- If you can afford to live off of one salary comfortably and you don't want to work anymore and would rather SAH, what's the problem? Why do you need a better reason to be a SAHM? Why is it anyone's business? - If you can afford to hire a cleaning company and would rather spend time with your kid than scrub the floors, who gives a fuck?
The judgement in this thread is fucking lame. Honestly, if your kids are well-taken care of, I don't give a shit if your house is always a wreck. And if you want your house not to be a wreck and the only way to make that happen is to hire someone to help out, then that's what you should do.
Also:
- Ice cream and nutella are awesome
If I could afford it... I would be a stay at home wife, still ship the kiddos to daycare, and spend most of my time volunteering. That would be ideal for me.
It's best that I don't have 24 hour contact with my children. I love her, but I'm tapped after 6+ hours.
I'll SAH full time for the first year out of necessity/inability to pay for infant daycare, but I really don't think it should be anyone's business if I decide after that year to leave my grad program and stay home full time. I feel like if you can afford it and you're still taking care of your kids and spending time with them, that's all that matters.
I guess my UO is related: I don't want any real-life mom friends because I don't want to be judged or compete with anyone. I just want to raise my kids and sometimes have a messy house and sometimes order out instead of cooking without worrying that my "friends" are talking shit about me behind my back or on a mom forum somewhere.
I guess my UO is related: I don't want any real-life mom friends because I don't want to be judged or compete with anyone. I just want to raise my kids and sometimes have a messy house and sometimes order out instead of cooking without worrying that my "friends" are talking shit about me behind my back or on a mom forum somewhere.
I have real life mom friends, and there probably is some judging going on, but there's not a lot of drama about it. We're friends because we're in GFWC together, not because we're moms. So maybe that helps? I decided to skip preschool and it's nice because a bunch of us have little girls the same age and my DD can have friendships outside of preschool. We don't have the kind of relationship where we go to each other for parenting advice or anything.
Oh, I will say that going to their children's birthday parties seriously stresses me out. The money spent was outrageous to me. I guess I just don't love my kids that much? Haha. But it caused me to realize early on that elaborate birthdays are so not my thing and I'm opting out. That's good in my book.
Post by decembergirl1216 on Jan 22, 2015 12:15:56 GMT -5
I hate it when anyone "our's" me about my children. For example my Mom text me asking "what is going to be our grandson's name?"...she is a speshul snowflayke attention seeking drama queen....so it really isn't surprising.
As a mother it instantly gets under my skin to say something about my children that includes yourself and excludes their mother and father.
I hate it when anyone "our's" me about my children. For example my Mom text me asking "what is going to be our grandson's name?"...she is a speshul snowflayke attention seeking drama queen....so it really isn't surprising.
As a mother it instantly gets under my skin to say something about my children that includes yourself and excludes their mother and father.
my mom does this, only she says things like "how's MY baby"... YOUR baby? that's funny, and you owe me some child support.
DX: Unexplained, possible Endo. October 2014: Letrozole + Trigger + IUI = BFP!!! Beta #1: 32 Beta #2: 77. Little Miss E born July 9th, 2015 Previously DarcyHermione
I hate it when anyone "our's" me about my children. For example my Mom text me asking "what is going to be our grandson's name?"...she is a speshul snowflayke attention seeking drama queen....so it really isn't surprising.
As a mother it instantly gets under my skin to say something about my children that includes yourself and excludes their mother and father.
my mom does this, only she says things like "how's MY baby"... YOUR baby? that's funny, and you owe me some child support.
*possible trigger warning*
That's funny about the child support
I ended up telling my Mom the name and she wanted to know who it was after. I told her his name is just his own....silence. I think she thought I would name him after my Dad the man that used to scream at me when I was really little how I was white trash just like her (she is still married to him)....I don't freaking think so.
I hate it when anyone "our's" me about my children. For example my Mom text me asking "what is going to be our grandson's name?"...she is a speshul snowflayke attention seeking drama queen....so it really isn't surprising.
As a mother it instantly gets under my skin to say something about my children that includes yourself and excludes their mother and father.
my mom does this, only she says things like "how's MY baby"... YOUR baby? that's funny, and you owe me some child support.
Yes. MIL does the whole MY thing too. Awe, my baby, look at my baby, my grandson. I don't know why it annoys me so.
@justinslovo well, it was nice knowing you, but ice cream is a requirement in life. I worked at Cold Stone the summer after I graduated high school and made up the absolute best concoction ever - too bad if you don't work there it would cost about $15 for a small cup, but man it was good. It was loosely a Rocky Road, but I made it with coffee ice cream and added peanut butter to the rest of the rocky road ingredients.
I haven't had it since 2000 and I still think of it fondly.
meggos1988 we have a running joke about a coworker who ordered a burger at a famous Mexican place here in town. She doesn't get invited to said Mexican place anymore; her excuse was that she can't eat spicy food, but get a quesadilla! Or a stuffed sopapilla! There are tons of non-spicy options, no one is force-feeding you chile, even in southern New Mexico.
Now I want a sopapilla!! You girls are killing me today with the all the yummy food ideas! kristhegirl I lived in Taos when I was little and I've always loved sopaillas the most!! I have a hard time finding good ones on the east coast though....
I would possibly give a rib or two to be able to afford to stay home and hire a cleaning lady. That would be the life. No judgement here.
UO: I think working women who judge SAHM's who have cleaning ladies have jealousy issues. It isn't your money or your life, get over it. This is coming from a working mom who has lots of SAHM friends whom I adore and at times I am completely envious that they get to spend more time with their kiddos or join Bible Studies that I can't, etc. However, I try to just be thankful for what I do have and thankful that I have great friends / women in my life no matter our economical status and be happy for all of us!
I have never had nutella but I LOVE me some ice cream.
I struggle with this because I have a friend who I was super close with all through high school and undergrad (we went to different schools in the same city). The second year after undergrad (so last year) she went away to Spain for almost a year and wasn't able to make my wedding which was a total bummer, and we tried to keep up contact but we really only talked a few times while she was away. I saw her once since she's come back over the summer and it was just kind of awkward because it had been so long and a lot had changed. She now lives in the same city we went to school in but I've since moved to go to grad school, so we live in different states and neither of us make much of an effort to make plans because we're both broke and busy. She texts me when she's visiting her family in Jersey but it's always the day of with no heads up and I still live like an hour from our home town so I haven't been able to see her those two or three times she texted me since the summer.
So like, do I not invite her to my shower? I feel like that would hurt her feelings since we've been friends for so long. But if she's going to come and side eye me and feel like you do, then obviously I wouldn't invite her because I don't want her to think I only invited her for gifts. I'm not begging for gifts, I just don't want her to feel like I'm leaving her out especially when the pictures will be all over Facebook and she's FB friends with my best friends who are planning/will be there.
Definitely invite your friend, Sassy. Some people you won't talk to as much, but I feel like it is important to invite them to celebrations. It depends on the type of friend/acquaintence, but I would definitely invite her in this situation!
*** Please excuse the typos, my phone hates me***
Married September 14, 2013
TTC #1 August 2014
1st Pregnancy September 2014 - Chemical Pregnancy
2nd Pregnancy October 2014 - July 8, 2015 Due Date!Stick bean, stick!
*** Please excuse the typos, my phone hates me***
Married September 14, 2013
TTC #1 August 2014
1st Pregnancy September 2014 - Chemical Pregnancy
2nd Pregnancy October 2014 - July 8, 2015 Due Date!Stick bean, stick!
I think that children should be allowed to play outside without the parents being investigated by DHS/CPS/whathaveyou. I am more aware than the most of the dangers in our society (I specialize in trauma and sexual abuse) but I also know how dangerous it can be to shelter kids from independent play outside. I highly recommend the book "last child in the woods" to anyone willing to read it. *steps off soapbox*
Yes yes and yes. Last summer I had a knock on my door it was neighbor informing me that my kids were playing in my backyard and wanted me to know. Yes lady I know. It's a fenced in back yard and I am in the kitchen (which faces the backyard) with my windows and screen door open so I can hear them. Seriously I can't let my own kids play outside by themselves?!
@justinslovo well, it was nice knowing you, but ice cream is a requirement in life. I worked at Cold Stone the summer after I graduated high school and made up the absolute best concoction ever - too bad if you don't work there it would cost about $15 for a small cup, but man it was good. It was loosely a Rocky Road, but I made it with coffee ice cream and added peanut butter to the rest of the rocky road ingredients.
I haven't had it since 2000 and I still think of it fondly.
meggos1988 we have a running joke about a coworker who ordered a burger at a famous Mexican place here in town. She doesn't get invited to said Mexican place anymore; her excuse was that she can't eat spicy food, but get a quesadilla! Or a stuffed sopapilla! There are tons of non-spicy options, no one is force-feeding you chile, even in southern New Mexico.
I also worked at cold stone! Did you have to sing for tips? I really don't miss that part lol
I think it's rude when "friends" who never reach out to talk to you, or invite you out/over to hang out, or even just take the time to see how you're doing invite you to parties like a shower, where a gift is required. Sure, I'll be polite and go, but I'm slightly bitter. I wish I had my own baby bump to show up with all like "yeah! I got one too, and aren't begging you for free gifts!". I mean, if you haven't once called/texted/hung out with me in several mos, why consider me a friend enough to ask for a gift!? I'm the same with birthdays. I guess I'm an anti social grump.
I struggle with this because I have a friend who I was super close with all through high school and undergrad (we went to different schools in the same city). The second year after undergrad (so last year) she went away to Spain for almost a year and wasn't able to make my wedding which was a total bummer, and we tried to keep up contact but we really only talked a few times while she was away. I saw her once since she's come back over the summer and it was just kind of awkward because it had been so long and a lot had changed. She now lives in the same city we went to school in but I've since moved to go to grad school, so we live in different states and neither of us make much of an effort to make plans because we're both broke and busy. She texts me when she's visiting her family in Jersey but it's always the day of with no heads up and I still live like an hour from our home town so I haven't been able to see her those two or three times she texted me since the summer.
So like, do I not invite her to my shower? I feel like that would hurt her feelings since we've been friends for so long. But if she's going to come and side eye me and feel like you do, then obviously I wouldn't invite her because I don't want her to think I only invited her for gifts. I'm not begging for gifts, I just don't want her to feel like I'm leaving her out especially when the pictures will be all over Facebook and she's FB friends with my best friends who are planning/will be there.
Invite the friend! If I invite someone to something that I haven't seen in a while, it's just because I want to see them. But I totally understand your dilemma. I worried about that at DD's last bday party when I invited an old friend and her kids.
If this is your first UO thread, I see why you might be confused. Keep lurking and you'll see that the UO threads aren't flame free and that no ones panties were in a bunch.
*** Please excuse the typos, my phone hates me***
Married September 14, 2013
TTC #1 August 2014
1st Pregnancy September 2014 - Chemical Pregnancy
2nd Pregnancy October 2014 - July 8, 2015 Due Date!Stick bean, stick!
I struggle with this because I have a friend who I was super close with all through high school and undergrad (we went to different schools in the same city). The second year after undergrad (so last year) she went away to Spain for almost a year and wasn't able to make my wedding which was a total bummer, and we tried to keep up contact but we really only talked a few times while she was away. I saw her once since she's come back over the summer and it was just kind of awkward because it had been so long and a lot had changed. She now lives in the same city we went to school in but I've since moved to go to grad school, so we live in different states and neither of us make much of an effort to make plans because we're both broke and busy. She texts me when she's visiting her family in Jersey but it's always the day of with no heads up and I still live like an hour from our home town so I haven't been able to see her those two or three times she texted me since the summer.
So like, do I not invite her to my shower? I feel like that would hurt her feelings since we've been friends for so long. But if she's going to come and side eye me and feel like you do, then obviously I wouldn't invite her because I don't want her to think I only invited her for gifts. I'm not begging for gifts, I just don't want her to feel like I'm leaving her out especially when the pictures will be all over Facebook and she's FB friends with my best friends who are planning/will be there.[/quote]
I think this is totally different. I was referring to people I've just met in the last few years out where I live now. Long distance and old friends are totally different! I have several friends who live far away and we don't necessarily keep in touch regularly or see each other, but when we do, it's almost as if nothing has changed in some ways. This rant was more directed at people I've met through mutual friends who have NEVER been a so called "friend". Like I said, people I like, but not people who have taken me up on offers to socialize or who have not invited me to other non-gift bearing events. This girl didn't even tell me she was pregnant! Our mutual friend did - I think that's the only reason I'm invited (and another gift!)
Definitely invite your friend! And I still can't figure out how to quote correctly.
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