Good and Bad traits as a parent

[tribute17]

Since it is a little slow and the end of the year for me, meaning I don't feel like working:

What is your best trait as a parent?

What is your worst trait as a parent?

Answer for both you and your spouse.

[tribute17]

1. I would say my best trait is my patience. I have always been a super patient person and can tolerate quite a bit. It takes a lot for me to get really mad. Probably one reason I can also be a teacher.

2. I would say my worst trait is that I have a hard time disciplining. I'm pretty easy and since it takes a lot for me to get angry, I usually just brush it off. I'm worried that I will create a monster or that my H will turn into the mean parent since he usually loses it first. I'm working on it but it has always been hard for me.

1. I think MH's best trait is his playfulness. He always comes up with these crazy games or adventures for Patrick. I'm just not that creative sometimes. They have a blast together.

2. I think MH's worst quality is his patience. He loses it pretty quick and forgets that P is only a toddler. He also can't sit still for more than about 10 minutes so feedings/bedtime/bathtime have all gone to me since that takes longer than 10 minutes. I guess we balance each other nicely that way.

[xanthepants]

Best? I am super loving. I drench that girl in hugs and affection. She will have no doubt that she is loved. I praise her accmplishments and try and build her up when she fails at something in a way that encourages her to try again rather than praises her for every little thing. She can fail, I'll still love her and she should know that, she just needs to try.

H - He is there for her all the time. He will get down on the floor and read with her or play with her on a moments notice. He gives his time unselfishly.

Worst? I can sometimes change the rules on her mid punishment. I'm not the most consistent and I get too lenient if I see that she's not responding. I know that is not good for her or I and I should stick with it but I hate being harsh with her once I see how sensitively she reacts.

H- his patience. he blows sometimes and can go from 0-60 in milliseconds before he is cursing and angry. he doesn't get violent but I have to get him out of the room or relieve him becuase it's uncalled for. I don't like that she hears that sort fo thing.

[sarasansh]

tribute17 I see so many similarities in your post to us/our parenting!

1) Best: my patience. Like tribute said, I think this is why I can also be a teacher. It takes a lot to really push me over the edge and make me lose my cool. I think this goes hand in hand with the fact that I'm a pretty laid back person so I let a lot of things roll off my back.

2) Worst: I have a hard time holding a firm line on things. Like if Robin asks for a cookie right before dinner, my first instinct is, "Well, what does one cookie matter?" but really, I just don't want to deal with the tantrum that will come if I tell him no. I definitely don't want a monster child so I'm trying to get better!

MH:

1) Best: He never ever ever gets tired of playing with Robin. We were at my family's for my grandfather's 90th birthday on Saturday and he literally played with Robin from the moment we got there to the moment we left, minus about 20 minutes for dinner. Robin loves playing with him so much and I love seeing the two of them together.

2) Worst: He's not always the most comforting when Robin is upset/hurt/scared. Robin will get hurt in some minor way and be upset, and he just doesn't have that instinct to go and comfort him. Now whenever Robin is unhappy in some way he immediately wants me, which I think bothers MH because he doesn't like that Robin brushes him off or that I'm "coddling" him. We're working on it and I'm trying to get him to be more responsive to him in these types of situations, but considering it's something MH is still working on with me and we've been together since high school, I don't have the highest hopes...

[aylafsu1881]

What is your best trait as a parent? My calmness. I rarely flip out over messes, accidents, or repeating myself a million times. For my H it is his fun side. He loves to chase E around and play silly games.

What is your worst trait as a parent? For me it is the fact that I will repeat something a million times. I need to ask once or twice and then have a consequence. Sometimes my patience is a bad thing because she will just ignore me. For my H it is that he sometimes play in bad ways. Like he will throw something at her, like a towel, instead of handing it to her. It annoys me since we try to tel her not to throw at people.

[cbear]

Best for me: loving, I love to cuddle the beejus out of them! Also, I really try to be in tune with their feelings and listen to what E has to say.

Worst: not being spontaneous or maybe too strict. I think it comes down to my OCD on things. maybe it will be easier to pack up and do something fun when they are a bit older. But now it seems I need a list a mile wide to go anywhere! Also, I need to work on being more patient. I don't yell or anything but I find myself getting worked up sometimes and have to take a breather

H: playfulness! He is always playing with them and letting elise "help" with projects.

Worse for H: day to day things that I do I guess. They would be in pjs all day if it were up to him. He hardly ever dresses them! Or they would eat chicken nuggets for every meal lol!

[jennmm]

Best: Being affectionate and having time for the kids
Worst: Not having enough patience

DH
Best: Staying calm
Worst: He also lacks patience

[tribute17]

sarasansh, I really do think we would be BFF's. Maybe H will get a job close to Philly.

My students were just being horrendous the other day and I finally snapped and yelled at them. One kid up front said, "Oh my gosh, I don't think I have ever heard her yell before." I heard him and said, "Yeah, that's how upset I am right now, I never yell."

MH is also like your's in that he is trying to get P to brush things off but sometimes he really is upset. I have to remind him that he is only 2 and that it is okay to kiss boo boos or give hugs when he is upset. We are trying to meet a little more in the middle on this one. But like you said, we've been together since high school so I know what to expect and he definitely has never coddled me so I don't expect him to do it with P either. Don't get me wrong, he can be super sweet and affectionate but sometimes has a hard time comforting people.

[bliz1712]

I think I'm similar to a few of you as well...
Me: best is my affection and making time for them. Like xanthepants, I shower them with hugs, kisses, praise, claps, etc as often as I can. My worst is probably how easily I give in when I know I shouldn't. Just like sarasansh said, sometimes it's easier to give in for 1 tiny cracker than to endure the tantrum. But I'm trying to work on that.

H: he's the best at outdoor activities. Teaching V to play her sports, taking them for bike rides or teaching them outdoor stuff is his forte. He is especially great with physical activities. I despise riding bikes and a lot of times can't handle the distances he wants to go. His downfall, which I hate to even admit, is he doesn't give them hardly any attention. He has his activities, right now it's golf a few nights, but then he holes up in the basement and he doesn't really spend time with them.

[USCgirl]

What is your best trait as a parent?
Both H and I are super loving. We try our best to show LO as much affection as possible, especially from my H because I didn't get much from my dad. I think it is so important for girls especially to be shown love from their fathers and have a good bond with them.

We are both pretty good at discipline and are on the same page (most of the time). I am more strict than my H, but I am okay with that since little girls are supposed to take advantage of their dads right?! Haha!

What is your worst trait as a parent?
I lose my temper and yell too much for little things! I get so frustrated so easily, especially since being pregnant. I feel horrible, like the worse mom sometimes, but I know she knows I still love her. It is the worst when I yell at her for doing something on accident (like something that makes a huge mess) and she says, "I'm sorry Mama."

I think my H gives in to WAY too easily. He is a "yes" man when it comes to her and just gets her anything she wants. We are working on it...

[pinkluna]

Best: For me, It takes a lot for me to lose my temper. Or at least I try not to show it.
DH is the fun parent for sure, at least the one who has the energy to match a toddler's. He's also very affectionate so the kids often run to him for comfort.

Worst: I may not lose my temper but I do get impatient and would rather leave the room or ignore rather than deal with the situation at times.
DH is a little more quick-tempered in certain situations (he cannot stand when they purposely hurt each other).

[somethingcleverer]

Best:
Me: I like to do things with the kids. I like to find crafts and learning things we can do together. I also like going places with them. I try to get them outdoors and active as much as possible.

H: he's good at playing with them. I have a hard time just imagining and making up games with the kids while H is better with that kind of play.

Worst:
Me: I'm a yeller. I've gotten better because the kids don't respond to yelling but if I really lose my patience I yell.
H: He expects the kids to be little adults. He wants to be the police of the house and expect the kids to respect him but he doesn't really try to earn it.

[trixi282]

For me I'd say best is my patience maybe, I do lose my temper I won't lie, but I have a lot more tolerance for when she gets upset. I can keep my cool longer and really take it all in stride (until I got pregnant it seems, I did get a little less patient with her then).

My worst: my attention span for playing with her... I hate to say it, but sometimes I just want her to play more on her own. I love doing certain things, but sometimes I don't want to run after her at the park!

H's best: his ability to play physically with her so much. He adores playing baseball and throwing her in the air, rolling around and 'wrestling' with her... he does great with that.

H's worst: his patience - he can be very patient at times, but definitely tends to lose his cool with her quickly. He gets frustrated and will start yelling a lot sooner and I have to remind him to be calm with her because she usually responds better.

After thinking and writing these out it seems we literally have opposite best/worsts, so it's probably a good thing!

[mommymadness]

My best: I am super loving and I think pretty good at talking to him and explaining things to him.
My worst: I think I'm too much like a kid, sometimes. I'm care free and maybe let him get away with too much. Like when he wants a snack/ treat I pretty much always give in.
Mh best: He is great at playing with B and is very patient.
Worst: He is almost a little too over protecting of him. Like at the park he lifts him up or follows very carefully around. I feel like if he backed off a little he could learn by doing more!

[heatherbee]

My best: I also think im very calm and patient, and usually the one who is best able to refocus and distarct DS when he is in the verge of a meltdown. I don't lose my patience very often.

My worst: sometimes I can be a helicopter parent. I let my anxiety gets the better of me, and I want to get better about this before he gets much older.


DHs best: He is so involved. The second he gets home at night he is helping with the kids, and playing with the kids. He balances my anxiousness most of the time. He is extremely comfortable being along with both kids, and every weekend, I go grocery shopping and run errands without the kids and DH is so great about it.

DHs worst: He can lose his patience pretty easily. Never with the baby, but he gets into power struggles with DS sometimes and then loses his patience and yells. He thinks DS should always listen the first time he tells him to do something, which is not going to happen with a 2 year old ,

[aylafsu1881]

somethingcleverer, Me too. I grew up in a family of yellers. We yelled for everything and about everything. I have majorly curbed it since H and I met since his family is the quiet, low voice type.