Advice Needed (NBR)

[tenniscourt]

I posted in the Monday randoms that my best friend's father wasn't doing well. He ended up passing away that night. The whole thing came about very suddenly.

Their family is very involved in the community and I know they will be flooded with flowers and food. My friend has always had what I would consider a spiritual connection to birds. She also adores jewelry. I was thinking about getting her a neat piece of jewelry with a bird in remembrance of her dad.

Do you guys think that is a good idea? I want to do something for her but like I said I know they will have tons of food and flowers. Does anyone have any other ideas?

Thanks in advance!  

[caer]

I think that's lovely tenniscourt. My DH's father passed away 6 years ago and lots of people sent things. The flowers and food were thoughtful and appreciated but I know the personal items really touched him.

[carseat]

I'm so sorry to hear this.

I have mixed feelings about memorial jewelry. When we lost our son a got a lot of jewelry from people. I appreciated the thought each and every time, but I have a lot of sad necklaces now. One in particular actually is still just too much for me to even think about and I cry when I remember the moment I opened it. I wish I hadn't received that one but feel I can't get rid of it.

So it's a tough call, because it's hard to say how someone might feel receiving it. I always feel like such a Debbie Downer saying that, but in any case I would say that it's more likely that she'll really appreciate such a sweet gesture, especially the way you've explained it here.

I also want to mention that while gift cards for food were a huge help when we were getting through rough times, I actually don't love getting flowers when someone has died. They're pretty, but then they die and a week later you have to throw them out. The week after we lost our son we had to throw out an entire garbage bag full of flowers, and it was just really, really fucking sad.

I'm so sorry for your friend's loss, and I'm glad that she has you for love and support right now. (((hugs)))

[tenniscourt]

Jan 21, 2015 17:03:42 GMT -5 Dreaming said:

I'm so sorry for your and your friends loss. I think that the idea of getting her a keepsake is wonderful and sweet. I'm sure that you can find an Etsy seller that will be able to make the perfect thing.

I have something on my Etsy favorites actually. For some reason I was worried it was strange to give something like that but I mean she's my best friend and I know her well. I'm glad that others think it's a good idea. 

[tenniscourt]

Jan 21, 2015 17:07:01 GMT -5 megash113 said:

That's an amazing idea. Did she get to say goodbye to him? I know she was heading there that day...

Just a little tidbit: jewelry can be a great comfort. When my best friend's mom died, I essentially lost my surrogate mom. Bff gave me one of her mom's necklaces, and I wear it everyday. I wore it when I gave birth to LO. It gives me strength and allows me to feel a connection to her. It seems like a small thing, but having that something that I can hold or kiss or touch during the day gives me tangible and very real comfort.

Beautiful idea. You're a great friend. Make sure to allow yourself to grieve too, ok? Hugs.

She did get to say goodbye. 

Thanks for your personal story. 

[vshumway]

I think it is a beautiful idea. You might even be able to get his initials inscribed in the back; depending on how it was set up.

[tenniscourt]

carseat I had that thought as well. I think it will be well received based on her personality but I mean with things like this it's not easy to predict. I'm going to go for it but I appreciate your perspective.

[mevaroo]

I'm sorry for your loss. This seems like a sweet idea, especially since you're close friends.

[carseat]

Jan 21, 2015 17:13:17 GMT -5 tenniscourt said:

carseat I had that thought as well. I think it will be well received based on her personality but I mean with things like this it's not easy to predict. I'm going to go for it but I appreciate your perspective.

Perfect. ♥ I especially think the symbolism makes a big difference and she's going to love that you've chosen something that's so representative of their relationship.

[caer]

tenniscourt - as a follow-up to what carseat said, a small tree that can be planted or an inside plant are alternatives to flowers if you don't want to go with the jewelry. My MIL received a lovely indoor plant that she still has to this day.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

[bmbrinson09]

I think it is a beautiful thought.

[ellewills618]

I'm sorry for your loss. I think that sounds like a really neat and thoughtful idea. I bet Etsy would have some great options and personalizations if you wanted to add names or dates.

[mamajop]

I'm so sorry. Your idea sounds lovely. I agree about not sending flowers, but maybe I'm weird. I hate flowers.

[MadisonPenny]

That's a great idea. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. 

[rondackhiker]

I think it's a lovely idea.

You're a kind friend.

[chiawombat]

I think this is such a thoughtful thing to do. I'm so sorry for your friend.

[wildflowers]

I am so sorry. That is a really nice idea. I also like caer's idea.

[jammersc]

I think this is a beautiful gesture. I'm sorry for your loss.

[gingerM84]

That is so thoughtful of you and I'm sure it will bring her comfort. So sorry for her loss.

[bepandnick]

I think it's a lovely and thoughtful gesture. Your friend is lucky to have you. I'm so sorry for her loss.

[MissMarch]

I'm sorry for your loss, tenniscourt. I think your idea is great; I imagine a token as thoughtful and personal as the one you plan to give will be a big comfort to your friend.

When I read your post, this came to mind: www.etsy.com/listing/62787182/turquoise-bird-on-branch-necklace-winter?ref=shop_home_active_23

[hashtagrainbow]

I'm so sorry for your loss. That's such a thoughtful idea to commemorate him for your friend. She's lucky to have you. (((Hugs)))