Post by SheilaTheTank on May 20, 2015 10:16:24 GMT -5
I don't know if this was said yet, but your current insurance will cover you until the end of the month. So he can try to get a start date that is at the very beginning and the old insurance will cover you.
Also some jobs have the benefits starting on day 1.
I also recommend contacting your state health insurance provider and getting a quote for a low cost insurance plan and compare it to what your best guesstimate of what the COBRA would be. You may need to tough it out for a few months but if this job is seriously stressing you both out then it will be worth it in the end.
My husband is working ridiculous hours right now and it's pissing me the hell off. It's pissing him off. At least he comes every night, but does it really count when it's 10pm and he sits on the couch to continue working while I go to bed? Joy says no.
I understand that you have insurance considerations and time commitment worries, but I did want to address one point. Anyone who has been on this board awhile will know what I'm about to say: please DON'T stress about how many days in your fertile window you hit. It's not worth getting stressed or fighting over. You only need to hit *one* day in that window to have a shot at pregnancy. You don't need to have sex every day or every other day and hit 4/5 days to think you have "good" timing. Good timing is one act of sex in your fertile window. The end. I promise :-)
::hugs::
joy, you're completely correct. Although I did get somewhat stressed about having sex once in 5-6 days, theoretically we could still have gotten pregnant. Thanks for bringing me back down to earth.
To everyone who mentioned Medicaid, thank you. I will certainly look into it. H and I will have another conversation tonight, but I think the consensus will still be to TTA until he finds a new job with better conditions for our relationship.
I will say, as a caveat, that in this first cycle post-BC, I have not yet had my period. There is a miniscule chance I could be pregnant right now, though I have taken some tests and gotten BFNs. I just don't know how long my cycle is and am not charting, so all these insurance suggestions will be very helpful in the small chance that I am pregnant.
I don't really have anything helpful to say. Except huge hugs, I can't imagine the stress/pain this situation has caused and I hope you guys can get it straightened out.
I have insurance anecdotes that aren't mine. But they are likely specific to my state or different industries so I doubt they'd be helpful (they might end up being more alarming than useful).
Anyway, my point is, I'm SO sorry you need to deal with this stuff.
Post by LadyNymeria on May 20, 2015 10:34:47 GMT -5
When I left my last job my insurance covered me until the end of the month. My insurance at my new job was effective the 1st of the month following my date of hire (i.e. I started 5/5 so it was effective 6/1).
I was offered COBRA for the in between, but it was $1000. One nice catch with COBRA was that as long as you signed up within 60 days, the effective date could be back-dated to when I left my last job. We did not sign up immediately, but had we needed insurance I could have signed up later and whatever needed to be covered would have been.
That unfortunately doesn't help the cost but I at least wanted to throw it out there.
TTC timing is a completely personal decision so I will only tell you what I would do in your situation. As much as I would hate to stop TTC once we started, in this situation I would probably pause TTC until we could work out his job situation.
Hopefully he can find something new quickly so if you two do decided to pause TTC, you won't have to wait too long.
Post by Heisenberg on May 20, 2015 10:35:36 GMT -5
I don't have anything helpful to say besides I'm so sorry things haven't worked out as planned. (hugs from a creepy internet stranger) I hope it gets better for you guys soon.
Me: 29, PCOS with slight IR and slightly elevated DHEA-S. HSG all clear, SHG shows a couple cysts but besides that, all normal. Prescribed Metformin. H: 40, Low motility, morph and volume. Meeting with urologist & repeat SA in August to see if anything can be done to improve numbers.
Post by ♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪ on May 20, 2015 10:36:59 GMT -5
Things cannot stay the way they are right now. It won't work. So what are the options? Here is my thought process, including questions for myself, if I was in your position:
1. MH confronts management again about travel reduction. They come to an agreement (possibly in writing?) and they stick to it. Am I/how much time am I willing to wait to see if this happens? Does it make sense to job search anyway (seems like it would)?
2. MH confronts management again about travel reduction. They come to an agreement but don't stick to it. Am I/how long am I willing to wait to see if this happens? MH starts applying for new jobs.
3. Skip trying to make it work with current job, and start applying for new jobs. Are there other jobs opportunities in the area? Or would this mean I would have to move? How hard was it for MH to get this current job?
When I left my last job my insurance covered me until the end of the month. My insurance at my new job was effective the 1st of the month following my date of hire (i.e. I started 5/5 so it was effective 6/1).
I was offered COBRA for the in between, but it was $1000. One nice catch with COBRA was that as long as you signed up within 60 days, the effective date could be back-dated to when I left my last job. We did not sign up immediately, but had we needed insurance I could have signed up later and whatever needed to be covered would have been.
That unfortunately doesn't help the cost but I at least wanted to throw it out there.
TTC timing is a completely personal decision so I will only tell you what I would do in your situation. As much as I would hate to stop TTC once we started, in this situation I would probably pause TTC until we could work out his job situation.
Hopefully he can find something new quickly so if you two do decided to pause TTC, you won't have to wait too long.
Sending lots of hugs your way.
I also want to add that because it is back dated any medical expenses you pay out of pocket will be reimbursed. Keep your a copy of your receipts and all you need to do usually is fill out the form and submit the receipts with it. It takes a couple weeks but they will send you a reimbursement check.
Things cannot stay the way they are right now. It won't work. So what are the options? Here is my thought process, including questions for myself, if I was in your position:
1. MH confronts management again about travel reduction. They come to an agreement (possibly in writing?) and they stick to it. Am I/how much time am I willing to wait to see if this happens? Does it make sense to job search anyway (seems like it would)?
2. MH confronts management again about travel reduction. They come to an agreement but don't stick to it. Am I/how long am I willing to wait to see if this happens? MH starts applying for new jobs.
3. Skip trying to make it work with current job, and start applying for new jobs. Are there other jobs opportunities in the area? Or would this mean I would have to move? How hard was it for MH to get this current job?
So much this. I think we have gone through option 2, and they clearly did not stick to it. We are down to option 1 and 3, though I think H is pretty much done with this job (I know I am, but I was waiting for him to get on board). He is currently looking for new jobs already, as of this week. Unfortunately, it took him several months to find his current job.
In either case, we're pretty much stuck with this job until he secures a new one. I am too level-headed to ask him to leave a paycheck for no prospects...at least at this juncture.
Post by SheilaTheTank on May 20, 2015 10:47:38 GMT -5
ironbaby, is your husband under contract at all? Was there anything in writing saying that travel would be limited? You may want to look into labor laws in your state to see if you have any protections since this sounds like it was bait and switch.
ironbaby, is your husband under contract at all? Was there anything in writing saying that travel would be limited? You may want to look into labor laws in your state to see if you have any protections since this sounds like it was bait and switch.
I am not aware of any contract, though I will ask him. He did sign a letter of intent that laid out the rate of pay and a non-compete clause, but it did not reference travel (or lack thereof).
ironbaby, is your husband under contract at all? Was there anything in writing saying that travel would be limited? You may want to look into labor laws in your state to see if you have any protections since this sounds like it was bait and switch.
I am not aware of any contract, though I will ask him. He did sign a letter of intent that laid out the rate of pay and a non-compete clause, but it did not reference travel (or lack thereof).
The NC labor departments phone number is 1-800-NC-LABOR (1-800-625-2267) I would call them and ask. It doesn't hurt.
Explain to them what happened as clearly as possible and ask if you have any retaliation.
Post by shadesofgold on May 20, 2015 11:23:43 GMT -5
I'm so sorry you're in this tough situation. It sounds like something that would be hard on your relationship with or without TTC and it needs to be resolved. Adding the stresses of TTC on top of it... I don't want to tell you what is right for you, but that is a lot of stress. As others have said, he should be clear with his employer that he needs to (not just prefers) to travel less. They may take him more seriously if he is clear that he'll be seeking other employment if he cannot count on them to minimize his travel.
As for insurance - this is where I can help a little more. As PP have said, whether your insurance coverage starts on day 1 of a job is totally based on the employer and the plan. His current insurance should remain active until the end of the month he leaves his current job. Some plans, even if they are "effective", will have waiting periods for benefit coverage. Most will have deductibles to be met before they start covering services, except for preventive care, prenatal care and annual check-ups. It is now against the law to treat pregnancy as a pre-existing condition, so that at least should not be a consideration. It will be extremely difficult for you to be able to determine what the insurance benefits are for a job until you are employed there and have a membership ID card from the insurance plan. Prenatal care will be covered, but again, you will have deductibles and limits on some services (like ultrasounds) that you just can't know about until you have it.
Medicaid is an option if you are eligible based on your annual household income, but it looks like NC did not expand Medicaid coverage so you have to be very low-income to qualify. Here is more info: www.ncdhhs.gov/dma/medicaid/apply.htm
90 days sounds about right for insurance to kick in... Unfortunately If you buy insurance through the Marketplace which can only be done 3 months out of the year I think it goes into effect a month or two after.
I believe loss of current coverage lets you enroll at any time- at least, that's how it's typically worked with most insurance companies I've dealt with. I'm not sure if that impacts the effective date, though.
ironbaby, I'd look into the exchange for your state (or the federal one, if your state opted out of setting up their own) and see what the rules are for enrollment. With so many companies beginning to cut spousal health insurance, I wouldn't be surprised if they're opening things up a bit. But, I agree with others that you and your H both need to be comfortable with TTC in order to go forward.
Post by ohinvrtedworld on May 20, 2015 11:33:17 GMT -5
I just wanted to jump in and add my hugs, ironbaby. I can't imagine how stressful and frustrating that is. I hope that you and YH are able to make a decision that you agree on, and helps you both feel like you're moving forward with TTC.
Post by PepperPottsJ on May 20, 2015 11:56:12 GMT -5
{{HUGS}} ironbaby I'm so sorry you have this stress! 1 thing to consider if YH finds a job without day 1 insurance is COBRA. His insurance should remain effective through the last day of the month he is there, and you should have the option to retain that coverage at your own expense (I had to do this in July due to my companies whacky policy). You are no where near being a drama queen, my job has required much more travel than I had anticipated and it's super stressful if you are TTA, never mind TTC!!! Sending you wishes for a quick solution!!
This is a real issue...you are not being an AW!!! I would talk to them again and have YH continue to look for another job. Also, if there is a gap between insurance from one job to another you can either keep insurance at his current job through Cobra (usually really expensive) until the insurance kicks in at the other job. Or you can get it through the Marketplace for ACA due to a job change.
Either of those are good options if you want to continue to TTC while this goes on. However, it also makes sense if you want to hold off on TTC while dealing with this situation. I would have a heart to heart talk(s) with YH to see what you guys feel is best. And it might be one answer today and another one a month from now. Just continue to communicate to keep on the same page.
Engaged May 2003 Married June 2005 TTC #1 since October 2014 H-1% morph, low motility, low count Me-.1 AMH levels, low AFC, DOR/POI, perimenopause Foster Care journey begins March 2016-licensed 11/7/16 Foster parents to A & J 1/31/17 www.fertilityfriend.com/home/5525ef
Really, everyone, thank you from the bottom of my heart. It is so reassuring to know that not only are my (and H's) feelings valid, but I have your support and guidance.
We will TTA for now, as much as it pains us. I know it's the right decision with so many unknowns.
Unfortunately, NC is a right-to-work state, so our legal grounds aren't very good in terms of his employer not disclosing the travel.
We will continue to re-evaluate the TTA decision as time goes on and our feelings change. It will surely be a recurring conversation. Knowing we may have some options with insurance coverage is very helpful, and many of you have offered some great insight and reassurance in that regard.
A huge reason DH left the Navy was because we wanted to start family. And after 3 deployments in 3.5 years plus endless detachments, we knew that wouldn't work for us. Of course he left a good paying job with decent insurance, but it was worth it to us.
I personally would have him start looking for another job now and hopefully he can make a switch soon. You may have to hold off TTC for a while due to insurance coverage. I think it will depend on the company itself.
ETA- we currently have insurance through the marketplace.
I'm so sorry you're in this tough situation. It sounds like something that would be hard on your relationship with or without TTC and it needs to be resolved. Adding the stresses of TTC on top of it... I don't want to tell you what is right for you, but that is a lot of stress. As others have said, he should be clear with his employer that he needs to (not just prefers) to travel less. They may take him more seriously if he is clear that he'll be seeking other employment if he cannot count on them to minimize his travel.
As for insurance - this is where I can help a little more. As PP have said, whether your insurance coverage starts on day 1 of a job is totally based on the employer and the plan. His current insurance should remain active until the end of the month he leaves his current job. Some plans, even if they are "effective", will have waiting periods for benefit coverage. Most will have deductibles to be met before they start covering services, except for preventive care, prenatal care and annual check-ups. It is now against the law to treat pregnancy as a pre-existing condition, so that at least should not be a consideration. It will be extremely difficult for you to be able to determine what the insurance benefits are for a job until you are employed there and have a membership ID card from the insurance plan. Prenatal care will be covered, but again, you will have deductibles and limits on some services (like ultrasounds) that you just can't know about until you have it.
Medicaid is an option if you are eligible based on your annual household income, but it looks like NC did not expand Medicaid coverage so you have to be very low-income to qualify. Here is more info: www.ncdhhs.gov/dma/medicaid/apply.htm
TTC #1 since August 2013 DX: Endo November 2014: Hysteroscopy, D&C June - September 2015: Clomid + Novarel + IUI #1-3 January 2017: Laparoscopy - endo removed
Post by getzystark on May 20, 2015 14:24:16 GMT -5
Everyone has given great advice! I'm so sorry you're going through this stress.
I second what PPs have said about Medicaid. It's made for situations like this. You wouldn't be on it forever, just through the pregnancy.
Also, I bought insurance through the marketplace when I had an independent contractor job for 1 month. My insurance was effective as soon as my old insurance ran out, so I had no gap.
ILY!!! +1 to what everyone else has said. Your feelings about this shitty situation are totally valid.
Huge hugs & fx YH finds a new position with the quickness.
As for Medicaid in NC you have to have significantly low income to qualify. Thanks to Pat we did not expand Medicaid benefits so a lot of families got screwed out of getting some help with insurance coverage.
We are all rooting for you & sending tons of positive vibes your way!!
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