School age - same class or different?

[twinmomma]

My kids will be going off to preschool next year, and it's got me thinking. Should they be in the same class or separated? 

This will be their first venture into school/daycare, so I'm planning to keep them together for the first year. But I'm a little nervous given how much they bicker and fight over every little thing in their lives. I don't want them to be obnoxious in the same class, but I think they would get a little freaked out being apart. They constantly ask where the other one is and won't let it go even when we just go run errands separately. 

Any advice or thoughts from more experienced MoMs? Thanks!

[anakah]

My twins have been in the same daycare class since they were 3 months old (4 now). They have very different personalities and their teachers are very good at treating them as individuals and working with their different strengths. They'll assign them to different centers and tables so they aren't constantly together to help foster their independence. Some teachers do it naturally and others I've had to talk with about giving them separate activities.

I've been thinking more and more about putting them in separate classes come time for kindergarten because DS seems to be really clingy to DD and doesn't really have friends outside of DD and her little group of friends. DD is a sweetheart and plays with her brother but there are times when she's tired of him and just wants to play with her friends. I also feel like maybe DS is holding her social development back somehow. If we separate them, it'll force DS to forge a path of his own which would be good for him too. However, I am also really worried about the separation anxiety DS may go through experiencing kindergarten without his sister to calm him.

Sorry, no advice really, just my experiences. I'll be interested to see what others say.

[marshaleigh]

*PAIF lurker

Just to give you a different perspective, I am an elementary teacher and have had lots of twins as students. Most parents choose to separate them. Unfortunately what they don't seem to realize is that teachers are not identical. They expect their two children, in two different classes, to be doing the exact same things every day. Same books, same work, same homework. While topics are the same, good teachers individualize their lessons to meet the unique needs of each class/student they teach. If your children are in two different classes, you need to understand this in advance. You may be doing two entirely different sets of homework each night with your kids.

[twinmomma]

marshaleigh, That thought never crossed my mind, and DH is a teacher! That's a really good point to consider. I think that once they're in older elementary, I'll be more comfortable separating them, even if it does mean more/different work for us. Other folks with two kids in different grades manage it, right?

[ashb62]

I'm not there yet, but as of now I'm planning to keep them together for Preschool and possibly Kindergarten. I think adjusting to school is difficult enough without having to also adjust to being apart daily when they've spent four years together.

I don't think Preschool will be a problem, but I know our district typically separates twins, so I may have to fight for Kindergarten.

[macchiatto]

After a lot of research, we chose to keep them together throughout preschool and for Kindergarten. It's gone really well. We are likely separating them for 1st; I think the time is right now.

[twinmomma]

Thanks for the input!
ashb62 I know in our state, there's actually a law that was passed that says parents of multiples get to choose if they're together or not. The district can't fight you on your decision.

[ashb62]

May 8, 2015 8:20:12 GMT -5 twinmomma said:

Thanks for the input!
ashb62 I know in our state, there's actually a law that was passed that says parents of multiples get to choose if they're together or not. The district can't fight you on your decision.

I'll have to look into it more. I know they typically separate twins, but I'm not sure if there are any specific rules or laws. I do know that a woman who was raising her twin grandchildren was able to get them put in the same class because she was having trouble keeping up with their separate homework. So hopefully it won't be a problem.

[ashb62]

May 8, 2015 11:53:12 GMT -5 ashb62 said:

May 8, 2015 8:20:12 GMT -5 twinmomma said:

Thanks for the input!
ashb62 I know in our state, there's actually a law that was passed that says parents of multiples get to choose if they're together or not. The district can't fight you on your decision.

I'll have to look into it more. I know they typically separate twins, but I'm not sure if there are any specific rules or laws. I do know that a woman who was raising her twin grandchildren was able to get them put in the same class because she was having trouble keeping up with their separate homework. So hopefully it won't be a problem.

I just looked it up and our state has a similar law that was passed four years ago. Good to know I'll be able to choose!

[macchiatto]

Yeah, more and more states have laws like that now. Check www.twinslaw.com.

Also, this thread has a lot of good perspectives and links:
pandce.proboards.com/thread/367568/school-age-multiples

[chaosmuppet]

DS and DD were separated at daycare beginning in pre-school. We continued the trend once they began K. It's the best for both of them really. DD never gets into trouble at school and does what she's told to do the 1st time. DS, on the other hand, has had some issues with listening, staying on task, etc. If they were in the same class, DD would feel compelled to "help" her brother when it's not her responsibility.

Their homework is usually the same worksheet and they always have the same spelling words every week. They do have music and PE together (their classes combine), but being in different classes allows them to shine separately. I also feel like the time apart improves their relationship. Over the summer, when they are in the same summer camp together everyday, the bickering intensifies.

[anakah]

May 11, 2015 10:35:16 GMT -5 chaosmuppet said:

DS and DD were separated at daycare beginning in pre-school. We continued the trend once they began K. It's the best for both of them really. DD never gets into trouble at school and does what she's told to do the 1st time. DS, on the other hand, has had some issues with listening, staying on task, etc. If they were in the same class, DD would feel compelled to "help" her brother when it's not her responsibility.

Their homework is usually the same worksheet and they always have the same spelling words every week. They do have music and PE together (their classes combine), but being in different classes allows them to shine separately. I also feel like the time apart improves their relationship. Over the summer, when they are in the same summer camp together everyday, the bickering intensifies.

This is what is pushing me to separate DD and DS in K.  Their current daycare only has one class for each age group so separating hasn't been an option.  We do push the teachers to give them separate activities/play stations to give them more time apart and I think it helps with their individual personalities.