Normal amount of separation anxiety

[jnnfrrose6]

I think the answer to this is going to depend on what exactly you are crying and worrying over. Obviously the basis of it is going back to work, but what about that is getting you upset? Can you pinpoint what is getting you anxious and try to address that specifically?

Also, have you ever spent time away from LO? If not, try easing yourself into it. See if whoever will be watching your LO while you're at work will do transition days before hand. This is good for you and the baby, as it's something new for each of you. Our DC recommends dropping the baby off for a couple of hours a few days leading up to full time so you can work out any kinks and both be more comfortable with it.

[kelpsu]

I've been back to work since DS was 4 months old and I still miss him something terrible when I'm slow at work. Have you had any significant time (> 4 hours) away from LO? Maybe if you could do a few little stints away from baby before you go full time that would help? Regardless though it's hard and I don't think there is a "right" amount of separation anxiety because everyone is different. I think about all of the good things that time away from me does for my LO and that helps. e.g. Socializing with other babies/adults, learning self-reliance, experiencing new things, becoming adaptable, etc.
The first pick-up will be wonderful!

[jnnfrrose6]

May 18, 2015 9:01:00 GMT -5 Cdnfroggy said:

It's mostly the idea of not spending every day with him anymore and missing out on things with him.
I've only spent a few hours away from him at the most, so I know that's a big part of it. Out DC is actually closed this August, so it'll be a blend of different family members watching him for the summer. He'll start at daycare in September and do two half hour solo stints there beforehand. I trust everyone who is going to be watching him, so it's not that. I just feel...very overwhelmed by all of it.

That's understandable. I'd say even though the DC isn't open, still do some "dry runs" with one or two of the family members who will be belling for the month of August. Schedule yourself some "me" time so you have to get out (hair appointment, massage, just a chance to run errands and have lunch child free) and see how that goes. You can work through whatever anxiety you're feeling Without the added stress of being back to work. 

I can only imagine it's hard to wrap your head around the idea that you won't be spending the whole day with him, but you need to remind yourself that it's for everyone's benefit. You need to work for your family and he will get to spend time meeting other kids and learning at school. And sure, you'll miss out on some stuff, but that's going to happen. It's life and it helps him grow to be able to do things without mom right there with him. 

[liziz]

Cdnfroggy, for me, I had some anxiety leading up to going back to work, but it was all fine once I got back to work and we got in to a routine. It's never going to be easy to be away from your LO, but practice will help, and it also helps to remind yourself of the fun things you can do at work like pee by yourself, and drink a whole cup of hot coffee!

[bigrock74]

I'm in the same boat as you, Cdnfroggy. My return date is July 13 but I am hoping to take 6 weeks unpaid so I can have the summer off with Spencer. I am also horrible at building up anticipation so I started thinking about going back to work in OCTOBER!! I kept telling myself to calm down and that I wasn't going back until next year...and here we are. Ugh!
Part of my problem is that I DO NOT want to go back to my old job and I haven't confirmed employment at the new place yet.


@zerozeroone, when do you go back?

[bigrock74]

@zerozeroone, oh my gosh i totally read that wrong! I think I'm still half asleep...sorry. I thought you were saying you were going back in a few weeks but it was saskie. My brain hurts today.

[dawnfire]

Cdnfroggy, if you like your job/coworkers it will eventually feel okay and normal once you get back in the groove of working. I went back last October, and it was pretty jarring going from baby to work. It would probably be a bit easier now since LO isn't so teeny tiny.

I still wish I could be with him more, but I really like that he's getting socialization at a very early age. He's used to taking bottles/being fed by people other than me, he's used to his teachers, and he gets to see other kiddos.

I really wanted to be a SAHM, but I think eventually I would have been driving crazy by it. I won't lie, though--some days it is really hard to know that for 9 hours a day, someone else is seeing his sweet little smile and getting to cuddle him.

[bigrock74]

That's all you can do Cdnfroggy. I'm sure it will be easier as time goes on but the first week is going to be hell (for me anyway).