AW - Rant about Bio-Mom

[mommakc]

I'm really trying to keep my cool with my stepsons' mother. I'm losing this fighting battle.

She's a lying liar who lies, and I'm sick of keeping my mouth shut to keep the peace. A couple of weeks ago, I gave my older SS money to sign up for indoor basketball. It was in the sign-up envelope, completely filled out.

This morning while I was getting everyone around for school, I asked him why we hadn't received any information about the league yet, and he told me that his mom took the envelope and told him that she'd turn it in and he hasn't heard anything since.

So I called her, and she said that when she took it the next day, it was already too late to sign up (unless she waited more than a week, this wasn't true). When I asked about the money, she said she used it for the younger son's glasses. Um, what? He got his new glasses a month before all of this, and we know the cost because it's on DH's insurance! It was literally $20!

This is just the latest example, and I'm so sick of M missing out. I can't always make it to those things with work - but I'll be damn sure it's done on our end next time.

OK, rant over. I feel a little better, thank you.

[cheesypeas]

That makes me so sad that she's so clearly looking out for herself at the expense of her kid. Do the boys live with you and your DH?

[kmartturtle]

That sucks. I'm sorry. That would drive me up the wall. If I were you I would just try to manage what you can on your own. Like instead of even letting him bring the money to school, would you be able to do it yourself? It sucks to put more work on yourself, but if that's what you have to do to keep her filthy hands off of taking advantage of you and H, it may need to be what's done. Still, that completely sucks and I'm sorry you have to put up with that.

[stephanie012]

That's terrible, I'm sorry that you and your family have to deal with that.

[mommakc]

Jan 22, 2015 12:22:52 GMT -5 cheesypeas said:

That makes me so sad that she's so clearly looking out for herself at the expense of her kid. Do the boys live with you and your DH?

We're about 50/50. Technically, she has primary still. I'd love to change that - but it likely won't happen unless/until they're older and voice their opinions about where they want to live more permanently. We live in a small town, and only six blocks from each other at the moment.

And yes, I'll be doing all of that on my own going forward. I was kind of hoping that things would be different at this point. Until very recently, I worked ungodly hours and she's a SAHM, technically. This was my final straw though. I'm done giving her the benefit of the doubt!

[malelz]

That sucks! I go through similar things with my SS mother as well. She's a manipulative, selfish lier. I used to keep my mouth shut just for peace, but it was starting to stress me out too much. We aren't as friendly as we used to be, but damn it feels good to speak my mind.

[elvenqueen]

I hate this. People can be so icky, and it shouldn't be that way when it comes to your children. Wish you didn't have to put up with it.

[bcmomsaysso]

I'm sooooo sorry. I feel your pain.

Edit. Because I went off on a super-long, tmi rant that I've been holding back for way long. Just know that I sympathize with you...

[hurricaine]

I feel ya. My brother has a crazy ex and my fingers are crossed that when he's old enough, my nephew will make the smart choice to stay with my brother and his lovely fiancee full time.

Can I just say though: as the soon to be sister in law to someone like you - someone who is a kind and supportive step mom to her nephew and partner to her brother - THANK YOU! Just thank you for being there and putting up with it and pushing through and being there in the lives of these people who so badly need a good female role model and a model for a healthy relationship. Just on behalf of my entire family who have been through hell and back with this other woman, we're so so glad you exist.

ETA sorry for the poor sentence structure. My gratitude is overruling my ability to write. 

[oopsiedaisies]

I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this. I've witnessed crazy ex's first hand in dating guys with kids and ex's...one time she stalked us and followed us to dinner one night and sat in her car outside the restaurant where we could see her watching us from her car. Total creeper. Luckily their son was young and wasn't aware of it...

[kcebeling]

I used to work for a divorce attorney and stories like this make me viscerally angry and raise my blood pressure. I'm so sad that you're linked to THAT.

[brittanydye]

I am so sorry you are going through this. DH and I have custody of my SS and have had him since he was 3 months old. He is 2 now and she has not seen him since we were given custody.