Ok so I think I may be overreacting but I'm not too sure. You guys may know that I'm not too fond of my inlaws. They are coming for 1 week in a few weeks and I'm still very traumatized from their visit when Allison was was just born and they stayed for 2 weeks. So they are only staying with us for a few days. They want to watch Allison for the 2 8 hr day shifts that I'm working. They can't go up the stairs where her room is, they can't walk her in a stroller if she is crying, they usually just let her cry from my experience when they came up for 2 weeks. I don't even like leaving Allison alone with my dad for long periods of time, maybe 4 hrs tops, but I know he can usually just got walking around the neighborhood to keep her calm. I want to let them enjoy her, but them watching her for 2 days is causing me so much anxiety. She is even giving my parents a tough time cuz she's refusing the bottle and being very fussy but I know my parents can do things to calm her down. Any tips?? Should I just let it go?!?
I wouldn't let them, based on the mobility issue alone. I might say something a long the lines of "Allison is a lot more mobile since the last time you were here, it doesn't sound like a good idea." Maybe let them spend some time with her while you and your H go on a date? I think they're probably trying to be helpful, but it's misplaced.
If they can't get to her room or walk her in the stroller and that's a major way to calm her, then that's definitely enough to say it's not a good idea. Then your feelings about it solidifies the no, imo. If you are having anxiety about leaving her with them, you are not going to be a happy camper and that's going to be worse for your relationship with them. I say don't do it! I like the idea of an hour or two, but no way to all day.
I agree with pixie523 and zengal, the mobility issue alone is good enough explanation. They will surely spend a good amount of time with her without having to watch her for the 8 hours. She is already pulling herself up, right?
Keep your normal daycare for those two days. Or if you or your H can finagle half days. I think 4 hours is still a lot, but maybe a compromise for one of the days? I don't know. I wouldn't be comfortable with that either.
Post by wildflower810 on Jun 9, 2015 11:32:14 GMT -5
I think you need to be clear on what LO demands of the people who are watching her. You might say "she's very used to her routine... and it entails x, y, z, upstairs, downstairs, out for a walk, all around the house, etc." I'm sure it's hard for them to realize they aren't as able to do things as they were 10-15 years ago, but that's part of life. I would not leave them with her for two 8 hour days.
Everyone else has given good advice, but if you decide to have them only watch her for a few hours, maybe have it be at a time of day when you know she is easiest to take care of? I know my LO is always a happy camper and hardly ever fusses in the morning hours, so that's when I'd feel most comfortable leaving her. But I think if you're not comfortable leaving her with them alone at all, that's totally fine! You have to do what you know is best for you guys, even if it upsets them. Just make sure they get plenty of time with her while you're there too, and they should have nothing to complain about.
Post by ninergirl52 on Jun 9, 2015 11:50:41 GMT -5
I completely see other's points, however, my mom struggles carrying my LO up the stairs as well, and she wouldn't take him for a walk but she is a FANTASTIC care giver. I keep a pack n' play downstairs anyway so its not a huge deal and DH and I tend to be the only one who take LO for a walk, so both issues would be non issues for me. If they can manage her realistically then I'd say let them. But if you're just flat out uncomfortable with their abilities then I'd absolutely not let them watch her. Not sure I'm much help here. Just wanted to provide a little insight as my mom has the same physical limitations.
I think everyone else has said what I was going to say. You have to do what's right for your LO and if their mobility is an issue then you can compromise a different way. Also, along the just letting her cry thing, some people just aren't baby people. Doesn't mean they love her any less they just might do better watching her when she's older.
I completely see other's points, however, my mom struggles carrying my LO up the stairs as well, and she wouldn't take him for a walk but she is a FANTASTIC care giver. I keep a pack n' play downstairs anyway so its not a huge deal and DH and I tend to be the only one who take LO for a walk, so both issues would be non issues for me. If they can manage her realistically then I'd say let them. But if you're just flat out uncomfortable with their abilities then I'd absolutely not let them watch her. Not sure I'm much help here. Just wanted to provide a little insight as my mom has the same physical limitations.
I agree with this. If you are just uncomfortable with her watching your daughter then say no. But, if it is just the physical limitations I would give them a chance.
Post by spiraltheory on Jun 9, 2015 16:06:00 GMT -5
I think everyone said what j was going to say. Ultimately, you have to do whatever you're comfortable with. Are you worried about how to tell them or hurting their feelings?
Thanks so much to everyone that replied! I appreciate everyone taking the time to give me advice. I honestly want to give them as much time with her as possible but I think 2 8 hrs is too much. My parents have a hard time for 8 hrs and they are very active. I do feel like I'd hurt their feelings because they live in Texas and we are in MA. They are specifically coming up to hang out with her. I really want to give them time with her but I'm a very personal person and don't like people in my space. I told them a weekend would be fine to stay with us but they keep wiggling extra days to stay with us so that's making me more mad. I think I'm just going to have them watch her 1 day then have my parents do the other day. No explanation. That's just what we want and end it there. I just wish they stayed in a hotel in the city next to us and placed to come over every night. Instead they have this elaborate plans to stay in a lake house for 4 nights and stay with us the other nights. I just don't think they understand me.
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