GTKY - The One That Got Away

[aimeefarrahfowler]

I've been feeling kind of nostalgic about the men in my past lately, and I thought this might be a fun topic... Do you have anyone in your past you consider "the one that got away"? Anyone that you sometimes think how different your life could have been if you were with them instead?

[cookiesandwine]

Woof, nope lol

[tribute17]

I don't have any that got away unless you count my 6th grade boyfriend. But he is currently living with his parents and has no education or job so not really.

[aimeefarrahfowler]

Preface this by saying, obviously I love my husband, he's the love of my life, blah blah blah. I've just been feeling nostalgic lately. Apologize in advance for the novel. Maybe get some popcorn

My "one that got away" is a guy named Mike. He was the manager of a store that I worked at through college. From the moment I sat down at the interview for the job with him, I was like "this guy is so hot", then the second thing I noticed was his wedding ring (sad trombone noise). To this day, he was one of the best people I've ever known in my life. So funny, charming, nice. Just someone everyone loved to be around. We were a pretty tight crew at the store, and we'd go out to happy hours and have parties and things like that off the clock. I was 19 when I started working at the store, and he was about 5 years older than me.

Like I said, I was attracted to him instantly and loved him the whole time we worked together. He was married, and my boss, so totally off limits, but it didn't stop me from crushing hard. We would flirt in the goofy way that coworkers do, but never anything serious. He and his wife had a baby the last year we worked together. Then he got offered a job a few hours away in another state and moved there. They moved into a big house with a pool and invited everyone from the store up a few times for a weekend.

The last time we went to their house, it was the 4th of July and I went up with my friend and my sister (who I got jobs at the store) and their boyfriends. I was bummed because the guy I was seeing at the time had just kind of fallen off the earth and stopped returning my calls/texts and I was spending the weekend with three couples. So I drank lots all weekend.

The last night we were there, everyone else went to bed and Mike and I stayed up talking and doing shots. He put on a movie and somehow we ended up cuddling on the couch, completely initiated by him. It was mostly PG and nothing really happened, but it was ... intense. Lots of hands places and heavy breathing. At one point I made a joke about his wife coming downstairs and he said something like "oh no, she'd kill me if she saw this". Neither of us were exactly sober and it took me until he said that to realize it was wrong, so I stopped it and said I was going to bed. Before I went upstairs he said "I'm really sorry. I've just wanted to do that for a very long time." I was stunned. I very nearly kissed him, but I didn't.

The next morning, it was as if it never happened. He barely even looked at me. We had breakfast and packed up the car and left. I was devastated. I held it together for the 4 hour car ride home with my friends, but when I finally got to my room, I cried for hours. I had loved him so much for so long and to find out that he actually felt something for me... and that something actually happened between us... it was just too much. He was married and I knew nothing else would ever happen again. I was heartbroken.

The last time I ever saw him, he and his wife were in town to visit his family. A big group of us went to a bar together. After, his wife went to walk her friends to their car and we were all sitting on a bench outside the bar waiting for her. One girl we were with wanted to sit down too, but the bench was full, so she sat on Mike's lap. His wife came back and saw that and freaked out on him. They left and I've never seen him again. I sent them Christmas cards for a few years and wouldn't get anything back. One time his email got hacked and spammed his whole address book, and he emailed apologizing for it, and I replied and asked how they had been and never got a reply. I guess his wife reeled him in. I don't know.

So that's my "one that got away" even though I never really had him. Getting over him was the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm in it with H for the long haul now, but when we were dating, I always thought if Mike came back and said he was done with his wife... that would be really hard to refuse.

(Probably going to DD parts of this, so please don't quote)

[bliz1712]

The only one that I felt fell in that category was a guy friend that we did a lot of stuff together but never dated. For some reason I was holding out for his loser friend, who is currently in and out of prison for selling drugs. I thought about him maybe 2 years ago and always wondered what would have happened had we ever dated. I mentioned him to a coworker and she was shocked because.....Turns out he is gay. I'm not close with him now, but we are friends on FB.

[bantyrooster]

I wouldn't call him the one who got away, but if things would have played out different he would be where my H is.

H and I have been together on and off (two times off) since I was 16. A very good friend, who had some benefits when I was off with H, got away. We were always very close before I ever met H. On H and I's last "off" I hung out with most this guy. H left for his second tour in Iraq and H and I ended up getting back together when he was away. I still have the letters we had back and forth from that deployment. He wasn't happy because as a teen H could be an ass and said guy didn't think he deserved me. We also actually at one point, maybe 19/20 ish, made a wedding pact. If we were both single when I turned 30 we would just elope. He is still one of my best friends. Him and H are also close now.

H also jokes if this guy wouldn't have deployed we wouldn't be together. Fate works in weird ways. A lot of weird things lined up for me and h to get back together that last time, that is a whole other story.

[xanthepants]

Mine was a fellow named Roger. He was the first Man not boy I ever dated. He was a few years older, much more sophistocated, worldly, well travelled, had a good job, a home, kind, intelligent a bit punk rock. And good lord good in bed. I would run away from life for him but it isn't a remote possibility so don't worry about me. We dated for a while, but I was not in a good place emotionally, way overwhelmed in school, health problems, drank way too much and just was a little girl in way too many ways to keep a man like that. But I grew up in many ways being with him and learned a lot about the woman I wanted to become. So I value the time I had with him.
I always wonder whether we would would have worked if we had met a few years later when I had my shit together but he was the impetus for me getting my shit together so.... Anyway he married and had a kid - that's all I know. I will always love him in a special way that you do with do with the ones that get away and are unrequited. I wouldn't trade my life now for him, but I do wonder about him definitely. He was grand. He made a room light up. I hope he is still that incredible.

[lkamenko]

I had been with my husband for 24 years now - so basically all my adult live, so it is hard for me to imagine my live with somebody else.
But I do think sometimes what would happen if I stayed with one guy I have dated before meeting my DH. We were high school sweethearts and he was completely in love with me. He had a very protective mother who was very worried about him, so she would call me every time he was not home and check if he is at my house - that would drive him so mad, LOL.
We stopped our romance when I went to college, but would keep in touch for a long time. I still have him as a friend on facebook. He became a prominent politician in Russia and is very high up there financially and in all other aspects. I think how drastically different my destiny would be if I stayed with him - different country, different status...

[traceyt07]

Mine is my high school sweetheart. He was so kind and loving. He was a blast to be around. Just a really amazing guy. Sweet family. And he adored me. I always felt beautiful/smart/perfect around him.

Unfortunately I was stupid. We were together for about 2 years then I got sick (cancer) my senior year and I just needed to focus on myself. Being sick got me a lot of attention from "the popular crowd" & "the popular boys." When things got better I started dating them. Stupid.

We ended up going to college together and had a few uncomfortable interactions at frat parties. He ended up marrying his college girlfriend. We have a few mutual friends from hs still so I've gotten updates. He's still married, lives a town near my parents, has three kids and he owns a used car dealership. My life would have been very different if we had stayed together.

[pinkluna]

I have actually been thinking about this too. (I may DD later)

I never even dated this guy but I FB stalked him recently. It actually goes back to 2nd grade, my first crush I'll call "Ed". I ended up changing schools for 3rd grade so I didn't see him much after. Then my senior year in high school, after taking the ACT test at another school, I run into him. I work up the courage to talk to him and he remembered me too. He confessed he actually had a crush on me too. So we exchanged AIM screen names and started chatting online. At the time I was already dating DH so it was strictly platonic. At least on my end. But after a while he started seriously flirting with me (something I was honest about with DH). I wasn't reciprocating but I also wasn't stopping it. What can I say, I liked the attention. So DH put a stop on it himself. I can't really blame him but I was kind of bummed because Ed stopped talking to me entirely.

Fast forward a few years, I'm at my bridal shower and my mom's friend brings something up. She says she ran into an old classmate of mine (Ed) and somehow my name popped up. He had told her that I had been "the love of his life" and the one that got away, which shocked me because he never said that to me.

Fast forward another 5 years, and I see him at a friend's wedding. I didn't approach him this time and I don't know if he saw me. But I was hoping we would bump into each other so I could say hi. I haven't seen him since but I do FB stalk him every once in a while, although I can't see much since we are not friends. It doesn't look like he's married. He works close to where I work so I keep thinking there's a chance we'll run into each other again. I also think of how there's been lots of "coincidences" on the times we've run into each other. We live in a huge metropolitan area so the chances of running into each other are slim to none. I mean the day I took the ACT was the day after my dear uncle passed away. I shouldn't have been there but I went because I knew my uncle would have wanted me to go. I have absolutely no regrets, but if I hadn't been dating DH at the time, things would have probably gone differently with him.

[ThePinkSuperhero]

I felt that way about my college sweetheart for some time. He's gay, so whaddyagonnado?

[origamimommy]

I took it down. It was a little mushy gushy, and I honestly hadn't thought about it in YEARS! It is fun to think about what might have been. And even though now is not the happiest of times, I do believe we'll make it and I'm happy with our life.

[samelly]

Yes, I sometimes have that thought that.  There was a time I saw a former flame post a wedding pic on Facebook and I felt a little jealous...even though I am married to a wonderful man and have a beautiful little girl.  I guess it's just hard not to wonder what could have been sometimes.

[heatherbee]

I wouldn't really call it the "one that got away" because I am incredibly happy with my DH. But it's more a "what would have happened if". I had a huge crush on a good friend of mine for a year and a half in high school (while I was dating another guy). Once I finally ended it, I started dating the guy I has been crushing on that whole time. He was an amazing guy - kind, super respectful, outgoing, very confident and had very strong faith. He was one of the best people I've ever know . After we started dating, I told him I couldn't be in a relationship anymore because I was falling way too hard for him and he was about to leave for a 2 year long mission trip and I knew it would break my heart. 1 week later he died (slippes while climbing a waterfall at a local park and drowned). It was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with and I don't think i will ever lose the guilt I felt about how I ended things. I still visit his grave often (DH is really sweet about it). Dh and I started dating about 2 months after he passed, partially because he was there for me through everything.

[MissMusic]

Yup, the guy before DH. He said some douchey things to me during Lillian's first year so I haven't spoken to him, but yeah. He has told me I'm the one who got away, and I'd peg that on him, too.

[junkytrunk]

I would say mine was a guy I was dating right out of high school. We had met on this new website called MySpace lol. We had a lot in common: red hair, our birthdays were only 2 weeks apart.

Anyways, we were never officially bf/gf, but I wanted to know if it would ever happen. So I did something really stupid and had my friend create an AIM username and pretend to be someone else to get info out of him. Well of course he found out and he broke things off with me via MySpace message not too long after saying he didn't want a gf. Ya except he had a gf only a couple weeks later! I wish I could go back and kick my newly 18 year old self.

We are still FB friends. He was on the chubbier side when we dated and now he's lost a lot of weight and looks pretty good. I wonder sometimes if we would have stayed together for the long haul or not.

[roo1582]

Mine was a guy who ended up being my best friend in college. We met Freshman year. We got along instantly since we grew up in the the same area. We starting talking. We would hold hands, cuddle, hang out every night. But we never did anything. A couple months in he told me his ex, his first love, was coming back into his life. I was bummed but it finally made sense why he was never making a real move (I was the naive, shy girl at that point). Not sure what happened there but by the end of the year we were hanging out regularly but on a friendship level. We were always incredibly flirty, gra by with each other though. Come back after the summer and hea dating some skank. Again we hung out constantly. We told each other some of our deepest darkest secrets. I kind of fell in love with him over time but never made any moves. He had some issues that I just didn't know how to deal with. He was bi polar but had bad experiences with therapy and medication. Instead he self medicated through drugs (mostly weed and some pills). Through out college, we both knew the feelings were there but timing never worked out. But he was the one person who was always there for me no matter what. After college I got an email from him explaining his feelings for me. However at that point I was serious with DH. He recently got married. We don't talk anymore which makes me sad since I really miss that friendship. I used to think about him a lot more. I've had quite a few sex dreams about him though

[mommymadness]

I've never really had, the one the got away. Dh and I met in high school and even though I had a few other flings (and by flings I mean make out sessions) before him, none were serious. I kind of regret being so shy around boys! I technically had one other bf when I was 14. He was 16 and I was so shy around him even, that I broke up with him via msn. I liked him and everything but I was sooo nervous about kissing and what people thought!!
Mh and I talked a lot about this before we got engaged. He also had never dated anyone. We both kind of wished we had experienced more but by that point it was too late. We had been dating for years and were too in love and in the end we didn't care that much! At least we're inexperienced together!

One of my make out men is a doctor now though, so that would have been cool! Lol
Another, tried hitting on me last year while I was about 18 weeks preggo and infront of mh! He didn't realize either, but made me feel pretty good about myself that he was still after me 10 years and almost 2 kids later lol

[trixi282]

Like some others I wouldn't call it "the one that got away" since I never had him, but more like the "what if" guy... It's my brothers best friend actually, and he's still a part of my life now. H knows I always had a thing for him, but also knows that nothing ever happened with us.

I've known him since I was in 1st or 2nd grade, and he and my brother have been best friends basically the entire time. I had the biggest crush on him my entire life, he went through some extremely difficult times and dealt with drinking and getting in trouble with the law a few times, but really did turn his life around. I started dating H at the very end of Sr. year in HS while T was in the Marines. Very long story short: after being medically discharged (after a bad car accident) he moved home and again dealt with some demons, but was always around here and there. My mom and his would talk occasionally and my mom mentioned once that I had always thought the world of T and that I had a big crush on him growing up... his mom replied with something along the lines of that he had never known, and if he would have known things may have been different. She said something about how if H and I didn't work out, maybe the two of us could date.

When my mom told me this, at first I was so embarrassed, and then I was curious. It never did make me waiver with R, because we've always had a pretty strong relationship, but there were times we questioned if we needed to date others (I was his first/only GF) and never did go through with it. I sometimes do wonder if T and I would have ever dated, and if it could have worked or not between us... or if it would have just made things weird. He was almost like a brother to me, but he's always had a special part in my heart.

He was engaged one to a girl that I didn't think was right for him... she was nice but just not who I had ever envisioned him with. Luckily that engagement didn't last. I then met his (now) wife at my wedding while they were dating and she was nice, but I wasn't sure about her. I've since gotten to know her a little bit, and she's great. They have a son that was supposed to be an Aug12 baby (he's a j12!) and are now due with their second too... so our lives are paralleling a little and it's kind of interesting.

I haven't spoken to him since just before Christmas when they told us they were pregnant, and we shared the same with them, but I know I'll know he'll always be in my life in some way or another.

[tribute17]

trixi282, wouldn't it be weird if his current wife was one of us? They do have a j12 baby...

[paddyb]

heatherbee, the love tit was for support. That must have been super hard.

There is no one I ever dated that I feel what if about...but 1 guy that I hooked up with once in college. I had a HUGE crush on him. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if we had dated.

[trixi282]

May 1, 2015 9:39:20 GMT -5 tribute17 said:

trixi282, wouldn't it be weird if his current wife was one of us? They do have a j12 baby...

Haha, it would be... but she was due in August.... but honestly I'm not too worried because she's on FB but not really active... just not their thing I think.   

[somethingcleverer]

It's funny you posted this because I was thinking about my guy that got away recently.

He was actually someone who got away because we were together for I few years. He was a really good guy and we loved each other but I was about to try to get into pharmacy school and I felt we needed time apart because we were young. We stayed friends and would hook up once in awhile. I really thought we would get our space and then be able to get back together after we had matured and gotten ourselves together. Of course that was my plan I never said that to him. Well he ended up getting a girl he was dating pregnant and they got married. I was pretty upset when I found out. Luckily I had gotten into school in another state and was leaving in the fall. I haven't seen or heard from him since but my dad used to get updates because he had gotten him a job at the post office. I guess he has 2 girls and is doing well but I still hope that I can run into him just to hear how he's doing.

[sarahandeddie]

Apr 30, 2015 18:53:49 GMT -5 heatherbee said:

I wouldn't really call it the "one that got away" because I am incredibly happy with my DH. But it's more a "what would have happened if". I had a huge crush on a good friend of mine for a year and a half in high school (while I was dating another guy). Once I finally ended it, I started dating the guy I has been crushing on that whole time. He was an amazing guy - kind, super respectful, outgoing, very confident and had very strong faith. He was one of the best people I've ever know . After we started dating, I told him I couldn't be in a relationship anymore because I was falling way too hard for him and he was about to leave for a 2 year long mission trip and I knew it would break my heart. 1 week later he died (slippes while climbing a waterfall at a local park and drowned). It was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with and I don't think i will ever lose the guilt I felt about how I ended things. I still visit his grave often (DH is really sweet about it). Dh and I started dating about 2 months after he passed, partially because he was there for me through everything.

That is heartbreaking. So sorry for your loss.

[sarahandeddie]

I only seriously dated two guys before DH. I'm still good friends with my HS sweetheart. I'm glad we are still friends but also glad we ended things when we did. I do wish I could trade his mom for my MIL though, lol.

I'm glad I got away from my ex FI. It turns out he is a pathological liar and cheater. He's on hjs second marriage and had two kids. His ex wife's parents have full custody of his oldest daughter so I'm sure there is a lot I don't know. He randomly calls me every couple of years and stirs up old feelings. Every time he calls it makes me thankful that my life without him is 1000 times better than it would have been with him.

[USCgirl]

May 1, 2015 11:06:51 GMT -5 sarahandeddie said:

Apr 30, 2015 18:53:49 GMT -5 heatherbee said:

I wouldn't really call it the "one that got away" because I am incredibly happy with my DH. But it's more a "what would have happened if". I had a huge crush on a good friend of mine for a year and a half in high school (while I was dating another guy). Once I finally ended it, I started dating the guy I has been crushing on that whole time. He was an amazing guy - kind, super respectful, outgoing, very confident and had very strong faith. He was one of the best people I've ever know . After we started dating, I told him I couldn't be in a relationship anymore because I was falling way too hard for him and he was about to leave for a 2 year long mission trip and I knew it would break my heart. 1 week later he died (slippes while climbing a waterfall at a local park and drowned). It was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with and I don't think i will ever lose the guilt I felt about how I ended things. I still visit his grave often (DH is really sweet about it). Dh and I started dating about 2 months after he passed, partially because he was there for me through everything.

That is heartbreaking. So sorry for your loss.

Ditto.  That must have been so difficult, but glad to hear DH is supportive.