The start of terrible 2s or something else?

[k3am]

DD was sick all last week, mostly just congested. This weekend it hit her really hard - cough, fever, overall fusspot and about 0 hours of sleep. She's still a congested, coughing snot monster. 

And we can't do anything right. EVERYTHING involves screaming. Getting her into the car seat is a 10 minute ordeal that involves stiff legs, screaming, tears, whole body tremors. Getting her OUT is almost as bad. None of her clothes are up to snuff, she doesn't like her socks, she won't eat anything but pouches, getting in the bath is a nightmare, getting out is even worse. I don't even want to talk about her thoughts on toys, which she throws across the room, then screams since she's not holding them anymore, or if I take them away since she's just throwing them.

We've always called her personality sunshine or showers. But the last few days are really just something else. I'm halfway tempted to take her to the doctor and see if something's wrong, but paranoid that her pedi will start getting ready to diagnose ME with some disorder.

So what says the GBCB brain trust? So far we figure we'll see how she does at DC and this evening, but I'm really over this kid right now.

[queenbabee]

I'm a pedi ARNP and I always tell parents "better to bring in for nothing than stay home with something". If it's really out of character, can't hurt to check. And we love crazy parents who actually care!
As a FTM though, I have no idea. GL & hope she back to sunshine soon for you.

[theborg7of9]

Sounds pretty normal to me! One thing that helped us with transitions was talking a lot about it before hand, "First we'll get you undressed, then we'll take a bath, then … whatever." And I repeat it over and over. It takes a while but it helps. Now that N is almost 3, I have started using a kid timer on my phone. I set it for 2 minutes before I want him to get out of the bath and we watch it count down. It has helped so far, but generally, he has thrown a tantrum every day for the last year when I pull him out of the bath time. Exhausting!

ETA: Also, I have found that he just has good days and bad.  Some weeks, he'll be bad for a couple days and then suddenly be good again.  I try to think about all the things that are going on that he can't tell me about.  Like maybe he has a headache or a tummy ache, but can't figure out how to tell me.  That would make anyone grumpy.

[k3am]

...so basically you're saying I should increase my wine intake and buy some ear plugs. Got it.

We've been trying to do timers and warnings, and giving her limited choices. (Do you want pink jammies or elephants?) She keeps this up and she will be an only child for sure. Or an adopted child.

[k3am]

I'll have to check for molars.

She usually handles his trips pretty well. The last few have just been leaving Tuesday morning and coming back Wednesday nights, so not too terrible or disruptive, since it's not unusual for him to come home after she's asleep every so often. Today's breakdown started for me and ended with him.

[scoobyco]

Sounds pretty normal, sometimes the recovery from an illness is worse. I would either go to the doctor or keep giving pain medicine till they are better. Viruses can last several weeks and make kids crazy.

[tas1883]

Is she still taking meds for the seizures? If I remember right you were having tons of exams and such last fall. It could be she is have a delayed reaction. Also when ever DD were getting teeth she was a hot mess of cold crap which generally turned into a sinus infection. I would almost take her in just to have them check to make sure she doesn't have an ear infection or something else going on especially since this has been going on for 2 weeks and usually viruses only last what 10 days or so. Just my 2 cents.

[mommyatty]

Jan 22, 2015 11:03:45 GMT -5 k3am said:

...so basically you're saying I should increase my wine intake and buy some ear plugs. Got it.

We've been trying to do timers and warnings, and giving her limited choices. (Do you want pink jammies or elephants?) She keeps this up and she will be an only child for sure. Or an adopted child.

I think you should switch to vodka. ?. We just went through this. It was painful. She screamed for 30 minutes one night because DH took off her jacket when she got home and it RUINED HER LIFE. She wanted to take it off herself, putting it back on and letting her do it was too little too late, and she was MAD. She's growing out of it. Kind of. We call her The Threenager. And you can hear the capitals when we say it. She is dramatic. 

[k3am]

tas1883 - yes, still on the meds. Side effects for it aren't any behavioral effects (the first medication was - the neuro kept asking if she was quicker to anger/frustration/upset, etc but we thankfully didn't notice anything like that) Although we have noticed that in the last week or so she's pooping like a real person. Which is totally awesome, since we've spent the last six months changing diapers the consistency of breastmilk poops.  (ETA: No idea why the poop talk came out. I am a freak.)

[jlaok]

I would think it has to do with being sick. If she's tired and not feeling well then she probably doesn't have the patience for day-to-day tasks. Add on to that a lack of being able to communicate and it probably comes out in a tantrum. It couldn't hurt to take her into the pedi to see if maybe some meds might help. Otherwise you'll just have to wait it out.

[twinmomma]

Jan 22, 2015 11:14:46 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

Jan 22, 2015 11:03:45 GMT -5 k3am said:

...so basically you're saying I should increase my wine intake and buy some ear plugs. Got it.

We've been trying to do timers and warnings, and giving her limited choices. (Do you want pink jammies or elephants?) She keeps this up and she will be an only child for sure. Or an adopted child.

I think you should switch to vodka. ?. We just went through this. It was painful. She screamed for 30 minutes one night because DH took off her jacket when she got home and it RUINED HER LIFE. She wanted to take it off herself, putting it back on and letting her do it was too little too late, and she was MAD. She's growing out of it. Kind of. We call her The Threenager. And you can hear the capitals when we say it. She is dramatic. 

This is our life. Everything is a meltdown. "I wanted the pink cup." "I wanted to do that specific task." "I don't want to do that specific task" We're straight out of that "Reasons why my toddler is crying" blog on a daily basis lately. 

I'd say it's probably a combination of recovering from her illness + toddler-ness. 

[dashofreality]

For your sanity, I'm hoping that you just got a confluence of tired/sick kid with one of the phases. My kids definitely go through periods where they are nightmares. Fortunately I haven't had both in one of those periods at the same time yet.

If it makes you feel any better, my DS (2.5) is being a snot right now he has been pushing buttons for a week and last night he purposely pee'd on the floor. Even told me, I'm going to pee on the floor and then did.

[somebabiesmom]

Jan 22, 2015 11:22:08 GMT -5 k3am said:

(ETA: No idea why the poop talk came out. I am a freak.)

Every conversation I have is about poop.

Sounds normal and aggravated by sickness and possibly teething. Things I do that - with my luck - probably only work for DS are:

1. I let them know that I know what he wants. E.g., "I know you want to keep your coat on." I think some of the tantrums at this age are partly due to knowing the words but not being able to communicate. Most of the time, DS calms down when he realizes that I know what he wants and - half the time - it doesn't even matter if he can't have it. Sometimes you have to say it a few times b/c they're so worked up that they don't hear you.

2. I give him a choice b/c you know the little monster wants to be independent. "You can go upstairs to bed or I can carry you. Which do you want?"

3. If he can't make up his mind or is clearly choosing Option C (run around screaming and throwing toys), then I say, "I'm going to count to 3 and pick you up." Then I go real slow and work my way towards him like we're playing, then grab him with a big smile and kisses (so it's fun, not dreadful). This typically works.

Sometimes he's just tired and the longer I keep him awake the more he's going to sink himself. In this case, I don't do timeouts or stern yelling or fingershaking or anything. I just get him some warm milk, read a book, put him down.

That said (over the course of 20 minutes that my boss will never get back), you know your DD best. Some people talk about motherly instincts, but I think it's just the insight you get being the one (along with dad) who knows her best. Try everything you think might work and I'm sure one will.

I hope she gets better soon. 

ETA a disclaimer. I'm in a good place right now. The shit I do is somehow working. I'm sure tomorrow I'll be posting about how I haven't slept and I'm a shitty mom.

[gamora24527]

We actually had a "why is my kid crying" thread on March 15 yesterday and it went a lot like your OP k3am. Your house sounds a whole lot like mine right now. I even took DS to the doctor to get checked for an ear infection because he is a tiny dictator when his ears bother him. He will ask me to do something, then I'll do it, then he'll get mad that I didn't let him do it. I'm hoping for our sake that this is just a phase while they recover from being sick and getting poor sleep. I've been doing lots of warning DS what to expect and what's coming up to do, which seems to help occasionally. Other than that, I'm just trying to be as patient as possible and don't give attention to the tantrums.

[Divefrog]

Jan 22, 2015 11:03:45 GMT -5 k3am said:

...so basically you're saying I should increase my wine intake and buy some ear plugs. Got it.

We've been trying to do timers and warnings, and giving her limited choices. (Do you want pink jammies or elephants?) She keeps this up and she will be an only child for sure. Or an adopted child.

Wine, you will definitely need more wine! You described DD to a T for the most part. She just absolutely doesn't want to do anything she doesn't want to do. Our biggest battle grounds are clothes, hair brushing, bedtime and the car seat/leaving the house....But there are any number of other things that can set her off. Last night out of the blue she didn't want anything to do with brushing her teeth (something she usually loves to do) 

You are doing all the things we try to do to make things run smoother...we offer limited choices, we let 'her do it' if at all possible, we talk about what is coming/give warning, we just started to use a colored timer to help her get a better understanding of when a transition will happen, but in all honesty the best days are the days  I can bend to her timing and don't have to push. When I can wait until she is ready to get dressed, when I can wait until she is ready to eat, when I can wait until she is ready to leave the house. 

[sassypantzz]

18 months was HELL ON EARTH with DD. Like hell. Burning, raging toddler scorned hell. And then she started talking... and every day is easier. My DD is very logical so the more I rationalize and explain why we do things the more compliant she is. Time to brush your teeth normally gets a resounding no, but if I tell her we are going to brush her teeth to keep them healthy and pretty she will do it.

[thechickencoop]

Jan 22, 2015 11:33:55 GMT -5 twinmomma said:

Jan 22, 2015 11:14:46 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

I think you should switch to vodka. ?. We just went through this. It was painful. She screamed for 30 minutes one night because DH took off her jacket when she got home and it RUINED HER LIFE. She wanted to take it off herself, putting it back on and letting her do it was too little too late, and she was MAD. She's growing out of it. Kind of. We call her The Threenager. And you can hear the capitals when we say it. She is dramatic. 

This is our life. Everything is a meltdown. "I wanted the pink cup." "I wanted to do that specific task." "I don't want to do that specific task" We're straight out of that "Reasons why my toddler is crying" blog on a daily basis lately. 

I'd say it's probably a combination of recovering from her illness + toddler-ness. 

DS had a 30+ minute meltdown this afternoon because the snow was melting.  ::eyeroll::  Damn kids.  {{hugs}}