UO Thursday Jan 22, 2015 13:34:27 GMT -5via mobile
Post by thiscoffeechick on Jan 22, 2015 13:34:27 GMT -5
******trigger warning: infant loss mentioned************* DO NOT QUOTE. JUST TAG ME IN A RESPONSE.
Forgive the rather morbid topic but my UO is that I think it's silly to blame SIDS for infant death whose cause is explained. It came up in the thread about useless baby stuff and it was brought up that crib bumpers can cause SIDS. Isn't SIDS when an infant dies and the cause is unknown? Strangulation from a crib bumper means the cause of death was asphyxiation not SIDS.
Oh, here's my REAL UO and it's even baby related. Y'all know I work with new mothers so I see this a lot: babies who are only wearing a onesie.
It's JANUARY and cold out. Mom and Dad both have long pants and long sleeve shirt on, and underweight baby has short sleeve onesie, no socks, no hat, no blanket. It takes everything in me to keep from screaming "PUT SOME CLOTHES ON THAT BABY!"
PSA for FTM: In case you were wondering, babies can't self regulate their temp until 6months and the rule for clothing is whatever everyone else is wearing plus one layer. So this poor babe should have on like a sleeper and onesie combo.
Post by slurpeelove on Jan 22, 2015 14:21:26 GMT -5
I wish I could afford to be a SAHM, but I can't.
Someone wrote that they judge people who still live with their parents in their mid to late 20s. I have someone at work who eats out almost every day, sleeps around, brings men home to her parents' house to sleep with them, and lives at home. I judge the shit out of her. Her excuse is that she has $60k in student loans to pay off. You could get a roommate and make payments on your student loans. Everyone has student loans these days. Fucking grow up.
I completely side-eye SAHMs who have cleaning people. Unless you have a physical disability or medical condition that prevents you from being able to clean.
I also side-eye people who say they SAH because they don't want to work. Well, lots of people don't want to work. It sounds lazy and entitled.
I haven't read the whole thread yet but seriously, I love my cleaning lady (she comes once a month), and I wouldn't trade her for anything. I have a toddler and am about to have a second. I'm not going to apologize for taking the help where it comes.
I'm a SAHM to 3 children, I substitute teach a few times a month, chair a PTA board, & sit on the board of the local MOMs Club. People should live productive lives whether they work or SAH. Clearly my opinion is unpopular. So be it.
Okay, this is too much. Insinuating that having a cleaning lady = an unproductive life? Insulting. Just purely insulting.
Someone wrote that they judge people who still live with their parents in their mid to late 20s. I have someone at work who eats out almost every day, sleeps around, brings men home to her parents' house to sleep with them, and lives at home. I judge the shit out of her. Her excuse is that she has $60k in student loans to pay off. You could get a roommate and make payments on your student loans. Everyone has student loans these days. Fucking grow up.
Well, this could get me flamed. Here goes.
There's a gal on my BMB from DD who just announced she's pregnant with #4. If you remove the fact that they had a 4th in another attempt to have a girl (the sole reason, mind you, and I have proof), I judge her for the fact that she, along with her husband and 3 kids and 4th on the way, live with her parents. SHE HAS 3 FREAKING KIDS AND IS MARRIED AND LIVING WITH HER PARENTS. No, it's not to save money for a down payment, it's because they have no money (she tells us all about their money woes). Yet, a 4th kid? Just so you can have all the frilly things? They have lived with her parents since she got pregnant in her late teens (She just turned 24). And has kept cranking out the kids.
I'll add this: I understand things happen sometimes and you have to move back in with parents. But this is not one of those cases.
My UO is that I really hate being pregnant. I'm 100% thankful for being able to have kids, but me and pregnancy just don't get along.
I feel you on this. I'm not enjoying it AT ALL.
And then when I catch myself thinking this, I feel horrible and guilty.
I've been lucky to have a decent pregnancy so far but I get so annoyed at people who say, "oh it's just your mindset. You just need to think positive" if I mention that I'm struggling or that it's tough. So that positive thinking is going to make me stop vomiting? It'll just magically make my dizziness disappear?
Post by foolofatook on Jan 22, 2015 14:32:28 GMT -5
Okay, all caught up.
My UO? I judge people who refuse to listen to other's personal experiences because it doesn't "line up" with the research studies. I think it's arrogant as heck when someone tells you "this is literally what happened TO ME" and people brush it off with "that's not true, that didn't happen, this study says that's impossible."
If you are not vaccinated, there should be some kind sign you have to wear so that I know not to let you near me and my family. I don't feel like it's a parent's choice. At all. I can understand adjusting the schedule of vaccines or being allergic but you don't get to choose to put the rest of humanity at risk because of a lying scientist and Jenny McCarthy.
Just tattoo it on their foreheads. *I AM DANGEROUS! STAY AWAY!*
If you are not vaccinated, there should be some kind sign you have to wear so that I know not to let you near me and my family. I don't feel like it's a parent's choice. At all. I can understand adjusting the schedule of vaccines or being allergic but you don't get to choose to put the rest of humanity at risk because of a lying scientist and Jenny McCarthy.
Just tattoo it on their foreheads. *I AM DANGEROUS! STAY AWAY!*
THESE!! Anyone else heard about the measles going around?
There's a gal on my BMB from DD who just announced she's pregnant with #4. If you remove the fact that they had a 4th in another attempt to have a girl (the sole reason, mind you, and I have proof), I judge her for the fact that she, along with her husband and 3 kids and 4th on the way, live with her parents. SHE HAS 3 FREAKING KIDS AND IS MARRIED AND LIVING WITH HER PARENTS. No, it's not to save money for a down payment, it's because they have no money (she tells us all about their money woes). Yet, a 4th kid? Just so you can have all the frilly things? They have lived with her parents since she got pregnant in her late teens (She just turned 24). And has kept cranking out the kids.
I'll add this: I understand things happen sometimes and you have to move back in with parents. But this is not one of those cases.
I'm so nervous about affording the things a child needs - but the normal we both have great jobs, own a house, pay for all our own shit kind of way. My BIL and his wife? Four kids and plan to try for another. Who has had to give them a monthly stipend to afford their house, cars, etc? My MIL and FIL. No harm in punishing the kids for their parents' mistakes but really?
Totally. It's not the kids fault the parents are irresponsible. This gal even had an IUD and took it out to try for the 4th. If I was her mom, after the 2nd with no plans to move out I'd tell them that if they got pregnant again under my roof they would have to find somewhere else to live.
I might also be heated about this type of enablement because I watch my parents give my sister whatever she needs because she's made poor financial decisions.
And now I feel like a horrible person for even thinking about not supporting my kid(s) in certain situations.
There's a gal on my BMB from DD who just announced she's pregnant with #4. If you remove the fact that they had a 4th in another attempt to have a girl (the sole reason, mind you, and I have proof), I judge her for the fact that she, along with her husband and 3 kids and 4th on the way, live with her parents. SHE HAS 3 FREAKING KIDS AND IS MARRIED AND LIVING WITH HER PARENTS. No, it's not to save money for a down payment, it's because they have no money (she tells us all about their money woes). Yet, a 4th kid? Just so you can have all the frilly things? They have lived with her parents since she got pregnant in her late teens (She just turned 24). And has kept cranking out the kids.
I'll add this: I understand things happen sometimes and you have to move back in with parents. But this is not one of those cases.
I'm so nervous about affording the things a child needs - but the normal we both have great jobs, own a house, pay for all our own shit kind of way. My BIL and his wife? Four kids and plan to try for another. Who has had to give them a monthly stipend to afford their house, cars, etc? My MIL and FIL. No harm in punishing the kids for their parents' mistakes but really?
I could never take help like this. I moved out of my parents' house as soon as I could afford to. I don't ask for help unless I really need it. And quite frankly, you need to get your life together if your parents are still supporting you once you get married.
Today it's people w no work ethic. I'm a grad student in a lab so this is my job. Undergrads (some of whom have been accepted to med school!) have enough time to play on their phone during their "logged hours" in the lab, but leave giant messes that I have to clean up. Even after warnings! I wish I could dole out consequences, but I just hope that they get fired from whatever paying job they try to get. This is the first time since I was 14 that I don't have a job (although I get paid so I guess it's still a job). I never would have gotten away w that shit! I wish people were required to work while they go to school. All these privileged kids graduate w no idea how to be a team player at work (or, you know, they're just giant assholes). And yes I worked full time all through undergrad while also going to school full time and got good enough grades to get into grad school so it's possible.
I miss my cleaning lady - just don't want to spend the $ on it right now. I've had one at various times in our lives and it's all about the time money balance...which do you value more and what works for your family at the time. Criticizing someone for hiring a service that you could do yourself smacks of jealousy to me. Do you also do your own dry cleaning and mani/pedis? What about change your oil and clean your gutters?
******trigger warning: infant loss mentioned*************
thiscoffeechick - That is a really good point and thanks for the reminder. It was me that made the comment about bumpers and SIDS. I guess it's just cause everyone else does it, which isn't a good reason to do so. But you are right, there is a difference between an infant that dies for unknown reason and an infant that suffocates.
BFP#5 11/15/14, Team Caved, couldn't wait... its a girl EDD 7/22/15
BFP#4 4/30/13, baby girl born med-free Jan 2014
BFP#3 9/24/12, Missed m/c at 9w1d
BFP#2 9/23/10, baby girl born med-free June 2011
BFP#1 5/21/10, Missed m/c at 10w4d, D&C 6/29/10
I also don't like being pregnant. I would give anything for the stork to deliver me a child. I'm having major body image issues that I can't manage to get over. (I say this as I munch on the chocolatiest trail mix known to man.) The thought of my body changing/gaining weight has me terrified, and I know I can't do anything about it, and I know that's what my body is supposed to do, but I have 30+ years of culturally pressured gender-based body norms that I have never met pushing down on me and it's really difficult to just turn that off.
BFP#5 11/15/14, Team Caved, couldn't wait... its a girl EDD 7/22/15
BFP#4 4/30/13, baby girl born med-free Jan 2014
BFP#3 9/24/12, Missed m/c at 9w1d
BFP#2 9/23/10, baby girl born med-free June 2011
BFP#1 5/21/10, Missed m/c at 10w4d, D&C 6/29/10
I did CIO with DD. I think me being a sleep deprived parent to her is more cruel than CIO. Cause, trust me. Me on no sleep is BAD.
Agree 1000% it was much better for me to let DS CIO than to keep parenting the way I was. The lack of sleep and DH only being home every other week made my PPD/ppa so much worse and it wasn't fair to anyone. I would have loved to never let him cry, but after 7m of him sleeping for no longer than 1-2hrs at a time it got to the point where it was necessary. I didn't trust myself to drive at that point because I was so exhausted, I had no family to help, and I was afraid to be alone with him because of the poor mental state I was in. He still woke 2-3x a night, but it was tolerable after sleep training and getting a semi decent stretch of sleep.
CIO was awesome for us. Although it was hard and I cried the first few nights along with him, he has been an excellent sleeper since then. i think 2-3 nights of crying for less than an hour is worth a lifetime of him being able to sttn or put himself back to sleep. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. More sleep FTW!
Post by chelseamp11 on Jan 22, 2015 16:18:54 GMT -5
Yeah CIO saved us as well. I was losing it. Granted we moreso did a Ferber CIO type of thing (basically going in in longer and longer increments) but it worked fabulously.
CIO was awesome for us. Although it was hard and I cried the first few nights along with him, he has been an excellent sleeper since then. i think 2-3 nights of crying for less than an hour is worth a lifetime of him being able to sttn or put himself back to sleep. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. More sleep FTW!
I remember talking to someone about this and she said her parents didn't believe in CIO and to this day, as an adult, has a hard time falling asleep.
I don't like marshmallows. They are OK melted in a rice krispie treat only. But smores or marshmallow cereal? Ew. Tastes like a chemical to me. Pass the chocolate, please.
Me neither- I am always super dissapointed when I bite into something chocolate covered and there is a marshmellow contaminating the inside.
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