:30 or 10 am. She naps at 9:30. I'm looking forward to her going down to one midday nap so we can go out for longer periods at one time.

nattybumppo, I hear you on the difficulty scheduling appointments. It's so much harder now to get to the doctor than it was when I was working. I bring LO to everything I can - I won't bring her to the dentist or eye doctor though. But I can see how that would be much more difficult with two kids!

[ang32]

Id be interested!

(1) Intro w/ LO(s). Planning on more? Done? Who knows? Baby girl is almost 13 months. We want a couple more, spaced around 2 yrs apart. Working on #2 right now.

(2) Do you have a SAHM timeline (ex - looking for work now. will go back when they are in school. SAHM for life!) Once all my kids are in school, I'll return to work. I have a teaching license but I think I accidentally let it expire. Smart one!

(3) Current challenge related to SAH: I absolutely love being home with my daughter and witnessing all her firsts and just seeing her learn and grow every single day. She's so inquisitive and I try to get her out of the house to show her the world on a daily basis, even if just for a walk, which is nice because the weather is finally getting nicer. I would say the biggest challenge is lack of exercise for me. Working out has always been a challenge for me. By the time DH gets home I'm pretty exhausted. Plus, I like to hang out as a family when he's home. But I know the importance of working out so I need to try my best to fit that in. I've been thinking about going jogging with her. I was going to go today but I smacked my head in the door and have had a headache since. Wah. Excuses, excuses!

[Deleted]

1. DS born 2002, DD born 2014, pregnant now - due November 2015.....after this next baby we are planning on having 2 more. So bring on all the babies!!!

2. I plan to SAH indefinitely. I'm currently homeschooling my son and I plan to do the same with the rest of our kids. If I did work it would be online teaching at a college. I wouldn't mind teaching on campus but my H's schedule is always changing so it would be difficult to juggle the kids.

3. My current challenge is getting out an about enough. This winter was really rough bc it snowed so much and was so bitter cold I couldn't really leave the house much. I was going insane.

[katka512]

ang32 do you have a ymca near you? Mine has free child care while I work out, so I can go during the day.
Other gyms in your area may have child care too!

[sanibel21]

I would like to try to do this check in! With LO being so active and interactive, I've been having a hard time keeping up with the board in general though! I work just 5 hours most Fridays from my moms house so I hope I still qualify!
1. 1 LO, she turned a year old two weeks ago. We want at least one more.
2. At most, I will stay home until all kids are in school. This really wasn't the plan, but I just couldn't go back after my maternity leave. We reevaluate our finances every couple months, and I've been able to stay home this long. LO is very attached now, and I worry about separating from her now for daycare, etc. And its hard to time starting a new job and a new daycare especially when the good daycares have wait lists.
3. I get lonely easily, despite doing many playgroups and trying to make many plans. I also have a hard time not feeling like I'm failing constantly between her fussy times, temper tantrums, clinginess, etc. I'm with her the most and I feel like if she's not happy, its all on me. Even though logically I know babies act like this.

[fish8412]

This check in sounds great!
(1) LO is 13.5 months. We want one or two more.

(2) Do you have a SAHM timeline (ex - looking for work now. will go back when they are in school. SAHM for life!)
Will go back to work when we are done having kids and the youngest is at least 1 year. Right now I sub here and there and my mom babysits.

(3) Current challenge related to SAH
Like others have said, working out. I used to be very athletic (triathlons, half marathons) and now I'm lucky to fit in a 10-20 minute workout. I try to do that during nap time but I usually end up cleaning the kitchen or taking a shower. I refuse to workout when my husband gets home from work, because I really love family time from around 430 to LOs bedtime. I nurse her to sleep at around 7. It is hard to find the motivation to workout then because all I want to do is eat dinner and put my feet up.

[fish8412]

younglove316 Do you have friends in your field? Do you need to maintain any certifications/licenses in your field?

[orriskitten]

I'll be a part of a check in!

1. I have 2 LOs. Mel is a 4/2012 baby and Thorinn is my 3/2014 baby. I want at least one more, maybe 2 once the first 2 are in school and more independent.

2. No real timeline in terms of SAH. I am planning on starting university in 2016. The MA program I want is only in Icelandic, so I'll first be going back to get a BA in Icelandic as a second language. In the meantime, I'm hoping to take some evening learning classes. It's a long plan, but it's what I've got. Thorinn will hopefully start preschool sometime next winter (they accept kids from 18 months here, but it all comes down to the waiting list. Older kids get priority so it's not a static list). Then I can probably take some morning classes.

3. Summer vacation has me nervous. Mel will have a month off and it's overwhelming having them both. I know T will likely be walking by then, thus making it easier, but for now keeping them both entertained and not crying or screaming is hard. I'm also struggling with the time waiting until I can go back to school. I've been SAH for 3 years now and want to contribute in other ways and be more than just mommy 24/7. I know it'll come, but all my patience goes towards the kids so I suck at waiting

[younglove316]

sanibel21 I could have written your last paragraph myself! We do a few things a week but it seems the days we are at home all day u get lonely. I'm hoping once she's older and doing more and talking it won't be like that

fish8412 no to both. My field is social services though so I feel like I need to do something to stay relevant and up to date. After this next one is born my plan is try and find something just part time so I can get my foot in the door and some experience on my resume.

[ang32]

katka512 There are, but I'm afraid of the germs lurking at the childcare at my local gym!

[sanibel21]

Apr 21, 2015 7:09:42 GMT -5 younglove316 said:

sanibel21 I could have written your last paragraph myself! We do a few things a week but it seems the days we are at home all day u get lonely. I'm hoping once she's older and doing more and talking it won't be like that

fish8412 no to both. My field is social services though so I feel like I need to do something to stay relevant and up to date. After this next one is born my plan is try and find something just part time so I can get my foot in the door and some experience on my resume.

younglove316 I appreciate your response! I was worried I was coming off too much of a complainer and ungrateful. I love that i can be home with LO but its tough stuff!!

[ntdane]

(1) Intro w/ LO(s). Planning on more? Done? Who knows?

I have a very active 4 yo DS and 14 month B/G twins. I've been having some major baby fever lately but we're done.

(2) Do you have a SAHM timeline (ex - looking for work now. will go back when they are in school. SAHM for life!)

I never thought I would be a SAHM. Prior to BFP we moved to a new state when ds1 was almost 2 and we had TTC for 7 months. We decided I would stay home to settle in and give it a few more months TTC before I looked for a job. Then after 11 months, BFP, then found out it was twins, and I will now SAH for at least the next year. I'm thinking about going back to school while I'm home, but not sure how that would work out.

(3) Current challenge related to SAH

I need alone time and space, and I'm really not getting that right now. DH is great and has no problem having the kids on his own, but I end up feeling guilty because I know he's working really hard and not getting breaks either. We don't have family nearby and all 3 kids feels like a lot to find sitters for with the twins at this age, so we just don't get out enough.

[lincbeesmom]

(1) Intro w/ LO(s).  Planning on more?  Done?  Who knows?

We might be one and done but I guess you can put us in the who knows category. So far, it's just my Lincoln! Will be 14 months old on the first.

(2) Do you have a SAHM timeline (ex - looking for work now.  will go back when they are in school.  SAHM for life!)

I would like to go back to work or school once linc starts school.

(3) Current challenge related to SAH

Finding things to do during the week. I get stir crazy when I am home all day so I end up going to the mall or a store of some kind. Let's just say my shopping is getting a bit out of hand. I need things to do!

[angelsnight]

I'm all for a check in

1) My angel born March 2013, DD2 just turned 13 months. I go back and forth between being done, and maybe one more. I turn 36 in a couple weeks, so we're giving ourselves till LO turns 2. If we decide we don't want another then, we're done.

2)I quit when LO was 4 months old. I said I would give myself a year and try to find some work from home, or go back to work in a year. I'm three months from that deadline and I am not ready to leave her yet. But sometimes I catch myself searching for something part time. Ideally I'd like to stay home until she starts kindergarten, but I am not sure our finances will allow that.

3) The winter was rough, I hadn't thought about being stuck inside all winter. Plus MH was home with me all winter because he gets laid off due to a seasonal job. I am so lazy and unproductive when he is home, and we just cannot spend that much time together. My other issue is just feeling ugly and blah. I live in maternity t shirts and yoga pants, and somedays don't shower for two or three days. I miss having a reason to wear heels, dress nice, and shower every day.

[Deleted]

Apr 21, 2015 9:02:33 GMT -5 ang32 said:

katka512 There are, but I'm afraid of the germs lurking at the childcare at my local gym!

My favorite is when people bring their kids coughing and they have snot oozing from their nose all the way to their chin. Seriously! Don't bring your kids to childcare at the gym when they are sick! No one wants to fight a cold for the next month! It makes me so mad.

[sanibel21]

Does anyone think their LOs are more clingy to them because of staying home with them or is it normal for the age regardless of if parents are staying home? I wouldn't have such a hard time it if I didn't think I was ruining her, haha.

[younglove316]

Apr 22, 2015 8:22:23 GMT -5 sanibel21 said:

Does anyone think their LOs are more clingy to them because of staying home with them or is it normal for the age regardless of if parents are staying home? I wouldn't have such a hard time it if I didn't think I was ruining her, haha.

I think it has more to do with the age. DD isn't exactly clingy to me as much as she is to my husband! I'm with her all day but when he's around she wants nothing to do with me.

[Deleted]

Apr 22, 2015 8:22:23 GMT -5 sanibel21 said:

Does anyone think their LOs are more clingy to them because of staying home with them or is it normal for the age regardless of if parents are staying home? I wouldn't have such a hard time it if I didn't think I was ruining her, haha.

I can leave E and she doesn't cry or seem phased. She will cry when I pick her back up. Not because she doesn't want me but bc she missed me. She immediately wants to nurse and cuddle.

I can't walk out of her sight at home without we crying unless she is with DH.

[ang32]

Apr 22, 2015 13:24:30 GMT -5 @babylentilbean said:

Apr 22, 2015 8:22:23 GMT -5 sanibel21 said:

Does anyone think their LOs are more clingy to them because of staying home with them or is it normal for the age regardless of if parents are staying home? I wouldn't have such a hard time it if I didn't think I was ruining her, haha.

I can leave E and she doesn't cry or seem phased. She will cry when I pick her back up. Not because she doesn't want me but bc she missed me. She immediately wants to nurse and cuddle.

I can't walk out of her sight at home without we crying unless she is with DH.

Exactly this!

[ang32]

Apr 22, 2015 8:18:07 GMT -5 @babylentilbean said:

Apr 21, 2015 9:02:33 GMT -5 ang32 said:

katka512 There are, but I'm afraid of the germs lurking at the childcare at my local gym!

My favorite is when people bring their kids coughing and they have snot oozing from their nose all the way to their chin. Seriously! Don't bring your kids to childcare at the gym when they are sick! No one wants to fight a cold for the next month! It makes me so mad.

Right?!!? We have a fitness membership but I've barely used it. The best time for me to work out is noonish but that's not happening. My MIL has an elliptical that she doesn't use that's in storage so i might ask her if I can use it.

[katka512]

The Y I go to won't allow visibly sick kids in the child care. LO has been sick once in her life and she could have caught it anywhere.
Of course I don't want her to get sick. But it will happen eventually and we both may as well live our lives.

sanibel21 LO will cry sometimes at home if she wants me to hold her and I'm in the other room. She rarely cries when I leave her at gym day care and if she does, it's only for a few seconds until she is distracted.

[nattybumppo]

I didn't realize M14 had so many SAHMs! Awesome! And I'm glad this check in has been well received. Sorry I started it and then wen MIA....it's been a busy couple days and I haven't been on much.

younglove316, I hear you about worrying about waiting too long to use your degree. I did work before LOs, but neither job was really related to my degree and both jobs were kind of unique experiences so when I try to go back to work I'm going to have a degree in a field I won't be able to work in and two unique work experience that I won't be able to directly apply to a new job so I'm going to have to get creative with how I market myself. I can't remember if a PP recommended this, but does your school have an alumni networking program or a career services center that alumni can use? They may be able to help you with job hunting or what you could do to update your skills.

katka512, yes, i hated that with DD1 - so many things during nap time!! Does no one know when nap time is?!? LOL. When they go down to one nap, it does get easier. (And that's the other thing slowing me down from scheduling doctor appts - even if I want to take them with me, between nap times and picking DD1 up from school I have very small windows in between!)

ack! Wanted to reply to more but everyone is waking up.....will be back later!

[younglove316]

nattybumppo I should look and see what my school has! I went to a pretty big university so I'm sure they have something I've also thought about getting a certificate to maybe go along and that would be more current as well. That I could do 100% online with the exception of an internship so it might be worth looking into. So many choices to make!

[g33kyg1rly]

(1) Intro w/ LO(s). Planning on more? Done? Who knows?

DD turned 13m on the 19th. Unsure about more. We were originally planning for 1 more, but after a rough delivery/complications & breastfeeding struggles (& ultimately failure), I have had second thoughts. There was a lot of sadness and guilt around that time, and I don't know if I want to risk going through that again.

(2) Do you have a SAHM timeline (ex - looking for work now. will go back when they are in school. SAHM for life!)

I definitely want to go back to work eventually, at least PT. Most likely it will be after DD starts school. (Or, if we have another, might be after they are both in school.) My field is web development, and ideally I'd love to do freelancing from home, or find a company that let me WFH. I worked in the city before becoming a SAHM, and the hour commute each way was tough. I'm still doing some volunteer work off and on in the evenings (after DD goes to bed) to keep my skills up.

(3) Current challenge related to SAH

While I'm grateful to be able to SAH, there have been multiple challenges. I miss having more adult interaction, and I feel like she doesn't get enough interaction with other kids. (I really need to find a local playgroup or something to get us out more.) I also sometimes miss the intellectual stimulation of working. Also, since raising DD is essentially my "job" now, I feel a lot of pressure to "not screw up," if that makes sense. I worry a lot about if I'm doing the right things with her.

[lostinfaith225]

Hi! I haven't been posting as much lately. The moms at Gymboree formed a moms group and we do play dates all the time!

(1) Intro w/ LO(s). Planning on more? Done? Who knows?
Just one right now. Ds will be 14 months on Saturday. We will have another after ds turns 2.

(2) Do you have a SAHM timeline (ex - looking for work now. will go back when they are in school. SAHM for life!)
I would like to go back to work after the kids are in school.


(3) Current challenge related to SAH
Trying to get our house ready to put on the market! So stressful!!! Plus taking care of Lo and doing all our activities.

[threetaboos]

Hope you don't mind if I also join!

1. DS is 13 months and #2 is due in December. We're planning on being done after two.

2. Not really. I'm sure I'll go back to work part time after kids are in school. DH has told me I don't have to, but I can't see myself content staying home.

3. Definitely feeling stuck at home. And honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm not interacting enough with him.

[sanibel21]

g33kyg1rly and threetaboos, your number 3's ring true for me too!