Who needs TB? Update on my crazy ass pregnant wedding plans!

[keenebrideflipside]

Hey all, I jumped ship  Tryin' to figure out my way around this new board, but I think it's great.  Anyway, real reason for my post:

Reality smacked us in the face about a week ago.... Are we REALLY going to drop 12K on a wedding 2 months before we have another child? Spend every last dollar we have and more on a single day wherein I will be uncomfortable, sweaty, and channeling a pregnant whale? NOPE. That's irresponsible and idiotic to put ourselves in that kind of debt. So.... Change of plans! Small, intimate wedding hopefully on April 25th with about 40-60 people in our hometown. Commence the freak out right MEOW.  Touring/booking new venue, finding new catering, begging and pleading with David's bridal to make sure my bridesmaids dresses are in on time... Woooo sawwwwwwwww.... I need a beer damnit.  

But really, I think this is for the best.  We'll be saving about 7K, which will go into our house downpayment fund, and then we will have a big ol' "reception" type of casual party next year on our 1 year anniversary so we can REALLY celebrate with all of our family/friends.  

Anyone have any words of wisdom on throwing a wedding together in 3 months?

[titsmcgee]

I don't really have any advice other than a wedding planner would be a big help. Glad you got it figured out and good luck with everything!

[vtcnicely]

Good luck, keep it simple and remember the most important thing is the marriage - not the wedding.

[atty]

Jan 14, 2015 18:50:27 GMT -5 vtcnicely said:

Good luck, keep it simple and remember the most important thing is the marriage - not the wedding.

This. No need to have lavish food/decor really. For me, the one thing worth not skimping on would be the photographer.

[malelz]

You are a wise woman! Way to go spending as little as possible. DH and I had a small intimate wedding, not because we had a kid on the way but because we were poor. It was great. We leaned on family and friends a lot for help. We had volunteers help with altering my dress, decor, making a cake, and clean-up,. I had a close friend act as a wedding planner, she was essential. I don't know how it would have stayed organized if not for her. We threw it together in a little less than three months. Basically, I was on the phone a LOT. Best of luck to you!

[skylark12]

We had a big wedding and wish we had gone smaller in hindsight. Just remember, all you need is each other, someone to perform the ceremony, and a witness. It can be as simple as that and then go from there.

[brazilianpeach]

April 25!!! My wedding anniversary!!!

I planned my wedding is less than 2 months. The trick? Keep it small, keep it simple and remember this is really about you two and no one else!

[keenebrideflipside]

Thank you ladies! While I am a bit sad that I won't get my dream coastal wedding, if at the end of the day he's my husband, then it will be perfect in my mind. I have already scouted out a new venue who provides ALL decor, and lets us bring in our own food/catering and alcohol. So our plan is heavy appetizers and a chocolate fountain, and cake of course. My (future) mother in law and I will whip up a few things, get the rest of the apps from costco along with beer/wine. We have a few bartender friends who will serve for us, and another friend who is making our cake for us at a serious discount. Already spoke with the photographer, and she will cut her cost a bit since it's local and will be smaller (cutting the guest list in half). Literally barely any fucks given. I'm stressed from the sudden change in plans and the fact that I'm going to be married in now 3 months (EEEK!) but definitely relieved we are doing a more intimate gathering.

[mosdub]

I agree with everyone else! I want to add a couple ideas to help with photography. If you decide to cut costs by not hiring a professional photographer you can provide a basket of disposable cameras for your guests to use or encourage people to take photos with their phones. My friend had everyone take pics and "instagram" them with a special hashtag like #SoandSoWedding15 -- it was fun to see the wedding on instagram from different perspectives.

I did the disposable camera idea and some of my favorite candids are from those cameras! So much more meaningful than the posed photos in my opinion.

[astheria]

Consider Costco sheet cakes and just a small wedding cake. They are way overpriced. For bridesmaids bouquets consider silk flowers. Loads cheaper.

[annabananabomb]

I had a small wedding (less than 20 peeps) at the court house followed by a party at the pub (80 guests). It was the best, wouldn't change a thing.

We had limited budget so I bought my wedding dress online (it was a cocktail dress so cost a tenth of the price of a normal gown), I did flowers just for me and not for bridesmaids. Bridesmaids and groomsmen bought their own outfits and were told to wear whatever they were comfortable in. The venue was perfect as it was, no decorating required. Mothers, mothers-in-law, aunts, and friends with signature desserts made them and brought them along in lieu of cake. My normal hairdresser did my hair and I did my own makeup, the bridesmaids did their own hair and makeup.

I had nine months to organise it, so plenty of time but because of the budget we really had to prioritise and this could be a good option for you.

We didn't scrimp on a photographer though, and I'm so glad. Here are the photos if you want a squiz: www.lakshalperera.com/2013/11/anna-and-lukes-intimate-melbourne-wedding/

[ampaints]

@annabananabom‌b your pictures are beautiful!

[astheria]

Forgot to mention. We did a 300 person wedding with full dinner for 6000 total including my dress. Silks, Costco cakes, and some good friends who only charged is good cost helped a ton. Costco also can order flowers if you want to build your own bouquets. Most we paid for were photog and a band to play during dinner (didn't have dancing). Then again we also didn't have alcohol. But if you can buy direct or in bulk (costco again) you can take those costs down as well.

[annabananabomb]

Jan 14, 2015 20:34:05 GMT -5 ampaints said:

@annabananabom‌b your pictures are beautiful!

Thanks ampaints! I think so but I'm pretty biased

[yogisews]

I agree with others, the one thing I wouldn't scrimp on is photography. We had a $5k budget and were able to keep within that with a lot of diy decorations and trying to keep everything simple.

Edited: autocorrect and grammar errors

[ampaints]

Jan 14, 2015 20:38:26 GMT -5 annabananabomb said:

Jan 14, 2015 20:34:05 GMT -5 ampaints said:

@annabananabom‌b your pictures are beautiful!

Thanks ampaints! I think so but I'm pretty biased

My dream vacation is to go to Australia and see a ton of concerts. I love a bunch of bands from Australia that never come here!


And back on topic, we had a super small wedding, 8 people and then a reception later. Wouldn't change a thing! The only people who matter are you and your fiance. Enjoy every minute of it. I also think that sets a great example for your children, knowing what's really important and how to set your priorities!

[jedimomtricks]

Congrats! That honestly sounds fantastic. You're being smart. I wanted a small wedding and should've put my foot down with DH's family (especially since they weren't contributing, why they thought they got a say is still beyond me?). You won't regret this, the day flies by, and a marriage with a better financial beginning is way more valuable.

[atty]

Jan 14, 2015 20:38:26 GMT -5 annabananabomb said:

Jan 14, 2015 20:34:05 GMT -5 ampaints said:

@annabananabom‌b your pictures are beautiful!

Thanks ampaints! I think so but I'm pretty biased

This is exactly why I said don't skimp on the photog. Gorgeous.

Well that and personal experience with only so-so wedding pictures. I wish I had more stuff like yours and less posey crap.

[aelias]

Sweet, simple weddings are the best. And good for you for saving your money. My mom's words of wisdom: "At the end of the day, you're just as married as anyone else."

FWIW, as a guest and a married person, here are my lists of things to spend on and save on:

Spend:
1) Photographer
2) Food/alcohol
3) DJ
4) your dress (though there are plenty of beautiful, affordable dresses out there)

Save:
1) Invitations ( a good website--free--is all I ever use anyway)
2) center pieces
3) wedding favors (seriously, I have thrown away so many wedding favors)
4) the wedding cake (we did pie instead, but I think you mentioned a chocolate fountain which sounds awesome)

[aelias]

annabananabomb. Holy crap, that portrait of you in your dress with the leather jacket is amazing!

[elvenqueen]

I'm a little late to this but thought I'd share anyway. We had a small wedding of 30 guests (kind of our preference but also I live far from all my friends), and we completely did it on a budget. I think it was under $8k in the end, which might sound like a lot for that number of guests but we decided to spend a lot on the thing we wanted the best possible quality on: food. We love food.
My big piece of advice is to make use of your creative friends.
- any friends good with a camera / photographers? I had two friends take candids on the day and evening and my maid of honour is a photographer so she did our portraits
- any friends into baking? You could do tiers of cupcakes in lieu of a cake
- some venues will give discounts for smaller weddings, and some will snub smaller weddings. The discounts are there, find them! Our venue was half price because the coordinater liked small weddings so much.
- off season. April sounds good and perfect for off season pricing.
- consider doing flowers yourself. I bought what I wanted in bulk, had it arrive two days before. Day before the wedding I made 4 bouquets and all the centre pieces (using mason jars), and I had a friend make two corsages and boutonnières for the mothers/DH/best man. It sounds like a lot of work but your bridesmaids can help and YouTube tutorials make it really easy. I'm so glad I did my own.
- no open bar. You won't drink (much) anyway, so consider just having some table wine that you source yourself and have your caterer serve.
-iPod playlist works really well for both ceremony and reception so long as your venue can play it with decent quality


ETA: my 8k figure is a very rough conversion because it was £3500-£4000 and I'm only savvy with GBP to CAD conversions

[keenebrideflipside]

Thank you all for the reassurances and suggestions! I will look into silk flowers, and maybe mix fresh and silk... hmmm. For flowers I was planning on canning my florist (keeps changing prices and I haven't signed a contract yet so SIANARA buddy!) and going to a big farmers market we have here in Portland and getting all of the fresh, in season flowers and just get crafty... I don't know the first thing about making bouquets though... Hope there's some youtube videos or somethin...

I have my good friend making a small cake for us to cut, and then mini cupcakes for the guests, along with the chocolate fountain (Fiance is insisting on this since both of his brothers had one at their weddings, so I digress).

Photography is important to us, so I'm sticking with my gal. She told me she would cut her original quote since it will be a smaller gathering, no travel, etc. Her and I are on the same page when it comes to staged vs. candid shots. We are not the type of people to make our guests wait around for us to take "family portraits" for hours before the reception starts. Nope. I said 30 min of staged photos immediately after the ceremony, and then candid shots for the rest of the night. That's where the gold will be

As for catering, we're only doing apps. All DIY/costco trays of food. It will be good yes, but not cost a ton. Same with alcohol. Our venue only allows beer/wine anyway so we MIGHT be getting a keg of home brewed beer from a friend (that will save some $$) and then just pick up some of the giant bottles of wine. Hell, I might even be cheaper and just make sangria with the wine and dilute it with juice! Ha!

I am still on the fence about invitations though... Since the save the dates are already out, I almost feel like an invitation with the new updated date and location would be necessary. We plan on making a big baby/new wedding plan announcement on facebook on Monday, once I'm nearly through 1st tri and we (hopefully) have the new venue booked, but since we're changing everything so drastically, I'm thinking would be respectful to at least mail the guests (who made the cut ) an actual paper invite. Thoughts?

[jedimomtricks]

There are really great YouTube vids for doing your own bouquets, especially if you keep it nice and simple! As for paper invites, if you sent the save the dates paper I'd probably do paper redos, there are SO many adorable print your own options that are really cute and affordable. We did print your own 7 years ago when there were all pretty lame still, I just couldn't bring myself to pay printers so much for paper people are going to throw in the recycling.