< : < : Weekly Check In 5/26/15 : > : >

[icequeen]

Good afternoon, y'all.

How are y'all doing this week? Feel free to check in with us and we can all give and receive compassion and support. PM me if you would like to be tagged as a reminder for participation. Also, just a quick reminder, this week there should be a new password for the confidential topics board, but the admin hasn't confirmed that she has changed it yet. Therefore, just sign in with the old password. I'm sorry for the confusion! I hope y'all have a good rest of the week!

flcl, mrsb1008, yoshijo28, @rocknrollfriend, @wallflwr926, @ordinaryamy, runnergirl812, helloamanda, @giamia923, snarkysparklefart, @alleykat05, bluerainfire, sko14, @erin2021, spencer1337, RedDDD

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Please state your diagnosis and/or status:

How is your week going?

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?

Any changes in medication or recent appointments?

GTKY: What is your favorite summer activity?

[icequeen]

FYI the CT password has been changed! PM me for access!

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: anorexia/bulimia nervosa, GAD, PPD, dissociative disorder

How is your week going? Was going ok until today. I just found out that I have a twin pregnancy, but the second twin will not survive. It is one week behind baby 1, and it will just be reabsorbed into my lining. I feel like I am mourning the loss of a child even though I am elated to still have my beautiful, perfect baby 1.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? Struggling with binging and purging, mostly. I am doing well with body image overall and not weighing myself, although the nurse at the office today blatantly told me I gained 6 lbs.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? I've stopped all meds. I have therapy this Thursday.

GTKY: What is your favorite summer activity? Visiting all the state and national parks with DH and DD.

[runnergirl812]

icequeen, Congrats on the baby. I'm sorry about the loss of your twin. I think mourning the loss is natural.

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: GAD

How is your week going? It's going fair. I had a bad day yesterday (negative) that I was able to work through eventually(positive!). The result was that I ended up going home around 10 am from work because I was feeling panic (early sign for me is GI distress and feeling sweaty/heart hurting). I got very little work done at home because I did end up having a panic attack. I worked through it with hypnosis and drinking tea. But I had a residual headache and nausea for awhile.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? Still have the job struggles. The recruiter is still telling me to hang on, so I'm hanging in there waiting. Evidently the private equity company VP has to sign off (email a "YES") to the offer/negotiation. So simple, right? Except he's been in Italy with his daughter for two weeks and has had no access to email. He supposedly is back in the office today, so FX that I hear something by tomorrow. Work is a huge stressor.

A positive is that I got back positive comments on a review draft I had written. Two of the authors both gave me "Great job on the manuscript" feedback. Ironically enough, no positive feedback from my boss or the medical director that I was butting heads with. That tells you the state of affairs and one reason why I need out of here. I feel like no one appreciates my work. But those two authors gave me positive affirmation that I'm NOT an idiot.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? No changes in meds. Had an appt with my psychiatrist last week and after 3 months on meds, she wants me to stay the course. She also recommended seeing my psychologist more than just the once or twice a month I had been going.

GTKY: What is your favorite summer activity? Going to the beach with friends for a huge week-long vacation. It's a lot of chaos, but it's also time to be around my circle and have some PEACE.

[KayVeeKay]

Diagnosis: PPD, seeking treatment and improving

How's the week: I've had some tears this week, but mainly out of anger and frustration (I am one of those people who cries for those emotions too). Lots of determination to go forward and beat this, though, so that's good.

Struggles/accomplishments: I'm no longer struggling with my emotions. I'm positive most of the time, and I feel very motivated to fight for everything that matters.

Meds/appts: I'm still having trouble remembering to take my meds, but it doesn't seem to be affecting my mood. I'm beginning to wonder if I was just in a low spot and overreacted in thinking I needed it. It doesn't matter now, though. I'll have to finish the course of meds regardless. I had an appointment with my counselor yesterday and left feeling so much better about things because she is very supportive. This is the one I've only seen once before, so I'm really glad I've got someone on my side. The jury's out on my psych right now. I guess I'll find out next week when I see her.

GTKY: I love to hike and take photos of all the flora and landscapes.

[KayVeeKay]

icequeen I'm so sorry to hear about the twin. I agree that mourning the loss is natural as you would morn a miscarriage.

runnergirl812 sorry you had a bad day, but I'm glad you were able to work through it. That really seems like a step in the right direction.

[Deleted]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status:
Depression, Anxiety, Paranoia

How is your week going?
Pretty good. Hopefully this week I will get my police check so I can finally be put on the roster for work!
We changed my name last week. It's a great but a slight kink because we have to change my name on all the accounts and such.
I did something to my back on Saturday and was worried it would throw off this week since at first I could hardly bend. Thankfully, my Mom is a PT and suggested McKenzie exercises which have been extremely helpful. Not only am I able to continue doing all the stuff I normally do, but the back pain reminds me how important it is to exercise and vary standing & sitting. I'm grateful for the lack of choice being for my betterment, but of course, I'd still rather not have back pain.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?
Sort of accomplishment? I've begun to realize that just because other people can get more done than me each day, including my H - who's work ethic I've always envied, doesn't mean I've failed by "just doing the dishes" or "just washing the cabinets." Some days are just going to be better than others, and the reality is that I never "just did the dishes", it's just the only work I did that I consider of value.
I'm still struggling with the whole job market. It's probably my own fault for starting to apply to jobs too early, but I'm tuckered out. I'm tired of reading job ads and tailoring resumes and cover letters. H says that I should make a generic ones but that seems so impersonal. Also, it seems impractical given the different types of jobs I apply to. I will take any advice on this y'all have to dish out!

GTKY: What is your favorite summer activity?
I love going for walks. Our walks are how H and I learned about the city we live in when he first moved here. Plus, we have this wonderful boardwalk along the lake.

[RedDDD]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: Depression, Anxiety

How is your week going? Fair. I took yesterday off from work so I could have a day to myself. The plan was....clean the house, get the laundry done, Dr. apt, shop for myself, get some lunch, take a nap and veg on the real housewives...make dinner. What really happened...some laundry got done, the house got cleaned, I went to my Dr apt and then DC called and DS had a fever so I picked him up, went to Target, got home, made a meat loaf, then realized the kid seemed pretty ill so went to the Dr. (diagnosed Strep Throat) picked up his prescription and got ome at 830pm in time to put everyone to bed. Phew...wasn't exactly what I had planned for my day off.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? I struggle with my wine drinking. I really should drink less. But after my day yesterday all I wanted to do was sit down with a huge glass of Pinot and internet shop. Which is what I did. I told myself I wasn't going to drink during the week but Im having a hard time sticking to that. Maybe Im too hard on myself.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? Had my follow up apt with the Dr. yesterday. I have definatley seen improvement in my mood since starting the medication. DH also said he has noticed a difference. I have WAY more control. I don't cry about every damn thing and the best thing is I have been waaay more patient with my kids. I haven't lost my shit on them at all since starting the meds. Which to me, is the best benefit of all. I have had some issues with feeling jittery and had some issues with sleep but I have started taking the meds first thing in the morning and Im going to see how that helps for a week or two.

GTKY: What is your favorite summer activity? Just being able to get outside, the long midwest winters are tough. Having a bonfire, working in my vegetable garden, going out on the river, taking walks.

[bocaburger]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status:
Anxiety, panic, depression

How is your week going?
Ok. This is my first week without a fixed schedule/routine (I'm going very part time with school). I really struggle to manage free time. Yesterday went very well, today less so but I am still in control of my emotions so far, even though I haven't been productive.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?
I'm really struggling with IF right now. I'm due to test on Friday and I have built my hopes up way too high. I'm afraid I'm setting myself up to really fall apart.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments?
I started Zoloft a week ago and doubled the dose today (I am increasing each week for 4 weeks). I'm pretty lethargic today but I don't know if it's related.

GTKY: What is your favorite summer activity?
Being outside!!! I love being able to just go for walks. I love the ocean but don't get to the brach as much as I would like.

[flcl]

icequeen, ((all the hugs))... hang in there

runnergirl812, FX on the job hunt!

KayVeeKay, I'm like you, I cry for a variety of emotions. Glad to hear that you're staying strong and things are looking up

@ordinaryamy, FX for you too on job hunting!

RedDDD, glad that you're such great luck with your treatment and that you're feeling better

bocaburger, good luck on your meds and your IF test Friday!


Please state your diagnosis and/or status:
Depression, anxiety and panic attacks

How is your week going?
It's ok... I'm definitely not feeling great and it's a full time job getting through each day. The great thing about long weekends is short work weeks, right? Tomorrow's Thursday so that's a plus!

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?
Since I'm not feeling the best, I'm really struggling with how irritable things make me. The littlest things throw me off and sends the negative thoughts on a repetitive loop...

Any changes in medication or recent appointments?
Same

GTKY: What is your favorite summer activity?
Being off of work is my favorite!! I used to love traveling and we're hoping to go on our first family vacation this summer

[Deleted]

icequeen: I'm sorry about your pregnancy situation, like runnergirl says, it's only natural to want to mourn a loss, even when you have a wonderful miracle baby.

runnergirl812: I feel for you on the work situation. I chose not to go to into the writing field because it feels so personal when people critique your work. Hopefully that recruiter finally gets back to you and you can leave those miserable people behind.

KayVeeKay: Every single feeling I have results in crying from happiness to sadness to anger so I sympathize. I admire your attitude towards your depression. Even if it was a "just" a low point, you did the right thing getting help, because a low point can become something worse sometimes.

RedDDD: Yayy for medication working! Those sound like awesome benefits. Hopefuly the jitteryness dissipates.

bocaburger: There's nothing wrong with hope. Hope everything went well today!

flcl: Thanks! I'm working on other applications so long as my computer cooperates...
Ugh the loop. My process for dealing with it came from therapy, we practiced first noticing the negative thoughts then working on directing your thoughts away from what's bothering you. One way I stop the thoughts is noise, music or Netflix usually.

[bocaburger]

May 29, 2015 11:05:14 GMT -5 @ordinaryamy said:

bocaburger: There's nothing wrong with hope. Hope everything went well today!

Thanks.  Today actually did not go well.  I got a BFN and at our RE appointment we found out that our situation is worse than we thought and we may have to consider IVF.  I am pretty overwhelmed but so far holding myself together.

In the meantime, my dog is sick and she wont stop crying and I feel so bad for her...  But I also really need her to quiet down so I can organize my thoughts and get things done.    

[bluerainfire]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: pstd, anxiety

How is your week going? ok- up and down

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? I am trying to be more positive and worry less. I am proud that my son improved on his report card, and is truly smart and gifted- some struggles with the husband lately, he's been super moody, it may be his medication- or his job, he doesn't always express his feelings well-

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? nope

GTKY: What is your favorite summer activity? hike, swim, be outside, garden repeat- thus I will be randomly on the internet during the summer

[icequeen]

Hi y'all, just catching up from a few weeks ago. Hugs to everyone struggling

runnergirl812, I'm proud of you for being able to work through the negativity in your job and still push for a new job. You are so much better than this! Glad to hear the hypnosis and positive feedback are benefiting you!
KayVeeKay, you sound like you are in a much better place than in previous weeks. You honestly sound so much more composed and in control of your emotions. Keep it up, girl!
@ordinaryamy, I hope your police check comes back soon and you can get going on the job search. You are doing everything you can so please don't feel guilty for your employment status right now. It won't happen overnight and I'm sure your husband understands that.
RedDDD, your day off sounds super productive! I think you are being too hard on yourself, though. Everyone has different work tactics and you have to do what works for you. I think you accomplished a lot, even though it wasn't exactly according to your plans.
bocaburger, I am so sorry for your IF struggles. It is honestly the hardest thing I have ever been through in my life and it is so, so easy to drive yourself mad if you don't have other outlets like a forum, hobby with YH, or other activity that's not TTC related. I hope you have a good RE team that you trust.
flcl, I completely understand what you mean by the little things irritating you. I think I am most irritable when I don't get enough time for myself and am constantly running around doing my "duties". While I am more than happy with my responsibilities, it is important too to be able to decompress and take a step back before you start lashing out. I know you are such a devoted mom so it's really hard to take time for yourself. I completely empathize. I have to be honest, the most I do for myself is usually just take a nap or sleep longer if MH is able to watch DD. That's usually enough for me to get myself together.
bluerainfire, omg I'm so happy about your son! You must be so proud. I hope you and YH are communicating better this week.