Shower gift?

[redfraggle]

I have a friend who is having a shower soon for her first baby. We are close, and I know she worries a lot about being judged by others. I was thinking of getting her a few of my favorite parenting reference books as a shower gift because I loved the ones I got at mine. Would you like that gift or would you worry that I was judging you if I gave it to you? (I would hope by now that she knows I'm not judging her, but you never know how things will come across, KWIM.)

[krose]

I think this would really just depend on the person. It's not something I would choose, bc I'd rather just google any questions I have, and I'd never sit and read a parenting book. Similarly, I never took any birthing classes or anything like that, so I think it's just not in my personality. With that being said, any gift is a nice gesture and will be appreciated, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. Had anyone given me anything like that, I certainly wouldn't find it offensive or think they were judging me.

[junewife]

I agree with jnetx and include in the list a short explaination as to why you like each particular book.

However, to answer your question, I do not think that gifting parenting books comes off as judgy if she's pregnant with her first child.

[happymama]

I did read my pregnancy book, but never took any birthing classes, parenting classes, nor have I read any parenting books. It's just not my personality or the way I learn. However, I wouldn't consider it judgy. If you feel that it would be appreciated, just present it by saying something like "I received this book at my shower and it was such a life saver for me!"

[Deleted]

I would not. Everyone parents differently - the books you loved may come off as judgy or completely ridiculous (stylistically) to her. She may also not have any interest in reading any parenting books - I personally could not care less for them and rather learn by doing or asking for opinions/information from people I trust. (I also didn't read any twins books - and my mom bought me a few of them. I did read one pregnancy book that I wound up thinking was kind of a waste of time.)

[redfraggle]

Thanks, ladies! You are right that it would be better to offer a list or just wait until she asks. She has some unusual ideas about when someone is judging her, so I'd rather not take the risk of offending her, not to mention that she may just really not be interested in reading reference books.