jekylandhyde - what are you looking for by way of support? I found the process to be tough. I felt very much just a piece in the chess game. That is until I took an active roll learn about temping, charting, etc. I felt more included and an active participant in the process. Clearly there is some action needed without being involved in that way, but I felt much more connected to my wife and could empathize with each negative test that came...that feeling of disappointment; feeling majorly let down. I felt it but after learning more, I felt like I really got what DW was feeling. The ups and downs totally suck. But it was easier for us to support one another once we had the same knowledge base. I felt included and DW didn't feel it was only on her to schedule/orchestrate something so monumental as TTC.
That's just a quick two cents. What are you challenged by?
Post by jekylandhyde on May 30, 2015 8:41:50 GMT -5
This is exactly what I mean in regards to support. Somebody else to talk with. This last few months have been getting harder, especially when we think we are and at the last day we find out we aren't. I've been having that negative question, Is it me that's preventing us from getting pregnant? I realize it probably isn't the case. I love my wife and we support each other. But talking with someone else is nice.
As far as what challenges me? Trying to squeeze in time for fun like making wine and beer. As well as practicing with mt bow for deer season.
That feeling of "is it me" is brutal. Is it you? Is it me? Is it us? It's so crazy how hard it is to get pregnant when you want to. Other times it's a snap (even if you are trying not to). It's so frustrating. Our first literally...one time. Our second was about 8-9 months. "Normal" is within a year. I hate normal and average though. Everything is..."could be a problem" and "can be completely normal" at the same time. Such a mind fuck.
This is exactly what I mean in regards to support. Somebody else to talk with. This last few months have been getting harder, especially when we think we are and at the last day we find out we aren't. I've been having that negative question, Is it me that's preventing us from getting pregnant? I realize it probably isn't the case. I love my wife and we support each other. But talking with someone else is nice.
As far as what challenges me? Trying to squeeze in time for fun like making wine and beer. As well as practicing with mt bow for deer season.
I know this feeling all to well jekylandhyde. I have been in your position TTC with no results. DW and I experienced our share of letdowns, heartbreaks and disappointments through the years, and it took us 9 years until her first real pregnancy. The first pregnancy was confirmed with ultrasound and we were thrilled, but then heartbreak came again in the form of a miscarriage. 2nd Pregnancy was into the 2nd trimester until DW went into premature labor and we lost our daughter.
I'm now 35 and the father of a beautiful 6 month old son. I feel that I am able to talk about my past experience and hopefully be helpful to someone who is going through what I went through.
I found the process to be tough. I felt very much just a piece in the chess game. That is until I took an active roll learn about temping, charting, etc. I felt more included and an active participant in the process. Clearly there is some action needed without being involved in that way, but I felt much more connected to my wife and could empathize with each negative test that came...that feeling of disappointment; feeling majorly let down. I felt it but after learning more, I felt like I really got what DW was feeling. The ups and downs totally suck. But it was easier for us to support one another once we had the same knowledge base. I felt included and DW didn't feel it was only on her to schedule/orchestrate something so monumental as TTC.
tjr42px, I always felt the disappointment, but it was definitely magnified once we stepped up our efforts with planning and charting, etc. We read every "old wives tale" about everything that could affect conception both on my end and DW end. DW and I would have silly arguments about the entire process and it got to the point where we gave up on it and went back to "chance". When we finally revisited the process was when we finally saw something happening. Often it felt like work instead of something enjoyable. We committed to it even when one of us wasn't "in the mood"
As for how to still find time for ding what you like to do? I've found that to be difficult too, but working with your SO is helpful. I'm sure she feels the same way. Time becomes limited so the quantity of time for things might take a dip, but making that time count can make up for it.
Exercising has always been my thing. I rarely do anything these days, but when I get a chance I try to make the most of it. I've gone from spending workouts focusing on rarely getting a chance and working frustrated to enjoying the time I do get.
If it becomes a huge issue of making the time, talk with your wife and schedule the time in if needed. Taking time for your own thing (each of you) is important.
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