TTC Check-In (May 25)

[wittyandwaiting]

Good Morning All and Happy Memorial Day weekend to our American TTCers and their families!

Tell us where you are, milestones, big deals, small wins, gripes, whatever you want to share.

**If you have a BFP to share- start a new thread so we can all celebrate with you, please don't post it here!!**


Roll Call:
RM80
mahler5
wittyandwaiting
esquette
kona
Stringy
shemarie82
bmorecharming
03mrstn
luckypanda
dannigirl
jazibel

QOTW: With the summer kick off long weekends (almost) behind us (in North America) what are you most looking forward to this summer?

On a TTC note, how do you and your partner check-in and take care of each other during the TTC adventure?

[Stringy]

Well this is a sad weekend huh.

I don't have my period yet so I'll test again today but have about zero optimism. I don't feel like wasting my day off for a beta.

I'm on to IVF, but I don't have mental energy right now to write all my fears and questions about it.

[mahler5]

We were pretty bummed Saturday about the bfn but went to a adult party last night which was lots of fun. It was nice to get our minds off of everything.

We are both even more frustrated now than before that we didn't get genetic testing done. Our RE didn't bring it up to us again since last fall and we forgot to ask about it after the ER in April and got caught up in our great embryo count etc.

So, we have 2 failed ETs now ( one fresh one frozen). We have 6 embryos left (3 extended
blasts, one blast, and 2 grade 2). We are thinking of asking our RE to thaw all of them and genetically test, then re freeze. There aren't a lot of studies on this but the few I read about on the internet say that it does not affect the implantation rate. We may even tell them to go ahead and put in the best looking one and then just refreeze the rest.

I'm not sure our RE is going to go for this. But I do not want to go through 5 more FETs. If this was our only option, then bring it on. But we can always try IUIs with my eggs, or even IVF with my eggs too. L already said she is not doing another ER. Plus, FETs are expensive.

Do you all think this sounds crazy? L is 37 so her eggs are a bit older, so the percentage of abnormal could be potentially higher.

I'm supposed to call and schedule another consult tomorrow with our RE. It's just so hard to schedule around L's schedule.





QOTW-- we are going to LA at end of July to see my brother play in the world special Olympics. A lot of my family is going. Plus, I used to live there in college and haven't been back for 13 years. So I'm excited on many levels. L is really excited about the beach.

I think we could do better at checking in with each other. I was surprised how upset L was Saturday. I feel like in many ways she is removed from the process since I am the one going to all the appointments and it's not her body. Like I was pretty sure it was a bfn but she still had hope. And I think she is a little irritated I POAS but I don't want to be completely devastated all at once. We were both in bad moods Saturday and caught ourselves being snippy with each other. We spent some quality time together after C went to bed and talked through some stuff, so that was good.

[cetcar]

Mahler- You're not crazy at all to be asking more about the testing. It's totally reasonable to not want to go through more FETs than necessary. The genetic testing, while not 100%, will greatly improve your odds, especially with age maybe being a factor. Our RE almost mandates it for that age. We did it, and CAR is 30, and still about 25% of ours weren't genetically viable. For us, the testing cost roughly the amount of one FET, so that helped with the decision.

Good luck, don't be afraid to be your own advocate here. This is stressful enough! Good luck, thinking of you!!

[JustJudy]

I'm going to jump in here.

I'm in my 5th TWW. This round we switched donors, I did a deprivation tank float Tuesday, acupuncture W/Th/F, at home ICI instead of IUI at the clinic, and relaxed the entire weekend. So far this cycle has been much less stressful overall.

QOTW: We already took our big vacation of the year in April but I'm hoping to get a few weekend getaways in this summer to the coast and the Gorge for some hiking.

We both work crazy schedules (I'm a Realtor and J is a restaurant manager) so we try and enjoy one full day off together a week. We're really good about talking on the phone and texting to check in though and that's really important to both of us. I'm a little more A type when it come to the TTC process though so J tries to focus mostly on getting me to relax and I keep her in the loop about big things.

[esquette]

Welp. It's pretty quiet around here, still waiting for July. I have been temping and charting (see my siggy) and fertility friend says that it can't detect a bi-phasic pattern, and can't confidently predict that I've been ovulating. There's definitely a dip, but not a huge rise afterward. I'm going in for my annual exam on Thursday with my OB and I'm going to ask some pre-TTC questions (can you think of any to add?):
-Can I keep taking my meds?
-If not, should I start tapering off them now?
-Is there any test that my doctor can justify for insurance that would tell us if I'm ovulating?
-If I get a positive HPT, when should I come in to the doctor?
-Are my risks for ectopic pregnancy actually high, as my surgeon said? If so, how do we watch out for that? I'd really like to keep the tube I've got left.

QOTW: We just booked tickets to Vegas for the Star Trek convention in August. I've never been, and Sweetie really wants to take me. We also hope that it'll be a lot harder to go pretty soon! (Sweetie remains convinced that we'll get knocked up right away. I wish I shared her optimism.)

In terms of communicating, we aren't in the thick of TTC yet, so we'll see how it gets when the tensions run higher. Right now, we've been having our weekly Kid Talks, where we make a point of checking in with each other, even if nothing has changed. We also talk when it comes up during other times too, obviously, but it's nice to make a point of checking in.

[wittyandwaiting]

All the feels, rants, raves and more. I think I'm becoming that ranty girl. Sorry...,rant behind the spoiler. I'm okay if you pass on reading it, I understand that sometimes negativity can be contagious.

SPOILER: Click to show

I'm tired and frustrated. I'm physically healthy, my hormone levels are great, my cycle is like clockwork: every 28 days and AF usually arrives between 10am and Noon, my uterus is beautiful (weirdest compliment ever) and I regularly produce 1-2 nice follicles each month, my lining is lovely and my BMI is normal, I've had a healthy pregnancy in the past and I do all the things: acupuncture, pineapple, fertili-tea, decaf, a ton of veggies, whole milk, the hokey pokey, avoid hot baths or showers, etc., etc., etc. I'd say that sounds like bragging but I'm not pregnant so to me it feels like a million reasons why I'm failing at this TTC process; I feel pretty broken.

I feel pretty selfish ranting here or anywhere because I am privileged to have an amazing 13 year old, where others haven't had the opportunity to be a mom at all. The thing is, I love C like crazy and I want this for her and for us; I want her to get to be a mom right from the beginning.

C wants to keep going for 3 more IUI's so that we are not dealing with IVF stuff over the summer when we have a ton of plans and it's hard for her to take time off work and there would be things that she would need to be there for....I want to go right to IVF - right now! She'd really like to keep going at IUI's until the government funding for IVF comes out but it could be as early as this fall or as late as January 2016 and even then, they haven't announced what the eligibility criteria would be and therefore we don't know if we would be eligible.

I feel like I am over IUI's, I feel like I've done all the things, have waited patiently (and sometimes impatiently) and that in this case the odds are just not working in our favour.

Thank you all for being so wonderful and letting me get that all out.

So we compromised.... Or delayed....

We're going to do a super medicated IUI this month, with a crapload of GonalF, progesterone during the two-week wait, trigger shot, acupuncture, all the pineapple, all the tea, all the freaking everything! We were even thinking of doing back to back IUI's but we're on our last unit with our donor which would mean that we would have to go with our Plan B donor and it looks like there's only one left of him and it would be kind of weird to back to back with 2 different donors, and if it did work out....we really wouldn't know anything about which sample was the successful one. Or fraternal twins from different donors. Kind of weird?!?
Today I've got 29 antral follicles and a GonalF pen in my hand so I'm going to approach this cycle with tons of optimism and hope for the best.

QOTW: This summer I'm looking forward to some really laid back time off; I have quite a bit of vacation time accumulated so I'm hoping to spend many of those days at the beach.

In terms of checking in, we need to improve here. We talk a lot but to be honest, sometimes I don't think I do a good job of considering the impact on C, especially when she can't be there for everything. We do small acts of love, kindness and support but I think we could both use more opportunities to talk about our feelings.

Edited way after posting to add the spoiler and tidy up a few words.

[wittyandwaiting]

esquette - Here are a few questions that I think might be worthwhile to ask:

Should you be starting a prenatal vitamin?

Does your doctor recommend additional folic acid?

If you are okay to take your meds while TTC will you be expected to stop once you conceive or at a certain point during your pregnancy?

Stringy - sorry that it's looking like this month is BFN for you too! What are your next steps in terms of moving towards IVF? Any idea how soon you'll be able to start?

mahler5 - I don't think it sounds crazy at all! Good luck and keep us posted!

JustJudy - welcome to the check in! I'll definitely keep my fingers crossed for you. When do you test?

[JustJudy]

wittyandwaiting, I'm super regular so I shouldn't test, but I always end up testing around 12po anyway. That would be June 1 this cycle. I feel the same way about this whole process, it's frustrating! I haven't been pregnant but all my tests are "normal" and I'm only 30 so I feel like I should be pregnant by now.

esquette, Ask to have a progesterone blood test done at 7 days post ovulation, not CD21 because not everyone has a 28 day cycle. None of my fertility stuff is covered but that test was only $130ish I believe. I'm on Prozac, tried to taper off and it was a no go, so my doc said it's safer to stay on and stay healthy then try to come off if my body isn't ready. GL!

[RM80]

So many crummy bfn's this month. I'm sorry to all

wittyandwaiting, sounds like you have a good plan this month, and hopefully all the gonal-f is all you need to get MORE targets (eggs) for the sperm to hit! And I know it might be weird to have two donors doing back to back, but it might be kind of cool too especially if you ended up with twins one from each! But it's a lot to weigh. Wishing you all the luck this cycle.

Stringy, good luck on the transfer to IVF this month. Did you find out if you can jump right in or need a month off?

mahler5, agree, not crazy at all to ask for testing and see what your doctor thinks is possible. I hope it works out and they are able to do it for you!

esquette, getting so close! Good luck this week! I think you should be able to get quite a bit of at least your blood work testing covered if you have decent insurance. I have no coverage for IUI's or IVF, but all my pre-testing was covered by my insurance. I hope you can get started soon!

JustJudy, Welcome & good luck this TWW. Curious- deprivation tank float?! tell me more!!


As for me- Nothing new. Waiting on AF to arrive, probably this week (took last active birth control pill yesterday). I hope my cyst is gone or at the very least, much smaller. Honestly- I'm kind of done, see my 'feels' post from last week I think it was... But my heart isn't in it anymore, I'm going through the motions on this last one, so I can say I did it. I have zero expectations and maybe that's a good thing. I will be thrilled if it works, but if it doesn't I'm already prepared for it and ready to move on.

QOTW: This summer, I am looking forward to more things in my life getting settled like kids- yes/no , moving- yes/no, my job... etc. I feel like we've been stalled for a while and its time to more forward again.

As for taking car of each other, I think we do OK, we communicate pretty regularly about things. I was pretty affected by our loss, but my wife less so, so that's been hard. For example, we discussed the other day a trip we were planning in July with some friends and I wasn't sure I wanted to go b/c it was at the same time as our EDD and I wasn't sure how I would feel. It hadn't even occurred to her, nor did she think it should bother me... But as for TTC, we do pretty good and talk frequently. I'm sure we could do better- always room to improve!

[JustJudy]

RM80, It was my first time and I really hope to do it again soon. Float info That's the website for where I went and it can describe it much better than I can. The first 20-30 min I just got used to not having any gravity holding me back. Then at some point I fell asleep and woke up 5 minutes before my session was over. I used the open pool bc it seemed better for a first time experience. There is something supremely relaxing about floating in the dark and quiet, I get why people rave about it now. 

[RM80]

May 26, 2015 9:47:30 GMT -5 JustJudy said:

RM80, It was my first time and I really hope to do it again soon. Float info That's the website for where I went and it can describe it much better than I can. The first 20-30 min I just got used to not having any gravity holding me back. Then at some point I fell asleep and woke up 5 minutes before my session was over. I used the open pool bc it seemed better for a first time experience. There is something supremely relaxing about floating in the dark and quiet, I get why people rave about it now. 

Interesting... I'm not sure my claustrophobia would allow me to do that!!

[crazyaunt84]

Hi there - it's me...Crazy.

First off - I'm sorry to see some familiar faces here. I was hoping to jump back into a thread with all newbies because the rest of you had gotten BFPs.

That being said - there are some newbies - so I'll do a quick re-intro. I'm CrazyAunt - currently the crazy aunt to a perfect 16 month old niece, and a nephew that is due to join us on Thursday! My wife and I have been together 10 years, married 3 years this summer. We've done 4 at home ICI's and 5 IUI's at the clinic - all BFN's. Testing showed no problems, but they recommended IVF.

Both of us got second jobs, and the process got delayed over and over again for a myriad of reasons (money being pretty high on that list). I needed some distance to collect myself, and I disappeared from here for awhile.

Well, the money for the down payment is in the bank, and the clinic called in my prescriptions on Friday. All systems are go for a July cycle. I'm hoping to rejoin you all if you'll have me

[wittyandwaiting]

Welcome back crazyaunt84!

[RM80]

May 26, 2015 11:16:00 GMT -5 crazyaunt84 said:

Hi there - it's me...Crazy.

First off - I'm sorry to see some familiar faces here. I was hoping to jump back into a thread with all newbies because the rest of you had gotten BFPs.

That being said - there are some newbies - so I'll do a quick re-intro. I'm CrazyAunt - currently the crazy aunt to a perfect 16 month old niece, and a nephew that is due to join us on Thursday! My wife and I have been together 10 years, married 3 years this summer. We've done 4 at home ICI's and 5 IUI's at the clinic - all BFN's. Testing showed no problems, but they recommended IVF.

Both of us got second jobs, and the process got delayed over and over again for a myriad of reasons (money being pretty high on that list). I needed some distance to collect myself, and I disappeared from here for awhile.

Well, the money for the down payment is in the bank, and the clinic called in my prescriptions on Friday. All systems are go for a July cycle. I'm hoping to rejoin you all if you'll have me

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! So glad to see you back! IVF here you come!!

[dannigirl]

7dpiui for us.
Nothing much happening here other then trying to not read into everything this time around. We both feel better about this round, but I don't want to get my hopes up too much..

So far I've had a few distractions that are getting me through... I'm planning our 3 week vacation, I had an ingrown hair that made me think I was going die.. lol so that kept me occupied, and there is a massive 17,000 hectare forest fire burning about 40km North of us, so that's had my attention since it started on the 22nd.

QOTW: I'm looking forward to our vacation. We are going to drive to the east coast to celebrate Jo's father and brothers birthdays. We are throwing them a big 60th/30th party. So we are driving to Ontario to pick my mom, then driving to Nova Scotia. I haven't been on an vacation with my mom since I was about 12... So I'm really looking forward to spending time with her, and seeing Jo's family. I haven't seen our niece and nephew in a good 2 1/2 years.

[esquette]

Had my annual today and asked my doctor lots of questions. For some reason, I want to post answers here. Feel free to ignore. Doctor wants me to stay on my anti-depressant. She says that it's low risk, and there's more risk to pregnancy associated with actually being depressed and/or anxious. But, she wants me to call a neurologist because my anti-headache medicine is class D and isn't really working well anymore anyway. She gave me a bag full of pre-natal vitamin samples to try. She said that since my periods are regular, she's not worried about my ovulating. And finally, in terms of ectopic pregnancy, she said to just call when we get our BFP and the blood-work will show us what's up.

Suddenly, it all seems so possible again.

[kona]

esquette I'm glad you got some answers and are feeling optomistic again!

[dannigirl]

9dpiui and I had a tiny stringy piece of fresh blood on the TP when I wiped. I've checked several times after and it's gone from nothing, to pink spotting, to nothing.... Having lots of cramping since the spotting started.

I know I'm in the prime time for IB. But I am so worried it's AF showing up almost a week early.

If she comes a week early that means my cycle is very messed up and we might need to take a couple months off.

I really hope it's IB!

[wittyandwaiting]

May 28, 2015 22:46:03 GMT -5 esquette said:

Had my annual today and asked my doctor lots of questions. For some reason, I want to post answers here. Feel free to ignore. Doctor wants me to stay on my anti-depressant. She says that it's low risk, and there's more risk to pregnancy associated with actually being depressed and/or anxious. But, she wants me to call a neurologist because my anti-headache medicine is class D and isn't really working well anymore anyway. She gave me a bag full of pre-natal vitamin samples to try. She said that since my periods are regular, she's not worried about my ovulating. And finally, in terms of ectopic pregnancy, she said to just call when we get our BFP and the blood-work will show us what's up.

Suddenly, it all seems so possible again.

I think it's great that you posted your answers here, your answers could help somebody else out.

Happy to hear that you're feeling awesome about it all!

[wittyandwaiting]

May 29, 2015 22:35:19 GMT -5 dannigirl said:

9dpiui and I had a tiny stringy piece of fresh blood on the TP when I wiped. I've checked several times after and it's gone from nothing, to pink spotting, to nothing.... Having lots of cramping since the spotting started.

I know I'm in the prime time for IB. But I am so worried it's AF showing up almost a week early.

If she comes a week early that means my cycle is very messed up and we might need to take a couple months off.

I really hope it's IB!

I'm definitely keeping my fingers crossed for you! When do you test again?

[wittyandwaiting]

Hello all, I've been AWOL this week since I've had a major migraine. I had a ton of stuff that needed to be done at work, and I'm in the process of applying for a new, more senior position so I didn't really feel like I could take time off to recover so I basically just pushed through it feeling like there was a fire happening inside of my head. Last night the migraine finally broke. I am so grateful.

Anyway, I'm CD8 today and I have two follicles happening on the left side that are measuring at 11 and 15 today. They have increased my dose of Gonal-F from 62.5 to 75 and are hoping to get 2 to 3 big, fat, juicy follicles this cycle. I also have a teeny tiny cyst on my right ovary but they're not worried about it because my estrogen is exactly where it should be.

I'm not sure why, but I've got some really nasty looking bruises from the injections this month. Anyway just thought I'd share an update after being MIA for a bit.

[dannigirl]

Well.... Looks like we are once again out.
Blood is flowing pretty good at this point. I'm to test Thursday, so I'm over 5 days early! What the..

I don't get it. I've never started this early before. I really hope my fall during baseball yesterday didnt cause this. It wasn't that bad of a fall. I tripped and landed on my knees. It was a jolt, but nothing major.

I don't understand what is going on with my body!
Two months ago my period was 3 days early before our first try, last month I was a day early and this month I'm over 6 days early is seems as I shouldn't really start my period till Sunday, but because I ovulated early it would come sooner, but not this soon! Ugh...

I emailed out clinic... I wonder if we are trying too soon after Baby Girls birth in Dec? Maybe we need to take the summer off and start trying again in the fall??

I just want to curl up in a ball and cry the day away..

[wittyandwaiting]

dannigirl. That sucks, really sorry to hear that AF arrived early, actually I'm sorry that AF arrived at all. I'm not sure exactly what the uses for progesterone are but my understanding is that one use of it is for people who have a shorter luteal phase of their cycle. Perhaps it's worth mentioning to your doctor.

I had one of those cry the day away days last Saturday and it was actually pretty amazing, I think I needed to get out a lot of pent up TTC feels. Do what you need to do to take care of you.

[dannigirl]

Thank you.
I actually emailed our clinic and asked about progesterone.

I think for sure we won't be trying another IUI with this cycle since it's so messed up. Maybe in June? Or maybe I'll just drink myself stupid over the summer and drown my sorrows? Though I doubt that since I'm not a heavy drinker and hate hangovers.

We will see what the Dr says and then go from there. We felt so good about this cycle too. Ah well.. Not much can be done once AF shows her ugly face. I'm sick of being strong, and rational.. I just want to have a fit? You know? Just get it all out and break things. lol
I know that's counter productive as I would have to clean it up and over dramatic since this is o my our 2nd BFN. But you would hope that the universe would be nice and help a girl out after going through a stillbirth? And I mean that for all of us that have dealt with stillbirths and miscarriages.

Screw you universe!

[mahler5]

wittyandwaiting -- glad the follicles look good so far!

dannigirl-- sorry to hear AF arrived. When we did IUIs I remember having a period that was 5 days early, which was really odd for me. I remember thinking maybe my body rejected an embryo, causing it to start early. I don't remember if I read that somewhere or just made it up in my head as an explanation. Anyway, it sucks.

We met with our RE. We are going to do genetic testing on our 6 remaining embryos. We have to wait until their genetic testing guy is there in a few weeks. So we will take this cycle off. I hate taking cycles off but it doesnt make sense to take meds now when we don't know the results. If by chance they are all abnormal then it would be a waste of meds. Part of me is excited to have a break from the meds.

The RE was fine with doing testing even though we have to thaw and refreeze. He said it may cause a 5% decrease in implantation rate on average but we are ok with that. We don't want to do 5-6 more cycles without knowing the results.