Med Free Monday check in

[Deleted]

Yeah, yeah... it's not Monday.   DS had school off yesterday so everything is just off in my head and today feels like Monday to me.   Anyway, I meant to put this up yesterday.  Several other boards do this so I thought I'd start one here too for the mama's that are hoping to go med free, just as a means of support. 


How is everything going so far?   How are you preparing for your hoped for med free birth and, with only 10-6 weeks left, how are you feeling about your plan?

[Deleted]

I won't lie. I have moments of doubt where I think I have lost my mind. I think it just depends on how I feel day to day at this point. If I'm having a particularly exhausted or sick day it's hard for me to comprehend how I will ever have the energy & strength to do it. But I'm still trying to stay focused on that goal. I found out my acupuncturist is also a doula and we hired her last week. That big step alone has helped me keep my resolve. I also ordered Hypnobirthing and Childbirth without Fear this last week and am looking forward to having some new, positive reading material when they arrive.

Other tips for keeping focused from those who have already done it once?

[wifedeangel]

Just trying to remember to do my visualizations and breathing exercises a few times a day.

I asked H the other day if he remembered what he had to do during labor and the freaked look on his face told me no, lol! So I need to dig out his pregnancy and labor book for him to review. He was such a big help last time, I'm looking forward to his help this time too.

[Deleted]

Apr 21, 2015 10:15:45 GMT -5 wifedeangel said:

Just trying to remember to do my visualizations and breathing exercises a few times a day.

I asked H the other day if he remembered what he had to do during labor and the freaked look on his face told me no, lol! So I need to dig out his pregnancy and labor book for him to review. He was such a big help last time, I'm looking forward to his help this time too.

And this is why I broke down and hired a doula.  I love DH dearly but, as excited as he is, I don't have faith that he will be able to consistently be what I need during labor. He just doesn't do well with difficult medical stuff.   I may need to scream at him when he does exactly the opposite of what I need.   LOL  Hopefully having a doula will help keep me focused and give me what I need an allow him to experience the birth the way he needs to without us conflicting. 

[wormgerm]

I'm flip flopping with the rest of you. I really really really want to be able to try various positions and use gravity to get this boy out. But dang if I'm not a little convinced I'm going to tap out and beg for the epidural and wind up with an emergency c-section.

[noname83]

I've been trying to basically not think about it. I don't think I will ever feel completely prepared, mainly because I don't really know how I can mentally prepare for something I have never even come close to experiencing.

What I've done to prepare - we've hired a doula, I've been doing prenatal yoga and some other exercises, and I have a class at the hospital scheduled for May 3 that is geared towards med free. I would like to somehow get away from my fear of being induced (I have no specific reason to have this fear). I know inductions cause more painful contractions, so I don't think I'll be able to stay med free if I do get induced.

ETA: my hospital has tubs available to labor in with most of the L&D rooms. I definitely want one of those.

[periwinkledaydreams]

Wow, I was thinking of starting a similar thread today too so.. HOORAY! I'm mainly focused on the goal of going epidural free, due to a pre-existing hip/sacro-iliac joint condition that could make it dangerous to "not feel" that part of my body and to not be the person who is in control of those joints during my delivery, and also because the position I would have to be in is 100% the WORST position for the SI joint. I have my own more personal reasons but those are the ones prompting me medically. Mostly, I want to be able to remain as calm as possible and for me I think that that means being able to move about/change positions.

I also ordered HypnoBirthing last week (The Mongan Method book and CD) and am feeling really good about it so far. The first part of the guided meditation CD has gained me a few hours of sleep this week, which I wasn't getting any of before, so if nothing else that is already a win! I haven't read it cover to cover yet, and haven't completely committed to "the method" (I don't know that I am a one method kind of gal, I more so want to build a repertoire of possible go-to tools) but I'm practicing the techniques daily and do really like the focus on relaxation, breathing, and allowing the body to open and do what it is prepared to do. There is also a huge focus on partner involvement, which I like, but I really don't know how on board I will get SO with this one. It might take a bit of convincing to get him past the (what he considers) ultra alternative nature of hypnosis.. it is really outside of his realm. I think if I love it, though, he will see the benefits and be as helpful as he can be.

Anyway thanks @jimbobcooter, for starting this thread!!! Super timely and really happy to see other ladies interested. I'm really interested to see what other ideas come up because I want to read up on as many tools and techniques as possible in the next few weeks.

[mathistm]

I've been trying to practice 2 minute breathing exercises/visualizations 10 times per day. I think of the worst pain I could possibly imagine and do them. It seems kind of silly but I feel like it is helping a lot. I have also tasked DH with springing a "contraction" on me 3 times a day. We stop what we are doing and I get on the floor/lean over a chair/sit on exercise ball in our living room and picture a contraction (not that I know what one actually feels like yet). He rubs my back, talks me through it, etc while I practice breathing and such. I feel like it is helping us to figure out what works and what doesn't.

Eta I also just busted open the hypnobirthing book. So far, so good.

[bruunk]

I'm feeling ok about the Med Free. Maybe that's just me today? I have a pretty good support team, and I keep reminding myself that this is going to hurt but it's temporary. I'm really worried about getting tired though and needing the help. DH is reading The Birthing Partner, and my mom (used to be a doula and a midwife, is a nurse) will be there, and I'm confident they'll be able to talk me through whatever happens. I keep having a negative little tickle in the back of my throat that this won't go well and something horrible will happen. I'm trying really hard to ignore that voice - this is the only thing I've ever felt one hundred percent that I could do. I've read a lot of Ina May Gaskin, which has great positive stories. I think I need to re read them

[wormgerm]

I just called and made an appointment for Monday evening with a potential doula. She is about my age and has 3 kids. Hopefully we click and it gets me one step closer to feeling labor and birth confident.

[noeliav]

We've been so bad about reading the weekly stuff from our Bradley book (2nd time around). I feel like I'm nagging DH a bit, but c'mon man! I'm going to need you to do what you did last time (whatever that was) so please to be getting on board.

DD's birth was relatively quick for a FTM, so our care providers have told us to prepare for another quick birth, but DH seems to be fond of reminding me that I could still have a long labor/difficult birth. He's annoying me with that business and I've told him that a) I know and b) I need him to be a cheerleader, thankyouverymuch.

Um. We have our birth center "getting ready" class tonight, and they're supposed to give us the list of things to bring. After I have that in hand, I can finish packing the bag which has been something DH and I both feel needs to be done asap.

I've thought of a second mantra that I've told to DH to help me stay focused in labor: This is my body and my baby working together. We'll see how that fits on the day of.

[silv3rlining]

I really wanted to go med free with DS but I had an induction (pitching and AROM). After several hours and no progress I caved and got the epidural. Which got me complete in 2 hours time. I also had PPH. My doula told me after the fact it was good I got the epi. Bc I was unsuccessful for a med free birth with DS I'm torn about it this time. In theory I want to try it but have reservations based on my previous experience. I will have a doula again. Since I don't have GD this time I'm really hoping I can avoid induction as well.

[hbanana18]

We finished our birth class - just regular not med free method specifically and honestly the video of the woman getting epidural have me more anxiety then watching the woman labor without meds.

I have been reading Ina May as well and like @pcunk reading positive birth stories has been my biggest affirmation of 'I can do this!'.

I am going in with the intention of med free but being ok to ask if it gets too much. One thing I saw on a recent birth story though was that a woman got the epidural but hadn't had a cervix check right before and didn't realize she was already in transition. If I do start to think about getting pain management I would make sure to be checked first - I feel like once you're that far, you've done it, so I would try to keep going.

We are taking a class with a doula that will teach MH how to massage & help during labor.

[jcprn]

I have the first of four weekly hypnobirthing classes coming up tomorrow that my mom will be doing with me. Also, DH and I have a 2 day class this weekend at my hospital in preparing for childbirth but I think that's going to go through EVERYTHING that can happen as opposed to just med-free. I had an appointment today with my OB and she asked how I feel about an epidural and I told her I'd be open to it but I'd like to see how my body feels in labor before making any hard decisions.

DH kind of pisses me off with this topic because he's said before that he doesn't want me to change my mind from what I've committed to "if things get too hard." I'm like F you, I'll change my mind however I please.

[carolyngrace]

I'm feeling pretty confident along with @pcrunk and a couple of others! My only "fear" is that I'll be one of those moms who is devastated if things don't go as planned, but honestly that's really not my personality and I'd be surprised if it happened.

We had a GREAT birthing class, and just need to review everything in the next few weeks (since it was a month ago already!).

Oh, I guess my real worry is that DH will be super busy/stressed/tired from work when I go into labor. He has said a few times how this is the worst timing for me to have the baby. But he is (and wants to be) my primary support (no doula) and I am pretty sure he'll step up when the time comes.

hbanana18, My friend who got an epidural a few months ago said she wouldn't do it again, precisely because she found out she was 9cm when she got it.

noeliav, are you planning to give birth in a free-standing birthing center, or is it attached to a hospital? I'd like to know where everyone is planning to deliver... Seems like everyone else here will be at a hospital, judging from the availability of epidurals, but I could be wrong... Any other center births planned? Home births?

[noeliav]

carolyngrace
It's a free standing birth center (attached to my OB/MW practice), but is across the street from the hospital where I delivered DD. In fact, if things go "wrong" you're transferred via wheelchair!

I was able to have a pain-med free L&D with DD in the hospital. I think my care providers were a bigger factor in making that possible than location. We're in the birth center now because we want to be home asap postpartum, and last time the hospital's policies made that difficult.

[noeliav]

Oh, and I'd give an appendage to have a home birth, but DH was/is not on board with that at all. A home birth sounds perfectly lovely to me. Let the professionals come to me! lol.

[bruunk]

carolyngrace I'm with you on being more worried about devastated because I took pain meds. My mom pointed out that one) as long as baby is here, and we're both healthy, I had a good birth and two) it's not going to go as I planned, so chuck that right out the window. I keep trying to remind myself that no matter what the overall plan is healthy baby and mom. It helps, a little. jcprn I've told all my support peeps that while the goal and plan right now is med free, I reserve the right to change my mind - apparently I had a very defensive face on because my sister laughed and said she'd do whatever I tell her in the labor room.

[ladymouse]

Just having raspberry leaf tea, tailor sitting, and chasing a toddler. Also figuring out how to fire a midwife when it tends to be a "whoever's at the hospital" kind of practice. I so wish it was legal to do homebirth VBACs in this state.

carolyngrace - my first was a planned homebirth, with a transfer due to failure to progress (20 hours at a 5, over 40 hours of labor total.) Had a c-section with spinal only. The last birth center in the state was shut down recently, and homebirth VBACs are illegal here (well, not technically because sometimes it just goes too fast, but ATTENDED homebirth VBACs are.)

[leenziepops]

I'm feeling really good and positive about going med free. I've mentioned the stats before about my mum and grandma giving birth to 14 kids all vaginally and med free but. this fact really provides me with strength and encouragement to believe that I can do it too.

[bruunk]

@pcrunk I've had friends who have had the same experience. I'm lucky, and have been able to talk to DH and my mom about it (and both will be in the labor room), and they're both going to be supportive - I know that if it needs to happen and I feel like a failure, they'll be able to help me with those feelings (if that happens... not sure that's clear). I'm trying really hard to keep the mantra of healthy baby, healthy mom as our birth plan in my head, because you're right - the best laid plans and all that

[PurpleIris]

Glad someone started this. I'm feeling kind of angsty about it right now. First baby I did everything "right"; midwife at a birth center, doula, Hypnobabies, natural birth class. I was doing okay at the birth center, using the tub, but had to transfer to the hospital across the street because of meconium in the amniotic fluid (their policy, the OB's they're affiliated with require it). Pretty much lost my mojo then and really my only memories of the rest of it are very fear based and make me question wanting to try med free again. I eventually took a dose of Stadol and it was awful, did nothing for the pain and made me feel drunk/fall asleep between contractions.

I can't tell if my reservations about pain control are based on real things (I don't tolerate meds really well, regular anesthesia makes me puke so would I have that with the epidural), or if I'm trying to capture the "perfect birth" that I didn't get last time. Yes, I realize that any birth that both of us end up healthy is perfect, but you know what I mean. I appreciate others sharing that you're flip flopping about what to do, most of my IRL peeps are all "just get the epidural it's all unicorns and rainbows!".

[carolyngrace]

Apr 21, 2015 19:10:16 GMT -5 @pcrunk said:

PurpleIris I want to go med free because I've heard such great things about the recovery after and obviously it typically tends to lead to less interventions. And I really don't want to be confined to the bed. But I'm flip flopping because I'm so worried I'm not going to be able to handle the pain, that no matter what kind of pain management I try that it won't do a damn thing for me. It makes me feel better too knowing I'm not the only one.

I second your reasons for choosing to go med free.

And in reply to your earlier comment about your friend who was pretty devastated due to all of the interventions she had to get... I guess my fear is that my reaction WILL be like hers, even though I DON'T feel like it will be at this point. At this point I have heard so many times that nothing goes according to our "perfect plans" and I've also known plenty of people who have had c-sections and I don't see that as a "failure". I guess it's just like, what if my emotions take over and I have some negative reaction to however my birth goes. That would suck. But at this point I feel really open to whatever happens!

[PurpleIris]

@pcrunk, I agree, there are so many great potential benefits!. I unfortunately missed out on the better recovery because I lost so much blood and was severely anemic, they were talking blood transfusion after I passed out in the bathroom. I was so wiped from that I couldn't do much. But I really hate taking meds so I'm trying to get in the mindset of just getting through labor, it's temporary, I'll feel better after without trying to clear meds from my system.

One thing I keep reminding myself of is that the birth part is such a small part of things; in retrospect I wish I had focused more on what to do when I got home with a newborn rather than trying to make the "perfect" birth experience.

[dogmama22]

This thread is awesome. It's good to know I'm not the only one worried about giving in to the epidural when it's actually go time.
My mom went natural with both my sister and I so ever since I learned that, it's been my hope to do the same. We are finishing our Lamaze class right now, which has been really helpful even though it's not specifically targeted at med-free birth. We are delivering at a hospital because there aren't any birth centers in the area and possibly none in the state. Our hospital seems pretty supportive though, with a tub, birth balls, squat bar, etc. I also need to get started on Ina May's book since I've heard so many good things about it around here.

[tiffbot]

I'm still flip flopping too. I accidentally went med free with DS and it was fast and done with and gave me a huge adrenaline rush (of course I have nothing to compare that to!) so there's that big part of me that just hopes if it happened like that again, that I could do it.

Then there's the part of me that wonders if I have a completely opposite labour, as my entire pregnancy has seem to be opposite, how I would do. And the fact that I kind of just want to get the epi right away and not have so much initial pain.

I still think it will just be a game time decision. But I'll be keeping up with these threads for discussions sake and pump myself up for it again.

[sugarbean17]

Went med free for my first two while on pitocin. The only part that I felt like giving up (which is the same place my doula clients have felt like giving up) was right at transition when you are only several contractions away from getting to push. Ina may Gaskins guide to childbirth is a great book and has some positive natural child birth stories. Birth without fear is a great website. I have doing hypnobirthing this time and really looking forward to it make sure to get the cd or you can download the mp3 versions for free. I can't remember the site.

We are going to try to not be induced this time so I am looking forward to starting labor on my own. We are looking at hiring a doula because every woman needs a doula even doulas need doulas. My hubby was great last time and I know he will be great this time too. It's nice to have hospital staff know that you are trying to go med free so they don't offer it.

[wormgerm]

Oh yeah @sygarbean17 that reminds me. I'm going to the Columbus, OH birth without fear meetup on May 9th. I'm really hoping that gets me all amped up and ready to tackle this.

If I didn't mention it already I'm delivering at a holistic birth center in the hospital.

[dogmama22]

wormgerm that's the day of my shower, but now I totally wish I could go! It's less than 2 hours from us and that's where my in-laws live. Please report back afterwards!