Bridesmaids- would you choose the same?

[shemarie82]

I was talking to my BFF, and she had a bridesmaid that she has not talked to since her wedding day almost 11 years ago. Would you pick the same people as you did the last time?

[joy]

Yes. However.

I purposefully only chose my sister (as Maid of Honor) because I absolutely did NOT want to look at my wedding pictures years from now and think "who was that girl again?"

[ohinvrtedworld]

I definitely don't regret my choices at all, they were all my close friends. If anything, if I had a bigger wedding in general, there were one or two more friends who are very special to me who I wish I could have included more. Both of them were a little hurt not to be my bridesmaids, which made me sad. Having 6 just would have been overwhelming compared to our relatively small wedding guest list.

[summerdonna]

I would have the same people but I chose my sister and cousin. I didn't want to have any friends for this reason. I was in a girls wedding about 8 years ago and I couldn't even tell you the last time I talked to her.

[shemarie82]

I had 5, I still talk to all of them, but if I had to do it again, I would have just had my MOH. Two of them were out of family obligation.

ETA: I don't regret the ladies that I chose, but there was extra unneeded stress by some of them.

[kariann12]

Yup. I chose wisely the first time and I wouldn't change a thing.

[ceejay]

I had 7 bridesmaids, and 4 of the 7 were family (DH's sisters and mine). Of the other 3, one was my college roommate and one was a best friend I had known since I was a baby. I would include just those 6 if I had to do it now.

The only one I would not include if I had to do it again was a friend from high school. She had asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, which was just a few months before mine, so it would have been rude (based on our relationship at the time) if I hadn't asked her to be in my wedding too. I got married almost 6 years ago, and I've only talked to her twice since my wedding.

[shemarie82]

May 18, 2015 12:23:34 GMT -5 summerdonna said:

I would have the same people but I chose my sister and cousin. I didn't want to have any friends for this reason. I was in a girls wedding about 8 years ago and I couldn't even tell you the last time I talked to her.

I was in B's cousin's wedding only because I fit in the dress. That bitch was CRAZY, and I don't question why the other girl backed out.

[pinkcat]

Interesting question!

I had 7 bridesmaids, and I think I would ask all of them except 1 again. Nothing against her, she just moved several states away and we have lost touch- we only occasionally catch up on Facebook now.

The rest were my sister, 2 cousins, my sister in law, and 2 longtime friends- I would ask all of them again!

[awkwardturtle]

I had four friends and my sister. Wouldn't change a thing, but I have known all the friends in my wedding for 10-20 years.

[daisy818]

Like joy I only had my sister as MOH. Made life much easier. I did invite about 12 of my best girl friends to come back to the dressing room with me before the ceremony to have champagne and hang out as I got ready - that was a lot of fun.

[wannabmama]

I got married a little older and only a year ago so I definitely would have had the same people if I had a wedding party. There are two additional girls I would have loved to have included but it would've been too much. That said...I wanted no wedding party at all but that idea was nixed by MH...I still would've liked it, and then to include each important person in some way through the whole night's activities. But, it was a ton of fun to get ready together and have everyone with me all day so I guess it worked out (we didn't have MOH or BM though).

[mrsjene]

I had six. There's definitely one I would have switched out for one of my closest friends. I'm still kicking myself seven years later for not asking her to be a bridesmaid (I was a bridesmaid in her wedding a year later).

[PepperPottsJ]

I totally got lucky waiting so long, and wouldn't change a thing .
@wallflwr926 was MOH
MH's 2 nieces were junior bridesmaids
My niece and 2 lifetime BFF's daughters were flower girls

It would have caused too much grief to select from my 'adult' friends so just didn't try

[mugster]

I had my sisters and my bff... I still love them all, but I'd go no bridal party if I was doing it over.

[aprilz81]

I only had my sister as my Matron of Honor and DH had his best friend as Best Man. Our wedding was small(ish) at 75 guests and it was DH's second wedding so I didn't want a huge bridal party to deal with. I don't regret it at all!

[peony]

I got married at 20 which was extremely young. I grew apart from two of them, one of them was my MOH. We had a bad fight, our friendship was very toxic. I wish the friends that I made as an adult would have been in my wedding. It's weird to look back on our wedding day and see these people who are basically strangers to me today.

[requiressnacks]

I had my two sisters as my co-maids of honors. It was so great only have 2 bitches to worry about! I have a group of girlfriends who (I think) were all relieved that they didn't have to be my BM's. LOL

[summerdonna]

May 18, 2015 12:26:08 GMT -5 shemarie82 said:

May 18, 2015 12:23:34 GMT -5 summerdonna said:

I would have the same people but I chose my sister and cousin. I didn't want to have any friends for this reason. I was in a girls wedding about 8 years ago and I couldn't even tell you the last time I talked to her.

I was in B's cousin's wedding only because I fit in the dress. That bitch was CRAZY, and I don't question why the other girl backed out.

Uh oh. At least I'm guessing you didn't have to buy the dress?

[jags8]

My MOH was my BFF since 7th grade. She suddenly just stopped returning phone calls for like a year. Then a year ago she calls me up to let me know I apparently offended her a few years ago by having an opinion about epidurals (she is a pharmacist). So obviously that makes me the worst friend ever, and now I am banned to her list of acquaintances. I would love to just forget her but we have friends in common.

I was also dumb and asked someone who I hadn't really talked to much in a few years. I don't know why I did that.

If I could have a do-over, I would only have my sisters and one of my friends.

[shemarie82]

May 18, 2015 12:33:20 GMT -5 summerdonna said:

May 18, 2015 12:26:08 GMT -5 shemarie82 said:

I was in B's cousin's wedding only because I fit in the dress. That bitch was CRAZY, and I don't question why the other girl backed out.

Uh oh. At least I'm guessing you didn't have to buy the dress?

I did not, thankfully! The marriage did last much longer than the ceremony actually, because, CRAZY!

[jewel441]

I would have all the same people. My wedding was 2 years ago and I had 6, my two best friends from grade school/HS school, my 2 best friend's from college, MH's sister and then my MOH was my g-d parents daughter, who is the closest thing I have to a sister and I consider more family than friend. 

I have definitely been in some weddings that I would certainly not be in now though. 

[Rama]

I'm also pretty much in joy's boat -- I specifically asked my SIL and younger sister to stand by me "at the altar" and no one else because I know they'll always be in my life.  With them, I won't look back at wedding pictures years later, wondering who is standing next to me.

[shemarie82]

There is a girl that I asked to be a bridesmaid that declined because she doesn't believe in same sex marriage. Being that we have been close since I was 9, and had been with B for 13 years at that point, I did not consider that it would have been a problem.

We are still working on having some sort of friendliness, but it is still tough for us both. I wish I had not asked at all, because it broke my heart by turning me down.

[mlgnumbers]

Good gracious, I was *so* young when I got married. If I were getting married today, I'd definitely make some changes.

My brother didn't even know my SIL yet when I got married. She'd *DEFINITELY* be added to the wedding party. I love her to death.

[TheEleventhHour]

At the end of the day we ended up eloping alone but when we were wedding planning I had planned on 4 bridesmaids and I am close to them all still (sister, 2 cousins, and my oldest friend) so I do not think I would have regretted my choices!

[mlgnumbers]

May 18, 2015 12:48:08 GMT -5 shemarie82 said:

There is a girl that I asked to be a bridesmaid that declined because she doesn't believe in same sex marriage. Being that we have been close since I was 9, and had been with B for 13 years at that point, I did not consider that it would have been a problem.

We are still working on having some sort of friendliness, but it is still tough for us both. I wish I had not asked at all, because it broke my heart by turning me down.

LT because I can't imagine how deeply that cut. Also, mad respect for you seeking to continue a friendship with her. I don't know that I would have been able to get past my own hurt. I hope that she learns from your incredible example.

[teraiin]

I would change my MOH. Mine did almost literally nothing to assist. She did not help with anything, plan anything, etc. She didn't even do anything with my bridal shower. My husband's grandmother and aunt did that because she didn't want to.

I'm not saying my MOH needed to be a slave or anything. But a friend of mine who WASN'T in the wedding bent over backwards to help me handle issues and get things done. I'd rather have given her the 'glory' of being MOH.

[jags8]

May 18, 2015 12:48:08 GMT -5 shemarie82 said:

There is a girl that I asked to be a bridesmaid that declined because she doesn't believe in same sex marriage. Being that we have been close since I was 9, and had been with B for 13 years at that point, I did not consider that it would have been a problem.

We are still working on having some sort of friendliness, but it is still tough for us both. I wish I had not asked at all, because it broke my heart by turning me down.

At least you know what kind of person she is now. I personally would have probably cut her from my life.

[ladyvenice]

We eloped so I didn't have any, but the only person I would have considered as my BM I would still pick again today.