Med-free Monday (5/11)

[carolyngrace]

Good morning to those planning to go med free and those still thinking about it! My midwife asked me last week if I'd be wanting a "natural" birth and I gave her the strangest look. I'll be at a birthing center, so I thought that was obvious! But she reminded me they offer Nubian to "take the edge off and help you rest." So on that note:

Weeks / FTM etc / planned birthing location:

How "med free" are you planning to go?

Biggest fear at this point?

Questions/comments/other?

[carolyngrace]

37 weeks / FTM / free-standing birthing center.

I'm open to Nubian to help me relax, if labor isn't as speedy as I'm predicting. The Epi is the main thing in hoping to avoid, but if I end up needing to be induced I would consider it.

I'm feeling pretty confident about giving birth, just anxious about having things ready, DH being rested and prepared (he's been totally sucked into work), and my mom not being offended if we don't invite her in.

Also, I have moments where I'm terrified of the pain, who am I kidding?

Questions for any STMs+ who have gone med free- what was the most painful part? Transition? The ring of fire? Something else?

[mathistm]

34 weeks1d FTM here. I am giving birth in a hospital labor and delivery wing.
After watching my sister give birth last week I feel like my perspective on med free has really cemented. She had planned to get whatever meds necessary. Her water broke at 1pm and she rode things out for awhile. About 8pm she got the Nubian through her IV once she was in tears from her contractions. That lasted about 2 hours and she felt really "drunk" the entire time. She threw up a few times. At about 1am she got an intrathecal which is a one time shot in the back so she could rest. That lasted about 4 hours bringing her to 5am. Once the doctors switched shifts at 7 her new doc started her on pitocin because the pain meds had slowed her labor to almost a complete stop. She ended up starting to push at 11 and had the baby at 11:40 with no meds in her system.
I know it's different for everyone-the amount of times certain meds last etc but I feel like for her all it did was slow labor down, keep her in bed, and make her sick. The ob even said that she may have had the baby much sooner without the meds because they stopped her labor.
I plan on going completely med free after seeing all of that. Her hospital didn't offer an epidural at all because it was a very small hospital that hardly ever has an anesthesiologist on staff. My hospital does offer it but I don't want it.
Yesterday I asked her the worst part about labor and she said it was when the contractions got really bad. I thought it would be actually pushing the baby out without meds but she said she felt so much pressure at that point it was a relief! I asked her if there was anything she would change and she said she would want to know more about changing positions and getting through contractions better. She was so unprepared for that because she planned on meds the whole time. Once she had meds they made her stay in bed. Even when I tried to get her up on her knees to relieve pressure in her back the nurse came in and made her lay back down on her back.
My biggest thing now is learning every possible position to change into during contractions and every way to get through a contraction.

[noname83]

Weeks / FTM etc / planned birthing location: 34w1d, FTM, and will deliver at a hospital (albeit under a MW's care and one that is known for being med-free friendly). I think the stat for 2014 was something like 50% med-free births.

How "med free" are you planning to go? The ideal plan is to go 100% med-free. I'm not going to be a martyr if it's terrible, but I'd like to avoid an epidural.

Biggest fear at this point? That I go into labor early and I'm not mentally ready. I still need to meet with my doula, which I think will help me feel a little more in control.

Questions/comments/other? I went to the hospital's natural childbirth class a week ago and it was really good for DH. Made me feel better too. The nurses are good about suggesting different positions, and they're generally lax with restrictions. They don't do continuous monitoring, IVs, and other things that keep you stuck in bed unless there is a medical indication that you need it. Also, their monitors are wireless. They have tubs in most of the rooms to labor in, I think I want to give that a try. I'm a little nervous that I'll get there on a busy day, all the rooms with tubs are full and I won't get one.

[Deleted]

Thanks for posting this week. I totally forgot it last Monday.

35 weeks - med free in hospital - STM but first time med free

I hope to have no interventions or meds at all.

I'm going to wax all unicorns and glitter here and say that I am working on completely letting go of any fears. It's going to happen no matter what I think. Women have been doing this for hundreds of thousands of years. Humans are the only animals on the planet who consciously fear the process instead of just doing it. This fear based midset is largely a western phenomenon. I can do this and that's the only thought I allow myself to have about the process. Now, all that said, come back and talk to me in a month and a half and we'll see how long I was able to keep the mantra going.

My doula has never delivered at my hospital before so she went over to do a tour and ask questions. She told me the staff was incredibly welcoming and accomodating. They save the tub rooms for med free moms and have nurses who are experienced in med free birth so when the time comes for us to leave for the hospital, she will call ahead to let them know and they will have us all set up within our plan. This has put my mind incredibly at ease.

[wink568]

Weeks / FTM etc / planned birthing location: 35+6 weeks / FTM / Hospital

How "med free" are you planning to go? Completely, though I'd mostly like to avoid the epidural.

Biggest fear at this point? Other than the complete unknown about how the contractions will actually feel to me, I'd say having to get induced and deal with the super intense pitocin contractions.

Questions/comments/other? I'll be discussing my birth plan more in depth with my OB this week, but she seems pretty on board with the med free. She started talking delivery immediately after my GBS swab, so I didn't want to run over to my purse pants-less to pull out the little birth plan checklist I downloaded from the hospital last week.

[periwinkledaydreams]

Weeks / FTM etc / planned birthing location: 33w5d / FTM / birthing in a hospital setting in what they call The Family Birthplace (no longer L&D) I know it is just a title, but they have changed many policies and are very family focused (ie all individual rooms, all rooming in, the only "nursery" is the NICU)

How "med free" are you planning to go? I'm hoping to go all the way med free, but I am keeping my mind open, with the main emphasis on avoiding the epi. I've been recommended for induction at 37 weeks by my MFM due to my symptoms and I'm also trying to put this off as long as possible or avoid it entirely.

Biggest fear at this point? With a nod to @jimbobcooter's answer, I am completely focused on birthing my baby without fear. At this point I have let go of all fear of pain in the process, I think mostly because I have been in so much pain for such a large portion of this pregnancy, and it is pain the doctor's assure me will be relieved with birth. I look very much forward to that relief! I tell myself that I was made to do this, that I can and will do this, and that I can get through 24ish hours of anything!!! I do have many questions about induction though, and some of them have anxiety attached to them. For example, I wonder what would happen if I were to go with the plan to be induced early. Would I then progress slowly, or perhaps I progress too quickly for my body to handle? Would I then have more pain than is natural and in turn want pain relief? For these reasons I want to avoid induction for as long as it remains safe for me and the baby to do so.

Questions/comments/other? My desire to go med-free is two-fold. One is that I really believe that my body is capable of and truly made to birth this baby and I want to be able to allow it to do its thang and not be restricted from movement/positioning because I'm medicated. The second is a prexisting medical condition for which an epidural could be potentially harmful. My MFM scheduled me for an anesthesiology consult for the "just in case" scenarios, because as much as I believe in myself and my baby and our ability to do this, we really don't want me to be in the middle of it all, have an epidural become a possibility, and have me frantically talking about how they might dislocate my hips without my knowledge to be the first conversation I have with the anesthesiologist!

[wifedeangel]

Weeks / FTM etc / planned birthing location: 35 weeks, 2nd time mom, a "birth center", that's really just an extension of the hospital.

How "med free" are you planning to go? Assuming all goes smoothly, entirely med free. The narcotics just make me woozy, but don't touch the pain.

Biggest fear at this point? As I've mentioned in other threads, I'm mostly afraid of not making it to the hospital. And that my hubris of doing this once previously will be my undoing, I need to stay focused!

What was the most painful part? For me the question isn't about what's the most painful part, but what's the hardest to deal with. And that would be transition. Not only is your body making the final preparations to push, but your mind is too. And that can leave you feeling vulnerable and weak, right when you want to feel strongest. So if you can keep your mantras/coping skills going, and have someone to rely on emotionally, you can make it through. Getting permission to push is a huge relief, and the ring of fire is a relatively short (but very sharp) pain.

[theBeeMama]

33 weeks, STM and giving birth with midwives and a doula at a hospital birthing center (same as last time).

I am planning on totally med free. With DS I made it all the way to 8.8 cms dilated and then hit transition but I didn't know I was at transition and the feeling freaked me out so bad that I started begging for an epi, which I got JUST in time to push. It ended up slowing the process down (which is exactly why I didn't want it) and DS got a little stuck for about 40 minutes. I feel confident that if I hadn't given in and gotten the epidural I would have had DS way quicker and he wouldn't have had a hematoma bump for six weeks. However, I don't regret it completely because I had a second degree tear that they stitched up wrong and then had to re-do. So I was grateful to not have to feel all that for the solid hour after birth.

I guess my biggest fear at this point is knowing how hard it was without the epidural and then how comfortable I was with it, so I'm afraid I'll give into the temptation again, since I am at a hospital and its readily available. Also, I'm afraid of that last portion which I didn't feel last time due to drugs... I've heard that it's the easiest part, but I'm skeptical. The part where the human is actually being forced from your lady parts is the EASY part? Not that 15 hours of contractions wasn't super difficult but I just can't imagine pushing being anything less than horrifically painful and traumatic.

Lord help us all. Lol.

[noeliav]

Weeks / FTM etc / planned birthing location:
36w2d / STM / birth center

How "med free" are you planning to go?
I am all in. Medication to manage pain is not an option for me. (assuming a vaginal delivery, of course)

Biggest fear at this point?
I don't really have one related to labor, honestly. It'll come, and it will be whatever it is, and in the end, we'll get to meet our son. I am a little worried that I'll start to labor at work, since with DD, I went from nothing to insta-labor, so I have in my head that if I feel at all "off" then I'm working from home.

Questions/comments/other?
carolyngrace
Transition sucked, but I didn't know I was "in it" really. It just felt a bit more intense but way longer than previous contractions. It's the only time in labor/delivery where I actually said "I can't." In retrospect I think what I really meant was "I'm tired and I'd like a break, please" and not "I'm done" so to speak. But, almost immediately after that, my body pushed.
Pushing for me was the "hardest" part of it all. I think I just didn't know what to expect. So many of those Ina May stories are all "I loved pushing!" and "pushing was the best!" and for me it was decidedly not. Pushing is hard work. I was more or less passive during contractions, but pushing required me to actually participate, lol, and I was tired. It was 3am. I wanted a nap.

[noeliav]

periwinkledaydreams, @jimbobcooter
Look at my fellow zen mamas, lol!
I'm a little freaked out that I'm not more freaked out, but otherwise it's all peace and calm over here.

[Deleted]

May 11, 2015 12:39:20 GMT -5 noeliav said:

periwinkledaydreams, @jimbobcooter
Look at my fellow zen mamas, lol!
I'm a little freaked out that I'm not more freaked out, but otherwise it's all peace and calm over here.

This has crossed my mind too.  "Hi, my birth plan is to not think about and therefore it will be easy."  BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[teenybird]

34+5 FTM planning to have baby in a hospital with midwives who are very pro-med free birth.

I'm really hoping to go completely med free if possible. Narcotics make me feel barfy and stoned, and I really don't want that while in trying to bring a baby into the world haha. I know I'll probably puke anyway during labor, but hopefully without meds it won't be all Linda Blair in the Exorcist. Since my concern about pain is mostly about the pushing/tearing and not contractions, and I learned that epidurals don't always work to numb the saddle area, the idea of a spinal puncture seems less and less appealing to me.

My fear is not being able to handle the pain, begging for an epi, and then needing an emergency c-section anyway. Trying to visualize positives and keep a mantra to work through the pain instead of avoiding it. I think I'm also in the not-thinking-about-it-too-much camp. I'm very focused on being in the moment and seeing what I need as things progress, but I also want to minimize exposure to non-crucial meds (both mine and baby's).

Was anyone who went med free with a first bub actually able to feel themselves tear? I've been on pelvic rest for months, and am totally worried about this. Perineal massage is great and all, but I'm worried about actually feeling that in addition to every other discomfort that comes with labor haha...

[noeliav]

teenybird
I had a labial tear with DD and didn't feel it happen at all.

[mrsh2010]

Weeks / FTM etc / planned birthing location: 37 tomorrow, FTM, hospital

How "med free" are you planning to go? Up until recently I wasn't sure, I just knew I wanted to try to go without the epi, but I have decided I would like to try to go completely med free.

Biggest fear at this point? Last week I started showing signs of Preeclampsia and now they have me doing NSTs twice weekly. I am worried about how that is going to affect my plans. I was hoping to not be hooked up to IVs and monitors so that I could change positions, use the shower or tub, etc. to help move labor along and get some natural pain relief and I'm not sure if they will let me do that or if they will want me hooked up. I don't think I will be able to go med free if all I can do is sit in bed and take the pain. I will be discussing this with my OB this week.

Questions/comments/other?

[dogmama22]

35+3 FTM hospital "birth center"
Planning to go completely med free
I'm not too worried about giving in or feeling like I can't do it. My biggest fear is just needing a c-section - I'll be pretty disappointed if that happens.
No questions/ comments today.

[periwinkledaydreams]

May 11, 2015 10:39:08 GMT -5 pbubblegum said:

*SNIP*

Questions/comments/other? I bought the Hypnobabies course and we are taking a Mongan course. I'm too distracted and fidgety to get into the breathing exercises.

I'm also using Mongan Method Hypnobirthing as one of my tools, on my own not taking a course or anything.  I have the book and CD and found the Rainbow Relaxation guided meditation online.  I also find that I'm really fidgety during the exercises, I've always been a really fidgety person.  I'm the person who shook my leg and doodled on my notebooks all the way through school, that's something that helps me concentrate.  At first I was frustrated that I couldn't relax but I decided to look at it as, if Im fidgety but focused I will count that as relaxing.  As soon as I let myself get away with that, I started actually relaxing into the exercises.  I don't know if that makes sense or is helpful at all in any way!  

I am also really interested to know what an organised hypnobirthing class is like!  I have a hard time imagining being able to relax fully in a room surrounded by other people, but at the same time feel like it would be so helpful to have someone to ask all my questions to!

[jcprn]

Weeks / FTM etc / planned birthing location: 36w, FTM, hospital

How "med free" are you planning to go? As med free as I can. No epidural or meds of any kind.

Biggest fear at this point? That I will need to be induced/ get a C section/ that something is going to happen to Baby during the birth or immediately after.

Questions/comments/other? I'm hoping hypnobirthing gets me through it because when I practice I always end up falling asleep so I don't know if I'm actually getting hypnotized or just falling asleep.

noeliav, the L&D nurse at the hospital said she often doesn't call the doctor until the mom says "I can't do it" etc towards the end because THAT means she's ready lol.

[Deleted]

So never mind the stupidity of not knowing you were pregnant in the first place, but after pondering on this story all day, I have to wonder if these situations are an example of fear/anxiety = more pain during birth vs. not focusing on the process and having no fear = easier labor, that we should think about. I mean these women who don't know they are about to go into labor and aren't thinking about it seem to just pop them out all of a sudden, SURPRISE!, as if it's nothing. There is never a story of them having 30 painful hours of contractions. It's always a last minute realization and then within an hour, BAM!, baby. Maybe I'm reaching here because I'm currently in the middle of reading Childbirth Without Fear. Thoughts?

mashable.com/2015/05/12/surprise-in-flight-birth/

[carolyngrace]

May 12, 2015 17:59:03 GMT -5 @jimbobcooter said:

So never mind the stupidity of not knowing you were pregnant in the first place, but after pondering on this story all day, I have to wonder if these situations are an example of fear/anxiety = more pain during birth vs. not focusing on the process and having no fear = easier labor, that we should think about. I mean these women who don't know they are about to go into labor and aren't thinking about it seem to just pop them out all of a sudden, SURPRISE!, as if it's nothing. There is never a story of them having 30 painful hours of contractions. It's always a last minute realization and then within an hour, BAM!, baby. Maybe I'm reaching here because I'm currently in the middle of reading Childbirth Without Fear. Thoughts?

mashable.com/2015/05/12/surprise-in-flight-birth/

Seriously. Not knowing you're pregnant is hard enough to believe. But - "She told me, 'Something fell out of me,'" - REALLY?! I agree it's hard to fathom BOTH not knowing AND having the most quick and painless birth ever! 

[Deleted]

May 12, 2015 21:17:11 GMT -5 carolyngrace said:

May 12, 2015 17:59:03 GMT -5 @jimbobcooter said:

So never mind the stupidity of not knowing you were pregnant in the first place, but after pondering on this story all day, I have to wonder if these situations are an example of fear/anxiety = more pain during birth vs. not focusing on the process and having no fear = easier labor, that we should think about. I mean these women who don't know they are about to go into labor and aren't thinking about it seem to just pop them out all of a sudden, SURPRISE!, as if it's nothing. There is never a story of them having 30 painful hours of contractions. It's always a last minute realization and then within an hour, BAM!, baby. Maybe I'm reaching here because I'm currently in the middle of reading Childbirth Without Fear. Thoughts?

mashable.com/2015/05/12/surprise-in-flight-birth/

Seriously. Not knowing you're pregnant is hard enough to believe. But - "She told me, 'Something fell out of me,'" - REALLY?! I agree it's hard to fathom BOTH not knowing AND having the most quick and painless birth ever! 

But is it the not knowing and thus not anticipating/being afraid part of what makes it quick and painless?

[missjenniebean]

May 12, 2015 21:25:51 GMT -5 @jimbobcooter said:

May 12, 2015 21:17:11 GMT -5 carolyngrace said:

Seriously. Not knowing you're pregnant is hard enough to believe. But - "She told me, 'Something fell out of me,'" - REALLY?! I agree it's hard to fathom BOTH not knowing AND having the most quick and painless birth ever! 

But is it the not knowing and thus not anticipating/being afraid part of what makes it quick and painless?

I wouldn't be surprised. We've had how long to scare ourselves and think about how much it'll hurt vs just being like ouch what was that?

[noeliav]

May 12, 2015 17:59:03 GMT -5 @jimbobcooter said:

So never mind the stupidity of not knowing you were pregnant in the first place, but after pondering on this story all day, I have to wonder if these situations are an example of fear/anxiety = more pain during birth vs. not focusing on the process and having no fear = easier labor, that we should think about. I mean these women who don't know they are about to go into labor and aren't thinking about it seem to just pop them out all of a sudden, SURPRISE!, as if it's nothing. There is never a story of them having 30 painful hours of contractions. It's always a last minute realization and then within an hour, BAM!, baby. Maybe I'm reaching here because I'm currently in the middle of reading Childbirth Without Fear. Thoughts?

mashable.com/2015/05/12/surprise-in-flight-birth/

How is Childbirth Without Fear?

[Deleted]

May 13, 2015 2:19:51 GMT -5 noeliav said:

May 12, 2015 17:59:03 GMT -5 @jimbobcooter said:

So never mind the stupidity of not knowing you were pregnant in the first place, but after pondering on this story all day, I have to wonder if these situations are an example of fear/anxiety = more pain during birth vs. not focusing on the process and having no fear = easier labor, that we should think about. I mean these women who don't know they are about to go into labor and aren't thinking about it seem to just pop them ĺout all of a sudden, SURPRISE!, as if it's nothing. There is never a story of them having 30 painful hours of contractions. It's always a last minute realization and then within an hour, BAM!, baby. Maybe I'm reaching here because I'm currently in the middle of reading Childbirth Without Fear. Thoughts?

mashable.com/2015/05/12/surprise-in-flight-birth/

How is Childbirth Without Fear?

Very wordy and scientific. I'm having to force myself to plow through it. Bu it's good information.

[noeliav]

@jimbobcooter
How does it compare to The Birth Partner? (if at all)

I think I'll give a look to amazon...

[Deleted]

May 13, 2015 10:04:34 GMT -5 noeliav said:

@jimbobcooter
How does it compare to The Birth Partner? (if at all)

I think I'll give a look to amazon...

I haven't read that one.

[jcprn]

@jimbobcooter I feel like if my body were going through labor without me knowing I was pregnant or what my body was doing I would be TERRIFIED. Like WTF is wrong with my body and what is it doing right now.