A conversation with DS

[Deleted]

For reference he is 8 years old, and knows a little bit about birds and bees.    It started in the check out line in Target when he loudly blurted out, "Mom, how does the sex make a baby in the mom's tummy?"
Me, about 30 shades of red:  "That's a conversation to have in the car or at home." 

That appeased DS.   It  gravely disappointed all of the people who heard him and who were staring at me, anxiously waiting to hear my answer. 

As we are leaving the Target parking lot, "Um, ok, we're in the car now, mom!"
*damn*   "Well,  the dad puts the sperm in the mommy and if there is an egg in the mommy at the same time they mix together and it makes a baby."
DS:   "Oh."    Silence.   "Do you have to be naked to have the sex?"
Me:  "Uh, Yeah."
DS shrieks,"OK!   That's it!!   I am never going to have a wife.   You people are just embarrassing and disgusting!"

[Deleted]

Apr 20, 2015 17:42:57 GMT -5 @pcrunk said:

Lolololol that is awesome. Kids are so funny.

I have my cousin has four year old twin girls. At my shower they came up to me and were asking all sorts of questions about how the baby got in there. The only answer my caught off guard cousin could come up with was that Jesus put them in there, which was hilarious because she's a wild and crazy free spirit. Totally never thought that kind of answer would come out of her mouth. They also informed me that their daddy has a penis but they had "baginas" and the "baginas" don't hang down like penises. They're so glad that they have "baginas" because the penis would get germs on them.

OMG on my local board, many years ago, someone came on and dead seriously told the IF moms that if they would only open their wombs to Jesus they would conceive.   This totally just made me snort.

[fuccimama]

I almost spit my ginger ale out at his last response! LOL, kids say the darnedest things. You handled that beautifully though, a lot better than me! I would have said ask your father.

[billyhorrible]

Thank goodness he said that and not "yay naked! Can't wait to make babies!"


We've been talking about death lately because my grandmother died and that led into whether I was going to die, and how he and DH would be all alone. So I told him that by the time I died he would probably be married and have a family. So now he keeps asking when he is going to get married and be a daddy. Not for a long time kid. Not for a long time.

[mrskblack11]

That is hilarious!

[Deleted]

I should have gone on to the part where DS then asked me, "When did you you and DH have the sex?" Before I could say anything he went on to say "Oh, it was probably when I was at my dad's house, right?"

[erbear]

I am so not ready for when this happens with my child! Some of my students (second grade, so same age) have already been like, "I know how that baby got in your belly!" and I shut that down REAL quick. You handled it well!

[laurenlou83]

Oh my gosh, this is too funny @jimbobcooter!! Adorable.

[honeybunches101]

That is hilarious! Kids are so funny.

I remember being told about being naked to have sex, and I somehow thought that you had to be naked to kiss too. Very confusing stuff.

[Deleted]

Hahaha this is awesome! Love those curious kid minds!

[nettje]

That was awesome. Lol. I'm hoping i still have the ability to answer those questions foR DD and this LO when the time comes. I taught grade 9 and 10 health classes for about 4 years. I feel prepared for all questions.

[bruunk]

DH and I were just discussing this last night - I had a nurse mom, so a very medical, age appropriate talk several times. He remembers getting told at recess and being sure that wasn't true (around 7) and being appalled when his parents told him that his school yard education was correct. Not sure how we'll handle it ... I came from a more open about it house hold than him - Sex is a fact of life for me, and for him a much more private matter. We'll see how I feel when kiddo is here though

[Deleted]

We started with a kid sex book (It's Not the Stork) about a year ago because he kept asking and we read it with him when he brings it up on his own. Just as much as he's comfortable with. Always stopping when he's had enough. Sometimes we'll let him look at it on his own for a little bit and then let him come to us with more questions as he has them. Today was the first time he actually associated baby & sex with me and DH though and that part did throw me for a loop. And then he figured out that XH and I also had the sex so now I feel like the whore mother.  LOL

[mcp6286]

@jimbobcooter, you're a champ! And that is hilarious...I LOL'd.

I'm reading The Giver with my 8th graders and they are obsessed with trying to figure out how the Elders keep the spouses from having their own children. I am NOT looking forward to reading that chapter with them...I know there will be way too much laughter and way too many questions/comments. They can't remember what a utopia or dystopia is, even though we spent 45 minutes talking about it, but they sure can remember long-term that the spouses aren't allowed to have sex, which was mentioned in one sentence so far!

[tiffbot]

That is hilarious!! You did awesome!

When my friend was pregnant with her last, her 3 year old realized one day that the baby was in her belly and exclaimed 'You ATE the baby?!?!'

[sordidvolition]

These are hilarious. So far DS (3yo) has only asked how the baby gets out, if he's naked, and if he has toys in there.

[wormgerm]

You both handled that really well! I admire that you made the choice to slowly educate him to an appropriate level instead of lying.

I remember being somewhere between 8 and 11 years old and thinking pubic hair went alllll the way down the shaft of a penis. I thought that was SO disgusting I knew I would never have sex. Hahahaha!

Also, unrelated, but at that age I didn't know the fat end of a tampon went in. I thought you shoved the string up there and tucked the absorbent part between your butt cheeks and the blood would just wick down the string. Thank goodness for the diagram in the box when I finally had to figure it out for real.

[apollo11235]

Hilarious! My favorite part is that he calls it "the sex." Kudos to you for your honesty.

I nanny a 3-year-old who, fortunately, hasn't asked me where my baby came from. She has asked a handful of times why I'm having a baby, and once asked why it made my belly so big, but she is primarily concerned that I don't bring it to her house and make her play with it after it comes out.

[dogmama22]

Your DS seems like quite the guy! Between building shelves for your LO and this...

[noeliav]

My DD is split on the baby coming out of the belly button and that the doctor helps with "wipies" to get the baby out from the mama's undercarriage. I told her that the baby (usually) comes out of the mama's vagina, but that seems to have gone over her head. We've been watching non-graphic birth videos, but perhaps we need to progress to the graphic ones, lol.

(She's almost 29m)

[littlemissgrump]

Kids are pretty much the cutest.

I nannied for a little boy, probably 5 at the time, who lived in a pretty open household. One day we were on the swingset chatting and he said, "My gramma made my mom and my mom made me and some day I'll make a person of my own. Do you have a person?"

I told him I didn't and he said, "Well, when you marry someone with a penis then you can make a person too."

[noeliav]

Apr 21, 2015 12:42:46 GMT -5 littlemissgrump said:

Kids are pretty much the cutest.

I nannied for a little boy, probably 5 at the time, who lived in a pretty open household. One day we were on the swingset chatting and he said, "My gramma made my mom and my mom made me and some day I'll make a person of my own. Do you have a person?"

I told him I didn't and he said, "Well, when you marry someone with a penis then you can make a person too."

Hahaha. I love that.