Welcoming Second Child

[theBeeMama]

I know we have opportunities to ask STMs questions, but I am a STM this time around and I have some questions for the mommas who have already been through the transition of welcoming baby #2 into the family.

My son is almost two, and I have found myself getting very emotional and concerned about how he'll hold up (and how I'll hold up!) through the process of our world expanding here in the next month or so. He is very bright, and I have tried my best to prepare him without confusing or overwhelming him since he is young.

I'm just looking for general advice and wisdom, and if anyone has any suggestions on resources (books or videos or toys, etc.) that help prepare an only child to become big brother or sister (that would be age appropriate for my 22-month-old) I would be very appreciative.

If anyone else has questions for the pros, please join in and ask away!

[islandgirl14]

I'm glad you asked this! We are in the same boat (G will be 2 in a few weeks), and I find myself worrying about the same thing. I'm so worried he won't understand why our time is being taken away from him (to a certain extent)! I'm curious to see what advice will come!

[noeliav]

Here to learn/listen, too

[wegrowsheep]

DD was 22 months when DS arrived, and we had a book about being a big sister/welcoming baby that we read to her a lot. I'm not sure how much she grasped, but she was pretty happy with having a baby around. She gave up her pacifiers around that time (they are for babies...although DS wouldn't take one), stopped napping 2 months later (thought I would die), and was overall pretty chill about it. Which was good, because DS was a fussy screamer with thrush and an aversion to my chocolate habit.

My adjustment to 2 was way tougher, lol. No more napping when baby naps, unless all the doors are locked and Curious George is babysitting! They shared a room. DD slept through brother's screaming too. She adjusted quite well.

They are the best of buddies now!

ETA: Also, I tried to make DD a priority whenever I had a spare moment, aka baking cookies, coloring with "big girl markers," etc...

[lalamomma]

I've been reading websites and talking to friends. DD is 3.5 and I think she realized I'm having a baby but doesn't understand what it means. I know she will be jealous so I'm trying to help her with expressing emotions in a good way.
We plan to have her come to the hospital with a gift for the baby, but have the baby in the nursery when she arrives so she can have a few minutes with mommy first THEN we will get the baby.

Then when the baby comes home he will bring her a gift.

We have talked about ways she can help, and even moved her rocking chair in the room beside mine so she can rock with us I'm trying to include her and make her feel important any way I can.

[noeliav]

DD told me to get out of bed this morning (we bedshare).

There's quite a bit of "no, mama. Only Daddy." going on in our house right now, and I'm trying to prepare myself for that to get worse.

[alayne926]

Following this as well...

[redlipz]

My daughter was short of a year and a half when my son was born and I was worried as well.

We went ahead and bought her a present from the baby for when she met him for the first time. After baby was born and cleaned up, we brought her in and I was holding my son and had the present on my legs. At first she showed a lot more interest in the present and was distant from her brother but she quickly started to be curious and even started getting a little protective.

We also made sure that whoever came to visit would pay attention to her first and congratulate her on becoming a big sister so that she wouldn't feel left out and so she would feel important in the situation.

Another thing we made sure to do was involve her in any little thing we could. We would ask her to bring diapers and wipes or little toys or sing to baby while we changed him and praise her for her help saying how helpful she was.

That was also when she started potty training so that was her own thing she had going too which was great so everything wouldn't just be baby baby baby.

[tatersalad]

May 21, 2015 10:20:58 GMT -5 wegrowsheep said:

DD was 22 months when DS arrived, and we had a book about being a big sister/welcoming baby that we read to her a lot. I'm not sure how much she grasped, but she was pretty happy with having a baby around. She gave up her pacifiers around that time (they are for babies...although DS wouldn't take one), stopped napping 2 months later (thought I would die), and was overall pretty chill about it. Which was good, because DS was a fussy screamer with thrush and an aversion to my chocolate habit.

My adjustment to 2 was way tougher, lol. No more napping when baby naps, unless all the doors are locked and Curious George is babysitting! They shared a room. DD slept through brother's screaming too. She adjusted quite well.

They are the best of buddies now!

ETA: Also, I tried to make DD a priority whenever I had a spare moment, aka baking cookies, coloring with "big girl markers," etc...

So I just told my husband your two under two shared a room from the get go. I've got room in the guest room for a crib but we are tempted to just set up both boys together from the start instead of moving them in together around 6 months. DS is 2 1/2. Are we insane to think about rooming them together from the get go?

[silv3rlining]

May 21, 2015 14:44:57 GMT -5 tatersalad said:

May 21, 2015 10:20:58 GMT -5 wegrowsheep said:

DD was 22 months when DS arrived, and we had a book about being a big sister/welcoming baby that we read to her a lot. I'm not sure how much she grasped, but she was pretty happy with having a baby around. She gave up her pacifiers around that time (they are for babies...although DS wouldn't take one), stopped napping 2 months later (thought I would die), and was overall pretty chill about it. Which was good, because DS was a fussy screamer with thrush and an aversion to my chocolate habit.

My adjustment to 2 was way tougher, lol. No more napping when baby naps, unless all the doors are locked and Curious George is babysitting! They shared a room. DD slept through brother's screaming too. She adjusted quite well.

They are the best of buddies now!

ETA: Also, I tried to make DD a priority whenever I had a spare moment, aka baking cookies, coloring with "big girl markers," etc...

So I just told my husband your two under two shared a room from the get go. I've got room in the guest room for a crib but we are tempted to just set up both boys together from the start instead of moving them in together around 6 months. DS is 2 1/2. Are we insane to think about rooming them together from the get go?

We're planning on putting LO in DSs (almost 22 months) room from the get go (at least until we move this summer-then it will depend on of we have a 3 or 4 bdrm house). If it's a huge disaster we'll bring LO in our room.

[wegrowsheep]

tatersalad If it works, then awesome. If not, then you have the option of separation Granted, DS was in our room for the first little while (couple weeks), but other than that, we didn't have any other options.