Is Everyone Hanging out Without Me? - Discussion

[wanderingheart]

I'm posting and running but this is the only time I have until later tonight, so I figured sooner rather than later to start the discussion.

Here's a couple questions to get you guys started. Feel free to discuss however you want; this kind of book is pretty easy to just talk about.

What are your thoughts? Did you like it? Hate it?

Compared to other memoirs you've read, how does this one measure up?

What was your favorite essay in the book? Why?

What parts did you find most relatable?

What are your thoughts on Mindy’s view of marriage?

ETA: spacing and stuff.

[anustart]

I love Mindy and find her hilarious so I got to read it in her voice the whole time (in my head, obviously).

The part that really stuck with me was her view on stress and how it really doesn't need to be heard or recognized. I can't imagine bottling that in all the time! However, I do feel it's often quite exaggerated.

Sorry I didn't respond to the prompts!

[Andrea]

wanderingheart, thanks for starting!!!

What are your thoughts? Did you like it? Hate it? I really liked it. I thought it was honest, funny and incredibly down to earth. Very easy read, which was nice with all of the commotion in my life at the moment

Compared to other memoirs you've read, how does this one measure up? I have read some other memoirs that have been of a more serious tone. But this is exactly what I was expecting of Mindy. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

What was your favorite essay in the book? Why? I love the essay of not peaking in high school. If I could go back in time and kick the ass of my 16 year old self, I would shove this essay down my throat.

What parts did you find most relatable? As an immigrant child of immigrant parents, I found her dynamics with her family hilariously relatable.

What are your thoughts on Mindy’s view of marriage?

I loved how she sees good marriages being between two great friends. I whole heartedly agree, any two people can say they are going to spend life together. But doing life with another human is hard work, and you want to like and respect that human to want to try and make it work no matter what gets thrown at you. People get so hung up on the wedding, but its not about that, its about a marriage and a commitment to each other. I like this little paragraph:

"i'm not saying that marriage should always be easy. but we seem to get so gloomily worked up about it these days. in the shakespearean comedies, the wedding is the end and there isn't much indication of what happily ever after will look like day to day. in real life, shouldn't a wedding be an awesome party you throw with your great pal, in the presence of a bunch of your other friends? a great day, for sure, but not the beginning and certainly not the end of your friendship with a person you can't wait to talk about gardening with for the next forty years."

[anustart]

Apr 22, 2015 14:00:16 GMT -5 Andrea said:

wanderingheart, thanks for starting!!!

What are your thoughts? Did you like it? Hate it? I really liked it. I thought it was honest, funny and incredibly down to earth. Very easy read, which was nice with all of the commotion in my life at the moment

Compared to other memoirs you've read, how does this one measure up? I have read some other memoirs that have been of a more serious tone. But this is exactly what I was expecting of Mindy. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

What was your favorite essay in the book? Why? I love the essay of not peaking in high school. If I could go back in time and kick the ass of my 16 year old self, I would shove this essay down my throat.

What parts did you find most relatable? As an immigrant child of immigrant parents, I found her dynamics with her family hilariously relatable.

What are your thoughts on Mindy’s view of marriage?

I loved how she sees good marriages being between two great friends. I whole heartedly agree, any two people can say they are going to spend life together. But doing life with another human is hard work, and you want to like and respect that human to want to try and make it work no matter what gets thrown at you. People get so hung up on the wedding, but its not about that, its about a marriage and a commitment to each other. I like this little paragraph:

"i'm not saying that marriage should always be easy. but we seem to get so gloomily worked up about it these days. in the shakespearean comedies, the wedding is the end and there isn't much indication of what happily ever after will look like day to day. in real life, shouldn't a wedding be an awesome party you throw with your great pal, in the presence of a bunch of your other friends? a great day, for sure, but not the beginning and certainly not the end of your friendship with a person you can't wait to talk about gardening with for the next forty years."

+1 for the not peaking in high school essay!

[helloerrbody]

I'm not done with it yet, but I really like it. She's pretty fun. Not quite as funny as Chelsea Handler, but I like her.

So far, my favorite essay is the one about best friends. I legit am going to copy that chapter and give it to my BFF. So true and so funny.

[rablissful]

What are your thoughts? Did you like it? Hate it? I want her to be my bff. I loved it.

Compared to other memoirs you've read, how does this one measure up? I honestly have read one other memoir, and it was more like a behind the scenes look of a movie. I'm very specific with my reading generally... Why I joined the book club, I wanted to get out of my reading norm.

What was your favorite essay in the book? Why? I loved her thoughts on peaking in high school as well. I was more on the outcast side of high school. I specifically highlighted "What I've noticed is that almost no one who was a big start in high school is also a big start later in life. For us overlooked kids, it's so wonderfully fair." (pg 33). I am a high school teacher. I see the teenaged drama. I want to shake the ones who are trying to be popular and scream THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE IMPORTANT VERY VERY SOON and hug the outcast and say it WILL get better.

What parts did you find most relatable? Her being an awkward, but wonderful, person. We share many of the same values when it comes to family (being home, eating dinner with them, getting homework done, not understanding the pull of alcohol) and she's my kind of funny, sometimes sarcastic, other times violent.

I also loved her rant on how stress is not a legitimate topic of conversation on page 75.

That being said, I don't strive for attention like she does.

What are your thoughts on Mindy’s view of marriage? I love how she views marriage as growing with your best friend abd that's she's sick of hearing how hard it is. It's obviously hard, you're with one person forever. You don't even like yourself 100% of the time, so there's bound to be ruined you don't like your partner- but you make it work.

I especially love what she said on page 186 "In real life, shouldn't a wedding be an awesome party you throw with your great pal, in the presence of a bunch of your other friends? A great day, for sure, but not the beginning and certainly not the end of your friendship with a person you can't wait to talk about gardening with for the next forty years."

Note: I'm on the kindle version, so I'm hoping my pages are the same as others.

[rablissful]

Apr 22, 2015 13:44:38 GMT -5 anustart said:

I love Mindy and find her hilarious so I got to read it in her voice the whole time (in my head, obviously).

The part that really stuck with me was her view on stress and how it really doesn't need to be heard or recognized. I can't imagine bottling that in all the time! However, I do feel it's often quite exaggerated.

Sorry I didn't respond to the prompts!

I don't think she meant you have to keep it bottled up to your friends, but as a co-worker or acquaintance she doesn't want to hear about it. I'm the same way. We're all stressed out, I don't need or want to hear about your (in general) stress every day of my life.

[teenybenoit]

I liked it, was very easy reading compared to The Red Tent and was really enjoyable. Her friendships reminded me of mine, I'm still besties with my girlfriend since we were 14 years old.

[ceejay]

What are your thoughts? Did you like it? Hate it? I really liked this book. It was easy to read, and I often found myself laughing out loud while I read.

Compared to other memoirs you've read, how does this one measure up? I honestly don't think I have read any other "memoirs." I was expecting this book to have more of an overall flow... it started out relatively chronologically through her life, but then kind of jumped around to various mini-essays. I didn't dislike that... I just didn't expect it to be that way.

What was your favorite essay in the book? Why? I liked the peaking in high school essay too. I also really liked the line that rablissful quoted: "What I've noticed is that almost no one who was a big start in high school is also a big start later in life. For us overlooked kids, it's so wonderfully fair." I was fairly unpopular in high school and could relate to a lot of what she said.

I also liked the "Types of Women in Romantic Comedies Who Are Not Real" essay. Because I've seen a whole lot of romantic comedies in my life and totally knew what she was talking about.

And as someone who loves The Office, I really enjoyed the inside info about that show - like how the writers interacted with each other and what kind of person Steve Carrell is. 

What parts did you find most relatable? All of it...? Seriously though, I felt like I was reading something written by my sister. My younger sister does improv and performs regularly in Chicago. She is also an aspiring writer and often writes funny posts/essays on her blog. Mindy's writing style reminded me a lot of my sister's, so really the whole book felt very familiar to me. 

What are your thoughts on Mindy’s view of marriage? I liked it. DH is definitely my best friend, and we genuinely enjoy spending time together. Sometimes we argue because our relationship is usually more like a good friendship, and I'd like to have a little more romance in my life. But if I had choose between romance and friendship, I'd choose friendship any day, and I really am thankful for DH.

[peaseblossom55]

What are your thoughts? Did you like it? Hate it? I did not like it at all, I couldn't wait to be done with it.

Compared to other memoirs you've read, how does this one measure up? It was boring and I didn't find it funny

What was your favorite essay in the book? Why? None

What parts did you find most relatable? Not sure

What are your thoughts on Mindy’s view of marriage? I didn't hate it.

I wish I enjoyed the book more, I really wanted to but couldn't. Her road to success was very interesting though because I didn't know that much about her.

[wanderingheart]

I liked the book, but I wouldn't say I loved it. I love the Office, but Mindy is not my favorite comedian/actress.

That said, the book was hard for me to follow because it was just a bunch of essays instead of one story like I thought it would be. I found her story of how she got her start interesting. Maybe I'm just not a huge fan of memoirs.

I liked her view on marriage, because I think friendship is so important. MH and I have a long story, but we were best friends for three years before we started dating so, for us, that foundation was really important when we started dating.

I'm a rebel and didn't even follow my own guideline for questions. #dontcurr

[wirt2cute]

What are your thoughts? Did you like it? Hate it? I loved it. I actually listened to the audio book which was read my Mindy Kaling and she just made it even greater because she put her on twist on her written words. The audible book was only 4 hours and 37 minutes.

Compared to other memoirs you've read, how does this one measure up? I haven't read many memoirs so I don't have anything to compare it to.

What was your favorite essay in the book? Why? I loved when she talked about her high school friendships click group the group that she so loved to be around and go to the cheesecake factory and even had that best friend gear, and how when she finally realized what a true friend was she was able to let go of that group. When she said about her true friend "We never needed best friend gear because I guess with real friends you don't have to make it official. It just is.” I love this line.

What parts did you find most relatable? When she was talking about the soccer player how used to pick on her because she was fat. Because of this she lost weight, and thought that the taunts and being made fun of would stop, but it keep going. In middle school I was that chubby girl being made fun of, but once I got to high school and learned how to work my curves and then the taunts stopped.

What are your thoughts on Mindy’s view of marriage? None really. I love that my H is one of my best friends.

[thelittleredm]

I loved this book! I was cracking up frequently. I feel like Mindy and I would be besties IRL lol

I mostly read funny memoirs soooo...but this one takes the cake. Mostly because it isn't just her ridiculously funny moments in life, but a good mix of everything.

Oh man. Hm. I loved them all! Particularly the one about her shifting views on friendship during high school.

Honestly, I found all of it relatable. It's probably why I like her so much.

I agree with her so much on the marriage aspect. I see way to many of my friends act like it's supposed to be a big party and then rough times hit and they're ready to call it quits.

[cheshie6]

What are your thoughts? Did you like it? Hate it? I thought it was funny and she is someone I can relate to.

Compared to other memoirs you've read, how does this one measure up? This was probably one of the better ones I've read.

What was your favorite essay in the book? Why? Tie 1) When she wrote about her friends living in an apartment. How everyone was all about Sex and the City because it was true. My sister (and everyone) was Carrie or a Samantha. Very few of her friends wanted to be Charlotte or Miranda. I'm a Charlotte! 2) When she talked about being a heavy and why she lost weight twice. That hit close to home to me! Always had issues with my weight.

What parts did you find most relatable? Her weight issues. See above

What are your thoughts on Mindy’s view of marriage? I love that! I also loved her view of weddings! (read on ipad so I don't know if my pages line up either) We put so much pressure on the day and the bride being a princess for that day but when its all over, what's left? I feel like a lot of women (my sister included) plan that day meticulously but forget to plan the marriage. Maybe UO, I personally dislike when I hear people say, "this was the obvious next step," like they had to move up on the game of life. Like she said, that day isn't the beginning (because Duh, you've dated this person for how long?) and not the end but more of a big party for you and your best friend.

[14joa31]

What are your thoughts? Did you like it? Hate it?

This book is a cozy slumber party in your parents' basement with all of your best girlfriends. You are doing each other's hair, painting each other's nails and you KNOW you are gossiping about boys! I loved this book for so many reasons.

Compared to other memoirs you've read, how does this one measure up?

I really love how high-level and classy that Mindy Kaling kept this book. I feel like a lot of other memoirs are wayyy too TMI. And when I read it, I felt like I could hear her telling it in her own voice - so I think she was really true to herself in it.

What was your favorite essay in the book? Why?

There are a few here - the chapter entitled "Jewish Guys" knocked me out of my chair laughing. I love, LOVE smart guys - so I went through a phase where I only dated Jewish guys (I am Catholic). I didn't think that her observations on Jewish guys were very interesting - I just loved that she had the balls to name a chapter "Jewish Guys." I also loved how she called out ALL men for taking ten minutes to put on their shoes. When DH and I started dating, I found his shoe horn and was like "What the Hell is This Thing?" It does indeed take him ten minutes to put on his shoes - and yes, he HAS to be sitting down to do it, untie his shoelaces, retie, re-tighten, etc. This essay was spot-on.

What parts did you find most relatable?

I will echo what everyone else has said - I love the part about not peaking in high school. I was super nerd in high school. I only cared about making the honor roll. I had a small group of friends, but that was good enough for me. Trying to be cool was not even on my radar. But my high school friends and I also had a diner where we loved to hang out for hours. Like Mindy, we probably drove our servers nuts for hogging a table all night and barely ordering anything!

What are your thoughts on Mindy’s view of marriage?

I loved getting the single woman's perspective on marriage. I have actually heard a few of my friends echo it - married people do not make marriage look like fun. I admit that I am also guilty of this. I love my husband, but he also drives me bat-shit crazy sometimes with his little idiosyncracies. So when I come from home to happy hour or dinner with my single girlfriends, he has probably done something to piss me off in the 30 minutes before I have left the house. So at HH, I don't discuss my marriage - lol! I admit that the good far outweighs the bad in marriage - but I need to make more of an effort to a) appreciate it and b) let it shine so that my single friends can know that marriage is a good thing.

[Deleted]

What are your thoughts? Did you like it? Hate it? I really enjoyed it. I finished it in a few days. It was especially awesome because she narrated the audiobook herself.

Compared to other memoirs you've read, how does this one measure up? It was my first, so it was a great introduction to the genre (is memoirs a genre?). I now want to read some other ones.

What was your favorite essay in the book? Why? Its so hard to pick one! I guess "Don't Peak in High School". Like many people, I could relate and it is nice to think on how much better life has gotten since high school. I was such an awkward teenager. I also really enjoyed the parts about "The Office". I am a huge fan of the show, so it is fun to hear some behind the scenes info.

What parts did you find most relatable? Well obviously what I said above. Also when she talked about being overweight. I admire how well she has accepted and loved herself.

What are your thoughts on Mindy’s view of marriage? I enjoyed her view on this. I have a lot of people in my life that like to talk about how hard marriage is and how stressed they are about life. My relationship with DH started as a friendship and I am glad that part of us has always been important. I wish I could say more on this, but I am struggling to remember what she said and I am too lazy to try and find it in the audiobook.

[stephiestark]

I missed this because I was out of town. I hate to bump an older thread but...BUMP!

What are your thoughts? Did you like it? Hate it?
I did and did not like it. It was an easy read which was enjoyable but it felt very disjointed.

Compared to other memoirs you've read, how does this one measure up?
This is the first memoir I've ever read. I bought Jim Gaffigan's Food: A Love Story recently for my husband so I may read that.

What was your favorite essay in the book? Why?
I liked Types of Women in Romantic Comedies Who Are Not Real. I also liked the story about her photo shoot when she made the stylist put her in the outfit she wanted.

What parts did you find most relatable?
Just the overall story of her trying and failing to break into her industry. I like when people who work hard for what they want in life are rewarded.

What are your thoughts on Mindy’s view of marriage?
I liked how she described her parents as pals. I would like to think that marriage is not "work" and that by doing small things for your significant other, you can improve your marriage without even realizing it.

[becwheat]

I am soo behind... but I had to give my .02.

I love Mindy as a whole. I love her show, loved her on the office, love her tweets and interviews and love her comedy show writing.

That being said, I did not love the book. After reading Bossy Pants (Tina Fey) and Yes Please! (Amy Poeler) I feel like it fell flat. There were parts I enjoyed, but overall I was very Blah about it.