Differences on children.

[Deleted]

Would a child break up a relationship for you?

My boyfriend has wanted children for the longest time.  I've never seen myself as a mother.  I wouldn't ever just have one to please him. It wouldn't be fair to anyone in our family.

Is there anything wrong with not being ready for a child at age 30?

[LadyNymeria]

I generally hang out on GKU, but I'm not sure how active it is over here so I figured I'd answer.

There's nothing wrong with not being ready for a child at 30. Absolutely nothing. Some people have the desire to be a mother, some people don't. There's nothing wrong with being on either side of that.

At the same time, a disagreement in the desire to have children between a couple in a relationship is a big deal to me. I personally believe it to be one of the things that really needs to be discussed sooner rather than later. How long have you been together?

My husband and I had been dating about 5 months when we had the kids talk. We talked about whether each of us wanted children and how many we could see ourselves having. I absolutely love my husband with all my heart, but if he had told me he never intended to have children, I would have questioned whether it was the right relationship for me to be in.

This is certainly something to spend some time thinking about what's best for you, your boyfriend, and your futures. Good luck.

[Deleted]

LadyNymeria and @ismellbooks have both articulated my feelings pretty well. There is nothing wrong with you not wanting kids, but depending on what you and your BF each want from the relationship, it could be a deal breaker.

Good luck as you figure this out!

[ladyvenice]

I think it depends on what you want from your relationship with your BF. If he's your boyfriend, but you don't imagine you'll be spending the rest of your lives together, then it wouldn't be a deal breaker. If you do, then I would end it anyway. It's not fair on either of you.

It's okay to not want children, and it's okay to want children. It's not okay to have a child that you don't want because someone else wants you to have one, and its not okay to not let your SO have a child just because you don't want one.

[Deleted]

I totally agree that it's a deal breaker. I was in a relationship like that, but I was the one who wanted kids.
With DH, I asked him when we were barely dating a month if he wanted kids... it freaked him out a bit, but I told him it was important to know we wanted the same things and I didn't want to waste my time with someone who didn't want kids.

And, there is nothing wrong with not feeling ready for kids at 30. I don't think it's linked to age, but more linked with your life/situation.