Med Free Monday (5/25)

[Deleted]

How's it going, med free ladies?

Anything new to report?
Symptoms/strategies?
Concerns? Fears?

[teenybird]

I'm starting to feel a little like my hopes for a med-free birth are one finger-stroke away from a flush down the toilet. I know I told myself that I would go into birth without big expectations, especially given how roller coaster-y pregnancy has been...but I'm starting to feel a bit miffed/whatever the opposite of empowered is (words aren't working for me this morning, apparently).

In the past week or so, the MWs have been throwing around the I word (induction) a lot more frequently. I understand why and appreciate their caution, but reading other mamas' stories about their inductions and about the increased pain from pit contractions/increased risk for c-section, I'm starting to wonder if pain med-free is still going to be manageable.

In my head, I'm still visualizing a med free birth, and DH is still helping me with relaxation and some counter-pressure techniques. However, I'm also starting to write down a huge list of questions to ask the MWs if/when they decide that I do need to be induced (e.g. To what extent can we control the pace of an induced labor? Or: Can the pit drip be turned down or turned off if my body seems to be responding and progressing on its own?).

My overall strategy right now is to think about ways to maintain as much control as possible so I don't go through this birth feeling complacent and/or scared. Fear definitely translates to bodily tension for me, which in turn can cause more physical discomfort.

I'm also trying to remind myself that there are definitely mamas who go through induced labor without pain meds - so it is totally possible. I'm reminding myself that the reality is simple: Labor hurts, whether it's induced or spontaneous. Since I'm a FTM and don't have another labor to compare it to, I'm trying to remind myself that the mental/physical preparation is still the same: Prepare for the ouch factor, use those coping skills, and do your best.

I can't find the link right now, but I also read an article on Scary Mommy about one mama's med free birth. Two of her coping techniques really stood out to me, though I'm not quite sure how I feel about them haha: She said she imagined that there was no such thing as an epidural, and she also tried to visualize the worst pain imaginable for her (like a limb being ripped off) and using that as a way to put the labor pain in perspective/make it seem less awful. The first one seems a lot more reasonable to me, but to each her own!

[carolyngrace]

What's going on that they may need to induce, teenybird,? If you said so elsewhere I missed it...

I'm a little freaked out by how confident I'm feeling going into my med-free birth. I keep telling myself that something could happen where I'll need an induction, of a c-section, etc, because I don't want to be OVERLY confident. But I guess I should embrace feeling good and confident at this point, right?

Just trying to get last minute things done around the house, and pack our birthing bag, in case this baby surprises everyone and comes early. At this point he feels pretty comfy in there, and I'm not miserable yet, so I feel like I'll at least go to 40 weeks.

[Deleted]

I'm also a little freaked out by how calm I feel about this. I just keep visualizing birth and my coping techniques and staying focused on that. I know it isn't going to be rainbows and unicorns but I just keep reminding myself that in the vast majority of healthy pregnancies, intervention isn't needed and we are designed to do this. I added EPO and RRL tea to my repertoire this week, not to induce (neither will induce you if your body/baby isn't ready) but just to help prep my body and, hopefully, make things smoother when it does start. My acupuncturist/doula also changed her protocol to labor prep. I'll be doing appointments 2x a week with her from now until the end and she'll gradually evolve each session into labor encouragement/induction as we roll into 40 weeks, if we even go that far. We'll see tomorrow if I've still continued to progress from last week's 3.5cm/80%.

There's really nothing more for me to do at this point than just stay positive and practice daily meditation and hypnosis techniques. I'm so ready to meet this little man in the next few weeks.

[ThePalindromicOne]

While I haven't been committed to a med-free child birth, I do want to do what I can to avoid a c-section. My OB suggested I labor as long as I can at home to assist with delaying epidural (if I decide to get one, undecided at this point). I'm totally cool with this, but I'm worried my hubs is gonna be a little trigger happy about getting to the hospital. I mean, we live 3 miles from the hospital... I think we'll make it in time! So that's my biggest challenge right now I think...

[carolyngrace]

ThePalindromicOne, It seems like going in too early is one of the biggest and most common "mistakes" women make. You will most likely NOT have your baby in the car if you wait as long as possible

I live 2 miles from my birthing center and they've told me that I can always leave and go back home (assuming all looks well) if I get checked and am less than 4 or 5 cm. That made me feel better because I don't know how I'll handle the pain and might think I'm further along than I actually am. Another cool perk is that while you're in labor there you can leave and go on walks around the block! Assuming you can still walk

[dogmama22]

I'm feeling pretty confident in my skills/ strategies at this point. As with many of you, I'm just concerned about one intervention leading to another. I'm trying to stay open minded and make sure my baby arrives safely. Last night I was having some really mild contractions so I just practiced some of my strategies for the experience and they were really helpful in taking my mind off the discomfort.

[bruunk]

I'm feeling blah - so uncomfortable. Def. cramping and lots of BH (which I'm hoping are doing something!). At this point I'm worried I'm going to want to just not have anyone around me. Anytime DH asks are you having a cramp with big scared eyes, I get annoyed with him... Little worried about that. The biggest goal I have right now is stay at home as long as possible. I keep reading stories that talk about transition being the worst part, so I keep reminding myself that it's going to get worse but that's good! And that this isn't "bad" pain - I haven't broken a bone or been injured so there's no need to fear it. We'll see.

[mathistm]

I'm definitely jealous of you ladies who live so close to where you are giving birth! Our hospital is about 40 mins away-there are hospitals in between but none that I ever want to be in due to really scary stories of incompetence!
Nothing really new to report-I've been having some bh contractions and just practicing dealing with the discomfort.
I had a sinus infection all last week so I practiced a lot of pain management with all of the stupid sinus pain and pressure I was having. I'm almost positive I am cutting a wisdom tooth. When I was at the dentist last before pregnancy for X-rays they said they were there but I could wait to get them taken out. Now I wish I would have done it before because it will be at least another month before I am able to.
So pretty much dealing with these other pains is helping me cope with labor pains I hope!

[baileybaileybne]

@ mathistm I'm similar to you: hospital is about 40 minutes away. I'm actually hoping that prevents me from rushing in and going too early because I don't want to be sent home if it's such a long way there and back!
Maybe it will help me to labour at home for a while longer before I head in there?

[missjenniebean]

May 25, 2015 19:49:35 GMT -5 baileybaileybne said:

@ mathistm I'm similar to you: hospital is about 40 minutes away. I'm actually hoping that prevents me from rushing in and going too early because I don't want to be sent home if it's such a long way there and back!
Maybe it will help me to labour at home for a while longer before I head in there?

It was a definite pro for me. My hospital is about 30-45 depending on traffic. Definitely had me making sure I was serious before heading in.

[Deleted]

We're 7 miles from our hospital and it's anywhere from 10-30 minutes to get there, depending on traffic. If we have to get there during morning rush hour there's just no quick way because we'll have to drive up a major artery, with the traffic, with lots of stop lights, no matter what. Hopefully he'll not get urgent between 7:00-8:30 am.

[flbabychin]

I'm feeling pretty confident as well regarding the birth and my tools for coping. I have my last hypnobirthing class this Thursday, and then it's just about applying the meditations and relaxation strategies. I know @jimbobcooter, you mentioned EPO - which our class instructor also suggested. Are any of you ladies also having DH do perineal massage before the big day? It was definitely suggested, but I've been putting it off.

Our location to the hospital is about 15-20 minutes, longer if it's rush hour. I am definitely going to do all I can to not go into the hospital too early, but I too am not sure how I'll handle the contractions, given I've never been through this before. I've heard the 5-1-1 rule (contractions 5 min apart, 1 min long, for 1 hour) is good for estimating around 4-5cm, but who knows if that is the same for everyone.

[carolyngrace]

flbabychin, That's the hard part, everyone's labor/birth is different! With my sister's first baby her water broke at 8am, and by 10am she was BEGGING to go to the birth center, and they were telling her there was no way she was far enough along. Her baby boy was born at 11:30am! (they got there just in time). So yeah, if I feel like my body is progressing quickly, even if I'm not meeting the 5-1-1 exactly, I'm going in!

[flbabychin]

carolyngrace, that makes total sense to me! I can't believe that things progressed so quickly with your sister on her first labor! That gives me some hope that things aren't always so long and drawn out. And I will be doing the same thing - if things seem to be moving quickly, we'll be heading for the hospital!

[Deleted]

May 25, 2015 20:46:07 GMT -5 flbabychin said:

I'm feeling pretty confident as well regarding the birth and my tools for coping. I have my last hypnobirthing class this Thursday, and then it's just about applying the meditations and relaxation strategies. I know @jimbobcooter, you mentioned EPO - which our class instructor also suggested. Are any of you ladies also having DH do perineal massage before the big day? It was definitely suggested, but I've been putting it off.

Our location to the hospital is about 15-20 minutes, longer if it's rush hour. I am definitely going to do all I can to not go into the hospital too early, but I too am not sure how I'll handle the contractions, given I've never been through this before. I've heard the 5-1-1 rule (contractions 5 min apart, 1 min long, for 1 hour) is good for estimating around 4-5cm, but who knows if that is the same for everyone.

Talk to your doc about this one.   That is the general rule, but my doc has already told me to check in with him at 10-1-1 because he thinks I'm going to go fast once active labor begins.  I am 80% effaced and am at almost 4 cm already and haven't felt any more than BH and maybe a couple of small "real" contractions yet.  So, in theory, once the real ones get started all bets are going to be off. 

We haven't done the perineal massage but I do know that area is getting some benefit from the EPO just because it does run as the capsules dissolve. 

[Deleted]

May 25, 2015 20:59:54 GMT -5 carolyngrace said:

flbabychin, That's the hard part, everyone's labor/birth is different! With my sister's first baby her water broke at 8am, and by 10am she was BEGGING to go to the birth center, and they were telling her there was no way she was far enough along. Her baby boy was born at 11:30am! (they got there just in time). So yeah, if I feel like my body is progressing quickly, even if I'm not meeting the 5-1-1 exactly, I'm going in!

I completely agree. I followed the rule 5-1-1. I ended up having irregular contractions ( more like 5 minute then 20 min then 3 min then 1 min then 20 min again. I barely made it to the hospital and was 9cm when I arrived ! I seriously almost had my baby at home in our bathroom.

I want to labor at home again but will not be cutting it that close or following the 5-1-1 since my body just doesn't follow that rule.

[periwinkledaydreams]

How's it going, med free ladies?

I was trying to describe the way that I'm feeling to my mom and sister yesterday. Anxious is not really accurate and I think it is more that I just feel ready with a good bit of impatience and possibly excitement?!? I definitely feel over being pregnant and ready to be relieved of all the crap symptoms I've struggled with, so I know that's part of where the impatience comes from.

Anything new to report? Going in for my anesthesiology consult tomorrow for the just in case events that I would end up anesthetized because I have a history of resistance. Just another reason I hope to avoid epidural/spinal meds and/or c-section.

Symptoms/strategies? Been having crazy cramps and contractions pretty much all week. Been practicing relaxation breathing through them, although trying to make sure I stay aware enough to not miss them turning into real labor if that were to happen! I feel like I'm skating a fine line these days and am really looking forward to my OB appointment on Thursday to clear up some questions about when she would have me call. It is my 36 week appointment and not sure if she will offer a progress check or if I would have even accepted one but now I am kind of interested based on how crampy I have been all week.


Concerns? Fears? Feeling concerned lately about knowing when practice labor suddenly becomes real labor. I want to labor at home as long as possible when it is the real thing but I have read stories about hypnobirthing mamas relaxing right through some pretty real contractions! Many ST+Ms in my life have assured me "When its real, you'll know" but every one has a different "how". So I guess I have some concerns or anxiety as I await my particular "how".

[theBeeMama]

Thank you ladies for your bravery and honesty and encouragement! I'm really grateful for this support system.

So, new things to report: just trying to stay focused on the goal and research enough but not too much! Lol

Symptoms/strategies: symptoms are pretty typical at this point. Back pain, not sleeping great, general discomfort, BH if I drink less than what feels like a ridiculous amount of water every day.

As far as strategies, I am doing more research on the Ina May sphincter log, and also doing a lot of spiritual preparation to get my mind and body synchronized because with DS I was definitely operating out of fight or flight and my right and left brain were both on pause for a good six hours. (Sorry, brain science nerd speaking) A doula I talked to reminded me that pain receptors are sent through your nervous system so that your mind and body are both aware of what's going on, so if you can submit yourself enough to the process and relax both brain and body, the pain receptors will decrease as your body learns to trust that you are okay and you're not fighting the process, but rather giving your whole self over to it.

(Part of me is still just like...that all sounds like a load of crap. I'm pushing out a human from my lady parts. This can't NOT hurt like fiery hell. But I have actually been able to talk to a few med free mamas who have had "virtually pain free" deliveries using prayer and meditation and other spirit/mind/body techniques. So it's worth a shot! Lol)

Lastly, I'm bringing speakers this time to the hospital so I can put on music and I'm also checking up to see if I can bring an essential oils diffuser so I can diffuse lavender and a few others to calm me down. Oh, and also I'm making a written list for dh of things he can do to help with during hard labor so he won't feel as helpless. (I.e. Remember to offer me ice, water, juice, pray with me, talk to me about the baby and remind me of the end goal (last time I completely forgot I was actually having a child by about halfway through and I was honestly taken off guard when they finally laid him on my chest because I had been so shut down and out of touch with reality), massaging my back, and even keeping me distracted if at all possible with news from the "outside world". I told him that all or none of these might actually work in the moment but at least he will have some tasks to fall back on, because I think he was really uncomfortable when DS was born feeling so helpless and seeing me in pain. He ended up kind of withdrawing and I felt really alone for hours.)

Concerns and fears: probably my biggest concern is just regarding transition, because with DS I didn't realize that's what was happening and its when I finally broke down and begged for an epidural. It was just so intense and I don't feel like I have a good strategy for getting through that part.

[Deleted]

May 26, 2015 8:12:47 GMT -5 theBeeMama said:

Thank you ladies for your bravery and honesty and encouragement! I'm really grateful for this support system.

So, new things to report: just trying to stay focused on the goal and research enough but not too much! Lol

Symptoms/strategies: symptoms are pretty typical at this point. Back pain, not sleeping great, general discomfort, BH if I drink less than what feels like a ridiculous amount of water every day.

As far as strategies, I am doing more research on the Ina May sphincter log, and also doing a lot of spiritual preparation to get my mind and body synchronized because with DS I was definitely operating out of fight or flight and my right and left brain were both on pause for a good six hours. (Sorry, brain science nerd speaking) A doula I talked to reminded me that pain receptors are sent through your nervous system so that your mind and body are both aware of what's going on, so if you can submit yourself enough to the process and relax both brain and body, the pain receptors will decrease as your body learns to trust that you are okay and you're not fighting the process, but rather giving your whole self over to it.

(Part of me is still just like...that all sounds like a load of crap. I'm pushing out a human from my lady parts. This can't NOT hurt like fiery hell. But I have actually been able to talk to a few med free mamas who have had "virtually pain free" deliveries using prayer and meditation and other spirit/mind/body techniques. So it's worth a shot! Lol)

Lastly, I'm bringing speakers this time to the hospital so I can put on music and I'm also checking up to see if I can bring an essential oils diffuser so I can diffuse lavender and a few others to calm me down. Oh, and also I'm making a written list for dh of things he can do to help with during hard labor so he won't feel as helpless. (I.e. Remember to offer me ice, water, juice, pray with me, talk to me about the baby and remind me of the end goal (last time I completely forgot I was actually having a child by about halfway through and I was honestly taken off guard when they finally laid him on my chest because I had been so shut down and out of touch with reality), massaging my back, and even keeping me distracted if at all possible with news from the "outside world". I told him that all or none of these might actually work in the moment but at least he will have some tasks to fall back on, because I think he was really uncomfortable when DS was born feeling so helpless and seeing me in pain. He ended up kind of withdrawing and I felt really alone for hours.)

Concerns and fears: probably my biggest concern is just regarding transition, because with DS I didn't realize that's what was happening and its when I finally broke down and begged for an epidural. It was just so intense and I don't feel like I have a good strategy for getting through that part.

YES to both of these!   I want my room to be as close to my doula's acupuncture/massage room... dim lighting, subconscious meditation music, aromatherapy... as possible because that space always helps me calm my mind, meditate, and really go inward to deal with whatever I'm dealing with at the moment.  I just want that association with a place that is calming to me while I labor.   Our hospital provides a CD player in the room but I have the meditation/hypno music I've been using on youtube so we'll probably just play that on my laptop. 

[ladymouse]

May 25, 2015 21:25:19 GMT -5 @jimbobcooter said:

May 25, 2015 20:46:07 GMT -5 flbabychin said:

I'm feeling pretty confident as well regarding the birth and my tools for coping. I have my last hypnobirthing class this Thursday, and then it's just about applying the meditations and relaxation strategies. I know @jimbobcooter, you mentioned EPO - which our class instructor also suggested. Are any of you ladies also having DH do perineal massage before the big day? It was definitely suggested, but I've been putting it off.

Our location to the hospital is about 15-20 minutes, longer if it's rush hour. I am definitely going to do all I can to not go into the hospital too early, but I too am not sure how I'll handle the contractions, given I've never been through this before. I've heard the 5-1-1 rule (contractions 5 min apart, 1 min long, for 1 hour) is good for estimating around 4-5cm, but who knows if that is the same for everyone.

Talk to your doc about this one.   That is the general rule, but my doc has already told me to check in with him at 10-1-1 because he thinks I'm going to go fast once active labor begins.  I am 80% effaced and am at almost 4 cm already and haven't felt any more than BH and maybe a couple of small "real" contractions yet.  So, in theory, once the real ones get started all bets are going to be off. 

We haven't done the perineal massage but I do know that area is getting some benefit from the EPO just because it does run as the capsules dissolve. 

Note about EPO - my old midwife says do not use it if you've had a prior c-section, as it could soften the scar tissue as well as the cervix.  I also saw (can't remember source, sorry) that perineal massage doesn't really affect the rate of tearing when done pre-labor, but does reduce tearing DURING labor.  Which is great to my mind - I'm not sure I can manage the acrobatics to do it myself any more and DH has basically pretended like he can't hear me when I suggest he help with it.

[carolyngrace]

theBeeMama, Sounds like transition is a good time for your DH to be especially helpful. I'm going to talk to mine about this, too. Our birth class touched on it - how typically once the woman starts saying "I can't do this" she's right in transition and nearing the end. A great time for our DHs to be especially encouraging and remind us that we ARE doing it.

Also, the connection between our thoughts & bodily sensations you're talking about reminds me of basic Cognitive Behavioral theory techniques I use in mental health. I genuinely believe people can change their (emotional) feelings using their thoughts, so I guess it's not too much of a stretch to believe we can use our thoughts to influence our bodily sensations as well!

[ladymouse]

Oh. I know it's not Monday, but my midwife reviewed my birth plan today. Said it was VERY good, being just a few short, reasonable points (it's 108 words, including a thanks to anyone reading it. Two of the seven points are basically their standard procedures as well - no IFM, avoiding episiotomies.) Only thing not feasible was my preference of forceps over vacuum extraction, as none of the midwives/OBs are trained with forceps.

[noeliav]

How's it going, med free ladies?
Still here and pregnant! (38w 3d)

Anything new to report?
Had our first NST + U/S appointment last week, and all looks good. Next one is Thurs.

Symptoms/strategies?
Some mild, inconsistent cramping. Mainly when I'm up and about, or later in the evening. Last night, I just could not sit still. DH joked that I was like a tiger in a cage.
I've read through Ina May's birth stories a gazillion times now. I need some new material.

Concerns? Fears?
I'm a leeeeetle worried that he's way too comfortable in there right now. This is the most pregnant I've ever been (as of 4:07am this morning!). It's a bit of a gift-- now I feel that DD arrived right when she was supposed to, as opposed to anything I did or didn't do... on the other hand, I feel like a watched pot. Everyone is all "how are you feeling??" "is he coming yet?" "what do your doctors say? will it be soon?" :: grumble ::

Um. What else? I'm just waiting, waiting. A tiny scared for labor, but more excited than scared, and definitely excited to meet him.

[carolyngrace]

noeliav, I've read all of these birth stories, because they're from people who gave birth at the center I'll be at, but I think they give a good diverse example of "natural birth" experiences! More reading material for you

midwifecenter.org/category/client-story/

(the first one is in spanish, but the rest are english)

[flbabychin]

May 25, 2015 21:25:19 GMT -5 @jimbobcooter said:

May 25, 2015 20:46:07 GMT -5 flbabychin said:

I'm feeling pretty confident as well regarding the birth and my tools for coping. I have my last hypnobirthing class this Thursday, and then it's just about applying the meditations and relaxation strategies. I know @jimbobcooter, you mentioned EPO - which our class instructor also suggested. Are any of you ladies also having DH do perineal massage before the big day? It was definitely suggested, but I've been putting it off.

Our location to the hospital is about 15-20 minutes, longer if it's rush hour. I am definitely going to do all I can to not go into the hospital too early, but I too am not sure how I'll handle the contractions, given I've never been through this before. I've heard the 5-1-1 rule (contractions 5 min apart, 1 min long, for 1 hour) is good for estimating around 4-5cm, but who knows if that is the same for everyone.

Talk to your doc about this one.   That is the general rule, but my doc has already told me to check in with him at 10-1-1 because he thinks I'm going to go fast once active labor begins.  I am 80% effaced and am at almost 4 cm already and haven't felt any more than BH and maybe a couple of small "real" contractions yet.  So, in theory, once the real ones get started all bets are going to be off. 

We haven't done the perineal massage but I do know that area is getting some benefit from the EPO just because it does run as the capsules dissolve. 

Good thinking...yeah, I am planning on talking to him tomorrow at our appt. Plus, tomorrow I will have my first cervical check so we'll see where I stand in terms of his thoughts on when the baby will be coming.

As a side note, I hope that means your labor and progression into delivery will be quick and simple, given that you're already to almost 4cm and are having only mild contractions!

[noeliav]

carolyngrace
Thank you I love reading birth stories, but the Ina May ones are over-done for me after 2 pregnancies, lol.

[silv3rlining]

I go back and forth...With DS I was set in med free and after having to be induced (pit and ARM) I ended up getting an epi.

I'd like to go without this time and some days I feel confident I can do it and others not so much. I also considered other pain meds but everything has risks... I feel like if I can go into labor on my own I can manage it without drugs. So I'm hoping to do it. But OB is already talking induction shortly after due date