WTF Parents and sister. why do you feel the need to yell at me multiple times before 7:30 this morning?? We both forgot something I said I had it in my car and would give it to you on Saturday. I don't know how many more times I need to say it is in my car before you get it. You are the person who wants it, so you need to remember to ask for it. But don't hang up the phone on me when you say I need it and for the 4th time I say it is in my car just ask me for it when I see you.
ALSO WTF Sleep, I went to bed at 10:30 last night, why am I more tired this morning then usual when I go to bed at 11??
WTF Mom, why do we need to clean an already clean house to have the cleaning ladies come? Seriously you pay them $100+ to "clean" 2 bathrooms that are already clean and sweep and lightly dust. But yet you can't see that having a yard service for less than $200 a month actually makes sense rather than SD mowing twice each week because that's "unnecessary"!
Post by purpledaisy923 on May 13, 2015 7:19:18 GMT -5
WTF MIL?! She is under the impression that immediately after the twins are born, the nurses will bring the babies out for her and FIL to hold while I'm getting stitched up from the c-section. Ummm, hell no!! The hospital's policy is for the parents to have skin-to-skin contact with the babies as soon as possible after birth for at least 2 hours. That means that MIL won't get to see the twins for at least 2 hours after birth. We want to bond with OUR children before anyone else!! Why is that such a hard concept to understand?!? Did you struggle through infertility treatments for years to get these babies here?!? NO! So back off and let us have our time with them!
Also, MIL is paranoid that this "2 hour delay" is just a way for me to make sure my parents see the twins before she does. This isn't a competition! You will see them when you get to see them! Does anyone want to trade MIL's? lol
WTF MIL?! She is under the impression that immediately after the twins are born, the nurse will bring the babies our for her and FIL to hold while I'm getting stitched up from the c-section. Ummm, hell no!! The hospital's policy is for the parents to have skin-to-skin contact with the babies as soon as possible after birth for at least 2 hours. That means that MIL won't get to see the twins for at least 2 hours after birth. We want to bond with OUR children before anyone else!! Why is that such a hard concept to understand?!? Did you struggle through infertility treatments for years to get these babies here?!? NO! So back off and let us have our time with them!
Also, MIL is paranoid that this "2 hour delay" is just a way for me to make sure my parents see the twins before she does. This isn't a competition! You will see them when you get to see them! Does anyone want to trade MIL's? lol
My MIL doesn't understand this stuff either. I wish she would read a book or something because I know I am going to end up listening to her run her stupid mouth about things. Plus, the way she loves to interject dumb questions to be involved, she is going to ask the nurses everything I've already told her.
My dad is also clueless (which is understandable, things are SO different now than when we were born) but he at least listens when I tell him things.
WTF MIL?! She is under the impression that immediately after the twins are born, the nurse will bring the babies our for her and FIL to hold while I'm getting stitched up from the c-section. Ummm, hell no!! The hospital's policy is for the parents to have skin-to-skin contact with the babies as soon as possible after birth for at least 2 hours. That means that MIL won't get to see the twins for at least 2 hours after birth. We want to bond with OUR children before anyone else!! Why is that such a hard concept to understand?!? Did you struggle through infertility treatments for years to get these babies here?!? NO! So back off and let us have our time with them!
Also, MIL is paranoid that this "2 hour delay" is just a way for me to make sure my parents see the twins before she does. This isn't a competition! You will see them when you get to see them! Does anyone want to trade MIL's? lol
My mom said something to me that has stuck ever sine we told them we were pregnant.... Yes this is a first baby for both me and DH, but I am the one pushing the baby out of my Vagina, or being cut open. I get the right to say who gets to come in the back first... Sorry but its going to be my parents not my inlaws. My husband knows that I get the final say as to who gets to come back first. Just tell your MIL even if the hospital didnt have the 2 hour policy, that as the woman who in your case just had SURGERY, gets the final say as to who gets to come in the back first. I am assuming that your hospital has a max amount of people that can be in the post delivery rooms at a time. (mine is 4 plus dad.)
WTF MIL?! She is under the impression that immediately after the twins are born, the nurse will bring the babies our for her and FIL to hold while I'm getting stitched up from the c-section. Ummm, hell no!! The hospital's policy is for the parents to have skin-to-skin contact with the babies as soon as possible after birth for at least 2 hours. That means that MIL won't get to see the twins for at least 2 hours after birth. We want to bond with OUR children before anyone else!! Why is that such a hard concept to understand?!? Did you struggle through infertility treatments for years to get these babies here?!? NO! So back off and let us have our time with them!
Also, MIL is paranoid that this "2 hour delay" is just a way for me to make sure my parents see the twins before she does. This isn't a competition! You will see them when you get to see them! Does anyone want to trade MIL's? lol
Sure! I could write a novel on my MIL lol! Seriously though why can't people understand our pregnancy and childbirth isn't about them?
WTF MIL?! She is under the impression that immediately after the twins are born, the nurses will bring the babies out for her and FIL to hold while I'm getting stitched up from the c-section. Ummm, hell no!! The hospital's policy is for the parents to have skin-to-skin contact with the babies as soon as possible after birth for at least 2 hours. That means that MIL won't get to see the twins for at least 2 hours after birth. We want to bond with OUR children before anyone else!! Why is that such a hard concept to understand?!? Did you struggle through infertility treatments for years to get these babies here?!? NO! So back off and let us have our time with them!
Also, MIL is paranoid that this "2 hour delay" is just a way for me to make sure my parents see the twins before she does. This isn't a competition! You will see them when you get to see them! Does anyone want to trade MIL's? lol
Yikes, I'm sorry you're dealing with this! With DD we had a waiting room full of family, yet we did skin to skin for a long time after she was born and before letting anyone in. I am always worried about offending family and hurting their feelings, but IMO, this is one of those times that you should not have to worry about their feelings. YOU are the one who just gave birth, and they can wait until you're ready to be bombarded with visitors who want to hold your babies.
Eta: I'm sure you know this, but the nurses will gladly be the "bad guys" and inform your MIL of the hospital policy.
WTF MIL?! She is under the impression that immediately after the twins are born, the nurses will bring the babies out for her and FIL to hold while I'm getting stitched up from the c-section. Ummm, hell no!! The hospital's policy is for the parents to have skin-to-skin contact with the babies as soon as possible after birth for at least 2 hours. That means that MIL won't get to see the twins for at least 2 hours after birth. We want to bond with OUR children before anyone else!! Why is that such a hard concept to understand?!? Did you struggle through infertility treatments for years to get these babies here?!? NO! So back off and let us have our time with them!
Also, MIL is paranoid that this "2 hour delay" is just a way for me to make sure my parents see the twins before she does. This isn't a competition! You will see them when you get to see them! Does anyone want to trade MIL's? lol
Im pretty sure my MIL was hoping for the same thing this time around as I'm scheduled for a repeat. Last time (at a different hospital), I went to recovery alone while DH and DD went back to my room where my in laws were waiting. They got to hold her before I was even released. I hadn't even had a chance to hold her and they got to hold her before me. I think MIL is hoping for the same opportunity. This time though, baby comes with me to recovery (unless something is wrong with either of us) and we get skin to skin for an hour or two while we wait for our room. I've told her that this and she seemed disappointed. Only one person is allowed in the recovery room and that's DH. maybe tell your MIL that hospital policy only allows your support person in the recovery room where you and the babies will have time to bond. Totally lay it on the hospital policy. She can't argue that.
WTF MIL?! She is under the impression that immediately after the twins are born, the nurses will bring the babies out for her and FIL to hold while I'm getting stitched up from the c-section. Ummm, hell no!! The hospital's policy is for the parents to have skin-to-skin contact with the babies as soon as possible after birth for at least 2 hours. That means that MIL won't get to see the twins for at least 2 hours after birth. We want to bond with OUR children before anyone else!! Why is that such a hard concept to understand?!? Did you struggle through infertility treatments for years to get these babies here?!? NO! So back off and let us have our time with them!
Also, MIL is paranoid that this "2 hour delay" is just a way for me to make sure my parents see the twins before she does. This isn't a competition! You will see them when you get to see them! Does anyone want to trade MIL's? lol
Yikes, I'm sorry you're dealing with this! With DD we had a waiting room full of family, yet we did skin to skin for a long time after she was born and before letting anyone in. I am always worried about offending family and hurting their feelings, but IMO, this is one of those times that you should not have to worry about their feelings. YOU are the one who just gave birth, and they can wait until you're ready to be bombarded with visitors who want to hold your babies.
Eta: I'm sure you know this, but the nurses will gladly be the "bad guys" and inform your MIL of the hospital policy.
Nurses will be MORE THEN happy to be the bad guys!! My MIL THINKS she is a Doctor. So I am going to make it know that anytime anyone other then DH is in the room if she needs to come in even if its just to check on me. EVERYONE needs to get out because she needs to talk to me alone. IM not playing any games. They will be more then happy to be the bad guys for you!
Post by purpledaisy923 on May 13, 2015 8:16:24 GMT -5
Thanks everyone for all the support! It's good to know that I'm not being unreasonable in this situation.
nettje, You went to recovery alone? I would have been mad about that one. DH and the twins will be with me in the recovery room. As far as I know, that's where we get to spend our 2 hours with the babies. No one will be allowed to come in and see us while I'm in recovery. When they move us to the room we will actually stay in for the next few days is when people can start to come in and meet the babies.
Post by sidneyvicious on May 13, 2015 8:27:49 GMT -5
We just broke it to everyone that they are not to come to the hospital until we call and say we are ready for visitors. My husband told them the hospital stresses eight hours of bonding time - a bit of a exaggeration, but it did the trick! They may be talking behind our backs, but they were cool with it to our faces
Post by sugarbean17 on May 13, 2015 8:41:34 GMT -5
My WTF...MIL we have been talking to her about her plans to come visit for 9 months now. Plans should be somewhat made by now. Like, what week are you arriving? (A week before EDD, a week after, at all?) How long are you staying? (Anywhere between one week or three months is not a good enough answer) Where are you staying? At this point she says she will let us know in a couple of weeks when she has a better idea of her plans... ugh. She stresses me out in every way.
Also WTF #2 each night from 1:30-3:30 I have contractions about 10-15min apart that I can't sleep through so I'm up trying to figure out precisely when to go in. I'm only 36 weeks so I don't want to go in to L&D and get sent home plus in one week if I go into labor I can be at the birth center like we have planned but they won't take you until 37 weeks.
Yeah... That was the policy for that specific hospital. I'm not sure why but they didn't encourage skin to skin right after a c-section birth like they do vaginal births. Or maybe I didn't know enough to advocate for myself. I wish I would have though. It grates on me that someone else (other than my husband or the hospital staff) got to hold her before I got to. It's a sore point for me. This time it won't happen.
Yeah... That was the policy for that specific hospital. I'm not sure why but they didn't encourage skin to skin right after a c-section birth like they do vaginal births. Or maybe I didn't know enough to advocate for myself. I wish I would have though. It grates on me that someone else (other than my husband or the hospital staff) got to hold her before I got to. It's a sore point for me. This time it won't happen.
^^^^ THIS^^^^ I had a nightmare about this happening. I talked to DH At dinner the next night and told him that NO ONE besides him is allowed to hold the baby before I do. I am extremely anemic so there is a chance I am going to need a transfusion and if for whatever reason I can not hold the baby and have skin to skin right away, he knows that NO ONE is allowed to see the baby before I have had an hour of Skin to Skin with her. If that means that our families are sitting in the waiting room for 5 hours after I deliver so be it. The only emergency contact that I have listed is DH so no one will be allowed to get any information either from the hospital. Make sure your hospital knows this!!
I would have been super angry if DH let someone else hold my child before me.
I am now but that was 3 years ago. I'm sure if I hadn't been so exhausted after the whole ordeal, I may have said something then but now it's not worth it. We've told the in laws (and my parents as well) that we'd contact them when we were moving to our room and that they can visit then.
I would have been super angry if DH let someone else hold my child before me.
I am now but that was 3 years ago. I'm sure if I hadn't been so exhausted after the whole ordeal, I may have said something then but now it's not worth it. We've told the in laws (and my parents as well) that we'd contact them when we were moving to our room and that they can visit then.
I just mean I think your feelings are totally valid and you have every single right to feel as you do and your MIL should realize that was not a reasonable thing to assume she has any right to do. My mom was in the delivery room and waited over an hour to hold her so we had time.
WTF constipation. Seriously, it's been diarrhea for a month, and then yesterday and today (when I have an appointment and need to get weighed) it's all backed up.
nettje I can't believe that the hospital would even let your ILs hold the baby before you guys. My mind can't comprehend it. I feel like they don't have the authority to hand off my baby to other people, I'm the one who will be giving people permission to hold her!
I'm not even sure what my ILs expectations are for coming to the hospital, but I don't want anyone even at the hospital (besides my H, mom, and sister who will be in delivery with me) until after the baby is born. H can call my ILs and I'll have my sister call my dad to tell them baby is born and they can head over.
nettje I can't believe that the hospital would even let your ILs hold the baby before you guys. My mind can't comprehend it. I feel like they don't have the authority to hand off my baby to other people, I'm the one who will be giving people permission to hold her!
I'm not even sure what my ILs expectations are for coming to the hospital, but I don't want anyone even at the hospital (besides my H, mom, and sister who will be in delivery with me) until after the baby is born. H can call my ILs and I'll have my sister call my dad to tell them baby is born and they can head over.
belle0720 it wasn't the hospital... It was most likely DH succumbing to the nagging of his mother that would lead to her holding DD before I got to. It's too bad the policy at that hospital wasn't to have mommy and baby in recovery together. It wasn't a complicated delivery; she could have been there with me but it was policy to send her with DH back to my room where my in laws were waiting.
nettje Ahh I misread your OP. Still crappy hospital policy though. And I would have been furious with my H if he let someone else hold the baby before me!
Post by mrskblack11 on May 13, 2015 11:02:17 GMT -5
I have already told my parents and the ILs that I will be doing an hour of skin to skin contact and trying to breast feed immediately. My hospital is big on skin to skin. They do all the vitals in the labor room so baby never leaves my side unless I specifically request that they take him to the nursery. I will have no visitors until I am moved to my postpartum room. If they want to camp out in the waiting room, fine by me.
^^^^this is what my family (and DHs) knows as well. We'll tell them when they can come in and it will be after the first feeding and some skin to skin. There will be no repeat of last delivery.
Post by mrsmonogrammed on May 13, 2015 11:10:15 GMT -5
WTF to DH's aunt who just got a job as a NICU nurse in the hospital I will deliver at- she came up to me at my shower on Saturday and said "you know they have a NICU nurse at all the births, so I'll be sure to be in the delivery room!".
Uuuuuummmmmm, NO. HELL NO.
You will not be invited into my room and I will be SURE to tell my dr and nurses this. You are not related to me, lady!! And how pushy...thinking that I want you anywhere near me while labor? Fuck right off.
This is literally the only thing stressing me out about labor!!
mrsmonogrammed wouldn't she be assigned duties elsewhere? I mean, if you just got the job, you probably can't make demands where you want to work. You go to where you're told to go.
She sounds pretty speshul. I hope your doc and nurses back you.
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