Big daycare problem

[bantyrooster]

Hugs momma! It will all work out for he best. Fwiw if Tyler pushed Gage and he fell and broke his arm I would still love him. I guess I am the kids will be kids mom. If he was a bully and always hurt kids that is different but he is not. I hope the director gets to the bottom of this. I am surprised she doesn't already know of the situation. You think if a kid broke a bone in your center you would already know the story. That's a red flag for me. Or did she mean just get the story of why the teacher/mom accused him?

[bliz1712]

origamimommy, good luck tonight. I've been busy, but I agree with bringing it up to the director. I bet you'll get some good news after the meeting and you won't have to change. Be strong and stand your ground though!!

[origamimommy]

Thanks guys! I am feeling a little bit better now. Ideally, I would not like to move him. I am hoping this can all be cleared up, but if she is going to be the teacher, I am going to have to.

The upside? Both other daycares have incredible reviews and are cheaper than what we pay now!

[sarasansh]

origamimommy Good luck! I hope everything gets works out. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Even though none of the information seems to add up, there is no one credible in this situation that is placing the blame on Tyler or looking at him like the "bad kid" in the situation. Like, why was the other kid even on the table in the first place?

[gk12]

I've been thinking about the situation and I have the same question as sarasansh. What were the teachers doing when the boy was climbing on the table?

[mommymadness]

Good luck with the meeting! Let us know how it goes!

[aimeefarrahfowler]

Good luck tonight!

[julymommy]

Good luck!

[origamimommy]

So I'm not sure. We talked, the director said that max is saying Tyler pushed him. The director also said that Tyler's teachers think max is blaming Tyler because his mom came running over accusing Tyler and max didn't want to get in trouble for jumping. Max's mom fully believes that Tyler did it. The director spoke with her but isn't removing her from the classroom. The director said Max's mom overreacted and understands and she has faith that Max's mom will be good to Tyler. I'm not so sure.

[traceyt07]

Boo. I was really hoping there'd be an apology & the offending mommy/teacher would be removed from Tyler's room. I think you did the right thing by talking to the director first, but I'd be looking for somewhere new.

[trixi282]

That sucks. Of course this kid is now saying Tyler pushed him, his mom has convinced him it happened! I'm torn as to what you should do - but I would lean towards leaving the center if he would have to be in her classroom. I wish the director could see how uncomfortable this would make a parent in your situation.

The teacher/mom did overreact, a lot, and it's unnecessary. I feel like she should still apologize to you and Tyler for blowing this entire thing out of proportion. Children have accidents and she should know that... I am still upset for you that she is blaming Tyler.

Do you have an intentions of having a sit down with the director and the teacher/mom to discuss it, all together? Maybe you need to just have that conversation and let her know face to face (whether she apologizes or not) that you're hurt my HER actions (since it is obvious no one really knows what happened) and you were not informed of the incident right away and wish you would have been so this all could have been avoided.

What a shitty situation.

[origamimommy]

traceyt07 they did apologize profusely. But they also think she can be subjective because she's one of the best teachers and the kids love her.

Nope.

[paddyb]

Did you guys talk at all about her changing rooms when Tyler moves up?

[lainikins]

So are they planning on having her teach her own child too? That alone brings all kinds of problems. Add into that her completely false believe that Tyler hurt her kid and that she lets her Momma bear show so easily, I do not think that would be a good environment for Tyler. If they are not doing anything about then I think you should go to one of the other centers.

[origamimommy]

paddyb, we did but they are not moving her.

lainikins, her own son will be going to a different room, but they wouldn't let Tyler go to that room. When I asked about what they were doing with her son, the director said she wouldn't be teaching her own son, but that Tyler would have to follow the cadence of moving into the preschool room with her. I called out how uncomfortable that made me, and that she should expect that I wouldn't want someone who acted that way to be caring for my child all day long, every day. She said, "I can assure you that she doesn't behave that way." and I said, "Well she already did, so what proof do I have that she wouldn't do it again?" and she just had anecdotal information for me. That this woman connects really well with the kids, that she is so nice, blah blah blah.

But here's the thing. If she would've run up when she saw her son fall and ask Tyler if he pushed him, I wouldn't be mad. The problem is that two days later, she got in his face saying, "Look what you did Tyler. You broke his arm." That is fucking inappropriate. Additionally, both Tyler's and Max's teachers (since they're in the same class) said Tyler had nothing to do with it, and I didn't even get an incident report. The director reiterated that while Max's mom does understand that she overreacted and needs to have her teacher hat on at the school, that she still fully believes that Tyler pushed her son. If three adults and multiple kids say he didn't do it, then maybe it's time to realize your kid is lying because he's afraid of being in trouble, and because you made it really easy for him to have an out by accusing him immediately.

So my plan is to leave him for now, but look at other daycares. I have tours with two in the area that both have openings for the Fall. I would need an opening by August. If they decide to move her to a different room so her son can go to preschool, I will leave him there. If they don't, we are gone. I want to keep things as consistent as possible for Tyler, but no way in fucking hell will she ever be in charge of caring for my child.

[paddyb]

Wtf. If she is such a beloved teacher, surely the parents of a kid that is scheduled to go to the other class would jump at the chance to change to her room... I find it incredibly odd that they are not hearing your concerns and agreeing to put Tyler in the other class. Also, this makes me incredibly happy there are cameras all over every room o our daycare. Something like this would be very easy to clear up because there would be video

[origamimommy]

There are cameras everywhere, but they were outside at the time and the angle of the video you can't see Tyler when max fell.

I'm shocked that they're not doing anything. I did tell the director that if she was in the preschool room, Tyler wouldn't be.

[xanthepants]

Well I'm just bummed for you. It really doesn't sound like a good resolution for you. I wouldn't want my kid in her class either so I agree with your plan. At least they apologized. It does seem like the kid is probably lying based on his mom feeding him the story to avoid trouble if there is no one to back him as well after all this. I'd go ahead with your tours. It sounds like you might have some other good options out there as well.

[somethingcleverer]

So there are two preschool classes and they are choosing to still send Tyler to her class? Why cant they put him in the other one? I'm guessing the teacher already requested Tyler not be in the same class as her son because why else would they refuse to switch his room? The whole thing seems somewhat off and that teacher at the very least owes Tyler an apology. I'm sorry the director wasn't more helpful, but maybe you will find a better situation for him in the fall.

[origamimommy]

Ok I think it's confusing. There aren't two preschool classes, there's only one. They're putting her son either in pre k or keeping him where he is I guess. Director said they're still working that out. I'm hoping they choose to move her instead of putting her son in a non preschool room but I'm accepting the fact that we're probably switching daycares. Just sucks.

[somethingcleverer]

I'm sorry origamimommy, big hugs.

[roo1582]

origamimommy - I'm so sorry the director/center doesn't seem to be wanting to work with you. With the whole incident, I also wouldn't want that woman to be working with my child all day, every day. I hope your tours this week go well. From your earlier posts, it sounds like they might be really good options based on reviews and price. Either way, I'm so sorry you and Tyler are going through this

[sarasansh]

Ugh, what a sucky situation. It sounds to me like the director just doesn't want to deal with all of this and is just kind of hoping everyone will forget and it will all blow over.

Like you, I wouldn't believe any anecdotal evidence the director is giving about this other teacher. As a mom, did she overreact in a situation about her child? Yes, absolutely. But as a teacher? She crossed clear professional boundaries. Even if it wasn't her child that was involved, I would be deeply uncomfortable with a teacher that feels it's appropriate to get into a 2.5 year old child's face the way she did. That's just not good teaching practice, and I would not want her teaching my child.

[starfishy]

I wouldn't be satisfied with that meeting either. Seems she blew you off to defend her teacher. I'm sorry you have to deal with this, but I wouldn't want Tyler in her class.

[summergirl1211]

May 13, 2015 6:58:10 GMT -5 sarasansh said:

Ugh, what a sucky situation. It sounds to me like the director just doesn't want to deal with all of this and is just kind of hoping everyone will forget and it will all blow over.

Like you, I wouldn't believe any anecdotal evidence the director is giving about this other teacher. As a mom, did she overreact in a situation about her child? Yes, absolutely. But as a teacher? She crossed clear professional boundaries. Even if it wasn't her child that was involved, I would be deeply uncomfortable with a teacher that feels it's appropriate to get into a 2.5 year old child's face the way she did. That's just not good teaching practice, and I would not want her teaching my child.

Yeah, all of this. I'm disappointed in the director for not pursuing this further. I don't blame you one bit for looking elsewhere!

[origamimommy]

I'm almost positive the director took disciplinary action on the teacher but not 100-% sure. Regardless, as sarasansh said, she crossed a professional boundary. Not once, but twice. That's too much. And it sucks but that's being a parent. Making sucky decisions from shitty circumstances to do what's eat for our kids.

[bliz1712]

origamimommy, the whole situation sucks and I'm sorry you've had to endure it. I'm happy to hear however, that disciplinary action was taken. And really, so what if he did jump?? Boys will be boys, right. It just happened that this jump caused a broken bone.

So have you decided if you are staying there or not?

[mrsplaydoh]

Such a crappy situation origamimommy I would be so stressed out too. I hope you can figure out the best thing to do for Tywwwer even if it is moving him. He's so young, he'll make new friends so fast if you do move him. And I think you said the others got great reviews and were cheaper...?? That sounds pretty good coupled with peace of mind.

[origamimommy]

bliz1712 I'm pretty sure I'm moving him. The more I think about it the more I'm pissed as shit that they didn't do more. I also asked Tyler today if Max's mommy was nice to him and he said, "No her mean to me." When I asked what she did he said, "I don't want to talk please. I talk about it later." I'm not okay with that response and when we get back I'm finding a new place for him.

[gk12]

origamimommy
I'm pissed off for you. I hope you can get him into one of the other places when you get back. Hugs!