Open letter/Twatwaffle Tuesday

[aimeefarrahfowler]

For all the special people in our lives

[aimeefarrahfowler]

Dear SIL,

I really do appreciate you taking care of the kids while I'm at work. I know it is not easy or fun all the time. But please, must you be putting their dinner on the table at 6:00 when I walk in the door to pick them up? Couldn't you feed them at 5:30 or just wait 5 minutes so I can pick up my kids and leave and then feed your kids? I am fully capable of preparing dinner for my own kids. Not that I don't appreciate the effort, but I get about 2 1/2 hours with my kids, and I would really rather spend time with them on my own.

You under-appreciating SIL

[junkytrunk]

Dear guy we rent 2 rooms from,

Just because you said what's yours is ours in the fridge, does not mean it goes both ways. I'm sorry, but if I buy food, it's for me, H or M. You can't just eat a slice of my pizza because you didn't want to make your own dinner. There were only 3 slices left. If I offer you food, then you can eat it. And asking before taking would be nicer than you saying something after the fact.

Signed,
June 13th can't come soon enough!

[sarasansh]

junkytrunk That's so obnoxious! Our exchange student often eats random food out of pantry--fine, no problem. Except whenever we buy cookies (MH is a cookie fiend), our student will eat the ENTIRE package at like 1am, except for one cookie. As if we're going to think, "huh, I guess we ate more cookies than we realized. There's only one left."

Now our cookies live inside the stove.

[somethingcleverer]

Dear coworker,
Why do you insist on being miserable? Yes one of our workstations is down. Thanks for texting me yesterday to let me know how awful it was. It's a good thing I texted my partner who actually told me he was completely caught up and that we had a workable solution going on. Then today you keep complaining about how many more steps you have to take, but thing is if we worked together you could take about half as many steps. I actually need steps to reach my goal and win all my Fitbit challenges. But since you like to complain I guess I'll keep letting you do more work than you have to. I wish I could wear some earplugs today.
Signed,
The boss who is counting down the minutes until you go home.

[bliz1712]

Dear H,
Thanks for golfing last night, the only night you didn't already HAVE to golf because of league, instead of spending it with the kids since you'll be gone for 3 days. I LOVE your priorities!!

Dear V,
Last day of school, now can you please start cleaning up your room since you'll have so much extra time???

[summergirl1211]

Dear co-worker,

I really REALLY hope your jury duty ends soon! Some of your upcoming projects are getting complex and will take up waaaay more time than I can give them. I'm happy to help out when I can but some of your reps are abusing my help and I'm ready to scream. I know you can't talk about the case and I know it's not your fault, but dammit, wrap it up somehow!

Your always-a-team-player coworker,
Summergirl

[traceyt07]

@dbliz1712 My husband does that too and it makes me crazy! Since it's spring he signed up for a basketball league, 2 softball leagues and a soccer league. Seriously?! The other night he went to the basketball game KNOWING he wasn't going to play. He went to 'cheer on his teammates.' Seriously? Grrrr.

[jennmm]

Dear Cousin, please stop posting selfies on FB. Do you really needed an album dedicated to yourself. Get a job, or a hobby, or something.
Tired of seeing 50 pictures of you every. single. day.

[laurski81]

Everyone that lives in NE bitching about the weather on FB,
You complain when it's too hot, and then when it's too cold. We do not live in a place that is a consistent "nice temperature" so STFU already. We all know what it is like outside and no one cares, and for those that don't live here they still don't care.

[aimeefarrahfowler]

Dear childhood friend on FB:

Based on your latest posts, it sounds like your son graduating middle school is a huge achievement. I don't know why you think passing the 8th grade has required multiple posts every day expressing how "effing awesome" you think your son is.

Also, you are too damn old to be posting selfies in Instagram with #brunettes #hottie

I love you IRL, but online you are a crazy, crazy person.

Love,
Someone who used to want to be like you but now realizes you're actually quite dumb

[vanessalc]

Dear Harlow,
Stop shitting and peeing on the floor! We go outside plenty, how about you follow your house mates' (human and dog) example and shit outside like a normal dog!

[reinedecajun]

Dear Nina Needs to Go,

Just piss before you leave the house. It's not hard. Quit being such a little cunt.

Avid watcher although not of my own accord..

[sarahandeddie]

Dear Flash (our dog),

I'm sorry your tummy was upset today. However, I don't think it would have killed you to get off my bed before you pooped all over the place. You will be outside as much as possible the next few days because I'm not cleaning up another mess!

Love,
Your dry heaving mommy

[heatherbee]

Dear DH,

Stop spending money on stupid shit. We don't need a new laptop becuase ours died. We both have a work laptop that we bring home every night, smartphones, and an iPad. The laptop broke 2 months ago and I have barley noticed. So no, it was not urgent that you ordered one online today without talking to me because it was a "good deal and you needed it". Cancel the order or sleep on the couch for a long time.

Signed, your pissed off wife who is trying hard to save for our next house

[bantyrooster]

Ellison,
Sweet princess girl go the f to sleep. For weeks you have been up all night. You slept better as a newborn. They torture people like this you know?

Love
Your very very tired and crabby mommy.

[roo1582]

I know its no longer Tuesday but here goes:

Dear Co-worker,

How hard is it to follow directions? I really shouldn't have to hold your hand every single step of the way. A step-by-step document was created to provide you the detail of what to do for the project. Instead, you just do whatever you want and skip the majority of steps. Plus, you then try and do things that make absolutely no sense. Just follow the damn directions! It's not that hard. You've been working on this same state for over 2 weeks now.

Sincerely,

I'm tired of having incompetent people working on my project

[pinkluna]

Dear AF,

After years of being regular why are you screwing with me now? Last month you surprise me a week early and this month you're late. I've had PMS way too long and I know I'm not KU so just get here already!

Signed,
Grumpy McGrumpster

[somethingcleverer]

pinkluna I'm having the same problems! Last month it lasted 10 days this month I was mostly spotting. So frustrating!