Med Free Monday check in (4/27)

[Deleted]

Happy Monday, med free ladies!

Thoughts, feelings, appointments, concerns, questions?  Bring it all here.

QOTW:   What motivated you to pursue med free birth for this LO?

[bruunk]

I'm feeling a little less confidant about it. I talked to my mom and DH about what it could be like and both my mom and I talked about me panicking after getting checked and only being 2 cm after hours of labor or something. That's my biggest fear - that I think I'm making progress, that I think it's going great, and I find out I'm not even to 3 cm. DH and mom both assured me that they'd help coach me, but I'm still worried.

QOTW: I'm not a huge fan of needles, and I watched my mom give birth to my sister med free, it was never really a thought that I wouldn't do it med free. After research, the med free route seemed the best route for us.

[Deleted]

We had our intake meeting with our doula this past week and I am feel so much more confident about my plan. She is just so calm, and quiet, and strong. I feel like I'm going to be able to just focus on myself and managing with her running interference with the hospital staff. My doc is on board with our plan, I have the support I want/need, and yet last night I was incredibly sad that I'll be doing this at the hospital instead of the MW birthing center across the street. Too late to change now. I think the big unknown for me is the hospital staff and what their attitudes will be. I don't want any negativity in the room with me, period, and I feel like I am constantly bombarded with comments from people who don't understand my wishes or just want to buy into fear based birth. I'm finding it hard to just ignore those voices without letting them get under my skin and am afraid of things being a fight at the hospital. But again, that's why we have a doula.

QOTW: I just feel like with my first birth I was so paralyzed by fear of the unknown that I completely shut down, decided to just get the baby out any which way, without feeling it, and never bothered to take time to educate myself about options and alternatives and the research behind them. I also think that lead to some interventions that had long term, negative effects and I want to avoid them this time. Plus I now trust my body to do what it needs to do, having done it before. I don't fully know how to explain it. I just need things to be more natural this time

ETA: I also think the fact that we went through such an artificial process to get here plays a role in my decision.   I just want/need any part of this pregnancy to be my body working the way nature intended on its own. 

[periwinkledaydreams]

pbubblegum, I'm reading, using the CD and practicing the techniques from Hypnobirthing: The Mongan Method, so similar I'm sure but not entirely the same.

So far I am loving it for the relaxation techniques it has brought me, I've actually managed some decent sleep in the 2 weeks I've practiced which I was NOT getting ANY of before. I have some major anxiety issues going on during this pregnancy and I've had a noticeable relief. As far as labor and delivery I really like how she explains the effects on the process logically and medically, which helps me translate it to the "western medicine" standard that I'm likely to be surrounded by in a hospital setting. She explains how and why the techniques work to let go of fear, reduce stress and eliminate tension in the muscles and therefor decrease pain and the need for intervention with pain relief. I'm not doing a class or anything, I'm kind of highlighting the parts I like best and plan to use to will ask my OB if she'll read them and she how on board she is. So far she just seems to like that I'm thinking and planning ahead at all.


QOTW: As soon as I learned that an epidural would mean giving up the ability to change positions at will and move about freely, it lost any appeal to me. Not that I know from experience being a FTM but it just feels really important to me that I be able to move how my body feels inclined at that time. I also have a pre-existing condition in my sacro-iliac joint (hip/low back connection) that makes it medically unsafe to have lack of feeling and control over that joint, and the worst possible position I could be in would be on my back with other people controlling my legs so an epidural is pretty much out. I haven't necessarily ruled out any and all meds and am trying to keep an open mind approach at this point.

[periwinkledaydreams]

@jimbobcooter, I'm right there with you 100% on wanting to rid my space of any negativity and fear mongering. I'm feeling really calm and confident and unafraid and I want to remain that way! I think that is my top priority since I'm also going to be giving birth in a hospital, is to make sure that any and all medical personnel who are going to be involved with my birthing know that they are not to be throwing around unnecessary crap terminology just because that is the way things are done. I don't want an assembly line birth, I guess. I'm hoping to just be allowed to trust my body to labor however my body does it without interference unless of course there is some kind of emergency that requires intervention. I'm thinking my best bet is going to be lots and lots of conversation with my OB, and staying home as long as possible before going to the hospital!

[Deleted]

I will definitely labor at home as long as possible. My doula will come here to be with me and help us decide when it's time to go but I also feel like that is such a fine line. I don't want to wait to long to leave, but I also do want to get there too early.

[flbabychin]

Hi ladies! I haven't posted here before in the check-in, but wanted to join the discussion, as I am planning for a med free birth as well.

pbubblegum & periwinkledaydreams, I am also doing Hypnobirthing: The Mongan Method, and I start the classes with DH on Thursday evening. I've done some of the relaxation meditations and read through some scripts, and I am extremely excited to get started practicing them more regularly.

I also wanted to get a little advice on my OB as well. As some background, I was in the process of moving across the country when I found out I was pregnant, and I switched health insurance, providers, all that jazz. I got down to my new town and just looked for an OB that would be covered by my HMO and could deliver at a decent hospital. To be quite honest, I think I was a little clueless about how to go about finding midwife and delivering in a place other than a hospital. Anyhow, fast forwarding to now, I like my OB and he has seemed pretty supportive so far. However, my last appointment, he started pushing the epi and looked at me and DH funny when I mentioned that we were doing Hypnobirthing. I have an appt Wed and plan to ask him some questions about our plan to make sure it's all kosher (not getting an IV, walking around during labor, etc - which our hospital defaults to our OB for), and I want to talk a bit more specifically about my preferences. Last time when I said I wanted to try without an epi and to do it naturally, he said that whatever I want to do is fine, but that he would get an epi if he had a choice. I feel like that is minimally supportive, and I guess I wonder how to talk to him about this in the most effective way so that I feel heard.

I'd like a med free birth because I believe it's better for the baby, and that women have been doing this for ages. I don't want to go in with fear or anxiety, when I believe that I can manage that in alternative ways.

[wormgerm]

Meeting a doula tonight and I really hope we hit it off. Husband and I are introverted go with the flow un-squeaky wheel types. I am concerned with being steam rolled into unnecessary interventions and winding up with a c-section that could otherwise be avoided. If there is a real emergency that required him to be cut out fine.

My whys:
-I really want to be in control of my body during such a vulnerable time. I want to be able to move and open my hips to get him out with as little trauma (emotional and physical) as possible.
-I'm also super comitted to breastfeeding and want to start out on the best foot because I know it's going to be rough to learn.
-I'm really interested in the endorphin rush and that immediate bonding time. It's so cool to see and read about.
-I want to see my body accomplish something amazing. I've never been good at anything. I needed help to get pregnant, I was an average student and didn't manage to get a job using my skills out of college, I was never and athlete, my art was never good enough to be recognized, my physical appearance is nothing special, I didn't drive until I was 21. There is so much meh in my history that I really want to be awesome at something. Maybe that's shitty but this is something new and I might be good at it! I at least want to give it my all even if it doesn't go the way I want it to.

[mathistm]

I am super bummed I just got through the whole hypnobirthing book to find that the cd was missing out of the back! I ordered a cd and am waiting patiently for its arrival.
I am feeling pretty good regarding my med free plan, or lack thereof. I know what I want, and my husband knows what I want but I haven't gotten to formulating anything concrete. I definitely want to have something, and our hospital makes you fill out a small one page sheet of your preferences but my plan is to basically go with the flow with as little intervention as possible. I have an Ob but have had many conversations with him regarding the upcoming birth and he is on board with everything. My husband will be the only person in the delivery room with me and he is as well.

Possible trigger alert*
I chose to pursue a med free birth because of my firm belief in the mind-body connection and how much your mind and body can tolerate in the right circumstances. I have not always been like this. I experienced a sexual assault when I was a freshman in college and spent quite a few years experiencing a lot of anxiety when it came to anything with womanhood. I would have panic attacks for Pap smears, sex, or even getting my period due to the trauma I experienced. I eventually entered therapy to work through it all with my amazing therapist, met my now husband, and became a therapist and meditation instructor. I had always feared that childbirth would be a huge trigger to that trauma and I am more comfortable with being in as much control as possible during labor. I'm not fearful that it will bring up the trauma anymore because of where I've been able to get myself mentally. I think your mind is a super powerful thing and plays a huge role in your physical experience.

[wink568]

My first time participating in this thread, but I'm very glad it's here! I've been feeling pretty good ever since I took the birthing class offered by my hospital, but as the date gets closer I find myself a bit more... scared isn't the right word, but I'm having a hard time describing. Apprehensive maybe? Doesn't help that a girlfriend of mine was getting text updates from another friend in labor, and one of the comments was about how hard the girl in the next room was screaming through her med free labor. Thank goodness I'm not delivering at that hospital. During our hospital tour, the L&D area was very peaceful and the staff seemed super supportive. I just need to remind myself that all the anecdotal stories I hear about how bad med free birth is usually comes from women who weren't planning on doing it, because the key words I hear are how scared they were going in, and all that. First thing they taught us in class is Fear = Tension = Pain.

My OB said we'll be discussing a birth plan in our next appointment. I'm sure that'll put me right back into the same positive mind frame that birthing class did.

My reasoning is much the same as the others. I want to stay on my feet as much as I can through the process and have flexibility to change positions, I want to have the best opportunity when it comes to breastfeeding, and I hate the idea of such a large needle. Also, my hospital is one of the few in the area that will make the spouse leave during the epidural. I want him at my side as much as possible through the whole process.

[periwinkledaydreams]

Thank you for sharing from your past, mathistm. I also survived a similar experience during that time period of my life, and did not necessarily deal all that well or completely with it. I just started seeing a therapist to help me coping with chronic pain and anxiety during this pregnancy, and although I hadn't thought about the connection much before, my past traumatic experiences are something I'll definitely want to work on with her. Thanks for your insights and openness.

[mathistm]

periwinkledaydreams
Not a problem at all. I wish you the best in exploring and healing from your past experiences! I don't want to overstep but I like to share a resource that really, really helped me in my journey with getting to a better place. The book The Sexual Healing Journey by Wendy Maltz was amazing. My therapist had recommended it to me and I would read and we would discuss and explore in session. I recommend it now to my clients who have experienced any similar trauma. It is a combination of a self-guided work book and a lot of psychoeducation about why feelings resurface.

[dogmama22]

I'm feeling pretty confident now that we're almost finished with our Lamaze class and we did our hospital tour. I feel like I'll be equipped with the physical and mental resources I need to do this. I did note in another thread that my doctor already brought up the possibility of a c-section and others agreed that it was probably a little early to be bringing that up for the situation. I'm hoping she was only bringing it up so that I could mentally prepare for the possibility, so that's what I'm trying to do. Knowing it's a possibility has really strengthened my resolve to go natural. I even dreamed that I had a c-section and I was so disappointed. Again, still working on mentally preparing and reminding myself that a healthy baby is really the number one priority, not matter how he or she arrives.
QOTW: I think I mentioned this last week, but my first motivation was just hearing from my mom that she did it with both of us so that showed me that I could do it too. Later, I watched the Ricki Lake's The Business of Being Born, which is a bit extreme, but it really explained the "why" of going as natural as possible.

[noeliav]

QOTW:
I had a great birth experience with DD (pain-med free), so I cannot imagine wanting to not do this one pain-med free, too. Initially, I wanted to pursue a med-free birth with DD because I had seen friends and family not have good birth experiences with their various med births and I wanted to avoid as much of that as possible.

Update:
34w appointment this morning, and all is well. Just focused on keeping this an inside baby for at least 3 more weeks.

[mathistm]

Apr 27, 2015 12:50:49 GMT -5 @kej0004 said:

Is anyone else hoping to have a med-free birth without doing any of the mainstream "strategies" (Lamaze, Hypno, etc.)?

Knowing myself and looking into the basics of most of the strategies I've seen, I just know I wouldn't be able to buy in to them. I'm taking more of the armed with knowledge route and hoping for the best. Am I setting myself up for failure?

Just curious what you are planning to do while you are in pain and having contractions to get through the pain?

[mathistm]

I don't think you guys are setting yourselves up for failure by not buying into the "mainstream strategies" as long as you are buying into some sort of way to cope with the pain and practicing it. I think knowing as much as you can about the process helps but when you are having contractions I think it's more of the exercises that help rather than knowing the logistics of what is going on.
Also you have to expect that there is going to be pain. A lot of the people who have described it to me have described it as being really sick for one day, which I find manageable.

[teenybird]

I'm late to this party, but also hoping/planning for a med free birth. I was trying not to get my hopes up before, because baby remained stubbornly breech for a long ass time. But, he's now flipped and settling in a little lower - so I'm finally hopeful we can do things the not-cutty-sharp-things way (our hospital doesn't allow breech vaginal trials).

Our childbirth class focused a lot on breathing, relaxation, and visual/physical techniques to manage discomfort, and our hospital has a birth unit with tubs, birthing balls/stools/bars, etc. to use...so I'm hoping all of these things come in handy come due day. DH helps me practice breathing and focusing techniques and has been super supportive of trying the med free route, too, which definitely helps. The hospital/midwives are surprisingly supportive of med free birth; I was surprised at how low their epidural rate is.

I know that med free is what I really want (especially because med free means no pain meds going to baby and causing sluggishness or other complications during the magic hour), but given how many icky surprises we've had along the way, I'm going to take it a few minutes at a time during labor before making or agreeing to anything "big." Ultimately, I trust my midwife practice, and feel like they're really pro-birth plan - but I know shit happens sometimes. I feel good about collaborating with them and DH in the decision-making process. DH promised to help me advocate for us, too, and I have a lot of confidence in him (must be the hormones haha...).


*edited for typing fail on phone

[bruunk]

Apr 27, 2015 11:59:54 GMT -5 @pcrunk said:

Is anyone nervous that the methods they've chosen for pain management won't work and then wtf is going to happen? Because that has honestly been my biggest concern. I'm still trying to be very go with the flow about it and know the nurses will be helpful. But I am minorly concerned I'm going to have a freak out moment over it if it happens.

Yup - that's my fear! I know that if I remember that this pain is doing something good vs bad (like we usually experience pain - broken bones, illness, etc), I will be ok. I just worry that I'll panic or I'll get discouraged and then it will spiral into my freaking out. I think the going with flow will have to be a mantra or I'm going to freak out. 

[ladymouse]

32 week appointment/ultrasound tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it. Yeah, my baby is likely to be big. You still can't convince me to schedule a c-section before 41 weeks, and I find it highly annoying when you try.

Still going through morning sickness. DH is out of town all week, so no naps for me either. But DS is sweet, cute, hilarious, and SO interested in the outdoors, and the little one is still active with no known problems other than "probably big", so overall, everything is awesome.

QOTW: I lost the genetic lottery when it comes to medication reactions, and I don't want to put my unborn child through my body's insanity. This time, though, I've already had basically all the medications they are likely to use (no pitocin, mercifully), so it's not a huge deal if I don't end up med-free. I still want to know what natural birth feels like, though, and unless someone dodges a vasectomy without telling me, this is my last shot.  (ETA: I also have some very bad hospital experiences and only trust nurses/doctors as far as I can throw them.  So... I don't like giving them the power to incapacitate me.  That said, I had mostly really good nurses at this hospital last time, and one vaguely-confused-but-basically-competent nurse, so I don't have the same degree of nauseating terror at the prospect of going in as I did last time.  The hospital volunteers drove me batty, but they were only affecting my sleep/invading my personal space.)

[jcprn]

I'm feeling really good about it right now. I'm going to hypnobirthing classes and the more I talk about it with my mom and DH the better I feel about it. I think the mind-body connection can be so strong. My next classes are going to be the next 3 Wednesdays and I'm so looking forward to them, as long as I don't go into labor before they're done seeing as how I'll be 37 weeks during the last class! My mom is going with me to them since DH works evenings and I think she likes it/ finds it really neat too. She had my oldest sister with an epidural and then had my other sister and I naturally with just lamaze. I feel like if she could do it (I was 9.5lbs) I can do it too.

DH and I went to a childbirth class at my hospital over the weekend that basically went over everything that could happen during labor and I thought it was good to really get prepared of every scenario just in case. But it strangely made me more confident in my choice to be med-free. The L&D nurse who ran it said that probably 85% of people who deliver get epidurals. Crazy!

I plan on having a doula provided by the hospital. One of the doulas spoke at the hospital childbirth classes and I just feel like they will be so valuable to me on the day. And I'm really hoping they'll help DH keep it together.

QOTW: I have no idea what initially turned me on to med-free. I've done so many things this pregnancy that I didn't think I would: being team green, planning to cloth diaper, wanting to go med-free. But the more I learn about it, the more I feel like I can really do it. And the L&D nurse also said that the people who are successful with med-free births are the ones who go into it telling themselves that they can do it, not the ones that say they are scared of the interventions. You have to really believe it.

[noname83]

A little late to the check in

I have my 32 week appointment on Thursday. Also, supposed to have my first prenatal visit/meeting with the Doula tonight. I emailed her to confirm yesterday, and called her today (and went straight to VM), and haven't heard back. Which is really bizarre, because she's been very very responsive before. I hope nothing is wrong!

We also have the full day Natural Childbirth class at the hospital on Sunday. I haven't looked into any specific techniques (hypnobirthing, mongan, etc) yet, but I figured after the class I'd have a better idea of what I think will work for me since they don't focus on just one. Plus, the hospital has tubs which I think I will definitely be up for laboring in. I made up my mind about going med free before I was pregnant and did a lot of research into local hospitals that are supportive of that. I've heard really good things about the hospital where I'm delivering, and the midwife group.

QOTW: What motivated you to pursue med free birth for this LO?

I've always erred on the side of putting less chemicals, medicines, anything "foreign" into my body. (ETA: While I realize this is NOTHING even close to childbirth, it's an extremely simplified example/analogy) With minor things like headaches I have always gone the route of wait it out as long as possible before taking any medication. It was just a natural progression with childbirth for me to go as natural as possible. Then, I started doing some research about the benefits, and cascading interventions and it sealed the deal for me. I have a fear of having to be induced, getting an epidural because the pain is worse with pitocin (from my understanding), that slowing everything down, and needing a C section. Not that I wouldn't get one if medically necessary, I just don't want it to become medically necessary if I can help it. I'm fairly certain I'm being somewhat irrational, but that's what is going through my mind.

[wormgerm]

noname83 maybe she's at a birth?

[noname83]

wormgerm, she texted me about 30 seconds after I posted. She has a stomach bug and a fever. So, obviously we're off for tonight.

[ladysif]

I'm still not 100% sure I go here but I am going to try for it again this time around. I'm thinking since it *should* be shorter and I'm more stretched out (sorry TMI), it might work this time. Honestly a lot will depend on if I have to be induced again, whether I go into labor during the day or overnight, and whether I get stuck again with contractions with no breaks for hours and no progression.

I didn't have much of a birth plan with DS1 but I was glad that I made clear I wanted no one to suggest meds to me. It was absolutely an elephant in the room by the time I opted for it, but I wanted it to be 100% MY decision and not influenced by anyone's suggestion, not even DH's. I'll also do the tub again, that helped a lot, and the ball, and then I took lamaze so will use those tactics best I am able.

[baileybaileybne]

At first when people asked me I was so far on the epidural train I didn't believe I'd have any second thoughts.
Then came my antenatal classes.
They went through the main options: gas, pethidine, epidural.
I don't mind the idea of gas, but pethidine is the pits: I have such a low tolerance to drugs I feel very nauseous and drunk for days after. I don't want my LO to be a challenge because I'm drugged and hung over!
Then the epidural thing became a lot more real when they showed a video (eek!) of it being put in and the reality of a catheter and numbness set in.
So now, I'm seriously considering avoiding the whole mess and trying to go med free!
My DH surprised me when I was panicking after the class, saying he thinks I have a high pain threshold and may well be able to pull it off. He is more confident than me at this point but I'm really starting to think about it. The hospital is supportive of how ever little or much intervention I want.
So what I'm saying is, I'm going to be lurking this post in the coming weeks for information and some pep-talks to see if I can commit: thanks in advance!

[amber311]

Late to the party but med free for me as well. Thanks for starting the discussion! We are doing lamaze. Loving it so far! Decided med free because the thought of an epidural is terrifying. Being out of control of my body is not for me