*"*" WEEKLY CHECK IN 5/5/15 *"*"

[icequeen]

Hi y'all!!

I'm sorry I've been so behind with everything due to vacation. I know this board isn't super active and I hope we still have need and motivation to post on here and give/get support. Y'all mean a lot to me and I'm glad to be back with y'all! Let's all try to remember to do our weekly check ins, participate in as many threads as we can, and also contribute to the sub board. Life is always super busy but I love hearing how everyone is doing and I missed y'all so much! Please PM me if you would like to be tagged for participation. Thanks so much!

flcl, mrsb1008, yoshijo28, @rocknrollfriend, @wallflwr926, @ordinaryamy, runnergirl812, helloamanda, @giamia923, snarkysparklefart, @alleykat05, bluerainfire, sko14, @erin2021, spencer1337, RedDDD

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Please state your diagnosis and/or status:

How is your week going?

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?

Any changes in medication or recent appointments?

GTKY: Where are y'all from? Do you like the area you live in? Tell us about it!

[snarkysparklefart]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: primarily borderline PD. Anxiety and a handful of other diagnoses as well.

How is your week going? it is going okay so far.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? I had my dental surgery this morning- my wisdom teeth and the horrible tooth that was giving me so much trouble during pregnancy are now gone! I think it falls into both categories, since I was crying in the office (both from anxiety and embarrassment- hyperemesis, smoking, and not being insured really ruined my teeth in the last few years). We are also still struggling with DD1 behavior. My H needs gall bladder surgery and his dietary needs, resistance to commit to having the surgery, and dealing with him being so ill were horrible. I exhausted every shred of physical and emotional nerve I had left last week. Another accomplishment- last week I went out with both girls, solo, and I even wore real pants

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? I had therapy last week, it went well. I got some advice on DD1's behaviors, and it was really good for me to get back into doing it (I took a short break starting in February just because of the demand of the high risk appointments and my Hs work schedule)

GTKY: Where are y'all from? Do you like the area you live in? Tell us about it! I live in the southeast, in a major metro city. I like my area/ neighborhood- we have so much within walking distance! There aren't many other families with young kids in our immediate area though. We hope to move within the next 2 years. We rent our home, and would like to rent something a bit nicer/ newer.

[icequeen]

snarkysparklefart, I can completely commiserate with the dental issues. I have had a few root canals and crowns put in because all my enamel wore off from the stomach acid that comes up when I throw up. My dental bill is atrocious. Great job with going out and having a good time. I know that can produce a lot of anxiety but I'm glad you were able to override that.

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, GAD

How is your week going? It's going ok so far. I found out today that I am pregnant! I am overjoyed but also very worried and anxious. I have had two CP's and I know my mental and physical health is not the best it could be. We also just got back from Disneyworld so I am busy catching up with things around the house, which isn't easy when I'm starting to feel pregnancy symptoms.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? My struggles ares till the binging and purging, and even throwing up regular meals. i was not able to control in DW because I was triggered in many ways such as worrying about my IUI, seeing very thin people and comparing myself, not being able to weigh or workout, and general anxiety about being out of my normal routine. Some accomplishments were that I didn't fight the no working out and proved that I could go without it. I also had an amazing night out with DH were we reconnected as a couple after a rough few weeks. We had a beautiful dinner and date night while DD stayed with a babysitter. I also was able to really enjoy watching DD react to the rides and characters without being submerged in ED thoughts the whole time. This week I have reduced my working out to one hour and less intensity because I am just feeling like shit.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? NO changes. I will see my therapist on Thursday and psych on the 20th.

GTKY: Where are y'all from? Do you like the area you live in? Tell us about it! I'm originally from the suburbs of Chicago but now we live in Southern Louisiana. I love the south so much more than the midwest especially because of the friendliness of the people, the weather, popular outdoor activities, and cost of living.

[Deleted]

Yayyy icequeen!! Congratulations!!

[snarkysparklefart]

So glad you had a good time at Disney icequeen.. And CONGRATS!! i have everything crossed for you to have a happy & healthy pregnancy. That's what my love tit was for, not your dental issues too!

[RedDDD]

icequeen,CONGRATS!

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: Depression with anxiety

How is your week going? Going pretty good. Came off an awesome weekend. DH was out of town and the kids and I just had a great weekend, it was very relaxing. Then this morning DH called and something is going on with DD, rash, facial swelling....seriously kill me....my kids get every damn illness known to man. I keep hearing that once we are out of the toddler phase it will taper off but my god.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? I feel like the meds are helping. Not sure if its just the change in the weather or what but I am feeling calmer and generally happier. I haven't had that feeling where I think Im going to lose my shit for a while now. Feels good.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? no changes

GTKY: Where are y'all from? Do you like the area you live in? Tell us about it!

I live in the twin cities but I am originally from southern cal. Been in the midwest for 14 years now and I love it. I love the change of seasons and I generally enjoy the weather. Feb and March suck but the rest of the year is beautiful, amazing, crazy, and sometimes scary which I find to be super fascinating. We live in a neighborhood with a lot of little kids which is great. We are kind of on the outskirts of the suburbs so we are literally next door to a farm which we love. I can get fresh produce all summer long and they do corn mazes and have animals so its great for the kids. Also close to a lake with a great beach and playground. I love it. I would never go back to So Cal.

[Deleted]

icequeen, I'm so beyond happy for you-as I have stated many times! lol

RedDDD, happy to hear you are feeling better! I think the change in weather has slightly helped me as well!

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: GAD, depression

How is your week going?A lot of highs and lows.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?Well, I got a BFP on Saturday, so that was definitely a high point! My husband left for Alberta on Monday though to work for 2 weeks. Monday night my kids just wouldn't go to sleep, I couldn't find my lap top, I was tired, sad and I had a massive breakdown. I cried hard for about 2 hours; it also didn't help that I caught myself up on Grey's Anatomy when my emotions were already all over the place! Needless to say, Monday was a very low emotional day. There is a lot of stress going on and managing it has been difficult. With my husband gone, I'm a single mom 2 weeks out of a month. So I have to pack my house, and get ready to move into my parents by July until we can buy a home. I feel incredibly overwhelmed with the amount of things I have to do, and the early pregnancy symptoms of exhaustion and mood swings are really hurting me. I keep trying to tell myself, 'everything will work out!', but it's so hard to stay positive with so much going on.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? None.

GTKY: Where are y'all from? Do you like the area you live in? Tell us about it!I'm from Windsor Ontario. It's a rougher area for employment, but I love it! It's a little/big city with a lot of restaurants, parks, a beautiful waterfront, cheap real estate and a lot of festivals throughout the summer. I love being across from Detroit and a few hours from Toronto. I don't think I could ever leave this place!

[RedDDD]

@erin2021, CONGRATS!

[Deleted]

May 6, 2015 10:48:10 GMT -5 RedDDD said:

@erin2021, CONGRATS!

Thank you!

[icequeen]

RedDDD, thank you for the sweet words! I'm so sorry your kids are feeling sick so often. I definitely think it is just a phase and hopefully it will pass. Just do the best you can to keep them as comfortable and take all the precautions to keep them well. It's great that your meds are helping, that's always a relief!
@erin2021, girl we are BMB buddies! Yay! I can totally understand how overwhelming being a single mom could be for half the month. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to get everything done and perfect because you have so much going on with the twins and now another pregnancy. It's obvious you will struggle so just accept that and use all the tools you can to keep yourself sane and loving of yourself.

[bluerainfire]

Congrats ladies...

[Deleted]

Congrats to you @erin2021 !! Such happy news this week.

[Deleted]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: anxiety and depression, under treatment

How is your week going? Good but really busy. I'm working extra hours this week and we brought home some baby chicks on Sunday (!!), so more responsibilities at home too.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? Mood-wise I've been pretty even lately, which is nice for a change.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? nope

GTKY: Where are y'all from? Do you like the area you live in? Tell us about it!
I live in central California near where I grew up. I love California but I miss the north coast where I went to school and lived for 9 years. I made DH promise we could at least retire there. But where we are now is great for work and being close to family.

[Deleted]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: insomnia stemming from PPD/PPA

How is your week going? Not well. My sleep is better, but I feel very depressed about my unreliable/inconsistent sleep pattern because it affects the next day so much.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?
I seem to have gotten into a pattern where I'm falling asleep early in the morning (3-4am) which is better than nothing but that means I can only sleep 3-4 hours max. Luckily my kids tend to sleep in (8:30-9am, though DS can wake up earlier sometimes) so that helps me get some sleep in. But I feel like a terrible mom bc I don't have energy to take the kids out to somewhere fun on days where I'm operating on very little sleep.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments?
Still haven't been able to see a PCP yet. No meds, just vitamins.

GTKY: Where are y'all from? Do you like the area you live in? Tell us about it!
We just moved to this smallish Midwestern college town from Pacific Northwest. I miss not having to deal with bugs and awesome water. I miss all the tax free shopping. I miss all the hipster coffee shops and restaurants. But I don't miss crazy traffic or every other week garbage pickup.

[Deleted]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: Bipolar 1, GAD, ADD, Narcolepsy

How is your week going? Pretty decent. One of my bestest buddies icequeen recently got knocked up.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? I saw my psychiatrist today. All my levels are good. I'm having a little trouble sleeling but nothing out of control. Still super disorganized at work,but i'll work it out someday.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? All changes are actually GKU related. I will be scheduling an HSG in the next few weeks. Depending on the outcome of that test and MH's SA, we will be referred to an RE.

GTKY: Where are y'all from? Do you like the area you live in? Tell us about it!
I live in upstate New York. Like less than 200 miles from Montreal. I miss living in NYC and hope to move back in the future.

[bluerainfire]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: ptsd, anxiety, depression

How is your week going? last week was very emotional and hard, this one has gone fast

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? we went camping, it had its ups and very bad downs with my son- he had horrible behavior- I worry about him because both my husband and I have some mental health issues- sometimes my son is like a carbon copy of his dad- He has the good parts, but sometimes the very bad parts, and I worry about him dealing with anger, and try to have him talk about his feelings. Parenting can be very hard, and emotional for me-I just don't want to fuck up my kids

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? nope

GTKY: Where are y'all from? Do you like the area you live in? Tell us about it! from the Midwest- live in san francisco in my early 20's, love the beach, love the corn fields of my area- I am too close to a meto city right now and want to when we can afford if (if that's every possible) to live in the oountry..

[spencer1337]

Congrats icequeen and erin!


Please state your diagnosis and/or status:ADD, anxiety,depression

How is your week going?This has been a roller coaster the last few weeks.My husband dislocated his knee and we found out he will have to have surgery at the end of the summer that we cant afford. It stressing me that we havnt gotten any of the bills yet( not that we have money to pay them right now) and he might be getting a new job, but he will have to take time off withing the first month or two for the surgery! I also finally got to see my PCP for my blood work. My thyroid levels were low so they put me on meds to get that up. They seem to be working, but i still feel tired
I did manage to actually pull of all the things on my list for my DD2's b day! It was pretty fun, if not a little stressful.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?I have been doing really good with being more patient with my oldest. She is very high energy and i was having trouble keeping up. I think we are on the right track to fixing our relationship.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? I finally started on wellbutrin, So far i like it, but cant tell if its that or the thyroid meds that are really helping the most?

GTKY: Where are y'all from? Do you like the area you live in? Tell us about it! I am in southern Louisiana( maybe me and icequeen are neighbors and dont even know it ) I love it here most of the time. My particular area is very family friendly with tons for the kids to do. I could live without feeling like im swimming form the humidity though.

[KayVeeKay]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: PPD, seeking treatment.

How is your week going?
I was referred to a rheumatologist by my primary doctor because of some odd blood results and symptoms of auto-immune diseases or at least something systemic only to be told by the rheumatologist that I don't have any symptoms of anything he treats but that he would order labs to see what they found out. He seems pretty convinced I'm in the 5-10% of people who have abnormal blood but no actual problems. They did x-Rays, which came out fine except I'm apparently not drinking enough milk because my right wrist bones are darker than they should be. I'm kind of frustrated by all of this because I really want to know what's wrong. I'm sick and tired of hurting all day, every day.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?
I'm feeling really guilty about taking medication, especially since DD is having even more trouble gaining weight than she already was. She only weighed 11lbs at her 6 month appointment. I've since been trying everything to put weight on her, but I can't help but wonder if it's because of the Prozac. I've also been worrying that I'm not pumping as much milk as she's drinking anymore on a regular basis, especially last night when I only pumped 19oz and she took 24oz during the course of the day. This isn't too much of a problem yet with my stash, but it's only a matter of time before I run out of extra milk to give her. I'm thinking of taking fenugreek to increase my supply because if it's not the Prozac maybe my supply is dropping. I'm so scared she's not getting enough when she nurses from me, too because I can still pump 4-5oz after she nurses, which is a change from 2-3. I'm also having a lot of trouble keeping the self-blaming thoughts at bay.

One accomplishment is that I haven't cried since Monday. At all.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments?
Prozac now up to 20mg a day at night instead of morning since it makes me drowsy. I had an appointment on Monday with my psych where I just broke down crying talking about everything that's gone wrong in my life and how it's my fault. I know her job is to monitor my medication and I should save that stuff for the counselor, but it took me so much by surprise.

I also met with a psychologist who has also has been asking me a lot of history questions because my psychiatrist seems to think my depression has nothing to do with my pregnancy because it's been more than 6 months and I went from getting better to needing medication. Honestly, I don't remember feeling down or anything other than right after my miscarriages, so I wouldn't go that far, but I suppose she is the professional. There is a little thought in the back of my mind wishing I'd chosen to go to someone who specializes in maternal mental health specifically.

GTKY: I live in the Midwest in a suburb of a small city. I like it but I don't. The town I'm in has some issues with how they handle laws, etc. and I wish we had moved to a different town when we came here.

[KayVeeKay]

snarkysparklefart Glad to hear you are now pain-free in regards to teeth. Dental issues are so very painful. I've had to have filling replaced because the existing ones were broken only to find that there was still a cavity underneath. Luckily they were able to save the tooth, but boy was it painful!

icequeen Congrats! Here's to a healthy pregnancy!

RedDDD it's funny you say you don't miss SoCal and like the seasons. DH hates the seasons and misses SoCal, but says it's too expensive to go back. Glad you're starting to feel better!

@erin2021 Congrats to you too!! Moving is so overwhelming without pregnancy or psychiatric symptoms. I hope it gets better for you!

@rocknrollfriend glad to hear you're moods have been better!

@ummaggie2 I'm there with you. I can't sleep and when I finally do get to sleep it's 2-3am. I wake up so exhausted, but I'm afraid to take sleeping pills simply because I have had poor experience with them in the past.

@wallflwr926 Organization was never my strong suit, so I empathize. It's hard to motivate yourself to stay organized when you're tired, too. Just keep it up as best you can and good luck with your HSG!

bluerainfire I really wish I had some concrete advice for you. I'm scared to death DD will have problems stemming from my PPD. If it really becomes a problem, maybe a child psychologist?

spencer1337 Glad the birthday went well and I hope you start feeling more energy soon!

[icequeen]

Hi y'all, hope you're all having a good weekend!

I know I've been saying this a lot but I feel really bad about not being around. The last two days my internet has been out and I suck at doing this on mobile. Internet is back today so I'm hoping to start posting more again! Missed you all. Thank you all for the sweet congratulations. We are thrilled!

@rocknrollfriend, that's awesome that your mood has improved this week! I hope it continues and maybe your new chicks will keep you feeling more at ease and happy. Have things been ok with YH?
@ummaggie2, no no no. You are not a terrible mom for not having the energy to take your kids out every day for activities. Sometimes all you need to do is set them up with some paper and crayons, watch a movie, take a walk outside, play with blocks, or read together. All very low key and you can just supervise. Why are you going to bed so late? Are you able to go to sleep earlier or take a nap while YH is home?
@wallflwr926, I love you so much! Thank you. I feel sad to leave you on our main board but I'm praying that this further testing gives you some answers and you will be closer to getting KU, too.
bluerainfire, I'm so sorry you've been seeing similarities in DS and YH. Have you taken DS in for some kind of evaluation? I forgot how old DS is. Just know that this is most certainly not your fault and there are many options to consider so DS has better behavior in the future. There is still time for him to learn, so don't beat yourself up too much!

[Deleted]

icequeen, thank you for your kind words! I am trying to accept that I may not be the high energy fun mommy for a while. I will just have DH do lots of outdoor activities on weekends... as we have been doing. But it's still hard to let go of that image of "perfect mom".
Btw, I "go to bed" fairly early - 10 at the latest. But I just cannot fall asleep. I just lay on the bed and before I know it, it is 1, 2am. It's frustrating but I'm thankful that I'm getting some sort of rest at least.

[Deleted]

May 11, 2015 16:03:35 GMT -5 @ummaggie2 said:

icequeen, thank you for your kind words! I am trying to accept that I may not be the high energy fun mommy for a while. I will just have DH do lots of outdoor activities on weekends... as we have been doing. But it's still hard to let go of that image of "perfect mom".
Btw, I "go to bed" fairly early - 10 at the latest. But I just cannot fall asleep. I just lay on the bed and before I know it, it is 1, 2am. It's frustrating but I'm thankful that I'm getting some sort of rest at least.

I struggle with not meeting my image of "the perfect mom" too. It is a hard thing to let go. But really, as long as our kids know they are loved, we are their "perfect mom".

[Deleted]

May 9, 2015 16:27:58 GMT -5 icequeen said:

Hi y'all, hope you're all having a good weekend!

I know I've been saying this a lot but I feel really bad about not being around. The last two days my internet has been out and I suck at doing this on mobile. Internet is back today so I'm hoping to start posting more again! Missed you all. Thank you all for the sweet congratulations. We are thrilled!

@rocknrollfriend, that's awesome that your mood has improved this week! I hope it continues and maybe your new chicks will keep you feeling more at ease and happy. Have things been ok with YH?
@ummaggie2, no no no. You are not a terrible mom for not having the energy to take your kids out every day for activities. Sometimes all you need to do is set them up with some paper and crayons, watch a movie, take a walk outside, play with blocks, or read together. All very low key and you can just supervise. Why are you going to bed so late? Are you able to go to sleep earlier or take a nap while YH is home?
@wallflwr926, I love you so much! Thank you. I feel sad to leave you on our main board but I'm praying that this further testing gives you some answers and you will be closer to getting KU, too.
bluerainfire, I'm so sorry you've been seeing similarities in DS and YH. Have you taken DS in for some kind of evaluation? I forgot how old DS is. Just know that this is most certainly not your fault and there are many options to consider so DS has better behavior in the future. There is still time for him to learn, so don't beat yourself up too much!

I'm sorry I haven't been on much lately either. I have been insanely busy at work. Things are going ok with DH, which does help with my moods, and the chickies! Oh the chickies, yes they bring me much joy. DS loves to give them gentle pets and kisses which is so adorable it melts my heart.

[Deleted]

May 8, 2015 14:29:00 GMT -5 KayVeeKay said:

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?
I'm feeling really guilty about taking medication, especially since DD is having even more trouble gaining weight than she already was. She only weighed 11lbs at her 6 month appointment. I've since been trying everything to put weight on her, but I can't help but wonder if it's because of the Prozac. I've also been worrying that I'm not pumping as much milk as she's drinking anymore on a regular basis, especially last night when I only pumped 19oz and she took 24oz during the course of the day. This isn't too much of a problem yet with my stash, but it's only a matter of time before I run out of extra milk to give her. I'm thinking of taking fenugreek to increase my supply because if it's not the Prozac maybe my supply is dropping. I'm so scared she's not getting enough when she nurses from me, too because I can still pump 4-5oz after she nurses, which is a change from 2-3. I'm also having a lot of trouble keeping the self-blaming thoughts at bay.

Have you tried weighed feedings to see how much she's getting? Babies do fluctuate a little in how much milk they need, depending on growth spurts and other developmental milestones. Is there evidence that Prozac can lower milk supply? Did the pedi express concern with her weight gain at her 6 mo appt? Do you have access to an LC or LLL meetings? I can't quite tell from your post but I hope you are getting some support and not dealing with this all on your own!

[runnergirl812]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: generalized anxiety disorder

How is your week going? Could be better. See below.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? I'm struggling with self confidence and motivation at work still. This job has killed my self esteem. I have a PhD. I'm a good medical writer, yet I'm supposed to pull miracles out my @$$ in a subject area that is not my strong point. I'm also the only writer in staff, so there's a lot of pressure. On top of that, I feel like my boss is losing confidence in me.

The interview I had with the other company went really well. Then they sent me a message that it'll be At least 2 weeks before they let me know a decision. I nor the recruiter were happy. They evidently have to interview a few internal referrals, but said I was a "likely" candidate. Ugh!!

I feel so stuck. Just trying to make the best out of a shitty situation. Trying to keep my head up and not let the naysayers get to me.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? No changes in meds. Had a therapy appt last week that was good. My thyroid is now under control at 2.1 which is good.

GTKY: Where are y'all from? Do you like the area you live in? Tell us about it!
I'm from SC. I live in Eastern NC now and hope to eventually move to the coast of NC. I like my area. Lots to do and I love my town home.

[KayVeeKay]

May 11, 2015 16:18:00 GMT -5 @rocknrollfriend said:

May 8, 2015 14:29:00 GMT -5 KayVeeKay said:

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?
I'm feeling really guilty about taking medication, especially since DD is having even more trouble gaining weight than she already was. She only weighed 11lbs at her 6 month appointment. I've since been trying everything to put weight on her, but I can't help but wonder if it's because of the Prozac. I've also been worrying that I'm not pumping as much milk as she's drinking anymore on a regular basis, especially last night when I only pumped 19oz and she took 24oz during the course of the day. This isn't too much of a problem yet with my stash, but it's only a matter of time before I run out of extra milk to give her. I'm thinking of taking fenugreek to increase my supply because if it's not the Prozac maybe my supply is dropping. I'm so scared she's not getting enough when she nurses from me, too because I can still pump 4-5oz after she nurses, which is a change from 2-3. I'm also having a lot of trouble keeping the self-blaming thoughts at bay.

Have you tried weighed feedings to see how much she's getting? Babies do fluctuate a little in how much milk they need, depending on growth spurts and other developmental milestones. Is there evidence that Prozac can lower milk supply? Did the pedi express concern with her weight gain at her 6 mo appt? Do you have access to an LC or LLL meetings? I can't quite tell from your post but I hope you are getting some support and not dealing with this all on your own!

I haven't done a weighed feeding since she was a few weeks old, but I am considering it. There was one study that indicated it might cause weight problems in LO. The pedi wants to do a weight check next week. As for LC/LLL, it's difficult to make the meetings because they're usually while I work. As for a LC, I've been playing phone tag with one for a while now.