Stupid things other people say...

[courtyowl27]

I can't stand when people question my choices of what to eat, drink, do etc. Two male surgeons, both fathers, watched me change the 5 gallon water jug in the office. Then they proceeded to tell me I shouldn't do that or " I might lose my pregnancy." First, that is a terrible thing to say. Second, then get off you ass and offer to help me if you think it's unsafe. Lastly, if I felt I couldn't do it, I wouldn't.

[courtyowl27]

I can't stand when people question my choices of what to eat, drink, do etc. Two male surgeons, both fathers, watched me change the 5 gallon water jug in the office. Then they proceeded to tell me I shouldn't do that or " I might lose my pregnancy." First, that is a terrible thing to say. Second, then get off you ass and offer to help me if you think it's unsafe. Lastly, if I felt I couldn't do it, I wouldn't.

[jcprn]

Jan 22, 2015 12:23:09 GMT -5 nchauhan said:

I commute 30 minutes to work in an area that is lower income and is mostly older white people. Most of my patients are super sweet and respectful, but I do get a lot of comments about if I'm a real doctor or just slightly racist comments in general. I have a wedding photo up in my office. This morning I had a patient glance at my wedding picture, then glance at my stomach and say, "oh you're expecting??" I replied that I was and that MH and I were excited. She looked at me with a funny face and then said, "oh, well I hope your child forgives you for making it a mixed race. It's going to be made fun of in school".

My mouth just dropped open. Finishing her exam was extremely difficult.

My mouth dropped open just reading this! Holy crap!

[ombradellarosa]

Jan 22, 2015 12:23:09 GMT -5 nchauhan said:

I commute 30 minutes to work in an area that is lower income and is mostly older white people. Most of my patients are super sweet and respectful, but I do get a lot of comments about if I'm a real doctor or just slightly racist comments in general. I have a wedding photo up in my office. This morning I had a patient glance at my wedding picture, then glance at my stomach and say, "oh you're expecting??" I replied that I was and that MH and I were excited. She looked at me with a funny face and then said, "oh, well I hope your child forgives you for making it a mixed race. It's going to be made fun of in school".

My mouth just dropped open. Finishing her exam was extremely difficult.

I know you already know this, but that is bull****. It's not uncommon to be mixed race anymore and I will tell you that I got made fun of plenty in school, but NEVER ONCE for being mixed. I have always thought of it as an extra special kind of thing. And my (admittedly very biased) mum says mixed babies are the prettiest! So congratulations to your future child! (Although this I think came more from growing up in the 70s and having to justify herself, I don't think single-race babies are any less inherently pretty than mixed ones.)

[Fragglemom]

Coffee Police! "Are you sure you should be drinking that Starbucks?"

It's decaf.

[elbowpasta]

Jan 22, 2015 12:23:09 GMT -5 nchauhan said:

I commute 30 minutes to work in an area that is lower income and is mostly older white people. Most of my patients are super sweet and respectful, but I do get a lot of comments about if I'm a real doctor or just slightly racist comments in general. I have a wedding photo up in my office. This morning I had a patient glance at my wedding picture, then glance at my stomach and say, "oh you're expecting??" I replied that I was and that MH and I were excited. She looked at me with a funny face and then said, "oh, well I hope your child forgives you for making it a mixed race. It's going to be made fun of in school".

My mouth just dropped open. Finishing her exam was extremely difficult.

Oh. My. Are you serious?

That is... Too much for me. I'm sorry that happened...

[mixnmatch372]

The phrase "you're eating for two" is driving me insane!

[mcp6286]

OMG you guys. My grandma just said the most truly horrible thing I think I've ever heard and I'm still reeling! I talked to her for the first time since getting pregnant and it went like this:

Grandma: you know, K and J [my cousins] are both pregnant too. That means one of you will probably lose the baby. They're both farther along than you, so you better start praying that it's not you. It usually is earlier, but it could be one of them instead.

OMG. Just...what? Did she seriously just tell me to pray that one of my cousins loses her baby? Hell no! We can certainly ALL have healthy babies!!! For the love of God...

[nchauhan]

Jan 22, 2015 13:22:47 GMT -5 ombradellarosa said:

Jan 22, 2015 12:23:09 GMT -5 nchauhan said:

I commute 30 minutes to work in an area that is lower income and is mostly older white people. Most of my patients are super sweet and respectful, but I do get a lot of comments about if I'm a real doctor or just slightly racist comments in general. I have a wedding photo up in my office. This morning I had a patient glance at my wedding picture, then glance at my stomach and say, "oh you're expecting??" I replied that I was and that MH and I were excited. She looked at me with a funny face and then said, "oh, well I hope your child forgives you for making it a mixed race. It's going to be made fun of in school".

My mouth just dropped open. Finishing her exam was extremely difficult.

I know you already know this, but that is bull****. It's not uncommon to be mixed race anymore and I will tell you that I got made fun of plenty in school, but NEVER ONCE for being mixed. I have always thought of it as an extra special kind of thing. And my (admittedly very biased) mum says mixed babies are the prettiest! So congratulations to your future child! (Although this I think came more from growing up in the 70s and having to justify herself, I don't think single-race babies are any less inherently pretty than mixed ones.)

I know exactly what you mean.  I have a lot of cousins that married someone of a different race, and not one of those kids were ever made fun of for that.  I just couldn't believe anyone would say that...even in this community.  My husband jokes that he's pale as a ghost and that his gift to his kids is marrying me so that they won't have to tan hahah


Thanks for all the support ladies.  I know that woman was just a racist old lady but it still hurt for a few seconds.  It helps to know that I'm not overreacting. 

[gingerbabe]

Jan 22, 2015 13:49:47 GMT -5 mixnmatch372 said:

The phrase "you're eating for two" is driving me insane!

My DH says this all the time even though I told him it drives me crazy! When I was pregnant with DD, I was still BFing DS and so he would say I'm eating for three. That also drove me crazy!

[nchauhan]

Jan 22, 2015 15:10:08 GMT -5 mcp6286 said:

OMG you guys. My grandma just said the most truly horrible thing I think I've ever heard and I'm still reeling! I talked to her for the first time since getting pregnant and it went like this:

Grandma: you know, K and J [my cousins] are both pregnant too. That means one of you will probably lose the baby. They're both farther along than you, so you better start praying that it's not you. It usually is earlier, but it could be one of them instead.

OMG. Just...what? Did she seriously just tell me to pray that one of my cousins loses her baby? Hell no! We can certainly ALL have healthy babies!!! For the love of God...

Holy shit! I can't believe that came out of someone's mouth! Goodness..  Let's just pray for all three of you to have healthy babies!

[Deleted]

Jan 22, 2015 12:23:09 GMT -5 nchauhan said:

I commute 30 minutes to work in an area that is lower income and is mostly older white people. Most of my patients are super sweet and respectful, but I do get a lot of comments about if I'm a real doctor or just slightly racist comments in general. I have a wedding photo up in my office. This morning I had a patient glance at my wedding picture, then glance at my stomach and say, "oh you're expecting??" I replied that I was and that MH and I were excited. She looked at me with a funny face and then said, "oh, well I hope your child forgives you for making it a mixed race. It's going to be made fun of in school".

My mouth just dropped open. Finishing her exam was extremely difficult.

Holy shit that is rude!!

[Deleted]

Jan 22, 2015 15:10:08 GMT -5 mcp6286 said:

OMG you guys. My grandma just said the most truly horrible thing I think I've ever heard and I'm still reeling! I talked to her for the first time since getting pregnant and it went like this:

Grandma: you know, K and J [my cousins] are both pregnant too. That means one of you will probably lose the baby. They're both farther along than you, so you better start praying that it's not you. It usually is earlier, but it could be one of them instead.

OMG. Just...what? Did she seriously just tell me to pray that one of my cousins loses her baby? Hell no! We can certainly ALL have healthy babies!!! For the love of God...

OMG that is awful!!!

[Deleted]

Jan 22, 2015 15:12:04 GMT -5 nchauhan said:

Jan 22, 2015 13:22:47 GMT -5 ombradellarosa said:

I know you already know this, but that is bull****. It's not uncommon to be mixed race anymore and I will tell you that I got made fun of plenty in school, but NEVER ONCE for being mixed. I have always thought of it as an extra special kind of thing. And my (admittedly very biased) mum says mixed babies are the prettiest! So congratulations to your future child! (Although this I think came more from growing up in the 70s and having to justify herself, I don't think single-race babies are any less inherently pretty than mixed ones.)

I know exactly what you mean.  I have a lot of cousins that married someone of a different race, and not one of those kids were ever made fun of for that.  I just couldn't believe anyone would say that...even in this community.  My husband jokes that he's pale as a ghost and that his gift to his kids is marrying me so that they won't have to tan hahah


Thanks for all the support ladies.  I know that woman was just a racist old lady but it still hurt for a few seconds.  It helps to know that I'm not overreacting. 

She sounds crazy. I think mixed race babies are beautiful!

[mmo2112]

Jan 22, 2015 15:12:04 GMT -5 nchauhan said:

Jan 22, 2015 13:22:47 GMT -5 ombradellarosa said:

I know you already know this, but that is bull****. It's not uncommon to be mixed race anymore and I will tell you that I got made fun of plenty in school, but NEVER ONCE for being mixed. I have always thought of it as an extra special kind of thing. And my (admittedly very biased) mum says mixed babies are the prettiest! So congratulations to your future child! (Although this I think came more from growing up in the 70s and having to justify herself, I don't think single-race babies are any less inherently pretty than mixed ones.)

I know exactly what you mean.  I have a lot of cousins that married someone of a different race, and not one of those kids were ever made fun of for that.  I just couldn't believe anyone would say that...even in this community.  My husband jokes that he's pale as a ghost and that his gift to his kids is marrying me so that they won't have to tan hahah

Thanks for all the support ladies.  I know that woman was just a racist old lady but it still hurt for a few seconds.  It helps to know that I'm not overreacting. 

Motherfucker. I hate that it even had to hurt for a few seconds. You are beyond justified in being pissed and IMO you're definitely not overreacting. In fact, major props to you for being able to keep it together and finish her exam.

Also, I don't remember much of anything about bio or psych from college, but I seem to remember some study or studies finding that mixed race people are actually perceived as being better looking--they tend to have more symmetrical facial features? Or something? Either way, your kids will be lovely--and they won't be racist old ladies, so there's that.

[Stormy61]

Jan 22, 2015 13:47:28 GMT -5 Fragglemom said:

Coffee Police! "Are you sure you should be drinking that Starbucks?"

It's decaf.

Mine is not decaf and I will happily tell them that!

[gigi3126]

Jan 21, 2015 21:21:13 GMT -5 budders said:

Luckily, the only person who has tried to touch my stomach so far is one of my students. I was warned to be careful from previous teachers because apparently she likes to try to lift up your shirt to check out the baby. 

Yikes! What grade? My 9th graders are pretty good about it.  They ask a ton of random (but appropriate) questions and are always trying to convince me to name the baby after them, but none of them has tried to touch yet. 

[hb4]

My MIL told us we couldn't find out the sex as if something happened and the baby died we would be too attached. WTF?! ObviouSly not knowing the sex means we wouldn't be attached at all...

[gingerbabe]

Jan 22, 2015 16:23:36 GMT -5 @kej0004 said:

Jan 22, 2015 12:43:06 GMT -5 gingerbabe said:

We are pregnant with #3 and we've only been married for 3 years, so I get so many people with each of my pregnancies ask if it was planned. And my sister-in-law joked "you do know how that happens right". I also get people asking what we've used for birth control if I do mention it wasn't so planned. I am not ok with people (other than close friends) asking about my bedroom habits. They don't need to know my husband feels like his penis is being suffocated when he wears a condom, and I hate the idea of hormonal birth control or copper IUD and so we've tried the calender method and "failed" 3 times. We happen to want kids and love kids, so who cares that we happen to be having them fast. It's none of their business. I don't want anyone thinking my children are unwanted or unloved in any way just because we didn't plan out our pregnancies. 

Not trying to get all up in your business, but if you're not in to artificial birth control and don't like condoms, there are lots of real, scientifically proven options that have the same effectiveness ratings as artificial/hormonal birth control. Look into the Marquette, sympto-thermal, Creighton, and Billings methods if you're interested in something more reliable for spacing out children than the calendar method. (But obviously children are wonderful, so if you're comfortable with calendar method, you go girl! Just putting the info out there in case you weren't aware already.   )

Hormonal birth control freaks me out, too, so we use sympto-thermal and check with Marquette.

Thank you!!! I will look into that! For the sake of my sanity and body (I feel like I'm falling apart with this third pregnancy) we need to try a whole lot harder to prevent #4 from happening anytime soon.

[mnp48]

Jan 22, 2015 15:10:08 GMT -5 mcp6286 said:

OMG you guys. My grandma just said the most truly horrible thing I think I've ever heard and I'm still reeling! I talked to her for the first time since getting pregnant and it went like this:

Grandma: you know, K and J [my cousins] are both pregnant too. That means one of you will probably lose the baby. They're both farther along than you, so you better start praying that it's not you. It usually is earlier, but it could be one of them instead.

OMG. Just...what? Did she seriously just tell me to pray that one of my cousins loses her baby? Hell no! We can certainly ALL have healthy babies!!! For the love of God...

Woah. Grandma has a nasty streak. I can't believe she said that! My grandma isn't a saint either so I'm waiting for her to do what she does best and criticize my weight gain.

[mnp48]

Jan 22, 2015 13:15:01 GMT -5 ombradellarosa said:

Jan 22, 2015 9:25:27 GMT -5 jbartsy said:

"Ooh, baby's growing! You're getting fat!"

...um, that "fat" is actually my uterus, thank you very much. And under what circumstance is it ever ok to tell someone they're getting fat?

Oh, and MIL: "I can't wait! My baby is going to have princess everything!"

...first of all, this is not your baby. Second of all, no. Just no.

Noooooooooo

Jan 22, 2015 10:25:16 GMT -5 mnp48 said:

BIL: We beat you to it.

-I didn't realize this was a contest. Also, dipshiet, we weren't trying (yet).

And then....

BIL: We figured you were trying.

-I didn't realize you can see into our bedroom - from way over there.

BIL has always been a DB towards DH. The kid just rubs me the wrong. UGH.

Ugh. My BIL is a douchenugget too. When I finally convinced DH to call him to tell him the news, his response was "Did you get it done yourself, or did you have to have someone take care of that for you?" Wow. Really dude? Just because you've been bugging us to have a kid since we got married doesn't mean we have been trying that long. And if we had, how awfully insensitive and rude. As though there were something wrong with my husband if we had infertility issues. It makes me fume. It's just like him. And it doesn't make sense because he and his wife have experienced difficulty with pregnancy as well as loss. I would expect him to be more sensitive about stuff like that. But he's been a jerk to my poor husband since he was a kid.

I wish I could round up the bad siblings and let them duke it out. There is always that one in the family, huh?

[jessila]

I've had pretty miserable morning sickness for the last 12 weeks. People either tell me that my baby is going to be so healthy OR they tell me about someone who was sick their whole pregnancy. Meanwhile, I just want to puke on them and move on.

Also, every wives tale. Everything. But it's funny because half of them say X means a boy while the other half say X means a girl.
And lots of sleep now and just you waits.

And people want to know what I'm craving. Cravings are random. Unless you're going to go get something for me, don't make me think about it.

[apollo11235]

Jan 22, 2015 19:00:21 GMT -5 gingerbabe said:

Jan 22, 2015 16:23:36 GMT -5 @kej0004 said:

Not trying to get all up in your business, but if you're not in to artificial birth control and don't like condoms, there are lots of real, scientifically proven options that have the same effectiveness ratings as artificial/hormonal birth control. Look into the Marquette, sympto-thermal, Creighton, and Billings methods if you're interested in something more reliable for spacing out children than the calendar method. (But obviously children are wonderful, so if you're comfortable with calendar method, you go girl! Just putting the info out there in case you weren't aware already.   )

Hormonal birth control freaks me out, too, so we use sympto-thermal and check with Marquette.

Thank you!!! I will look into that! For the sake of my sanity and body (I feel like I'm falling apart with this third pregnancy) we need to try a whole lot harder to prevent #4 from happening anytime soon.

I highly recommend reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I read it and used FAM to avoid for a year and a half before we decided to try for this one.

[nettje]

Jan 22, 2015 20:31:41 GMT -5 apollo11235 said:

Jan 22, 2015 19:00:21 GMT -5 gingerbabe said:

Thank you!!! I will look into that! For the sake of my sanity and body (I feel like I'm falling apart with this third pregnancy) we need to try a whole lot harder to prevent #4 from happening anytime soon.

I highly recommend reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I read it and used FAM to avoid for a year and a half before we decided to try for this one.

+1

TCOYF is an awesome resource and I used temping and charting as a way to avoid pregnancy for 9 months before we decided to TTC with DD. I also used it for the two plus years between DD and this pregnancy.

[mcp6286]

Jan 22, 2015 15:27:39 GMT -5 nchauhan said:

Jan 22, 2015 15:10:08 GMT -5 mcp6286 said:

OMG you guys. My grandma just said the most truly horrible thing I think I've ever heard and I'm still reeling! I talked to her for the first time since getting pregnant and it went like this:

Grandma: you know, K and J [my cousins] are both pregnant too. That means one of you will probably lose the baby. They're both farther along than you, so you better start praying that it's not you. It usually is earlier, but it could be one of them instead.

OMG. Just...what? Did she seriously just tell me to pray that one of my cousins loses her baby? Hell no! We can certainly ALL have healthy babies!!! For the love of God...

Holy shit! I can't believe that came out of someone's mouth! Goodness..  Let's just pray for all three of you to have healthy babies!

Thanks! I certainly am and I would hope she would be doing the same! I'm still in shock. I had no idea how to even react to that in the moment. Wtf man?

[housewifebecomesher]

I'm having a hard time focusing on coming up with something that wasn't in a post today on our formerly awesome BMB. Sorry!

[gingerbabe]

Jan 22, 2015 20:45:40 GMT -5 nettje said:

Jan 22, 2015 20:31:41 GMT -5 apollo11235 said:

I highly recommend reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I read it and used FAM to avoid for a year and a half before we decided to try for this one.

+1

TCOYF is an awesome resource and I used temping and charting as a way to avoid pregnancy for 9 months before we decided to TTC with DD. I also used it for the two plus years between DD and this pregnancy.

Did you use this method while BFing your DD? I'm just wondering if this is not an option until my cycles are regular.

[laurenlou83]

One of my coworkers is constantly saying 'you better get all the sleep you can now!!'
Somehow I don't think sleeping now is going to help me during sleepless nights to come. When I'm running on empty I doubt I'll think 'Damn, glad I got that sleep back in January because I feel great'. Just saying.

[nettje]

Jan 22, 2015 21:24:22 GMT -5 gingerbabe said:

Jan 22, 2015 20:45:40 GMT -5 nettje said:

+1

TCOYF is an awesome resource and I used temping and charting as a way to avoid pregnancy for 9 months before we decided to TTC with DD. I also used it for the two plus years between DD and this pregnancy.

Did you use this method while BFing your DD? I'm just wondering if this is not an option until my cycles are regular.

I tried but couldn't find a pattern. My book was also packed away while I was BF DD as we moved shortly after her birth so I wasn't able to reference it. I'd check out fertility friend (awesome app to chart your cycles) and look at their tutorials. I'm sure they have something about BF and charting there. I only just started using fertility friend after I stopped BF.

ETA: I checked the tutorials quickly but couldn't find it. TCOYF does have a chapter on it though. 

[Deleted]

Jan 22, 2015 21:38:07 GMT -5 laurenlou83 said:

One of my coworkers is constantly saying 'you better get all the sleep you can now!!'
Somehow I don't think sleeping now is going to help me during sleepless nights to come. When I'm running on empty I doubt I'll think 'Damn, glad I got that sleep back in January because I feel great'. Just saying.

I don't understand when people say this either. It's not like you can load up on sleep and keep some on reserve for when you really need it most! It's not comp time.