An I need advice/what would you do post!

[helmink0804]

My Grandma just turned 93 and bc of her age she thinks she knows everything about babies. Sure she raised 4 kids- but the youngest is now 55. Times haven changed. There's a few things I've asked her not to do and she still does- bc she knows more and have been around longer. 
1st thing is walking and holding Brooke- by all means I don't care if she holds her all she wants- but I don't like the walking. Brooke is getting older and heavier and my grandma has been told by her dr that she should be walking with a cane. She's not steady while walking. Also she says all the time that her fingers don't work anymore- they can't grip things- they're old and arthritic. I'm scared she'll drop her. 

2nd thing is the dog. My mom lives with her and has the sweetest golden retriever and Brooke just loves him! My Grandma freaks when Brooke goes by him and plays by him. She's never left alone with the dog and my mom and I are always right there watching and paying attention to make sure Budddy is doing ok with Brooke and that Brooke is being nice to Buddy. We have a small dog at our house and they play together all the time and Brooke even follows him throughout the house. With my grandma reacts I don't want Brooke to get the impression that she should be scared of the dog. I want her to interact with them and love them. Well today Brooke was over by Buddy and my Grandma goes no no Brooke and picked her up and moved her away! After I've numerously have told her they're fine I have my eye on them. That's what I do with her when she's by something I don't want her to play with- is pick her up and move her. 
The kicker too is that before doing it she muttered saying I'll probably get yelled at for this! so she knows! I got mad today and we got into an argument about it. 
I don't know what to do anymore. I want her to not be scared of the dog and interact with him and I don't want my grandma carrying her. I don't think I'm wrong with either. Both my mom and I have talked to her- but she doesn't listen. Saying I've been around dogs and babies a lot longer than you two combined- I would never drop her, I love her too much to drop her. 
So what would you do or suggest? 

[kendy20]

It seems like you and your mom have both told her how you want things. So not sure what more you could do really.

But as far as the dog thing goes, our dog was having some issues with DD and was being territorial. But he's gotten much better about DD being around him, however they are still dogs and can change their mood very quickly. If your watching them closely I see nothing wrong with her being around the dog.

[sstwinklinglites]

I'm with @kitchen. If grandma doesn't see her that often, then just deal with it when grandma is around. But, from the tone of your post, that doesn't seem to be the case. If grandma and Brooke spend a lot of time together, then put your foot down. You may have to show grandma some tough love, like taking Brooke away from her when she's carrying her while walking, or even telling her you won't be bringing Brooke by anymore because of X, Y, Z.

[helmink0804]

We see my grandma a lot. They live 5 minutes away from us and with my mom having knee replacement surgery we've been over a lot to help out. So I really can't keep my grandma away. I'm hoping that maybe after today since I got mad and yelled at her about it that she'll understand. I don't think she heard me ranting about the walking and holding her thou- which makes me the most nervous.

[becole]

I would love to have my grandma here to hold my baby. Just try to limit her to holding babe sitting, but honestly, this might be one of those things where you gotta let it go.

[helmink0804]

I think the dog thing made me mad bc she knew it was going too. If she does it again than she does it again.
I'm very grateful and lucky to have her around and to help with what she can.

[becole]

Just cherish her lady. One of my grandmas passed a long time ago. The other, whom I was close with, passed right after I got married 7 years ago. When lo was like 2 months old, I was walking through our house and holding lo and I smelled my grandmas house. It was fleeting and only for a second. I couldn't smell it again after that even if I tried. I also had lots of dreams about my grandma holding and playing with lo when I was pregnant. Enjoy her.

[Deleted]

I agree with becole. Let the dog thing go. In fact, since you know it bugs her you can always play closely with LO when the dog is around to make your grandma feel better about it.

Dogs can be unpredictable sometimes so I get her hesitation.

And with the carrying, maybe just stay close and offer to carry her whenever it looks like she's going to pick her up.

My grandma died last Valentine's day and I wish more than anything I could have her meet DS. I miss her so much and would deal with whatever I had to just so she could be here with DS. She was only 3 months short of meeting him.

Maybe don't yell at her too. 93 year olds who obviously adore their grandkids deserve a free pass.

Edited for spelling

[Deleted]

Jan 22, 2015 20:31:11 GMT -5 becole said:

Just cherish her lady. One of my grandmas passed a long time ago. The other, whom I was close with, passed right after I got married 7 years ago. When lo was like 2 months old, I was walking through our house and holding lo and I smelled my grandmas house. It was fleeting and only for a second. I couldn't smell it again after that even if I tried. I also had lots of dreams about my grandma holding and playing with lo when I was pregnant. Enjoy her.

I can't love tit this enough. Brought me to tears. I miss my grandmother so much.

[Deleted]

Agree with PPs about the dog. Even if LOs have been around a dog, it's not all dogs. My dog is as sweet as pie, has never hurt a fly but I know anything can happen given the perfect storm and DS pretty much lives to chase her and grab her fur so I make sure my dog has a safe space away from DS at all times.

[helmink0804]

Thanks ladies for all your input. I really appreciate it.

[becole]

Sorry @usernameedit it's a lingering loss, right?