Bed Time Question

[judyblume14]

Ok, so you all know that my girl sleeps well at night because I am the luckiest duck on the block.  

HOWEVER.

Every night when I put her down in her crib, she cries. Sometimes pretty hysterically.  It last for 5-10 minutes, then she fall asleep. We kind of just let her cry, but it's heart breaking. And it makes me sad because I feel like the only reason she falls asleep is because she's exhausted from crying.  We've tried putting her to sleep a little later, thinking maybe she's not tired yet. But that doesn't make sense, because she IS falling asleep within 10 minutes.

We nurse at bedtime, and sometimes she falls asleep in my arms. But then as soon as I lay her down, the floodgates open.

I don't know what I'm looking for here. Commiseration? Advice? Tricks? Reassurance that we're not assholes for making her cry herself to sleep every night?  Or maybe tell me we are assholes, and what we should be doing instead?

[jt2378]

Sorry judyblume14, it sucks to hear them cry. You probably can guess that I'm no help since my DD is a horrid sleeper but my thought is she is only crying for 5-10 minutes which isn't so bad, I know you still feel awful. Maybe it is just her way of settling down for the night? Have you tried rocking her for a few minutes? I know that can backfire taking her out of the crib so might not be the best idea. I know when I try and do check ins with DD, that just riles her up even more!

[judyblume14]

If she cries for more than 10 minutes, we'll pick her up and rock her, or sway with her. But sometimes that seems to prolong the crying. Or she'll drift off... and then we lay her down and start all over again.

I'm counting my blessing because once she's asleep, she's asleep. But yes, it does suck to hear her cry!

[jt2378]

One other thought, does Lu have a lovey? DD has a small stuffed bunny and loves to cuddle and suck the ears on it when she goes for naps, bed, car rides, etc...

[doglover31]

judyblume14,its hard hearing them cry. DS is like that too some nights. He will cry for 5-10 minutes then passes out. I think that since she is falling asleep so quick, that what you are doing is fine.

I second a lovey. DS has a tiny pillow he loves and as soon as we lay him down now he snuggles it and falls asleep.

He does still have nights he will cry. More so this week. He just learned how to stand up in his crib, so at night time now he will stand and bang his hand on the crib. Then cry when he gets bored. Then after 10 mins lays down and goes to sleep.

[melw629]

Third here for the lovey! We have a 'Snoedel' that we got from the hospital. We started using it a couple months ago, and now DS is getting attached. He smiles when I hand it to him in his crib.

As far as the crying, it's not fun, but if she's only crying for a few minutes then falling asleep, I think it's ok. DS sometimes cries, and I've found that going back in makes it worse, because he feels like we're abandoning him all over again when we leave the room, so I just let him cry unless he sounds really distressed (normally means his leg is stuck in the bars or he sat up and can't figure out how to lie back down). Hopefully it's just a phase!

[judyblume14]

Actually, yes, we do have a lovey. But she always seems kind of indifferent to it. Maybe we'll try to push it a little harder

[vavavictoria]

We have one of those pacifiers that's attacked to a stuffed animal. Vera cuddles with that. Also crying isn't necessarily saying she needs you. It could just be her venting as she goes to sleep. Sometimes mine does what you are saying. Every time she goes thru a leap she wakes up once in the middle of the night and screams for about 10 minutes. I've tried going in there and feeding her or rocking her and no matter what I do, she then screams for 10 minutes after that. At this point, I just now let her cry and it's over quicker and she and I get more sleep in the long run.

[horselover]

We've had the exact same thing happen!! I blame it on her top teeth coming in. I usually let her cry for 5-10 as well and then go pick her up and rock her in my arms until she calms down and still put her to bed awake. One night I had to do it twice, but she still is sleeping great through the nights. do you think it looks like it could be teething?

[jt2378]

judyblume14, how is Lu doing at night? Any change??

[judyblume14]

Overnights are still great. Bedtime, she's still basically a monster. Plus, we lowered her crib last night. So, she was extra confused. And now, even if she falls asleep nursing, she will 100% wake up when I bend all the way down to put her in.

I've been giving her the lovey at night, but she still just flips her shit for about 10 minutes until she's exhausted.

But she's also teething. I don't know. I kind of want to start going in right away to pick her up and snuggle her because it makes me so sad. But she needs to learn how to self-soothe.

if it were longer than 10 minutes, I'd start looking into formal sleep training... but 10 minutes of fussing and a full night of sleep? Hardly seems worth it, you know?

[jt2378]

Yes I would say since its only 10 minutes just keep doing what you are doing. I know its heart wrenching even to hear her cry for those few minutes but maybe its just something she is going through for now and will outgrow it.

It amazes me how different babies really are! Mine will go down relatively easy and drama free most nights BUT doesn't self soothe for anything and wake ups multiples times a night