I just snapped at my OB
Apr 28, 2015 10:05:52 GMT -5
Post by sarahufl on Apr 28, 2015 10:05:52 GMT -5
Today marks the one month post-op from my Ectopic Pregnancy, 2 more months to go before we are cleared to try again. I am still not mentally THERE for the starting trying thing, but we'll see.
Anyway, I had been feeling really good- both mentally and physically. Sunday, my belly button started really hurting (where the largest incision was) after being fine for about 2 weeks. It started oozing snotty looking puss and was crusty and gross. Yesterday it was all red and itchy and still sore. I kind of broke down about it to H last night- I just want to feel NORMAL again. It's like- ok, body, I get it. I am not pregnant. You win. It is just this constant reminder of all the crap. It's been SIX WEEKS since I found out my pregnancy wasn't viable and I just want to move on with my life. I just want to stop hurting, to stop being reminded daily about this whole shit.
I made an appt to see my OB today because I was worried it was infected. I have been going to this practice for years, long before even talking about TTC, but I had been seeing the same doctor. Since I got pregnant, I have rotated through all the doctors at the practice and the one I saw this morning was new. She was very nice, super friendly and talkative, she assured me my belly button was fine and cleaned it for me. Then she launched into a whole talk about how while, yes, I am at a higher risk of an Ectopic, there is no reason to think it will happen again. And I asked why not- I had no reason to think it would happen this time but 100% of my pregnancies have been Ectopic, so I am understandably a bit on the anxious side.
So she said I will get pregnant and I will have my baby. I knew she was saying it to be nice, but it really rubbed me the wrong way. I sort of lost it- I said, look- I already lost one tube and I have a higher risk of this happening again, so how can you guarantee I will have a baby? She said she can't guarantee it but she knows I will. And I basically told her she has no business telling anyone that because it may not be true. She felt bad and apologized. I know she was trying to be nice, but today wasn't the morning for that.
So, aside from the fact that I got Dunkin Donuts iced coffee this morning, it's been a pretty shitty day.
Anyway, I had been feeling really good- both mentally and physically. Sunday, my belly button started really hurting (where the largest incision was) after being fine for about 2 weeks. It started oozing snotty looking puss and was crusty and gross. Yesterday it was all red and itchy and still sore. I kind of broke down about it to H last night- I just want to feel NORMAL again. It's like- ok, body, I get it. I am not pregnant. You win. It is just this constant reminder of all the crap. It's been SIX WEEKS since I found out my pregnancy wasn't viable and I just want to move on with my life. I just want to stop hurting, to stop being reminded daily about this whole shit.
I made an appt to see my OB today because I was worried it was infected. I have been going to this practice for years, long before even talking about TTC, but I had been seeing the same doctor. Since I got pregnant, I have rotated through all the doctors at the practice and the one I saw this morning was new. She was very nice, super friendly and talkative, she assured me my belly button was fine and cleaned it for me. Then she launched into a whole talk about how while, yes, I am at a higher risk of an Ectopic, there is no reason to think it will happen again. And I asked why not- I had no reason to think it would happen this time but 100% of my pregnancies have been Ectopic, so I am understandably a bit on the anxious side.
So she said I will get pregnant and I will have my baby. I knew she was saying it to be nice, but it really rubbed me the wrong way. I sort of lost it- I said, look- I already lost one tube and I have a higher risk of this happening again, so how can you guarantee I will have a baby? She said she can't guarantee it but she knows I will. And I basically told her she has no business telling anyone that because it may not be true. She felt bad and apologized. I know she was trying to be nice, but today wasn't the morning for that.
So, aside from the fact that I got Dunkin Donuts iced coffee this morning, it's been a pretty shitty day.