I was pretty blown away by high school graduation gift registries. I get that you will need lots of things when you move into a dorm room, but having a registry is a bit excessive.
This is a thing? Ugh.
I just had to google what a dollar dance is. Sorry, that seriously icks me out. Paying to dance with the bride?
Yeah I was not happy about it. But it was H's one thing he really wanted. And some of my favorite reception photos were of him and one of his uncles slow dancing.
I was pretty blown away by high school graduation gift registries. I get that you will need lots of things when you move into a dorm room, but having a registry is a bit excessive.
This is a thing? Ugh.
I just had to google what a dollar dance is. Sorry, that seriously icks me out. Paying to dance with the bride?
This was a firm no for me! I didn't want to have to dance with everyone, for money. They are a thing around here, but I don't participate generally. The one exception is that I danced with my SIL, it was nice to have a moment to be able to congratulate her in a more private moment.
I just had to google what a dollar dance is. Sorry, that seriously icks me out. Paying to dance with the bride?
I've never been to a wedding with one, but my understanding is that it's culturally accepted (or maybe even expected) in some parts of the country. I, however, don't bring cash to weddings, because you damn well better not have a cash bar.
It's not their job to get you trashed. It's nice if they provide at least some things, but if you come in demand top shelf mixed drinks, you can go fuck yourself.
I've never been to a wedding with one, but my understanding is that it's culturally accepted (or maybe even expected) in some parts of the country. I, however, don't bring cash to weddings, because you damn well better not have a cash bar.
And what if they do? Will you leave? Take back your gift?
Who was it that said that they wait to see what the venue is like before they write the check? Was it you?
Post by roastytoasty on May 8, 2015 13:13:26 GMT -5
Another FFFC- and feel free to flame- I don't think that specifying what you'd like for wedding gifts is tacky. Gift giving is part of the whole ordeal now (has anyone ever not brought a gift?). The gap between the act of gifting and the taboo of **gasp** telling someone what you might like or appreciate seems outdated.
There will always be someone willing to push it to the edge, but I don't think that including registries or asking for cash is rude or presumptuous. I think it makes things easier and less stressful all around.
Post by ♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪ on May 8, 2015 13:16:05 GMT -5
I love the dollar dance. I had one, but we said no one had to actually pay. I liked getting a few moments with guests. It was nice. Likewise, I like to get a few moments with the bride and/or groom.
Luckily it's pretty common for people to just give cash in my circle. No one ever has to mention it. I give gifts at the shower and cash at the wedding. It's just easier plus no one has to deal with presents at the wedding.
Showers... Showers are another thing entirely.
I've said this before, but I really wish they'd go the way of the dodo.
My family never used to do showers actually. It was very uncommon until recently. I didn't go to my first one until my friend's shower when I was 24. Now I've been to tons of bridal and baby showers. I don't MIND them besides the fact that they are boring.
Another FFFC- and feel free to flame- I don't think that specifying what you'd like for wedding gifts is tacky. Gift giving is part of the whole ordeal now (has anyone ever not brought a gift?). The gap between the act of gifting and the taboo of **gasp** telling someone what you might like or appreciate seems outdated.
There will always be someone willing to push it to the edge, but I don't think that including registries or asking for cash is rude or presumptuous. I think it makes things easier and less stressful all around.
I think this is what it comes down to for me. Are some people asses about it? Yes.
Judging everyone on the actions of the minority doesn't make you the better person.
We started our wedding registry last weekend. It was so uncomfortable. We didn't know what to include so now we have an electric can opener and cheese knives listed. I also don't get why promposals or graduation registries are a thing. If I'd been promposed to, I think it would have been really awkward.
FFFC: I've just discovered One Direction and now I can't stop myself. Sometimes I lurk on Parenting just for the 1D gifs, and take my dog on walks just to listen to 1D in peace. It's been a slippery slope.
Another FFFC- and feel free to flame- I don't think that specifying what you'd like for wedding gifts is tacky. Gift giving is part of the whole ordeal now (has anyone ever not brought a gift?). The gap between the act of gifting and the taboo of **gasp** telling someone what you might like or appreciate seems outdated.
There will always be someone willing to push it to the edge, but I don't think that including registries or asking for cash is rude or presumptuous. I think it makes things easier and less stressful all around.
Putting a link to your registry on your wedding website in an inconspicuous place =/= asking for cash
But neither one bothers me. I don't think its inappropriate for the couple to just be honest that they'd prefer cash, rather than farming the task out to a family member to drop hints to everyone. That seems more shady to me, even if it is the accepted norm.
Another FFFC- and feel free to flame- I don't think that specifying what you'd like for wedding gifts is tacky. Gift giving is part of the whole ordeal now (has anyone ever not brought a gift?). The gap between the act of gifting and the taboo of **gasp** telling someone what you might like or appreciate seems outdated.
There will always be someone willing to push it to the edge, but I don't think that including registries or asking for cash is rude or presumptuous. I think it makes things easier and less stressful all around.
Putting a link to your registry on your wedding website in an inconspicuous place =/= asking for cash
Yeah, because everyone has a wedding website.
And everyone has internet at home and get to that info easily.
When the fuck did wedding websites become a thing?
I am my husband's second wife. We had all the things already. This or people not getting married until they are older and having an established home already are very common.
And no, we didn't register for a honeymoon. Just some specialty stuff we didn't have or some nicer versions of a few things.
Registries are for things you want. As a gift giver, it's generally considered good form to give people shit they might actually need/use. I don't take inventories of all the storage areas of my friends and families homes, so it's helpful to have some kind of list to direct me to shit they might actually want.
Totally agreed, I'm the 3rd wife (have fun with that) and we had two apartments worth of stuff ton combine. We registered for things primarily so i could buy them myself with the completion discount after the wedding! Just had a debate about this, I always try to give cash based on the newlyweds can buy their gift with the discount if they really want it? The honeymoon funds do irk me though, I don't want someone taking a cut of your intended gift!
Now you decide to post. I'm about to leave the office for the afternoon.
Guise please be nice to Pepperpotts. She's my sister IRL.
I laugh that people bitch about the extravagant cost of weddings and receptions and get all bent out of shape if all the alcohol isn't provided.
Um, you know what one really big expense is? Yeah.
There are ways to do it without breaking the bank. I got married on a budget. We got married at someone's house, had two "signature cocktails" which we served during cocktail hour, and then had only wine and beer for the rest of the night, which we bought at Costco and Trader Joe's. If someone thought I was cheap because I was not rolling out the Grey Goose, fuck them. But I would feel super weird about inviting people to my wedding, after they had traveled there and had likely bought a gift, and then asking them to pay for alcohol.
Totally agreed, I'm the 3rd wife (have fun with that) and we had two apartments worth of stuff ton combine. We registered for things primarily so i could buy them myself with the completion discount after the wedding! Just had a debate about this, I always try to give cash based on the newlyweds can buy their gift with the discount if they really want it? The honeymoon funds do irk me though, I don't want someone taking a cut of your intended gift!
Now you decide to post. I'm about to leave the office for the afternoon.
Guise please be nice to Pepperpotts. She's my sister IRL.
Number One: Born 06.16.2009 BFP: 01.17.2014 / MC 02.05.2014 BFP: 03.08.2014 / MMC: 05.07.2014 Dx: Partial Molar/GTD. Benched until 01.2015 Number Two: Born 07.22.2016
Post by goldenlove3 on May 8, 2015 13:25:18 GMT -5
I don't think I've ever seen a dollar dance but it used to be common in my family to do something with dollar bills. I don't even know how to explain correctly but the bride and groom dance and people would take turns "showering" the couple with dollar bills. It was almost like "making it rain" before that phrase was even a thing. I just remember as a kid, we would all go to the dance floor and collect the bills and put them into bags for the bride and groom. Really weird. That tradition stopped a while ago.
ETA: Looks like we've moved on from the dollar dance talk. Oops!
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