<<** Weekly Check In 4/21/15 **>>

[icequeen]

Good afternoon, everyone!

I'm sorry I've been a little late with the goals and check ins. The last few days have been really busy but I'm trying to stay on top of everything! I hope y'all are doing well this week and please don't hesitate to let us know how we can best help with your current situation. Please PM me if you would like to be tagged for participation. Thanks so much for all of your support and don't forget to check out the new sub board and offer any ideas and suggestions!

flcl, mrsb1008, yoshijo28, @rocknrollfriend, @wallflwr926, @ordinaryamy, runnergirl812, helloamanda, @giamia923, snarkysparklefart, @alleykat05, bluerainfire, sko14, @erin2021, spencer1337, RedDDD

------------------

Please state your diagnosis and/or status:

How is your week going?

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?

Any changes in medication or recent appointments?

GTKY: What is on your IPOD/MP3/spotify or whatever you use to listen to music?

[RedDDD]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: Depression with Anxiety

How is your week going? We flew home yesterday which was a total shit show. Im exhausted and we decided we will not attempt another flight with two toddlers for at least another two years. Total cluster F.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? Forgot to take my meds while on vacation twice so that was frustrating. To be positive.....I survived two flights with sick kiddos and managed not to get divorced. #Winning

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? nope, my Dr wants me to start counseling but Im really having a hard time fitting it in. Not sure what I will do

GTKY: What is on your IPOD/MP3/spotify or whatever you use to listen to music? Enya, Classical...if Im listening to music its usually at work to drown out the BS around me. When I am in the car I listen to talk radio.

[yoshijo28]

Thanks icequeen

Diagnosis: anorexia, ocd, anxiety

How is your week going? Im not sure. I'm exercising more but letting myself eat a little more. I'm just so hungry and feel like crap sometimes.

Struggles/accomplishments: Last week I had ice cream but then went to the gym for an hour. This past weekend I had some foods I normally would have anxiety about but was ok. Maybe it's because I'm exercising more so I know I'm burning it off.


One of my family members is very sick and I can't help but feel like my selfishness with this caused it. I know I didn't do anything rationally but the ocd is making me feel responsible because of the choices I'm making. This is a common obsession with my ocd. I feel like if I stop what I'm doing he could get better.

Therapy: I go Thursday

Eta: RedDDD sorry your flight didn't go well. That must have been so tough. Did you have a good trip overall?

Eta#2: QOTW: I use spotify and have a ton of country music on My playlists. Florida Georgia lines newest album is awsome. I also have the Fray, Gavin DeGraw, and One Republic

[RedDDD]

yoshijo28, We had a good trip. When we got on the plane to fly out we didn't know that DD had a raging double ear infection so she started throwing up about an hour into the flight. DS choked on gummy bears and threw up too so the four of us were covered in puke for about half of the 3 hour flight. It was awful. We had a nice time visiting with family but its just not worth the stress so we just wont do it again. Almost feels good knowing we don't have to do it again for a long time.

[Deleted]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status:
Unofficially anxiety, depression, paranoia.

How is your week going?
The past two weeks have just been chaos. I rushed up for a last minute interview then went back to move my stuff from school apartment to FI's apartment. I'm living at my parents till the wedding next Friday (!!) and had to return to FI's again for another interview (this one on-call no hours guaranteed at all :S). I don't do well with disruptions of my routine and April has basically been non-stop disruptions.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?
I managed to somehow get called to two interviews in FI's city, which is pretty exciting.
Struggling with the routine disruption, I'm not always pleasant to deal with when it happens.

GTKY: What is on your IPOD/MP3/spotify or whatever you use to listen to music?
A variety, pretty much nothing new because I never remember to add music and when I do, it tends to be new-to-me songs or "Oh I meant this years ago" songs I found on Youtube.

[Deleted]

How is your week going?It started off really emotional, but it's getting better.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?My husband just got a job in Alberta, so he will be going back and forth for the year, if not more. I'm excited about this because it gives us a huge head start in life! I'm sad because I don't want him to go, but we really needed this break. We debated on moving to another province, but I just can't do it. I can't take my kids from their grandparents, and I'm way too close with my parents to leave them. I worry it will hold us back from certain opportunities, but if I have to work 10 jobs to keep my kids close with their family I will. So it's a huge sigh of relief! Things seem to be falling into place for us!

Any changes in medication or recent appointments?None.

GTKY: What is on your IPOD/MP3/spotify or whatever you use to listen to music[/b]? Spotify we listen to "Have a Nice Day" at home constantly! You can't help but dance and sing to it!

[snarkysparklefart]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: Borderline PD, primarily. A few other issues as well (anxiety, prior PPD & PPA, PTSD)

How is your week going? So far, so good. I forgot to take my medication yesterday before I left my house- but somehow I managed, enjoyed myself, and spent some time outside with DDs without it- an absolutely huge accomplishment for me.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?
Accomplishment above. Struggling with a few thing this week- I keep having these catastrophically bad thoughts. I'm aware that I'm being irrational but sometimes I really struggle with getting my brain to shut up for a bit. I know many people suffer more in the winter- because of my phobia, summer is the absolute worst for me, so it's probably 'normal' that my anxiety is so high right now. That does make sense as to why, but it doesn't make me feel better, at all. Also, I'm noticing some signs of anxiety in DD1 that really worry me.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments?
Appointment 4/13, started an as needed anxiety medication again- plan is to take it and watch for interaction with BF DD2; so far no problems, but I am more hesitant to take it in case it causes her problems. Which causes anxiety. So I should take it. I was surprised at how nonchalant my psychiatrist was about the medication; if I had known I could've been taking it all along I would've. I also start back to therapy 4/27.

GTKY: What is on your IPOD/MP3/spotify or whatever you use to listen to music?
I listen to Pandora at home- I have a southern rock channel, a top 40's, one called 'Santeria' (referring to the Sublime song), a Hootie and the Blowfish (probably my favorite), Adele, Ella Fitzgerald, a 90's station (think Ini Kamoze), Motown, a hip hop channel, and a toddler radio. It depends on what I'm listening for, but I love lots of different varieties from 80's hair bands to jazz to west coast rap.

[snarkysparklefart]

@ordinaryamy, congrats on the wedding!!!

@erin2021, congrats on your H new job!

RedDDD, I hope your kids are feeling better now!

((Hugs)) yoshijo28

[booksntea]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: anger - codependecy

How is your week going? not great. I am overwhelmed with being a working mom. I would prefer to focus on LO, but because of my marital issues, I don't think that would be the best decision for me now. My husband has been awful this week.

I read this article on the idea of gas-lighting.

I feel like this concept really sheds light on the dynamic of my relationship. I am so depressed as I am not sure this is fixable.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? I have been much better at dealing with my own anger and have had pride in that. I am pretty down in the dumps now though as I am not sure where to go with my husband from here. The idea of divorce is so daunting and I am spinning on whether this is my only real option for happiness.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? hoping to get in to see my therapist tomorrow.

GTKY: What is on your IPOD/MP3/spotify or whatever you use to listen to music? it is all LO focused now... Jewel Lullaby, Phillip Phillips and Cat Stevens

[icequeen]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, GAD

How is your week going? Terrible. I am back to binging and purging and feel out of control. It's all my fault for starving myself the last 2 months thinking I could live on salads and lean meat and veggies. I have to backtrack a lot now and take it slower this time. I also had my IUI yesterday and it went perfectly, so that was a huge relief. I am just so disappointed in myself and angry that I am slipping again. I have to get better because I can't let this illness ruin my chances of getting pregnant and having a healthy pregnancy more than it already has.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? I am happy that I am purging less than in previous years and definitely less than I was before I stopped cold turkey 2 months ago. I am determined to not let it get worse. I'm really struggling with weighing obsessively, but next week we will be in Disneyworld and I won't have my scale so I'm hoping that will get me used to not depending on it every single day. I really need to get rid of it ASAP. If I didn't weight myself constantly, I guarantee I would not be throwing up. FML.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? Therapy tomorrow.

GTKY: What is on your IPOD/MP3/spotify or whatever you use to listen to music? A lot of country, some pop. Mainly Luke Bryan, Carrie Underwood, Taylor Swift, One Direction

[icequeen]

Hi y'all, just catching up now. I'm sorry I've been so behind. I'm just not feeling well and really upset at my whole situation right now and it's making it hard to focus on everything.

RedDDD, I'm so sorry the flight ended up terrible. I was really hoping that everything would work out and you wouldn't run into trouble. Sounds like a nightmare, but glad the kids are better. I know that must have stressed you out so much.
yoshijo28, I can't believe that you could be responsible for another family member's illness. There are things that are completely out of everyone's control and of course we think back on how we could have done things differently in order to prevent certain things from happening. It's easy to blame yourself but you are not that powerful, and you should just keep trying to do your best like you've been doing. I'm glad you are eating more and listening to your body when you are hungry.
@ordinaryamy, can't wait to hear about your wedding. I hope all the planning is coming together and good luck with the job interviews! That sounds so promising. You have a lot of great things to look forward to!
@erin2021, I am so happy for your family. I understand not wanting to move away from your family and having YH go back and forth. It sounds like the best plan and I'm glad y'all are comfortable with it. It won't always be easy but just remember that in the long run, these tough months will be so worth it.
snarkysparklefart, awesome job without the meds! That must feel so rewarding. You are definitely stronger than you think. Do you think taking your DD for an evaluation at 4 years old would give you some peace of mind?
booksntea, I know you've been struggling with your marriage and working in counseling with YH for a while now. It really seems like you are at your wits end with this, and you should trust your gut. I think you know that your happiness does not always have to lie in one place, as in with your current husband, and there is no shame in making a change for the better. We will be here to support you. Of course it is important to think about your kids, too, in this situation, but in the end, they will benefit having parents that are genuinely at peace with themselves, even if it means getting a divorce. ((HUGS))

[spencer1337]

Sorry i missed last week. It has been really hectic here.


Please state your diagnosis and/or status:ADD, anxiety

How is your week going? It's getting better. My DH dislocated his knee on Saturday, so all of the household stuff has fallen on me, on top of taking care of him and my routine being off.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? I actually felt good that i have been handling all the chores and scheduling this week without much help. Last week in therapy though when i was talking about how overwhelmed i was about never being able to keep anything in the house clean, and how anxious it made me, the therapist made it seem like i was being obsessive about the cleanliness of the house. I dont feel that i am, but now it has me wondering if maybe i am and i just dont see it?

Any changes in medication or recent appointments?I started on wellbutrin. Im on day three. I'm just waiting to see if helps. I'm being optimistic though

GTKY: What is on your IPOD/MP3/spotify or whatever you use to listen to music? I truly am very eclectic. I will listen to almost anything but hard core rap, polka, and pop country.

[bluerainfire]

icequeen, just realize that you have to take things one step at a time. major changes don't always work out, don't punish yourself and remember baby steps.
RedDDD, cant imagine flying with kids, nor sick ones- i hate flying period= but you survived with some humor
booksntea, divorce is a hard word, no one wants it to come to that- but you have to do what is going to be best for you in the end.
yoshijo28, its hard when any close family member is sick- try not to internalize it. i know easier said the done.
spencer1337, i feel that we all have levels of clean that we can live with- some are martha stwert households, and some are not- i just think people need order- i am glad you are balancing everything
snarkysparklefart, i am glad you got to go outside!
@erin2021, congrants on things progressing, even though they are remember anything new comes with stress, just take one day at a time-
@ordinaryamy, hope things simmer down, you seem to be taking the choas well

[bluerainfire]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: ptsd, depression, anxiety

How is your week going? ok, meh

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? had a great week- got to go out with the husband for a date which is rare, enjoy playing with the kids- monday though anxiety and depression swept in- think my period is coming soon- which tends to just make me super funky- i either get migraines, or just super duper depressed- right now my brain won't shut-up, and i have pretty negative feelings towards myself

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? nope, our insurance is all figure out- so i got to go- at lease to get an anti-anxiety med when i choose-

GTKY: What is on your IPOD/MP3/spotify or whatever you use to listen to music? i am classic rock, 90's, dance girl- but really its on pandora shuffle with a lot of diffrent stations...funk music makes me happy

[Deleted]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: depression, anxiety, under treatment

How is your week going? ok

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? I got out of the house on Saturday for a creek clean-up at a beautiful reserve. It was much needed for my mental health as I've been stuck in the house sick for weeks!

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? nope.

GTKY: What is on your IPOD/MP3/spotify or whatever you use to listen to music? Music is my soundtrack to life... I have a ton of Pandora stations depending on my mood. Lately I've been listening to the Bush station (they are still my favorite band), which has lots of their songs and other grunge alternative rock from that era. I guess I am feeling nostalgic.

[snarkysparklefart]

icequeen, hugs to you. As for an evaluation for DD1, at this point we will probably be doing that. It's beyond difficult for me to say we are having concerns, but I am seeing some signs of her being so much like I was as a kid (minus some of the trauma in my life, and I hope it stays that way). The anxiety, the constant need for attention, the twitchy behavior- but she is also very intelligent... I hope that whether they find anything of concern or not, she knows that we will do what we can to help her.

I have a really, really hard time worrying that she (or DD2) will turn out just like me.

[booksntea]

icequeen and bluerainfire - thanks for your supportive words...ultimately divorce is on the table if we are not able to heal our relationship. I think staying married or divorcing would both include incredible challenges. I  am feeling better this morning, because my husband is able to admit and recognize his behavior I still think we have a chance at healing. I am working on myself everyday and H is hopefully starting to realize he needs to as well.

[runnergirl812]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: GAD

How is your week going? Meh. Okay. Ups and downs again. I'm trying to stay on top of my meds and get plenty of sleep. I'm tired and want to go back to bed most days.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? Struggling with my job still. I have a job interview on next Thursday!!!!!!!! Crossing fingers that it works out and we're a good fit. It's a job that's 100% work at home with the chance of promotion. And it's back focused on doing what I love, which is writing.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? No changes in meds. I had a therapy appt last Friday that caused me to really analyze my relationship with my BF and get real with myself. I'm still processing it all. My next psychiatrist appt is in May to discuss meds. I think she's wanting to wean me off the clonazepam, but I really don't want to wean yet. I feel like my anxiety levels are okay most days, but I'm still struggling. I do have a LOT going on. I just want peace!!!! I also have an appt this coming Tuesday to recheck my thyroid. It may be the culprit for why I feel like cow patties.

GTKY: What is on your IPOD/MP3/spotify or whatever you use to listen to music? I have a whole bunch of Spotify playlists. My favorites are "Glee Favorites," "Soundtracks/Broadway," "Work Crunk," and right now I'm listening to Spotify's Throwback Thursday.

[helloamanda]

Seems like a lot of bad weeks going on here... Sending hugs and positive vibes to all of you who need them!! ((HUGS))

Please state your diagnosis and/or status:
Depression and Anxiety

How is your week going?
My week has been very busy! I have a PT job and worked the last 3 days like crazy! I love it, but it's a little more physically challenging so my body ACHES. I've also been more anxious this week. I thought my therapist was going to be mad at me because I did something she advised me not to do anymore. My family is also visiting this weekend for my birthday, so I need to clean but my body hurts so bad. I'm going to spend all day tomorrow cleaning. My friend told me she thinks I cause my own anxiety, which is true. So I need to work on that.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?
Pushed myself to go to work when I didn't want to yesterday. I was also able to sleep without taking an Ativan. Feeling bad about my eating habits but I'm going to get back at it next week. We're having cake and Italian food this weekend for my birthday, so I'm not going to make myself feel bad about it.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments?
Had Therapy today and it went well. Talked about my stress at work.

GTKY: What is on your IPOD/MP3/spotify or whatever you use to listen to music? I use Spotify, and honestly, I listen mostly to Glee

[juliayadda]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: Depression and anxiety

How is your week going?
GOOD! I have had snippits of anxiety but generally good. I started drinking more water and getting more exercise and I feel it is improving my general mood.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?
My libido seems to have disappeared. I haven't had sex in over a month...

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? nope

GTKY: What is on your IPOD/MP3/spotify or whatever you use to listen to music?

I just got spotify and I am enjoying the First Aid Kit and Far North Folk list, New Country for 2015, and Dance Workout mixes. I feel like there is so much new to hear and discover!

[juliayadda]

icequeen, I hope you get the strength to throw out that scale.

booksntea, hugs. I truly hope you can fix your marriage. I got divorced at 25 from my first marriage. Ultimately, my ex never changed. Even now he is the same.

snarkysparklefart, I too have the same fears for my child about him suffering the same way I have. I feel like the mental health world, and especially for children has improved so much since we were kids. I feel like they are set up better to succeed. I hope so anyway.

[Deleted]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status:
Depression, started out as PPD then intensified after my insomnia got worse. Anxiety - though mostly under control.

How is your week going?
It's going ok, my sleep has been mostly okay so I'm able to cope with stress a little better.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?
My 4 year old DS is driving me nuts not wanting to go to school. Also, house hunting has officially begun and I'm stressed out already. The neighborhood we love only has old houses and I'm not a big fan (detached garages, no AC, compartmentalized living spaces). There are a quite a few that are near million or over, and even those don't look appealing. For reference, this is a medium COL area. But it's def the area we want to be in. I'm getting a headache thinking about renovation/ depressed about having to live in a house that is old and inconvenient.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments?

I'm not on any pharmaceutical meds (not sure if that's the correct term) as I either had bad reaction or my tolerance skyrocketed so much faster than others. My body went through so much trying different meds. My liver couldn't keep up and I started having vision trouble. I finally decided to go to a naturopath/acupuncturist and that is helping, and my vision is back to normal. I'm not opposed to trying a pharm med in the future, I just need someone who understands my reaction to meds better monitoring.

GTKY: What is on your IPOD/MP3/spotify or whatever you use to listen to music? I mostly listen to classical, very boring, lol. But I used to play piano so I like listening to piano pieces.