DH and I are working on a plan for when he'll be taking time off for baby. I would like him to take off as little time as possible, because it's all vacation/ unpaid time, but I don't want to set unreasonable expectations. Also, my grandma has offered to come as much as needed after LO's arrival and I know she would be helpful as well, I'm just not sure if there are things I'll definitely want DH for, rather than her. What's the minimum amount of time you would want your SO home after delivery? I would love comments with pros/ cons as well!
Post by carolyngrace on May 31, 2015 6:50:43 GMT -5
I'd love it if DH could stay home for more than a week. Not only to help, but to bond with baby and have that experience together!
He will likely be able to take 1-2 weeks total, but not all right away or at once. If baby comes this week he'll take a couple of days and then plan for a week in the near future to take off.
Post by silv3rlining on May 31, 2015 6:52:09 GMT -5
I voted 1+ week bc DH gets 10 days paternity leave. But he also plans to take some extra leave (all paid) as well. He is in the "use it or lose it stage" with leave at work. We're also moving this summer. It will be nice to have him home to do some home improvements/get ready to move and help with our toddler if I'm tied up with the new LO.
Post by wifedeangel on May 31, 2015 6:53:21 GMT -5
It was so helpful to have H home for a week when DD was born, even if he was just company for us a lot of the time. This time, with a toddler to also look after, I imagine he will be even more useful. Also, he'll be a good buffer for the ILs.
DH was home for 2w post birth with DS1, but he was in the research years of his training and he could basically do what he wanted (as long as his work still got done in the end) and it was awesome.
This time we'll be lucky if he has 4 days off total including when I'm in the hospital delivering. fortunately, DS1 will have day camp through the end of the month and we will have help from our families.
Post by mrsmonogrammed on May 31, 2015 7:22:35 GMT -5
I'm going in to be induced on a Monday evening, DH will take off Tues, Wed, Thurs (all unpaid) and he already has Fridays and Saturdays off. So a total of 5 days off with us, but only taking 3 from work!
My mom is taking a week of vacation for after the baby arrives, but I'm not sure what day she'll "start". I also have my grandma (who's obviously retired, but still very young!) who is more than excited to come over and help out:) So I'm not expecting a shortage of help at all!
DH owns his own business & they're REALLLLLY busy right now. I'll be lucky if he gets the days I'm in the hospital off. Good thing is, he can make his own schedule so we're hoping that even if he has to work, he can come home early sometimes. All I can say is I'm thankful for my Family & Friends right about now!
DH was told he can stay home a week, but I am not sure how undivided his time will be. I am sure he will get plenty of calls from the office and will be on his laptop a good bit. Poor guy never really gets time off unless we leave the country and he has no cell service.
ETA: this is it for help for me. We live across the country from our families, and while parents will come for a visit, it's not going to be be long term. I'm pretty nervous about it
DH was told he can stay home a week, but I am not sure how undivided his time will be. I am sure he will get plenty of calls from the office and will be on his laptop a good bit. Poor guy never really gets time off unless we leave the country and he has no cell service.
ETA: this is it for help for me. We live across the country from our families, and while parents will come for a visit, it's not going to be be long term. I'm pretty nervous about it
Sorry to hear - that would definitely be nerve-wracking!
DH is taking 3 weeks. His boss is letting him use all his comp days from when he had to work weekends over the last 5 months in June, which is so nice! He'll only have to use 1 week vacation + 2 sick days, then the rest is all comp. I'm really grateful that she is allowing that...our family is all an hour or more away so I'm not counting on much help there.
Then when DH goes back to work, my college roommate is coming up from VA for 5 days. She's going to stay with her family nearby and come help me while DH is at work every day. So basically, I have help full time for a month. Makes me feel so much less nervous about the whole thing!
H is a college professor and has off until the end of August. Then he gets three weeks of paternity leave - he's planning on taking it right around thanksgiving which will roll into the end of the semester and he won't go back until mid-January. I'm jealous!
DH doesn't get any time off but he's taking delivery day (Friday) and then the following week. My parents are coming back the Sunday before he goes back to work and staying through the following Sunday. After that I'm on my own until my MIL & SIL come up which will probably be the next weekend.
Post by paintdadanta on May 31, 2015 8:58:02 GMT -5
DH is allowed to take several weeks worth unpaid but we can't afford it. Most likely he'll only be able to take off enough time to cover the hospital and the day after unless they let him switch his days off with a co-worker. He already used most of his vacation days.
H is a school teacher and will be off until the end of August. He will still teach martial arts in the evening. I will go back to work one doctor clears me. I am thankful we will not have to put LO into daycare until August but really jealous he gets the extra time.
Post by laurenlou83 on May 31, 2015 9:18:52 GMT -5
DH has to use vacation time, and he only has 11 days left until Nov. 1. He already took off last Wed-Fri while we were in the hospital delivering and post-partum. He is off tmrw and Tuesday but will probably go back on Wednesday now. I'm terrified! But I want him to save some of his vacation days in case we need them down the road. Luckily he works close to home, so if I need him he can get home quickly. Our families both live a few hours away, so I will mostly be on my own.
DH gets 2 weeks paternity leave, then he's taking another week. The sleep deprivation with DS was no joke. My parents also live halfway across the country, the in-laws on the opposite coast (not that MIL is helpful when she visits), and I don't have many friends here. My mom's going to be here until the baby is at least 10 days old (my dad is coming out for the last few days of that.)
H has 8 days saved up so we'll aim for a week or just use them all. If I have a c section or something where recovery or hospital time will be lengthened for either one of us for some reason he can also take a compassionate leave.
He is a teacher, so done on June 26 anyway for a couple months.
Post by whoopsadaisy on May 31, 2015 10:11:38 GMT -5
DH works for a small company and we weren't expecting a lot because he hasn't been there for quite a full year yet, but his boss is being AMAZING! DH is going to be able to take a week off fully and then work from home for another week. I thought at most he'd be able to work from home for the first week after baby is born, but this is so much better! I'm really excited he'll have more time to be with us.
DH is taking 2 weeks vacation - he started this job 9 months ago and is worried they'll realize they don't need him if he stays away longer. He'll take the first week when baby arrives and the second week when his mom visits, end of July. My sister is 2 min away, and my mom us coming to stay a few days too and I have lots of friends/family if I need help. I'm lucky in that sense. DH boss looked at him like he was crazy when he said he'd only take two weeks -- she pointed out I might need him longer so we'll see. It's a small family business and I think they're pretty understanding. The hard part will be keeping DH out of work mode, he's a bit if a workaholic
DH gets 10 days automatically paid and he had tons of leave saved up, including 16 days he has to use soon or he won't get them. With DD I think he did his 10 days+ 5 days extra. As much as I enjoyed it I would have been firm had he gone back sooner. I can't imagine him going back after just 1 week though bc DD had jaundice and spent 3 days in the hospital which would have been most of the first week and I felt rough with my postpartum pre eclampsia symptoms.
H took off the four working days that I was actually in the hospital ( thanks induction) and 2 of the remaining working days last week. He returns tomorrow and is already not wanting to leave our little girl. I'm so thankful that my mom is staying with us because this first time mom stuff is tough.
DH is taking 3 weeks - half of that is paid vacation and the other unpaid. We don't have any family near us and since this is going to be so new to both of us, we will take all that we can afford to.
The plan is for my H to take off 2 weeks. My parents are both off all summer so they will help me during the day. Then my H gets an 8 week paternity leave that he has to start within 90 days of their birth. He will start it on day 89, which is approximately when my parents go back to work!
DH has to use vacation time, and he only has 11 days left until Nov. 1. He already took off last Wed-Fri while we were in the hospital delivering and post-partum. He is off tmrw and Tuesday but will probably go back on Wednesday now. I'm terrified! But I want him to save some of his vacation days in case we need them down the road. Luckily he works close to home, so if I need him he can get home quickly. Our families both live a few hours away, so I will mostly be on my own.
Post by silv3rlining on May 31, 2015 11:28:11 GMT -5
I just want to add that DH annoyed me on his paternity leave after I had DS. He pretty much played video games/napped the whole time. If it wasn't for the fact I wasn't allowed to drive I would have been more than ready for him to go back sooner. He did go grocery shopping with me 1 day and changed some diapers...This time he will be entertaining DS or doing things around the house that need to get done before our move.
I think he gets a week of paternity leave and then another 2 weeks of comp time and something else. I'm so grateful with how it worked out. I almost wonder if 3 weeks is too much (says the naive ftm) but he'll get lots of bonding and the sleep deprevation won't immediately be an issue.
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