Telling People!

[kelle017]

Have you told anyone?  When do you plan on it?  

We haven't yet.  I meant to tell some of my friends from my last bmb but I think I accidentally posted to my main page.  Deleted it immediately -hopefully no one saw it.  So now I'm scared to try again. 

I'm not sure when we will tell anyone.  

With dd my sister and bil knew immediately pretty much (h told bil who told sis), my boss knew at around 8 weeks, a few friends knew in the next few weeks and we told the rest of our siblings and parents after the 12 week ultrasound.

[pbandj714]

Just DH knows so far! Since this is our first, we plan on giving our families cute gifts to break the news after the first ultrasound. We'll likely tell a select few close friends then as well. Everyone else will find out around 12 weeks probably.

[apunicorn]

*trigger warning*

I only told my mom and my best friend and I told them about both losses so I'd want them to know this time as well. Obviously hoping for the best but these ladies have offered amazing support in the past so I'd want their support in case anything happens again.

[lemoncupcake]

Nobody yet! If we lived local to our families we would probably tell them, but DH wants to wait and plan a trip up there Fathers Day weekend, which will be right after our first ultrasound.

[ang32]

No, not yet. I'll probably tell my mom and sister in a couple of weeks and we'll tell everyone else around the 10 or 12 week mark. This is how we did it with DD.

[renbee]

I'm not that cautious about telling close family and friends early on. After our loss last year, I was actually really happy that they knew. It was great to have their support and understanding, and it also stopped all of the painful questions about when we would have a baby.

I told a really good friend at work - she works in HR so I knew she couldn't tell anyone . The best part - she told me she's pregnant too! So excited we get to be pregnant together - she's due only a week before me. Of course though, my PGAL brain keeps thinking that if something happens to either of us, that would be horrible.

I told my mom last night, and I plan to tell my dad today. I hope to tell my sister soon, but she is getting engaged this Friday, so I don't want to steal her thunder! I'll probably tell her the next time I see her after her engagement.

We will also tell DH's parents, brother, and SIL on Sunday at lunch. I'll probably tell a few of my cousins and aunts that I'm really close with in the next couple weeks.

[bee]

I personally can't keep my mouth closed. We have told parents and best friends already. But these are the people that know is best and we can't keep secrets from! We won't announce on facebook for a while.

[MissSally]

We had a loss in January, so H and I have decided to keep this one quiet. Other than our immediate family, and my BFF, we are going to wait until 10 weeks.

[Winolicious]

Our IVF cheer squad knows. So my parents, best friend, 3 online friends from my Knot days, and two friends at work, my boss, my husband's boss.

[letal316]

I was pretty uptight about not telling people with my first pregnancy but for this one, if it comes up, I won't lie. Last time I did everything possible to avoid having to tell anyone until my 12 week u/s. Only DH knows but some of my friends know I'm trying and I'm going to a concert on Wed and will not be drinking so those three girlfriends will know. Otherwise, if it doesn't come up with people, I'll hold off until after the u/s.

[mishy2010]

H and two of my friends from work know. I work in a medical field so I didn't mind telling them. We probably won't tell family til around 8 weeks which is what we did with DD.

[alpies]

I've told my parents, my in laws, and my best friend, who all knew we were going through IVF so they were expecting news one way or the other. The girls I work with knew about the IVF too so I anticipate telling them soon too. Other close friends and family will find out after our first ultrasound at 6-7 weeks and Facebook at the end of the first trimester. Provided everyone who already knows an keep their mouths shut that long

[SubtleGrandeur]

We told DH's parents tonight because we were having them over for DH's birthday. We will tell my mom and BFF tomorrow. They all knew the last time when we had the loss. So, I'm comfortable telling them again. We won't likely tell everyone else until 11 or 12 weeks. I might tell work a little earlier than that, though. We'll see how it goes.

[dreadpiratebuttercup]

We'll tell people around 7-8 weeks, after seeing the heartbeat.

[allegro55]

We will tell our parents next time we see them in person (in a month or so). We will probably wait until after our first appointment at 10 weeks to tell friends. I may even want to wait until the second trimester.

[alwaysnc4me]

My BMB for DD, hubs, and a bff that the president could tell state secrets to . Since DD isn't even one until the end of June, I think we will be waiting as long as possible to share the news with family and friends.

[cassey910]

Only DH And BMB know. I plan to tell my sis and Bff soon. DH has a huge family and I would like to tell them at the same time but we will see. It may be a few weeks.

[mrsred09]

DH and my boss are the only ones who know. My family doesn't understand what boundaries are and last time did not respect our wishes and blabbed to the world about our pregnancy. When we lost the baby we were inundated with tons of questions about a baby that didn't exist. It was very challenging telling all those people, most strangers to us, that we lost the baby.

This time we will tell BFFs after first ultrasound around 6 weeks and then will share with family and everyone else after 13ish weeks. My boss was unbelievably supportive during my loss and knew we had been trying, so I told her the good news this morning.

We won't be telling LO until we are ready to share with the world because he is a talker and will spill the beans if he knows!

[lazyreader]

I'll tell everyone after I hear the heartbeat. As of right now one cousin knows so she wouldn't ply me with booze at a vacation wedding ? (<-- crying laughing face). And of course hubs knows.

[lilrubberduckie]

I think i got a bfp this morning but i will wait a few more days just to make sure. Dh and i are going on a delayed honeymoon next week. So if it is positive i want to tell him the first night we are there. its going to be hard not to tell him till then. Eeeek!

[LeaD1108]

Right now it's just me and DH. I would really like to wait to tell anyone else until after the first appt. I have a really close friend who just had a second tri loss a few weeks ago. It was heartbreaking. I'm anxious to share the news with her but want to tell her in person instead of her hearing it from someone else. My in-laws will be ecstatic and able to keep quiet, but my own mother will likely spill the beans if we tell anyone now.

So...any suggestions on the best way to share the news with my friend from any of you who may have been in a similar situation? She was the only person who knew DH and I were trying, but I know she is still feeling very raw over her loss. I really don't want to rub salt in the wound.

[mrsred09]

Jun 1, 2015 10:04:51 GMT -5 LeaD1108 said:

Right now it's just me and DH. I would really like to wait to tell anyone else until after the first appt. I have a really close friend who just had a second tri loss a few weeks ago. It was heartbreaking. I'm anxious to share the news with her but want to tell her in person instead of her hearing it from someone else. My in-laws will be ecstatic and able to keep quiet, but my own mother will likely spill the beans if we tell anyone now.

So...any suggestions on the best way to share the news with my friend from any of you who may have been in a similar situation? She was the only person who knew DH and I were trying, but I know she is still feeling very raw over her loss. I really don't want to rub salt in the wound.

Personally I wouldn't tell her in person. I would send her an email or text so she has time to absorb and process the news on her own and not in front of you. If you trust her, send it before you tell anyone else. Then she won't be blindsided if someone spills the beans.

Loss is really hard, and especially hard to be around pregnant people or hear that others are pregnant when you are still so raw from your loss experience. I think you are a great friend asking here how best to tell her and being so sensitive to her feelings.

[LeaD1108]

Jun 1, 2015 10:11:45 GMT -5 mrsred09 said:

Jun 1, 2015 10:04:51 GMT -5 LeaD1108 said:

Right now it's just me and DH. I would really like to wait to tell anyone else until after the first appt. I have a really close friend who just had a second tri loss a few weeks ago. It was heartbreaking. I'm anxious to share the news with her but want to tell her in person instead of her hearing it from someone else. My in-laws will be ecstatic and able to keep quiet, but my own mother will likely spill the beans if we tell anyone now.

So...any suggestions on the best way to share the news with my friend from any of you who may have been in a similar situation? She was the only person who knew DH and I were trying, but I know she is still feeling very raw over her loss. I really don't want to rub salt in the wound.

Personally I wouldn't tell her in person. I would send her an email or text so she has time to absorb and process the news on her own and not in front of you. If you trust her, send it before you tell anyone else. Then she won't be blindsided if someone spills the beans.

Loss is really hard, and especially hard to be around pregnant people or hear that others are pregnant when you are still so raw from your loss experience. I think you are a great friend asking here how best to tell her and being so sensitive to her feelings.

mrsred09, Thanks for the advice. I do agree with me not telling her face to face.She actually sent me a text about her loss, but we cried it out together a few days later.  I will probably send her a text after we hear the heartbeat and around the time we tell family. I do trust her to not tell anyone, but I'm really just trying to put as much time between her loss and me telling her as I can while at the same time making sure she hears it before others. It's just bittersweet regardless.

[morwen]

So far only one of our friends knows, and we plan to keep it that way until at least the end of first tri

[sloppybananasplit]

We are planning to hold off on telling family until around 10 weeks. My sister had a MC at 7 weeks, about two months ago, so I'm nervous about sharing the news. She knew we were trying and told me not to be scared to tell her. I'm gonna hold off on yelling work/friends till 12 weeks I think. Im hoping I'll feel it's the right time to share the news. It feels weird to have just DH and I know, and want to be excited, but be nervous at the same time!

[chocolate]

I was really picky about not telling anyone until I was done with my 1st tri with DS. I was really good at it, but H had a hard time keeping his mouth shut. Our parents and siblings we told early, and I know H told a couple friends. The problem is we live in a small town so I don't really trust that 1 person won't tell another person in secrecy and it just goes around.

I'm feeling the same way this time, but I have a feeling it'll get out to the public sooner than I want. I need to have a discussion with H and try to get him to keep his mouth shut. I'd just rather keep it private at least until I see or hear a heartbeat.