** WEEKLY GOAL SETTING 6/8/15 **

[icequeen]

Good afternoon, y'all!

First of all, I apologize for missing last week's goals thread. Hopefully we can resume again this week and help support each others' goals. If you feel comfortable, please list any goals you have for this week so we can all be encouraging and keep each other accountable. If you had goals the week before last, update us and then create some new goals for this week following the format below. Have a great week. Thanks!

Goal:
Short or long term?
Why is it important?
How am I going to accomplish it?

[icequeen]

*Pregnancy mentioned*

The past two weeks have been really hard on me and I struggled a lot with controlling my behaviors. I wasn't able to reduce the binging/purging, but at least it did not get worse during the times I was really stressed and anxious. I was able to not lose any more weight (I think) because I was weighed at the dr's office today and the weight was the same as two weeks ago. However, I am pregnant now and not sure if any of this weight is pregnancy related yet, because I am super bloated.

Goal: Do not lose any more weight
Short or long term? long term
Why is it important? I need to gain some weight if I want to have a healthy body to support a pregnancy
How am I going to accomplish it? not weighing myself at home, doing my therapy exercises at home

Goal: Have one "cheat" meal and not purge
Short or long term? short term
Why is it important? I want to challenge myself to enjoy eating without punishing myself by throwing up
How am I going to accomplish it? I will tell MH beforehand what my intentions are and he can stay with me

Goal: Do not go into panic mode and lose my cool if DH and I have an argument this week
Short or long term? long term
Why is it important? We both need to be able to talk things through without letting our emotions get in the way of our communication as a couple and as parents.
How am I going to accomplish it? Take deep breaths and verbalize that I am trying to stay calm.

ETA word tense

[runnergirl812]

Goal: get 8 hrs of sleep every night
It's a short term goal and important for my well being at work, I'm realizing. By taking my meds by 9 pm and being in bed with electronics off by 10 pm each night, with the exception of my meditation app to help me sleep.

[juliayadda]

Glad to hear about your stable weight icequeen, Is there anyone you can call when you feel the need to purge, to talk you off the ledge so to speak? Is that even helpful? I wish I was more knowledgeable in this area to offer advice to you.

I can say that you can definitely forgive yourself for fighting with your husband. That is gonna happen, and it is normal. I do recommend that if you feel a fight will be eminent, taking a minute to cool down and save a lot of hurt feelings.

ASM:

Goal:
Get my DS's room cleaned up
Short or long term?
Short! (or long if it is kept that way)
Why is it important?
It smells...

How am I going to accomplish it?
This weekend he should be staying with me not his dad so I should be able to marshal him to do some laundry/cleaning.

Goal: Do my own laundry

Short or long term?
Short/long because I hate laundry

Why is it important?
All my wearable clothing of not hung up/folded away...

How am I going to accomplish it?
One step at a time... or one hanger at a time?

I have to say I would WAAAY rather be doing yard work/gardening than house chores.

[icequeen]

juliayadda, it is rare that I can be talked out of it. The purging is a compulsion just like someone biting their nails. The only way for me to avoid it is to not put myself in that position in the first place, or not be triggered to do it. If I eat certain foods or a certain amount, I won't purge, but that's not always possible. Same thing if I am triggered by something or someone, I won't be able to stop that reaction. Sometimes I don't even realize what I'm about to do because these actions are so ingrained in my daily life. Sorry this was probably more than you intended to hear. It's just complicated because many people assume I can just "stop". I wish I could.

[juliayadda]

Jun 8, 2015 21:04:13 GMT -5 icequeen said:

juliayadda, it is rare that I can be talked out of it. The purging is a compulsion just like someone biting their nails. The only way for me to avoid it is to not put myself in that position in the first place, or not be triggered to do it. If I eat certain foods or a certain amount, I won't purge, but that's not always possible. Same thing if I am triggered by something or someone, I won't be able to stop that reaction. Sometimes I don't even realize what I'm about to do because these actions are so ingrained in my daily life. Sorry this was probably more than you intended to hear. It's just complicated because many people assume I can just "stop". I wish I could.

I appreciate hearing this. Like I said I dont know enough about it. When you describe it this way I can understand.

[Deleted]

icequeen, I'm happy for your stable weight! and congrats H&H 9 months!

Goal: Continue with my yoga daily, increasing the time from one pose a day to two longer sessions a week
Short or long term? short leading to long term - it's greatly helping my anxiety and gives me the time I need to get out of my head!
Why is it important? It's one tool I have to help me with my PMDD.
How am I going to accomplish it? DH knows my intentions and I just take whatever time I can to do it. DS will do the downward dog with me!

Goal: Practice taking deep breaths when I feel I'm going to explode
Short or long term? Long
Why is it important? One response I have to stress is I stop breathing or breathe shallow - have since I was a toddler
How am I going to accomplish it? If I feel a big blow up coming on, step away and breathe - use breathing from my counseling

Goal: Work on being more specific when I discuss issues with DH
Short or long term? Long
Why is it important? DH doesn't always understand what I'm trying to get out of our discussions and then I get pissed when I don't get the results I want - If I'm more specific about why I'm bringing issues up then he will be more open to working together to resolve them
How am I going to accomplish it? I'm going to think about the issue, ask what I would be okay with as a resolution, and come up with some ideas for solutions before discussing with DH


Goal: Continue with my whole body counseling and use the tools she gives me
Short or long term? short/long
Why is it important? It's really helping me feel like myself again... even better. The tools I'm learning can be used with future stressors as well.
How am I going to accomplish it? continue with weekly sessions until I feel I can go down to bi-weekly and just keep at it until I feel more under control

[motownthrowdown]

Goal:
Short or long term?
Why is it important?
How am I going to accomplish it?
[/quote]


***I'm new to trigger warnings, but LC mentioned***

Goal: Get up for my 2 am pumping session.
Terms: long term
Why is it important? Amelia needs me to pump and I need to maintain my supply. I want to be able to attempt breastfeeding when she's big enough (born at 28 weeks). Pumping is the only thing I can really do to help her.
How will I accomplish? Since I'm turning the alarm off in my sleep, I'm going to put it on the floor so that I have to get out of bed to turn it off.

Goal: get more rest
Terms: long term
Importance: lack of sleep is making me cranky and generally tanking my motivation. Sleep will also help milk production.
How: take a nap at nicu when I can. Keep the house in decent shape so I can sleep when we get home.

These two are going to be hard to do together, since I'm trying to pump every 2 or 3 hours around the clock. They are both so important that I'm stressing out about smelling through my alarm because I didn't pump but then I'm stressed about having to wake up in order to pump. And stress is bad for milk production too.

Meds: lexapro for ppd and gad. I'm loving the lexapro so far. My overall mental stability is really good, especially considering the circumstances.

[icequeen]

juliayadda, is there any way DS can help you clean his room so he can be more vigilant about keeping it cleaner next time? I am the opposite of you; I am so overwhelmed by yard work. That is the one chore that DH has. Give me all the laundry!
runnergirl812, sleep is so important! I really hope you can get everything done in time to get to bed at that time. I'm sure it will help your anxiety too.
@usernameedit, I have to work on my deep breathing too. I always forget about that tool. By the time I remember to breathe, I am so far into my panic attack that I can't regain control.
motownthrowdown, you are doing such an amazing thing for Amelia. I know the BM will be so helpful to her when she can BF. If you feel like the house work is too much and interfering with your rest, maybe you can ask YH to help with a chore or two so you can get a nap in. Before I got pregnant, I was used to doing housework and errands all day long, but now DH lets me sleep for an hour when he gets home and helps take care of cooking or cleaning up. It probably won't last, but it's really nice for now!

[Deleted]

icequeen - there is something my counselor taught me... she calls it "voo". You basically take a deep breath and instead of just letting it out, say "vooooooooo...." for as long as you can in whatever tone comes out naturally. Hold it stead. Do it over and over again until you feel more relaxed. I had to retreat to the bathroom to do this the other night as I could feel myself escalate.

[icequeen]

Jun 10, 2015 15:43:18 GMT -5 @usernameedit said:

icequeen - there is something my counselor taught me... she calls it "voo". You basically take a deep breath and instead of just letting it out, say "vooooooooo...." for as long as you can in whatever tone comes out naturally. Hold it stead. Do it over and over again until you feel more relaxed. I had to retreat to the bathroom to do this the other night as I could feel myself escalate.

Ha, that sounds interesting! I will definitely have to give it a try. Thanks for sharing that

[juliayadda]

Jun 10, 2015 15:01:58 GMT -5 icequeen said:

juliayadda, is there any way DS can help you clean his room so he can be more vigilant about keeping it cleaner next time? I am the opposite of you; I am so overwhelmed by yard work. That is the one chore that DH has. Give me all the laundry!
runnergirl812, sleep is so important! I really hope you can get everything done in time to get to bed at that time. I'm sure it will help your anxiety too.
@usernameedit, I have to work on my deep breathing too. I always forget about that tool. By the time I remember to breathe, I am so far into my panic attack that I can't regain control.
motownthrowdown, you are doing such an amazing thing for Amelia. I know the BM will be so helpful to her when she can BF. If you feel like the house work is too much and interfering with your rest, maybe you can ask YH to help with a chore or two so you can get a nap in. Before I got pregnant, I was used to doing housework and errands all day long, but now DH lets me sleep for an hour when he gets home and helps take care of cooking or cleaning up. It probably won't last, but it's really nice for now!

Oh I set him to work for sure! He needs monster points if he wants new skylanders! But now he is going to dad's this weekend so he wont be able to help as much as I would have liked. yard work = bliss for me

[runnergirl812]

Jun 10, 2015 15:43:18 GMT -5 @usernameedit said:

icequeen - there is something my counselor taught me... she calls it "voo". You basically take a deep breath and instead of just letting it out, say "vooooooooo...." for as long as you can in whatever tone comes out naturally. Hold it stead. Do it over and over again until you feel more relaxed. I had to retreat to the bathroom to do this the other night as I could feel myself escalate.

Definitely trying this. I've been doing good with boxed breathing but sometimes I get angry and stressed and feel my anxiety creep up and the boxed breathing doesn't always get me there.

[runnergirl812]

Meds taken a bit late tonight. But I'm in bed. So that's good. Last two nights I've gotten 9 hrs. Still unmotivated to go to work, but once there have been productive!

[icequeen]

Jun 10, 2015 20:42:14 GMT -5 runnergirl812 said:

Meds taken a bit late tonight. But I'm in bed. So that's good. Last two nights I've gotten 9 hrs. Still unmotivated to go to work, but once there have been productive!

Good job!! Hope you don't have to be there too much longer!

[runnergirl812]

I have basically given up on the one job offer ever coming despite the positive feedback and the promise that it was coming. I'm still applying elsewhere and keeping my eyes open for other positions. But in the meantime, I am determined to do my best at my current job and turn things around. I lost the trust of my boss when I lost my motivation and started self sabotaging projects. I was behind on a lot and I'm just now turning the corner. I have a status meeting tomorrow and I will be happy to report progress on some projects that have been on the back burner. For other things, I'm still working on rebuilding trust. I had a reputation for being on time, productive, and an overachiever. In November, the anxiety got overwhelming and by January I knew I needed help this time. I was crying all the time, losing hair, sleeping way too much, and having panic attacks each week. Therapy and meds have helped me tremendously. I still get worn out, but I have more of my energy back. I still dislike many many many aspects of my Job. But I, coping and pulling more hours to show my boss I'm still the dedicated person she hired, despite the past slump.

[icequeen]

runnergirl812, I'm honestly so surprised that nothing has come back yet. It seemed like there were so many promising opportunities out there. Did your friend who sent your resume to her VP ever get back to you? Maybe it would be worth asking if anything came about with that? I truly admire your renewed motivation and I am proud of you for getting back on your feet and I hope that your boss recognizes that at your meeting tomorrow. Let me know how it goes!