QOTD 5/7

[junewife]

How many kids do you plan to have, and how did you make your decision?

Apologies, I can't remember whether we've discussed this in the past. It's something that's been on my mind lately because I'm pregnant with #2 and we always said we'd have 2-3 kids. We're 75% sure we're done after this one but I have no idea how we'll make a final decision! It kind of stresses me out and I waffle on it constantly. 

[carli]

I'm pretty much right there with you. Pregnant with #2, always planned 2-3. For us, this will be our last unless our financial situation changes. Unfortunately we just won't be able to afford 3 in daycare, and I'm not sure I could stay home either. I hate to let money be the deciding factor but honestly, it probably will be.

Unless God blesses us with an unplanned 3rd child. I've by no means closed the door on the idea, but am just being realistic about what our plans should be. I'd still really like a 3rd.

[junewife]

May 7, 2015 12:27:36 GMT -5 carli said:

I'm pretty much right there with you. Pregnant with #2, always planned 2-3. For us, this will be our last unless our financial situation changes. Unfortunately we just won't be able to afford 3 in daycare, and I'm not sure I could stay home either. I hate to let money be the deciding factor but honestly, it probably will be.

Unless God blesses us with an unplanned 3rd child. I've by no means closed the door on the idea, but am just being realistic about what our plans should be. I'd still really like a 3rd.

If that's the only thing holding you back, could you wait until LO1 is in kindergarten? Or just stay home for one year?

Granted, I know 3 kids is more expensive than 2 kids for a whole lifetime, not just during daycare days.

I just hate not knowing whether this will be my last pregnancy. I feel like I'm not enjoying it enough.

[lilqt3929]

We would like 2 but I always consider more especially if when we have a 2nd LO it's another girl. I'd just really like to experience having both a daughter and a son but I do always think about that middle child syndrome you always hear about and also going from 2-3 kids seems like it would change a lot more things in day to day life (strollers, vehicles, kids out numbering parents, etc). We are currently about to begin TTC this month and I'm scared/nervous already because we've gotten into such a good routine with LO and I'm scared to throw in another curveball. Ultimately I know things will work themselves out and I am stoked to give DD a sibling!

I am currently a stay at home mom and plan to be with future LO's as well so daycare costs haven't even crossed my mind at all. I can imagine that would play a huge roll into our decision for how many kids we'd end up having.

[sugarkissed]

I'm so torn on this. I've always said 2-3, but leaned more towards 2. Now that I'm pregnant with #2 it's hard to imagine that this might be the last time that I'm pregnant, and our last newborn. DH already talks about #3... So I really don't know! We will see how 2U2 treats us!

[Unknown]

We always said 1-2 and I'm pregnant with #2. I am 100% done after this! If I need another c/s I will get my tubes tied! If I don't need another c/s DH will get snipped. I'm already AMA and DH is older than I am and I don't want to be chasing toddlers around at 40+ and/or paying for college as we approach retirement age. We just always saw ourselves as a smaller family, so we waiting before we started TTC for 7 years into our marriage then I took 2+ years to conceive #1. We were going to try and just see what happened w/ TTC#2 even though we both wanted another, and we are so blessed to be pregnant again....but no more. I hate being pregnant.

[RedDDD]

Had my tubes tied during my second C-section. We are 2 and done. I totally would have more if #1 we had unlimited $$ and #2 if one of us had a part time or more flexible schedule. Once you push into 3 kids its not just day care. Its everything....like your standard 3-4 bedroom house is now too small. You have to have a bigger car to manage 3 car seats. Just the logistics of going to the grocery store etc is IMO waaaay more complicated. I can manage hitting up Target with both of my kiddos by myself (I only do this if its absolutely necessary) but where would you put a third kid? You can't .....for us it just seemed like a shit storm that we were not willing to throw ourselves in.

[fiveohfive]

Having 2u2 is quite chaotic for us right now. Hoping that as DD2 gets older (3wks today!) we will get a "new" normal and at that point decide whether to be 2 and done or go for number 3. As RedDDD said, the logistics of 3 seems to be a bigger step than going from 1 to 2.

Eta: working full time and having bad MS the first 16wks of both previous pregnancies makes me lean towards 2 and done.

[Deleted]

DH wanted 1, maybe 2 kids. I wanted 2, maybe 3 kids. Well, we had twins the first time out. DH now feels like we're done with our family. I still want one more. It's still very much up in the air if we'll head back to our frosties and try for another.

[marley629]

I would like 1 more..2 and through. Ideally I wanted 4 but daycare costs and other financial factors prevent that from being a reality unfortunately. If we had multiples I would feel blessed but at this time, it would be the only way I see having more than 2.

[mommabakes]

We initially wanted 3, but after a hellish newborn experience with DD, we are possibly done after this one. We won't make a final decision until baby #2 is at least 1 year old.

[happymama]

We have always wanted 4. I had a terrible pregnancy with DD and a c-section, so we will see. I can't go through that 3 more times, especially now that I won't just have myself to think about. We are still hoping for 4, but taking it one at a time.

[junewife]

May 8, 2015 8:26:18 GMT -5 mommabakes said:

We initially wanted 3, but after a hellish newborn experience with DD, we are possibly done after this one. We won't make a final decision until baby #2 is at least 1 year old.

I think that's what we're going to do too...reassess when the new baby is 10-12 months old.

DS was a difficult baby (and a terrible sleeper) too, so I hear you!

[joi922]

My husband has said many times that he wants as many kids as I am willing to give him. He would seriously take 6 if I was up for it.

But I'm nowhere close to that. I didn't want kids at all for a very long time. When I finally decided to have kids, I thought 2 max.

I'm currently pregnant with #2. This pregnancy has been MUCH harder than my first. But two weeks ago H made a comment about how we can start trying for #3 this time next year. Hold up there, buddy. I've never actually agreed to a 3rd (just said I would consider it after DS was born). Besides which, if my next pregnancy was anything like this one, I really don't want to be dealing with that while chasing two kids around. I'll also be AMA if we get pregnant again, and don't love the idea of having to work past my current retirement age goal because of college expenses.

But my biggest concern is (perhaps selfishly) how much my husband works. He's a doctor, and works 12 hours shifts 7 days in a row every other week. It's rare he actually leaves after 12 hours, so he misses DS's bedtimes pretty regularly when he's working, leaving me to do everything all day. I'm pretty sure I'd be overwhelmed doing that for 3. So I'm 95% sure we're done after this.

TL;DR - We're probably done after this one (baby #2), but there's a small chance we'll have a 3rd.

Edited to remove italics.   

[junewife]

May 8, 2015 9:52:41 GMT -5 joi922 said:

My husband has said many times that he wants as many kids as I am willing to give him. He would seriously take 6 if I was up for it.

But I'm nowhere close to that. I didn't want kids at all for a very long time. When I finally decided to have kids, I thought 2 max.

I'm currently pregnant with #2. This pregnancy has been MUCH harder than my first. But two weeks ago H made a comment about how we can start trying for #3 this time next year. Hold up there, buddy. I've never actually agreed to a 3rd (just said I would consider it after DS was born). Besides which, if my next pregnancy was anything like this one, I really don't want to be dealing with that while chasing two kids around. I'll also be AMA if we get pregnant again, and don't love the idea of having to work past my current retirement age goal because of college expenses.

But my biggest concern is (perhaps selfishly) how much my husband works. He's a doctor, and works 12 hours shifts 7 days in a row every other week. It's rare he actually leaves after 12 hours, so he misses DS's bedtimes pretty regularly when he's working, leaving me to do everything all day. I'm pretty sure I'd be overwhelmed doing that for 3. So I'm 95% sure we're done after this.

TL;DR - We're probably done after this one (baby #2), but there's a small chance we'll have a 3rd.

Edited to remove italics.   

this is not selfish at all, IMO!

[ajaan113]

1 or 2 kids. However a genetic disease, my age, and DH on a clinical drug study pretty ended our hopes for another kid. Right now, DH is in nursing school, too. Also, our dog is such a big baby.